peabrain
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 25, 2014 22:18:04 GMT
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Post by peabrain on May 7, 2019 15:26:24 GMT
I think the clearly labelled part just means they want it labeled with who it's from (presumably for thank yous, but I see that's also a problem). See I'm such a smart ass, I'd label it with "These are DIAPERS"
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inkedup
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Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on May 7, 2019 15:33:00 GMT
Buy a gift if you want to, or don't buy one if you don't.
I can't tell you the name of one person who did not give us a wedding gift.
I don't understand the passive aggressive responses. "I'd wrap it just because she said not to." "I'd give them something they don't want because I think their manners are horrible."
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Post by 950nancy on May 7, 2019 16:33:06 GMT
I used to think that, but I would say maybe 75% of my thank-you notes have gotten lost in the mail. I get that, I do. I'd just always be thinking that the one that actually did get lost in the mail is now wondering why we're snubbing her and her baby shower since she has no idea that we never got the thank you. And without questioning everyone who "owes" you a thank you note... you just never know. I just know too many people who can't be bothered to say thank you. They flat out admit they are bad about writing them. I sincerely doubt they are getting lost in the mail. If I happened to be very close to someone who didn't send me a thank you, I might send them a baby gift, but for a friend's kid 250 miles away, I don't think so.
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Post by chaosisapony on May 7, 2019 16:42:08 GMT
I would love to attend a shower like that. The last two showers I have attended have taken up just over four hours of the day. Half of that time is watching some one open gifts. Which , to me, is incredibly boring . I'd much rather spend the time there socializing and sharing my excitement over the event than watching someone open packs of diapers and onesies.
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NoWomanNoCry
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Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on May 7, 2019 16:45:42 GMT
I would love to attend a shower like that. The last two showers I have attended have taken up just over four hours of the day. Half of that time is watching some one open gifts. Which , to me, is incredibly boring . I'd much rather spend the time there socializing and sharing my excitement over the event than watching someone open packs of diapers and onesies. I totally agree! I try not to attend these type of things but when I have to the gift unwrapping is so freaking boring.
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jeanninem
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Jun 27, 2014 0:33:42 GMT
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Post by jeanninem on May 7, 2019 16:46:12 GMT
I have been to showers where the gifts are not wrapped, but they usually have a bow and are nicely displayed. I was hesitant at first (I'm 54 for reference) because I've always been to showers with a wrapped gift but you know what - I LOVED THEM! It saves me time and money,it's less waste, the gifts are out for everyone to see and the showers are more fun with time to socialize. Why does the recipient have to sit in front of everyone and ooh and aah? The whole point of a shower is to give/receive gifts and have fun with friends and family. I always felt that I was thanked appropriately. Display showers are awesome.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jul 6, 2024 18:58:34 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2019 18:26:02 GMT
I would be disappointed not bringing a wrapped gift and for etiquette's sake, I'd like to see the unwrapping and personal acknowledgement/thanks at that time. That being said, I recently went to a shower with about 40 guests that lasted over 3 hours. I'm so grateful I had friends to chat with or it would have been unbearably long and gift opening would have shaved 1/2 the time off that!
There is no excuse for the lack of a thank you, although I'm seeing it happen regularly. And my kids have missed a couple that I still feel guilty about, so I understand people get busy or life happens.
FWIW, I would always send a gift and not attend a shower that far away unless it was someone very close to me.
