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Post by utmr on May 7, 2019 0:11:04 GMT
I just received a baby shower invitation. Properly printed, in the snail mail, not by Facebook or via text. Hosted by a college friend of the mom at the home of a family friend, not hosted by a relative. Invitation arrived nearly a. month in advance of the date. So far so good.
Until I get to the back “Please bring your gift Unwrapped and Clearly Labeled” (Capitalizations as shown).
I’m familiar with a display shower for a wedding, but it seems odd for a baby shower. You’re having that many people that you don’t have time or interest in unwrapping your gifts? Seems gift grabby, right?
I’m just being a grumpy, middle aged, pearl clutcher, right?
Some more facts: I still haven’t received a thank you note for the wedding gift. The shower is 250 miles away in my hometown. There’s a lot of other behind-the-scenes drama. I’m just disgusted and frustrated.
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Post by teacherlisa on May 7, 2019 0:23:12 GMT
I vote tacky.
I don't attend a lot of showers or weddings, but I have not heard of a display shower period lol.
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Post by KikiPea on May 7, 2019 0:26:44 GMT
I agree with tacky, BUT, no shower is a gift grab. That is the entire purpose of a shower.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jul 4, 2024 4:03:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 7, 2019 0:26:52 GMT
I would have to stop myself from responding with my RSVP and asking the question if they are planning to donate the gifts or just head straight for the return lane because having them unwrapped and labeled seems like an unusual request if they are planning to keep them
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Post by Merge on May 7, 2019 0:30:01 GMT
Maybe they're being conscious of their carbon footprint and don't want the wasted paper? I don't know. That's all I've got.
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Post by padresfan619 on May 7, 2019 0:33:56 GMT
Not tacky.
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Post by Basket1lady on May 7, 2019 0:34:49 GMT
I don’t know that I would call it tacky. I agree—the whole point of a shower is to give gifts. Well, and to honor the mom and new baby. I enjoy wrapping gifts and making them pretty, but these days most people just use a gift bag. And if they use gift wrap, a lot of it can’t be recycled. According to the inter webs, this is an attempt to make the shower more eco friendly and to save guests the hour or so of agony watching the new mom (who may not want to be the center of attention for that long) open gifts.
I’m long past the pregnancy/baby season of life, so if this is the new thing, eh. I’d be more riled about the lack of a thank you.
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Post by cindyupnorth on May 7, 2019 0:36:03 GMT
I've never heard of that before? what's the purpose? Also, isn't that the purpose of a shower? for gifts? Ha
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Post by lucyg on May 7, 2019 0:37:05 GMT
If it’s to be less wasteful, they could make that clear. I don’t like anything on an invitation that sounds like an order instead of an invitation.
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Post by utmr on May 7, 2019 0:37:43 GMT
I would have to stop myself from responding with my RSVP and asking the question if they are planning to donate the gifts or just head straight for the return lane because having them unwrapped and labeled seems like an unusual request if they are planning to keep them And one other thing, the shower is 250 miles from me, in my hometown. The mom-to-be lives over 500 miles away from hometown. If there are so many gifts that she can’t unwrap them, is she planning to load them into her car and drive home? I think you’re right, they are going to go straight back to the store. Did I mention that I never got a thank you note for the wedding gift? |
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,512 
Location: Central Pennsylvania
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Post by MorningPerson on May 7, 2019 0:38:33 GMT
My first thought was "tacky."
But like others, it occurred to me that maybe they're doing their part to be eco-responsible, which is nice. They probably could have mentioned that though, so people don't think it's just tacky.
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Post by utmr on May 7, 2019 0:39:38 GMT
Maybe they're being conscious of their carbon footprint and don't want the wasted paper? I don't know. That's all I've got. I think I am going to be conscious of my carbon footprint and just email my decline. |
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Post by Merge on May 7, 2019 0:42:14 GMT
Maybe they're being conscious of their carbon footprint and don't want the wasted paper? I don't know. That's all I've got. I think I am going to be conscious of my carbon footprint and just email my decline. 😂 Don't waste the gas! |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,587
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Post by Just T on May 7, 2019 0:45:23 GMT
I dunno.
I'm going to try really hard to not judge the way my children's generation does things as I remember quite well my mother and her sisters judging the way I did things that didn't quite mesh with their idea of proper etiquette.
Things change. Social norms change. We can either adapt or choose to be offended by every little thing. Perhaps the honoree doesn't like the waste that comes with piles of chemical laden wrapping paper. Really, does it reduce your enjoyment of giving a gift to a mom to be because she won't sit there and tear off piles of wrapping paper that will be stuffed into a plastic trash bag?
