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Post by teach4u on Nov 25, 2018 18:53:31 GMT
My spouse took my college age child back to school (4 hr drive). I'm home with a younger child.
One of our siblings pulls up, no call, text or email and says "hey, XYZ (siblings child's name) wants to play with _______( my kid). I'm in my pj's (planning on no company). "I'm going to do a little shopping, I'll be back," and leaves.
(yes, it's spouse's sibling). I'm not calling to rag about it because I want them to drive safely (winter storm coming).
Niece/nephew's crying they want their parent.
I could have said "piss off, I'm not watching so and so" but that would not be Christian or in the spirit of the holidays.
However, how freaking rude are you to drop a kid off and not ask, call, inquire if the people are ok with it?
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Belle
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Belle on Nov 25, 2018 19:02:54 GMT
Do you think they got mixed up on the plans? How strange???
I would phone the parent to say dropped off child is crying and needs to be picked up.
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Post by Hayjaker on Nov 25, 2018 19:05:22 GMT
Did you not respond or say anything to the parent?
No matter who I would say WTH?
And I love my niece/ nephew so they are always welcome.
Can you call up the parent and let their kid talk to them?
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,707
Location: Ohio
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Post by StephDRebel on Nov 25, 2018 19:24:46 GMT
Os this typical behaviour from that sibling?
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Post by mom on Nov 25, 2018 19:28:14 GMT
I don't think we have enough details about this....
is this normal for your family? We never see my nieces and nephews so there is no chance this would happen in my family.
did your DH say it was ok ahead of time?
It sounds to me like you have a history of this happening - to where the other mom thought it would be ok.
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by AnotherPea on Nov 25, 2018 19:30:35 GMT
I know families that do this sort of thing. For them it isn't rude. I would be put out if someone made such sweeping assumptions about me and my time.
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Deleted
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Nov 2, 2024 1:30:38 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 25, 2018 19:32:52 GMT
My spouse took my college age child back to school (4 hr drive). I'm home with a younger child.
One of our siblings pulls up, no call, text or email and says "hey, XYZ (siblings child's name) wants to play with _______( my kid). I'm in my pj's (planning on no company). "I'm going to do a little shopping, I'll be back," and leaves.
(yes, it's spouse's sibling). I'm not calling to rag about it because I want them to drive safely (winter storm coming).
Niece/nephew's crying they want their parent.
I could have said "piss off, I'm not watching so and so" but that would not be Christian or in the spirit of the holidays.
However, how freaking rude are you to drop a kid off and not ask, call, inquire if the people are ok with it?
As Dr. Phil has said, you teach others how to treat you. I don't see what Christianity or the spirit of the holidays has to do with it other than being polite to say "This doesn't work for me today" YoungerChild didn't have permission from me to invite a guest to the house today. |
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Post by chlerbie on Nov 25, 2018 19:53:58 GMT
Do you not have a good relationship with this sibling? If one of my brothers had done that, I'd have said something. I may have still kept my nephew, but I'd have let him know that in the future, I needed a call. But I also adore spending time with my nephews and niece and would always love having them over.
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Post by bc2ca on Nov 25, 2018 19:55:18 GMT
I could 100% see my SIL call DH to ask if she could drop off her son. His response would be "sure, I'm running errands but bc2ca is just hanging out with the kids at the house today". SIL would show up unexpected, assuming DH had given me the head's up they were on the way. DH would be oblivious that I might want a head's up.
How old is the child? Crying for a parent sounds like a preschooler/toddler and is more work than a school age child. I wouldn't be surprised if the real story is mom wanted to do a little shopping and needed to park the child somewhere.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Nov 25, 2018 19:55:29 GMT
I could have said "piss off, I'm not watching so and so" but that would not be Christian or in the spirit of the holidays. Well, that's a pretty extreme response. There's a whole range of other things you could say as well. I'd go more with, "Oh darn, this is quite unexpected and just won't work for us today. I hope the two of you enjoy your shopping though!" If you think she's being rude, why would you want to be rude in response? Never let other peoples' behavior determine your own. |
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paigepea
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Post by paigepea on Nov 25, 2018 19:56:07 GMT
How old are these kids?
I would have said my child had plans.
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Post by teach4u on Nov 25, 2018 19:57:56 GMT
I have a good relationship with this person. My house is a construction zone. I have no toys out for very young kids. Said child also started crying because they didn't know the parent was leaving. They were only gone 1 1/2 hour.
I enjoy my family. Not so much when have my house is torn out, no call, and no one was expecting to entertain.
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Post by beaglemom on Nov 25, 2018 20:12:47 GMT
This is why I am very glad we live states away from dh's family. I could totally see that happening if we lived nearby. Since we don't live close they do it on vacation instead. The time I put my foot down about it I got so much grief for it!
