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Post by busy on May 7, 2019 1:37:35 GMT
A lot of guests hate watching endless gifts being opened and would rather socialize. 🤷♀️
I vote a non-issue. Never receiving a thank you for your wedding gift is rude, though
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NoWomanNoCry
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on May 7, 2019 1:40:41 GMT
Doesn’t bother me.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on May 7, 2019 1:42:09 GMT
I really love wrapping a present, so I'd be really disappointed if I were asked to bring my gift unwrapped. And I like watching them get unwrapped. But so many peas, a few of whom have beat me to this thread, have said they do NOT like that part of a shower, so I guess this request does not surprise me or bother me as much as some other requests we've talked about here.
I think the clearly labelled part just means they want it labeled with who it's from (presumably for thank yous, but I see that's also a problem).
Wedding thank you or no, I probably would not go 250 miles to a shower for anyone other than my sister. Nope, wait, I know I wouldn't. If I wanted to gift the mom-to-be, I'd probably just send a gift card to Target or wherever she's registered. She can put it towards a stroller or diapers or whatever.
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seaexplore
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Post by seaexplore on May 7, 2019 2:20:00 GMT
Maybe the host home has limited garbage capacity ( I know we do) and can't get the wrapping paper into the trash can. I like to use just plain brown kraft paper off the roll to wrap with and add tulle in bright fun colors. The kraft paper can be recycled.
I really like the idea of not wrapping gifts, I'm 45 years old. Been thru 2 baby showers where I was the center of attention and I did NOT enjoy it. I much rather visit with my guests. Saves me the time to unwrap them, I can meet the guests at the door and thank them individually for their gift as they come in (and follow up with a proper thank you card in the mail).
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Post by scrapmaven on May 7, 2019 2:37:17 GMT
The best way to get what you don't want is to give me instructions about the gift that I'm graciously giving you. What ever happened to, "thank you"?
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Post by frenchie on May 7, 2019 2:37:26 GMT
Someone I know was just invited to a bridal shower that did this. The reasoning was that the family (and therefore the guest list) was large and the bride preferred to spend the time socializing with her guests than unwrapping gifts for the allotted time frame. I'm going to one this Saturday and that's the exact explanation we were given.
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Deleted
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Jul 6, 2024 18:34:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2019 2:38:55 GMT
I have a new policy. No thank you for the wedding gift = no baby shower gift. As for wrapping, could they be environmentally conscious and not want to waste all that paper or bags? I would be concerned that I was punishing them for their thank you being lost in the mail or something out of their control. I'm more willing to give them another chance. First time could be an oops, second time is a pattern.
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Post by crittsmom on May 7, 2019 2:47:31 GMT
don't buy the carbon footprints, you could wrap a present in a baby blanket, hooded towel etc. Or give in a reusable shopping bag, even if its from Target. She did receive the invite through snail mail pretty much carbon footprint waste there. I do agree with the no thank you note though, I wish I had enough guts not to send a shower present. If I took time to find a nice present and come to your celebration then take 5 minutes to send a thank you note.
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Post by leftturnonly on May 7, 2019 2:48:27 GMT
Someone I know was just invited to a bridal shower that did this. The reasoning was that the family (and therefore the guest list) was large and the bride preferred to spend the time socializing with her guests than unwrapping gifts for the allotted time frame. of surgery to have it removed from her stomach) so for a long time all gift wrap & ribbon/raffia etc was banned at my house too. Those are both reasonable reasons to request unwrapped gifts (or gifts wrapped in newspaper or dish towels, etc). Why not just be direct in the invitation with the why the request was made?
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Post by 950nancy on May 7, 2019 2:52:51 GMT
I have a new policy. No thank you for the wedding gift = no baby shower gift. As for wrapping, could they be environmentally conscious and not want to waste all that paper or bags? I would be concerned that I was punishing them for their thank you being lost in the mail or something out of their control. I'm more willing to give them another chance. First time could be an oops, second time is a pattern. I used to think that, but I would say maybe 75% of my thank-you notes have gotten lost in the mail.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on May 7, 2019 2:58:31 GMT
Did I mention that I never got a thank you note for the wedding gift? My rule of thumb is that if they can't be bothered to send a thank you for a wedding gift, I can't be bothered to send gifts for any future children.