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Post by lucyg on May 7, 2019 23:54:24 GMT
Wayyyy back when I was a kid (it's been a couple years so my memory is a bit foggy ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/Q_m8lDOvc_3Le3r1GKdf.jpg) ) my mom and aunts threw a bridal shower for my cousin's wife-to-be. The couple was in the military and stationed in Germany. They requested that the gifts be brought unwrapped. The reason for this was that the bride/groom weren't going to be coming back to the US until right before the wedding and then after the wedding the would be stationed in the US. They were going to video tape the shower and mail it to the couple but weren't going to send the gifts (way expensive and pointless since they were coming back stateside anyhow), but they wanted the guests to be able to oooh and ahhh over the things. After (or perhaps during) the shower the gifts would be wrapped for the couple to open later. It was unusual, for sure, but I'm not sure it would actually be tacky as long as the guests were aware of the situation. Yes yes yes yes! Also... a not so way way way back example... My son went to visit his sister for New Years. I love wrapping presents so his entire carry on was stuffed with her wrapped Christmas presents. Of course the operator of the equipment mean to scan the contents of his bag didn't recognize some things, probably because they aren't normal carry on items. Anyway, my son was delayed and had to stand there while the TSA unwrapped all my daughters presents. Every damn last one of them. And he was mortified because some of them were gag gifts lol TSA doesn’t allow wrapped gifts in carry-ons. You’re supposed to wrap after arrival. Next time, you could put them in a suitcase and check it through.
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Post by maryland on May 8, 2019 1:51:07 GMT
I am the worst gift wrapper, and don't like spending money on gift wrap, so I would be thrilled with the request. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg) But that's just me, I can see why many think it's tacky. I haven't been to a shower in years, so I don't know what people are doing these days for showers.
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Post by maryland on May 8, 2019 1:53:03 GMT
I really love wrapping a present, so I'd be really disappointed if I were asked to bring my gift unwrapped. And I like watching them get unwrapped. But so many peas, a few of whom have beat me to this thread, have said they do NOT like that part of a shower, so I guess this request does not surprise me or bother me as much as some other requests we've talked about here. I think the clearly labelled part just means they want it labeled with who it's from (presumably for thank yous, but I see that's also a problem). Wedding thank you or no, I probably would not go 250 miles to a shower for anyone other than my sister. Nope, wait, I know I wouldn't. If I wanted to gift the mom-to-be, I'd probably just send a gift card to Target or wherever she's registered. She can put it towards a stroller or diapers or whatever. Can I borrow you at Christmas? ![:smile:](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/smiley.png) My wrapped gifts look like a 3 yr. old wrapped them! When we were kids, I would bribe my little brother to wrap my gifts for my parents for me! My mom is a great gift wrapper, and does fancy bows. It must skip generations, as my daughters don't like to wrap gifts either!
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Post by peasapie on May 8, 2019 1:53:29 GMT
I’m thoroughly bored with the opening of gifts at showers, so I’d be grateful if I didn’t have to sit through that. All the better not to have to wrap a gift. It’s much more fun to eat, chat and wish the honoree well.
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PLurker
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Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on May 8, 2019 2:20:40 GMT
Damn kids these days. Being all eco-friendly. ![;)](http://i60.tinypic.com/345mtc2.jpg) That's my thought , anyway. They are more aware of a lot things we never were. We should be aware of that. That being said, they could be aware that not everyone will be aware of the "why" and they could do a lot of good with a simple little explanation. A simple "for the love of the planet would you please......" Now back to read thread to see if I'm way off base.
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gina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,243
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:16 GMT
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Post by gina on May 8, 2019 2:32:55 GMT
Sorry. Not tacky here. I was just at a baby shower last month where everything was wrapped clear, and then the mom-to-be made an announcement that she'd rather spend her time mingling with her guests then opening gifts. Everyone clapped. lol Who the heck wants to sit through an hour+ of gift-opening? She did say if anyone brought something special they wanted to open with her, she'd be more than happy to. I don't think anyone took her up on that.
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PLurker
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Post by PLurker on May 8, 2019 2:37:52 GMT
Sorry. Not tacky here. I was just at a baby shower last month where everything was wrapped clear, and then the mom-to-be made an announcement that she'd rather spend her time mingling with her guests then opening gifts. Everyone clapped. lol Who the heck wants to sit through an hour+ of gift-opening? She did say if anyone brought something special they wanted to open with her, she'd be more than happy to. I don't think anyone took her up on that. never thought of that side of things but, yay! How long and boring is it to watch all those presents s l o w l y opened. Save the earth and my mind. Dual purpose!
