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Post by scrapmaven on Feb 20, 2019 5:02:42 GMT
WTH is with women wearing wedding dresses to other people's weddings?! I have never heard of anyone doing that, now several in one thread! My grandfather's wife(not my grandmother) was pure evil. She did it so that she would get attention. Everything was about HER. Luckily, it was a short white dress, so it didn't completely look like a wedding dress, but it was darn close. I donated my dress, so I can't wear it to my kid's weddings when they get married. Darn.
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Post by anniefb on Feb 20, 2019 5:04:26 GMT
I wouldn’t do it and I think plain white should be avoided- unless the bride is ok with it.
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 2,858
Jun 26, 2014 17:25:06 GMT
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Post by TXMary on Feb 20, 2019 5:06:24 GMT
In the south, that is one of the unforgivable sins. A white sweater/jacket is barely passable. a white DRESS of any fabric, NO. Not even a sweater. And if you disregard that iron clad rule, you WILL be talked about for all of eternity! That’s true. I loved my MIL. She was a kind, wonderful woman. But she showed up at our wedding wearing a white dress. We have been married for 32 years and she’s been dead since 2004 and see...I am still talking about it. It's a solid "no" from me.
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Post by tracyarts on Feb 20, 2019 5:07:26 GMT
My sister in law wore a white pantsuit with a big fancy white hat to my wedding.
I honestly wasn't offended. I knew she was very attention-needy. I'm just glad she only wore white and didn't orchestrate a catastrophe of some sort.
But a lot of guests were less than impressed with it.
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Deleted
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Jul 8, 2024 1:24:01 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2019 5:09:53 GMT
WTH is with women wearing wedding dresses to other people's weddings?! I have never heard of anyone doing that, now several in one thread! I read an article a few days ago about a bride who invited guests to wear their wedding dresses to her wedding... Ha, and she wore blue!
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Post by gar on Feb 20, 2019 9:12:30 GMT
My wedding dress was soft white and I carried red roses. My bridesmaids wore the same colour dresses with red sashes and carried red roses. My SIL decided the only outfit for her was a soft white, very short dress with a split at the back and a huge, red hat and matching bag and shoes. I never had any doubt about her thought process that day.
I think this is a universal thing, nothing to do with location.
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Post by pattyraindrops on Feb 20, 2019 9:13:30 GMT
It might be of little consequence to the bride if you wear white to her wedding, and the majority opinion might think it is a silly rule, BUT if you wear white to a wedding, you ARE going to be talked about. So if you make that decision, then you might be trying for attention. And at weddings all attention should be on the bride and the bridal party. Now of course,there are special circumstances that make it fine and dandy. Some of you have mentioned that. so there is that Now with this thread I am wondering how many people think I wanted attention as only 3 knew the bride requested the white for me. Lol.
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,796
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Feb 20, 2019 9:26:52 GMT
I don't think a white dress worn by a guest is going to make anyone wonder whether she is the bride, so I don't see it as a problem. Fashions change. People have different belief systems. I was brought up being told that only virgins wear white, it was unlucky to wear green at a wedding, and "red hat, no knickers". I read an interesting article not long ago about the origin of wedding wear and bridesmaids. Bridesmaids were only there because of the superstition that bad spirits might come and charm the bride away, so she had lots of girls dressed exactly the same as her, so that the bad spirits couldn't tell which was the bride. Brides wearing white only became fashionable in the 19th century, and then it was only for virginal brides. Gowns were chaste, exposing minimal skin. These days bridesmaids wear different colours, bridal gowns seem to be designed to be as revealing as possible, and brides wear white with their own offspring as ring bearers.
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Post by gar on Feb 20, 2019 9:27:13 GMT
It might be of little consequence to the bride if you wear white to her wedding, and the majority opinion might think it is a silly rule, BUT if you wear white to a wedding, you ARE going to be talked about. So if you make that decision, then you might be trying for attention. And at weddings all attention should be on the bride and the bridal party. Now of course,there are special circumstances that make it fine and dandy. Some of you have mentioned that. so there is that Now with this thread I am wondering how many people think I wanted attention as only 3 knew the bride requested the white for me. Lol. I think a white skirt with a coloured top is very different from head to toe in white.
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Deleted
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Jul 8, 2024 1:24:01 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2019 9:41:13 GMT
It wouldn't bother me unless it was very obvious as in gar 's post. I personally wouldn't do so, not because of maybe upstaging a bride, although a guest outfit is unlikely to resemble a wedding dress but because all white doesn't really suit me. I have been to weddings where guests have done so but they usually have an accent colour of one thing or another,usually jewellery or a hat/fascinator.