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 7, 2019 3:00:06 GMT
I’d be ticked about not getting a thank you for the wedding gift, and since it’s so far away I would probably just politely decline.
I too generally like wrapping gifts with paper and making them pretty, but lately I’ve decided to start using up the HUGE hoard of gift bags I’ve saved from DD’s past birthdays instead. I’d say probably 98% of them are still in pristine condition after she has taken her gift out so I can’t reconcile just throwing them in the trash when they can be reused.
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seaexplore
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Post by seaexplore on May 7, 2019 3:11:20 GMT
don't buy the carbon footprints, you could wrap a present in a baby blanket, hooded towel etc. Or give in a reusable shopping bag, even if its from Target. She did receive the invite through snail mail pretty much carbon footprint waste there. I do agree with the no thank you note though, I wish I had enough guts not to send a shower present. If I took time to find a nice present and come to your celebration then take 5 minutes to send a thank you note. I'm stealing the wrap in a baby blanket or hooded towel idea! That's awesome! AND SOOOO CUTE!
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Deleted
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Jul 6, 2024 18:34:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2019 3:31:40 GMT
I would be concerned that I was punishing them for their thank you being lost in the mail or something out of their control. I'm more willing to give them another chance. First time could be an oops, second time is a pattern. I used to think that, but I would say maybe 75% of my thank-you notes have gotten lost in the mail. I get that, I do. I'd just always be thinking that the one that actually did get lost in the mail is now wondering why we're snubbing her and her baby shower since she has no idea that we never got the thank you. And without questioning everyone who "owes" you a thank you note... you just never know.
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Deleted
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Jul 6, 2024 18:34:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2019 5:14:56 GMT
IMO go with tacky, mostly because of the lack of a thank you note.
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kibblesandbits
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Post by kibblesandbits on May 7, 2019 11:41:29 GMT
I love a good party but even I wouldn't drive 250 miles for a baby shower. Hit the registry and have something sent.
I held a baby shower for my DIL in conjunction with her side of the family. Hosted at my home, invitation list was pushing almost 80 people. We included the registry in the invitations, as well as the gentle suggestion of "wrapping not required". In the end, we had close to 50 people and DIL made a valiant attempt to unwrap and show all gifts. There were so many people in attendance that literally no one was paying attention to her unwrapping, they were all socializing. She could have been socializing too, but she was following some old-time idea that everyone wants to see her unwrap. After 10 gifts, I enlisted her mom and we swiftly unwrapped the rest and made a quick display so that the guest of honor could actually enjoy her own shower.
Something to think about.
I dunno about the thank you card. I try not to get pissy about that, but I certainly do remember who doesn't send them. Frustrating, but I guess that's on them. I did the right thing, I can't force them to.
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Post by auntkelly on May 7, 2019 12:01:54 GMT
I think it’s tacky to invite someone to a baby shower who lives 250 miles away unless they are very close friends or close family members. I would just ignore the invite, especially if they didn’t send a thank you for the wedding gift.
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amom23
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Post by amom23 on May 7, 2019 12:41:11 GMT
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Post by mellowyellow on May 7, 2019 12:48:52 GMT
I have a new policy. No thank you for the wedding gift = no baby shower gift. As for wrapping, could they be environmentally conscious and not want to waste all that paper or bags? This is me too and it just happened last month. Gave a wedding gift 5 years ago and no thank you was sent. Now she is pregnant with her first baby. I got invited to 2 showers two weekends in a row. Declined both of them and will not be getting a gift. This is also the couple that will come to our graduations/birthday parties, etc and will bring no gifts at all. I don't feel one bit bad about not getting them anything else.
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Post by ShesaRenegade on May 7, 2019 12:50:08 GMT
Maybe they're being conscious of their carbon footprint and don't want the wasted paper? I don't know. That's all I've got. This was my first thought, too.