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Post by 950nancy on Nov 25, 2018 20:19:34 GMT
We have had company stay with us (four kids) and the mom will leave to do something and then the dad decides that he needs to go for a run or play basketball and leaves. Pretty soon I am the only one in the house with four kids who don't know me very well. I will say the mom would have never done that, but the dad seems clueless sometimes when he just wants to do something he wants to do. So maybe I am not that surprised that this relative did this to you. Wonder what he/she would say if you did the same.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Nov 25, 2018 20:33:46 GMT
I wouldn’t be cool with that at all, mostly for the no heads up beforehand and doubly so if my house is in the middle of renovations. I would take a hard pass then, because it’s hard enough watching a little kid when there aren’t inherent dangers lurking around every corner. Even my most clueless of siblings would be likely to call first in a situation like that because I wouldn’t hesitate to send them on their way with their kid if they didn’t.
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Post by baslp on Nov 25, 2018 20:39:00 GMT
I would definitely have a talk with the person when he returned.
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Post by baslp on Nov 25, 2018 20:39:21 GMT
I would definitely have a talk with the person when he returned.
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Post by mom on Nov 25, 2018 20:42:02 GMT
I have a good relationship with this person. My house is a construction zone. I have no toys out for very young kids. Said child also started crying because they didn't know the parent was leaving. They were only gone 1 1/2 hour. I enjoy my family. Not so much when have my house is torn out, no call, and no one was expecting to entertain.I think this is what you say to the parents. Surely they will understand. |
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Nov 25, 2018 21:03:15 GMT
Self entitled, rude, presumptuous, free babysitting....at it's finest.
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Post by cindytred on Nov 25, 2018 21:09:26 GMT
Yeah, that would make me mad too.
That reminds me of the time when my kids were outside playing and a neighbor from down the street stopped and handed my 9 year old the keys to her house and said, "We are going out of town. Take care of the dogs." and they drove away. They didn't ask if it was okay with us, or even say how long they'd be gone. Nothing. I was so mad.
Cindy
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Post by mikklynn on Nov 25, 2018 21:14:57 GMT
Self entitled, rude, presumptuous, free babysitting....at it's finest. I agree! It was pretty rare I would not agree to babysit, but call first! |
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Post by nellej on Nov 25, 2018 21:22:30 GMT
Yikes. Hope nephew/niece has been collected now. Hope the cousins enjoyed their time together though.
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Post by nellej on Nov 25, 2018 21:47:37 GMT
Just seen your other thread - hope your Dad's better soon.
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Deleted
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Nov 2, 2024 1:30:38 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 25, 2018 22:29:12 GMT
How did they even know you were home? Have they done this before? I would not be happy with this surprise babysitting job.  |
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Post by teach4u on Nov 25, 2018 22:46:16 GMT
Usually my dh is home and us cool with it.
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Post by quinlove on Nov 25, 2018 22:56:04 GMT
I could have said "piss off, I'm not watching so and so" but that would not be Christian or in the spirit of the holidays. Well, that's a pretty extreme response. There's a whole range of other things you could say as well. I'd go more with, "Oh darn, this is quite unexpected and just won't work for us today. I hope the two of you enjoy your shopping though!" If you think she's being rude, why would you want to be rude in response? Never let other peoples' behavior determine your own. Love ~ Never let other peoples’ Behavior determine your own. But, this usually takes a while to figure this one out ! Ha. ( could someone please show me how to highlight part of a quote ). 😊 |
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Deleted
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Nov 2, 2024 1:30:38 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 25, 2018 23:23:52 GMT
Usually my dh is home and us cool with it.
If this is something that's been done before, then I could see how SIL felt comfortable doing it today. However, next time I would just speak up and say, "Sorry but today is not a convenient day. Perhaps another time."
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Post by ajsweetpea on Nov 25, 2018 23:35:38 GMT
Ugh, I don't think that is cool at all. I think I would have made up an excuse to say no, like telling them that we already had plans for the day. I don't think they should have expected you to care for their kid with no notice. Who does this?
Many years ago, when my husband and I were new parents I remember relatives invited us to their house. They had young children and we thought it would be a fun night hanging out. We were there for all of two minutes when they told us they were invited to a party that night and they thought it would be great if we could watch their kids so they "didn't have to pay for a babysitter". I seriously thought that was so rude. If they had just been upfront, I more than likely would have agreed. But since they invited us over under false pretenses, we just declined and went home.
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,586
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Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Nov 25, 2018 23:41:44 GMT
Yeah, I'd be mad! I treasure any quiet time I have (and yes, having only one kid at home qualifies when "normal" is a bunch of them!), and I would not like it taken up with impromptu babysitting.
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Post by 950nancy on Nov 25, 2018 23:55:14 GMT
Yeah, that would make me mad too. That reminds me of the time when my kids were outside playing and a neighbor from down the street stopped and handed my 9 year old the keys to her house and said, "We are going out of town. Take care of the dogs." and they drove away. They didn't ask if it was okay with us, or even say how long they'd be gone. Nothing. I was so mad. Cindy Did she leave them a bill? |
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