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Deleted
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Jul 6, 2024 18:58:34 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2019 3:42:56 GMT
Well, I'm not. Why would anyone want to show off that they just received 3 toasters, sexy lingere and some new dishes? It's not like a guest can go scan the table and exchange their gift for something else at that moment. Seems pretty rude. Back in the 1960s the display of the wedding gifts was very much in style. In fact, the MOB was expected to put up a display table in her home and display all the gifts. Friends who brought a gift by were offered coffee or ? and looked at all the gifts already received. Bride was expected to open gift, exclaim over gift and add it to the display. Sometimes friends came by to examine what had been given. (Yes, life was simpler then and it was normal to have your nose in events.) ---at least this was the custom in our town when my older sisters were getting married.
I think that's kind of cool. What is it they say? Everything old is new again.
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Deleted
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Jul 6, 2024 18:58:34 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 8, 2019 3:48:23 GMT
Sorry. Not tacky here. I was just at a baby shower last month where everything was wrapped clear, and then the mom-to-be made an announcement that she'd rather spend her time mingling with her guests then opening gifts. Everyone clapped. lol Who the heck wants to sit through an hour+ of gift-opening? She did say if anyone brought something special they wanted to open with her, she'd be more than happy to. I don't think anyone took her up on that. If you're doing wrapped gifts, I like this idea too... unwrap the really exciting gifts in front of everyone and leave the boxes of diapers, packs of onesies or blankets to open later. There have been times I've made some really good gifts and wouldn't want to miss the "unveiling" of them.
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Post by 950nancy on May 8, 2019 4:20:35 GMT
Back in the 1960s the display of the wedding gifts was very much in style. In fact, the MOB was expected to put up a display table in her home and display all the gifts. Friends who brought a gift by were offered coffee or ? and looked at all the gifts already received. Bride was expected to open gift, exclaim over gift and add it to the display. Sometimes friends came by to examine what had been given. (Yes, life was simpler then and it was normal to have your nose in events.) ---at least this was the custom in our town when my older sisters were getting married.
I think that's kind of cool. What is it they say? Everything old is new again. My mom did that for my wedding gifts in the 80's. However the gifts were originally wrapped before they were displayed.
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Post by FuzzyMutt on May 8, 2019 17:21:52 GMT
Yes yes yes yes! Also... a not so way way way back example... My son went to visit his sister for New Years. I love wrapping presents so his entire carry on was stuffed with her wrapped Christmas presents. Of course the operator of the equipment mean to scan the contents of his bag didn't recognize some things, probably because they aren't normal carry on items. Anyway, my son was delayed and had to stand there while the TSA unwrapped all my daughters presents. Every damn last one of them. And he was mortified because some of them were gag gifts lol TSA doesn’t allow wrapped gifts in carry-ons. You’re supposed to wrap after arrival. Next time, you could put them in a suitcase and check it through. I didn't look it up before I sent him, but in the interests of sharing correct information TSA does not not allow wrapped gifts in carry-ons. They are using x-ray technology and the wrapping paper should be a non issue. No different than having a page of a magazine in there covering a pair of gloves. The problem lies in that if they cannot quickly open and identify it, they will require opening the bag and unwrapping it and that could be time consuming. Considering x-ray is my field this was a total non issue in my head.. but I'm sure the TSA doesn't see many inflatable rubber hippo dog toys going through their scanners. Oddly enough I had sent a beautiful lavender goats milk soap, wrapped in alpaca fiber (built in natural scrubby) and because my teen son was baffled as to what it was, they made him dispose of it. www.tsa.gov/news/releases/2017/12/11/tsa-shares-top-5-tips-get-you-through-end-year-holiday-travel
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scrappington
Pearl Clutcher
in Canada
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Jun 26, 2014 14:43:10 GMT
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Post by scrappington on May 8, 2019 18:59:47 GMT
I agree with the unwrapped. My cousin's shower. We all just kinda left her in a room unwrapping. It got really boring really fast. It was hrs.
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Post by Miss Lerins Momma on May 8, 2019 19:15:39 GMT
I’m going to say Not Tacky.
Less waste. Maybe they are earth conscious?