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 7, 2019 13:48:03 GMT
Maybe they're being conscious of their carbon footprint and don't want the wasted paper? I don't know. That's all I've got. This was my first thought, too. But then why send a paper invitation through the mail when email or evite would be so much greener? The evites we have gotten (and sent) are just as cute as the printed invitations that are mailed. For that reason it doesn’t pass the sniff test to me. I’m guessing it’s because they invited everyone under the sun and she simply doesn’t want to waste the time unwrapping everything.
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Post by FuzzyMutt on May 7, 2019 14:09:07 GMT
Wayyyy back when I was a kid (it's been a couple years so my memory is a bit foggy ![;)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/Q_m8lDOvc_3Le3r1GKdf.jpg) ) my mom and aunts threw a bridal shower for my cousin's wife-to-be. The couple was in the military and stationed in Germany. They requested that the gifts be brought unwrapped. The reason for this was that the bride/groom weren't going to be coming back to the US until right before the wedding and then after the wedding the would be stationed in the US. They were going to video tape the shower and mail it to the couple but weren't going to send the gifts (way expensive and pointless since they were coming back stateside anyhow), but they wanted the guests to be able to oooh and ahhh over the things. After (or perhaps during) the shower the gifts would be wrapped for the couple to open later. It was unusual, for sure, but I'm not sure it would actually be tacky as long as the guests were aware of the situation. Yes yes yes yes! Also... a not so way way way back example... My son went to visit his sister for New Years. I love wrapping presents so his entire carry on was stuffed with her wrapped Christmas presents. Of course the operator of the equipment mean to scan the contents of his bag didn't recognize some things, probably because they aren't normal carry on items. Anyway, my son was delayed and had to stand there while the TSA unwrapped all my daughters presents. Every damn last one of them. And he was mortified because some of them were gag gifts lol
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Post by librarylady on May 7, 2019 14:24:17 GMT
I’m familiar with a display shower for a wedding... Well, I'm not. Why would anyone want to show off that they just received 3 toasters, sexy lingere and some new dishes? It's not like a guest can go scan the table and exchange their gift for something else at that moment. Seems pretty rude. Back in the 1960s the display of the wedding gifts was very much in style. In fact, the MOB was expected to put up a display table in her home and display all the gifts. Friends who brought a gift by were offered coffee or ? and looked at all the gifts already received. Bride was expected to open gift, exclaim over gift and add it to the display. Sometimes friends came by to examine what had been given. (Yes, life was simpler then and it was normal to have your nose in events.) ---at least this was the custom in our town when my older sisters were getting married.
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Just T
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Post by Just T on May 7, 2019 14:38:26 GMT
This was my first thought, too. But then why send a paper invitation through the mail when email or evite would be so much greener? The evites we have gotten (and sent) are just as cute as the printed invitations that are mailed. For that reason it doesn’t pass the sniff test to me. I’m guessing it’s because they invited everyone under the sun and she simply doesn’t want to waste the time unwrapping everything. Because then people would be complaining about how tacky it is to send an evite. ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg) There are tacky invite threads here all the time.
People can't win these days.
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TXMary
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Post by TXMary on May 7, 2019 14:44:10 GMT
I absolutely suck at gift wrapping so I would be happy about that part. The no thank you note for the wedding gift would have me seriously considering if I even wanted to attend or buy a gift for the baby shower.
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Post by utmr on May 7, 2019 14:45:26 GMT
Well, I'm not. Why would anyone want to show off that they just received 3 toasters, sexy lingere and some new dishes? It's not like a guest can go scan the table and exchange their gift for something else at that moment. Seems pretty rude. Back in the 1960s the display of the wedding gifts was very much in style. In fact, the MOB was expected to put up a display table in her home and display all the gifts. Friends who brought a gift by were offered coffee or ? and looked at all the gifts already received. Bride was expected to open gift, exclaim over gift and add it to the display. Sometimes friends came by to examine what had been given. (Yes, life was simpler then and it was normal to have your nose in events.) ---at least this was the custom in our town when my older sisters were getting married.
Definitely an old school custom, small towns, big weddings where the entire town is invited. Also duplicate gifts are not shown, just one of the toasters and the rest hidden. Checks are under glass with the amounts covered, so only the signature shows.