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joelise
Drama Llama
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Jul 1, 2014 6:33:14 GMT
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Post by joelise on Feb 20, 2019 9:42:06 GMT
My wedding dress was soft white and I carried red roses. My bridesmaids wore the same colour dresses with red sashes and carried red roses. My SIL decided the only outfit for her was a soft white, very short dress with a split at the back and a huge, red hat and matching bag and shoes. I never had any doubt about her thought process that day. I think this is a universal thing, nothing to do with location. Was she making a point because she wasn’t chosen as a bridesmaid?
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Post by miominmio on Feb 20, 2019 9:44:56 GMT
Unless you KNOW the bride isn’t going to wear white, you choose another colour.
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Post by gar on Feb 20, 2019 9:47:03 GMT
joelise It's possible but there was never a chance in hell she was going to be a bridesmaid, the relationship between her and us was never close so that was never going to happen and I really don't think she would have wanted that role so...Dh's other sister managed to be mature about it
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Post by stacmac on Feb 20, 2019 11:20:09 GMT
Oh my gosh, I have a story. At my SIL's wedding, the new, young wife of the father of the groom attended wearing a floor length, white satin gown. We were in the lobby of the hotel with the bride waiting for the limo when down the big staircase she came, into the lobby wearing that dress and a fur wrap. Her hair and make up were professionally done and she looked like she was attending her own wedding.
SIL just stared and said quietly "someone do something!" but what could be done? We left for the church without a word to her. It was a huge wedding, and I don't think any attention was paid to her really, but everyone was saying quietly it was poor taste. I think that might be her style from what I hear...
Anyway, I picked no. I know a sweater dress wouldn't compete with the bride but I just feel like white is for the bride only! Maybe I'm old fashioned that way.
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
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Aug 14, 2015 21:47:17 GMT
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Post by pilcas on Feb 20, 2019 11:38:53 GMT
A while, long evening gown would be trying to upstage the bride. A white sweater dress or suit, not so much unless the bride is wearing a less traditional, more casual dress. Honestly not something that I would waste time thinking about if I were the bride. But I tend to be annoyed by old traditions. I always hated the throwing the bouquet/garter tradition and refused to do it at my wedding.
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Post by phoenixcov on Feb 20, 2019 12:11:26 GMT
I am not overly traditional in most things (despite my advanced years) but to me this just boils down to good manners and not just tradition. Going to a wedding...don`t wear white unless you are desperate for the wrong kind of attention. I was married twice, never wore white but then again none of the guests did either come to think of it.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Feb 20, 2019 12:58:05 GMT
I voted no, but the older I get the more I wonder why people get bent out of shape over these things. If you have crazy friends/relatives that would wear a wedding dress to a wedding as a guest, I think you already knew they were batshit when you invited them. Nobody is going to confuse grandma Haversham for the actual bride. Most of the outrage over stuff like this is so petty. Yeah, it’s your wedding. No, even as the bride you can’t control other people. If your wedding day is more about perfection than starting a new family, you’re doing it wrong.
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Post by littlemama on Feb 20, 2019 13:12:07 GMT
Pure, solid, white? no way. White with a colored pattern, yes
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schizo319
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Posts: 3,030
Jun 28, 2014 0:26:58 GMT
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Post by schizo319 on Feb 20, 2019 13:22:29 GMT
Where I live (the South), a white sweater dress at a wedding would get you the side eye. If it's cool enough in the South for a sweater dress, it's likely after Labor Day and before Easter, which makes white a "no-no" regardless of the material or the event.
Side note: I think the white between Labor Day and Easter "rule" is ridiculous, but it's very much still a "thing" around here. No issue for me either way as I don't own any white clothing.
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 20, 2019 13:35:46 GMT
I forgot to mention, she wore a white bustier and long white skirt to her own DDs wedding. Does she look that good in white? I have a tendency to think that younger, tanner people look better in white. I didn't even wear white to my own wedding as it clashed with my skin. I think eyes are on the bride, but since it is SUCH a tradition, it's a little spiteful to wear white. She is 64 years old and over-tanned. She looks ok in white. I have no idea why she chose that outfit. She is absolutely an attention whore.
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 20, 2019 13:37:09 GMT
I’m not old fashioned and NO I don’t think it’s ok. White is one of my most flattering colors to wear, but I would never do that to the bride. The only time it’s ok is if there’s a significant pattern on the dress in a different color. Like this: I agree, this is fine. My MIL wore a floral dress with a white background, totally fine. The crazy aunt (DH's sister) was ALL white with brown/rhinestone cowboy boots.