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Post by Tearisci on May 8, 2019 19:20:14 GMT
At least they didn't ask for the gift receipt to be firmly attached as well
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Post by lucyg on May 8, 2019 19:32:37 GMT
TSA doesn’t allow wrapped gifts in carry-ons. You’re supposed to wrap after arrival. Next time, you could put them in a suitcase and check it through. I didn't look it up before I sent him, but in the interests of sharing correct information TSA does not not allow wrapped gifts in carry-ons. They are using x-ray technology and the wrapping paper should be a non issue. No different than having a page of a magazine in there covering a pair of gloves. The problem lies in that if they cannot quickly open and identify it, they will require opening the bag and unwrapping it and that could be time consuming. Considering x-ray is my field this was a total non issue in my head.. but I'm sure the TSA doesn't see many inflatable rubber hippo dog toys going through their scanners. Oddly enough I had sent a beautiful lavender goats milk soap, wrapped in alpaca fiber (built in natural scrubby) and because my teen son was baffled as to what it was, they made him dispose of it. www.tsa.gov/news/releases/2017/12/11/tsa-shares-top-5-tips-get-you-through-end-year-holiday-travelOkay, thanks for the correction. They do allow carrying on wrapped gifts. Seems they still recommend you don’t.
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Post by pastlifepea on May 8, 2019 23:00:32 GMT
Tacky! I’m just enough of a rebel to do it the old fashioned way, and wrap it. I was thinking that I'd leave it unwrapped as requested but attach an 8x10 sheet of paper with the word "GIFT" printed largely on it. Then again, I'm a snarky B like that.
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 9, 2019 3:49:15 GMT
TSA doesn’t allow wrapped gifts in carry-ons. You’re supposed to wrap after arrival. Next time, you could put them in a suitcase and check it through. I’ve had wrapped gifts inside my checked bag unwrapped too. Once I was attending a trade show over Valentine’s Day. DH had wrapped up a big heart shaped box of chocolates in brown paper wrapping and hid it inside my checked bag between my clothes before I left so I would find it upon arrival. The TSA rifled through my bag and found it, completely unwrapped it and left the mangled mess on top of my clothes inside my bag with the stupid printed thing saying they went through my stuff laying on top! It was so rude and totally ruined my surprise. ![](http://i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r481/2peasrefugees/Smilies/flamingmad.gif) ![](http://i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r481/2peasrefugees/Smilies/censored.gif)
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julieb
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Jul 3, 2014 16:02:54 GMT
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Post by julieb on May 9, 2019 4:10:39 GMT
My dd's wedding shower was a "display shower". It was perfect. No one had to sit and watch all the gifts being opened. Everyone mingled, ate, drank wine and enjoyed a lovely evening. The gifts were put on a table with a basket of tags to write a note on and attach to the gift. Everyone (except my sister) thought it was a great idea.
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Post by MsChiff on May 9, 2019 4:16:43 GMT
I was invited to a baby shower that requested the gifts not be wrapped. My first thought was that the guest of honor is L-A-Z-Y. She clearly expected people to take the time to shop for a gift for her soon-to-be baby but she couldn't be bothered to unwrap the gifts, much less send a thank you note. Needless to say, if she's too lazy to unwrap my gift, I'm too lazy to buy her a gift and deliver it to the shower, much less get dressed up and spend my time making small talk when I could be doing something I actually enjoy.
I think I'd be OK with the guest-of-honor stating they would rather spend time socializing with ALL their guests rather than opening gifts while give the guests the option of seeing them open their gift. I sometimes give special/great/unique gifts and enjoy seeing the recipient open them. Standard, run-of-the-mill gifts, not so much.
If the reason you don't want to open your gifts at the shower is because it will take too long, you're inviting too many people to the shower. I had a friend that probably had 80-100 people at her bridal shower. WAY too many for a shower; she should have had several small showers, or one small shower if nobody else would give her one.
I can't help but wonder if these "eco-conscious people" also insist that their Christmas and Birthday gifts be unwrapped...and, of course, no cards necessary for any reason...
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