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Post by bc2ca on May 7, 2019 14:51:52 GMT
I just received a baby shower invitation. Properly printed, in the snail mail, not by Facebook or via text. Hosted by a college friend of the mom at the home of a family friend, not hosted by a relative. Invitation arrived nearly a. month in advance of the date. So far so good. Until I get to the back “Please bring your gift Unwrapped and Clearly Labeled” (Capitalizations as shown). I’m familiar with a display shower for a wedding, but it seems odd for a baby shower. You’re having that many people that you don’t have time or interest in unwrapping your gifts? Seems gift grabby, right? I’m just being a grumpy, middle aged, pearl clutcher, right? Some more facts: I still haven’t received a thank you note for the wedding gift. The shower is 250 miles away in my hometown. There’s a lot of other behind-the-scenes drama. I’m just disgusted and frustrated. IMHO, you are letting your disgust and frustration color your reaction to their request for unwrapped and labeled gifts. I don't see this as gift grabby at all. By definition, isn't a shower is an invitation to give a gift? Asking them to be unwrapped doesn't make them easier to return. That request is either because they want to reduce the gift wrap waste or refocus the event from opening presents to visiting with family and friends. The request to clearly label things makes me wonder if wedding gifts were separated from cards and tags as they were unwrapped so the couple doesn't know who gave what?
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Post by utmr on May 7, 2019 14:53:36 GMT
The invitation is lovely, mainly I'm chapped about the no-thank-you-note side of the equation.
I suspect that they invited everyone the bride has ever known, hence the invitations to people living far away. The large number of invitees leads to the need to have an unwrapped display-type shower, just so that it is not three solid hours of gift opening.
In that regard, it makes it seem like less of an intimate "celebrate with our dear friend" and results in the gift grabby feel.
I texted my decline last night and got a cheerful "Thank you!" back this morning. So the hostess has some manners.
There's more back story too. The MOB and I used to be good friends, until she ended our friendship in a vicious public manner. I tried to keep her kids out of it. I've known them their whole lives and I'm so hurt that my former friend has deprived me of enjoying this event.
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Post by utmr on May 7, 2019 14:54:53 GMT
I just received a baby shower invitation. Properly printed, in the snail mail, not by Facebook or via text. Hosted by a college friend of the mom at the home of a family friend, not hosted by a relative. Invitation arrived nearly a. month in advance of the date. So far so good. Until I get to the back “Please bring your gift Unwrapped and Clearly Labeled” (Capitalizations as shown). I’m familiar with a display shower for a wedding, but it seems odd for a baby shower. You’re having that many people that you don’t have time or interest in unwrapping your gifts? Seems gift grabby, right? I’m just being a grumpy, middle aged, pearl clutcher, right? Some more facts: I still haven’t received a thank you note for the wedding gift. The shower is 250 miles away in my hometown. There’s a lot of other behind-the-scenes drama. I’m just disgusted and frustrated. IMHO, you are letting your disgust and frustration color your reaction to their request for unwrapped and labeled gifts. I don't see this as gift grabby at all. By definition, isn't a shower is an invitation to give a gift? Asking them to be unwrapped doesn't make them easier to return. That request is either because they want to reduce the gift wrap waste or refocus the event from opening presents to visiting with family and friends. The request to clearly label things makes me wonder if wedding gifts were separated from cards and tags as they were unwrapped so the couple doesn't know who gave what? You're right. The more I think about it, the more I realize that it is my anger coloring my perception. Best that I stay home.
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Post by Basket1lady on May 7, 2019 15:26:04 GMT
Well, I'm not. Why would anyone want to show off that they just received 3 toasters, sexy lingere and some new dishes? It's not like a guest can go scan the table and exchange their gift for something else at that moment. Seems pretty rude. Back in the 1960s the display of the wedding gifts was very much in style. In fact, the MOB was expected to put up a display table in her home and display all the gifts. Friends who brought a gift by were offered coffee or ? and looked at all the gifts already received. Bride was expected to open gift, exclaim over gift and add it to the display. Sometimes friends came by to examine what had been given. (Yes, life was simpler then and it was normal to have your nose in events.) ---at least this was the custom in our town when my older sisters were getting married.
I can remember discussing this with my parents, telling that this was old fashioned and I didn’t want to do this!
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