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 20, 2019 13:39:09 GMT
Honestly a white sweater dress sounds fine. I think white at a wedding is wrong just because it is noticeable and everyone thinks it’s wrong - so how awkward! But really - white should be fine as long as it doesn’t resemble a wedding dress! I agree, personally. In fact, I walked into the church with her and it never crossed my mind that it was inappropriate. But, I live in MN, not the deep south. I think that also makes a difference. That is why I started the thread. I was curious about what percentage of people thought is acceptable or not acceptable.
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Deleted
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Jul 8, 2024 1:24:01 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2019 13:39:51 GMT
My cousin’s mil not only wore white but it was a slimmed version of her daughter’s dress. In the photos you can not tell which one is the bride.
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 20, 2019 13:46:59 GMT
Actually, the groom/nephew did not want to invite this aunt at all. His mother (another sister of DH) asked him to take the high road. This is likely the last time all 6 siblings and their mother will be together. My DH and a brother are in poor health. Their mother is 87.
She did, of course, manage to cause a scene in the church, complain about the food at the groom's dinner, and generally be a PITA. All typical behavior.
I only am polite to her for the sake of her 2 adult daughters, both lovely women.
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Post by piebaker on Feb 20, 2019 13:55:02 GMT
We attended a "black and white" wedding and not one woman wore all white except the bride. It was the only wedding I've attended where men broke out their formal dress suits/tuxedos even though they weren't in the wedding party. The photos were stunning!!
On a side note, my aunt wore a red suit to my grandmother's funeral back in the 70s. That caused a stir!!!
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Post by Really Red on Feb 20, 2019 14:28:24 GMT
Actually, the groom/nephew did not want to invite this aunt at all. His mother (another sister of DH) asked him to take the high road. This is likely the last time all 6 siblings and their mother will be together. My DH and a brother are in poor health. Their mother is 87. She did, of course, manage to cause a scene in the church, complain about the food at the groom's dinner, and generally be a PITA. All typical behavior. I only am polite to her for the sake of her 2 adult daughters, both lovely women. Sometimes I feel like this is just the icing on top. What story would you have to tell otherwise?
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Feb 20, 2019 15:04:46 GMT
Where I live (the South), a white sweater dress at a wedding would get you the side eye. If it's cool enough in the South for a sweater dress, it's likely after Labor Day and before Easter, which makes white a "no-no" regardless of the material or the event. This is so true! I'm older and old habits die hard, so I don't wear white during the forbidden time. However, I don't wear much white even in the summer. I seem to be a stain magnet when I do so it's easier not to wear it. I also don't own any white shoes, other than a pair of flat sandals (worn only during the approved months of course! ) That said, I did have everyone in our small town talking when I got married in 1977. It was a summer wedding, in the afternoon and I had my bridesmaids wear white eyelet dresses, lined with a dutch blue. DH wore a white tux with a baby blue ruffled shirt! My mother made all the dresses from a Vogue designer pattern. The reception had what was most likely the first ever groom's cake in that county. When we left the reception the guests tossed bird seed rather than rice. I'd wager that they are probably still talking about that wedding 41 years later!
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julie5
Pearl Clutcher
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Jul 11, 2018 15:20:45 GMT
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Post by julie5 on Feb 20, 2019 15:09:41 GMT
I said no but truthfully, I don’t even remember looking at what our guests wore just two years ago. So if somebody did I wouldn’t have been offended. But I didn’t invite anyone from my moms side-they are all trouble makes. At my second wedding, my sister didn’t attend the wedding saying she was sick. But was right on time dressed to the nines for the reception. Saying over and over “gee Julie I don’t know why everyone keeps looking at me”. It’s cause your tits are hanging out. That’s why. So for my third and final trip down the aisle, I excluded the people I hate-the ones that would something just to shit on my day.
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 20, 2019 15:22:28 GMT
Actually, the groom/nephew did not want to invite this aunt at all. His mother (another sister of DH) asked him to take the high road. This is likely the last time all 6 siblings and their mother will be together. My DH and a brother are in poor health. Their mother is 87. She did, of course, manage to cause a scene in the church, complain about the food at the groom's dinner, and generally be a PITA. All typical behavior. I only am polite to her for the sake of her 2 adult daughters, both lovely women. Sometimes I feel like this is just the icing on top. What story would you have to tell otherwise? Ha ha - my mom always jokes "We had nothing to talk about!" You'd fit right in with my family.
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Post by bigbundt on Feb 20, 2019 15:26:22 GMT
It is SO easy to pick another color that it seems a very deliberate choice to wear all white to a wedding knowing that traditionally all white AT a wedding means "bridal". Of course no one will mistake her for the bride but it is just in poor taste.
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