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Post by leftturnonly on May 7, 2019 0:45:47 GMT
I’m familiar with a display shower for a wedding... Well, I'm not. Why would anyone want to show off that they just received 3 toasters, sexy lingere and some new dishes? It's not like a guest can go scan the table and exchange their gift for something else at that moment. Seems pretty rude. |
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Post by KikiPea on May 7, 2019 0:48:56 GMT
I think you’re right, they are going to go straight back to the store. Huh? Whether or not they are wrapped has absolutely nothing to do with them taking them back. They can still do that after spending time unwrapping them. It IS rude that they did not send thank you note for their wedding gift. All gifts, wrapped or not, should all receive thank you notes. |
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Post by myshelly on May 7, 2019 0:51:08 GMT
Here’s the thing that I never understand.
The whole purpose - the only purpose - of any shower is to get gifts. That’s it.
So why is one shower any more gift grabby than another?
The only difference is that at this shower you don’t have to wrap your gift. That seems like *less* work for you, so why is it something to complain about?
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on May 7, 2019 0:53:03 GMT
Wayyyy back when I was a kid (it's been a couple years so my memory is a bit foggy  ) my mom and aunts threw a bridal shower for my cousin's wife-to-be. The couple was in the military and stationed in Germany. They requested that the gifts be brought unwrapped. The reason for this was that the bride/groom weren't going to be coming back to the US until right before the wedding and then after the wedding the would be stationed in the US. They were going to video tape the shower and mail it to the couple but weren't going to send the gifts (way expensive and pointless since they were coming back stateside anyhow), but they wanted the guests to be able to oooh and ahhh over the things. After (or perhaps during) the shower the gifts would be wrapped for the couple to open later. It was unusual, for sure, but I'm not sure it would actually be tacky as long as the guests were aware of the situation. |
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Post by allison1954 on May 7, 2019 0:55:37 GMT
I rather prefer this actually. Let’s keep it moving people. Some bigger showers it takes forever to get the gifts unwrapped.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on May 7, 2019 0:58:06 GMT
It could be that they don’t want the waste of the wrapping. (Or to add to the expense!)
I’ve encountered this before.
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Post by padresfan619 on May 7, 2019 1:01:50 GMT
I recently went to a baby shower where there were 70 guests. I would have *loved* if all of the gifts were unwrapped and displayed so I could have left after an hour or two. My weekend time is limited, please make these events shorter!
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Post by 950nancy on May 7, 2019 1:05:24 GMT
I dunno.
I'm going to try really hard to not judge the way my children's generation does things as I remember quite well my mother and her sisters judging the way I did things that didn't quite mesh with their idea of proper etiquette.
Things change. Social norms change. We can either adapt or choose to be offended by every little thing. Perhaps the honoree doesn't like the waste that comes with piles of chemical laden wrapping paper. Really, does it reduce your enjoyment of giving a gift to a mom to be because she won't sit there and tear off piles of wrapping paper that will be stuffed into a plastic trash bag?
Sitting with you on this bench. Things change. People like doing things differently. My mom was very aware of etiquette and followed it as much as possible. There were things we did for my wedding (32 years ago) that I thought were a little over the top, but my folks paid for it and I was thankful for that. I did what she wanted and was happy to make her happy. Now things are different and I do not want to sit on my porch waving my fist at the young 'uns. My son's gf is in her young 20's and I enjoy seeing things from her point of view. Sometimes she laughs at how I did things and I do the same. But mostly we meet in the middle and just agree we were growing up in different times and that's perfectly normal. I would be a little miffed at the lack of my wedding gift being acknowledged (however they wanted to say thanks), and I might think it was a gift grab if I didn't know them well and living that far away does seem a bit grabby. Yes, showers are for gifts, but inviting someone (not family or close friend) to a shower you know they probably can't go to sounds like you are wanting them to send you a gift or money.  |
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Post by pjaye on May 7, 2019 1:13:05 GMT
“Please bring your gift Unwrapped and Clearly Labeled” I hate gift wrap - it's such a waste! Expensive and people rip it off and it goes into the trash, total waste of money and also of paper. I also owned a cat in the past that would try to eat any ribbon etc ($2000 of surgery to have it removed from her stomach) so for a long time all gift wrap & ribbon/raffia etc was banned at my house too. One of my friends would wrap things in newspaper, another in a tea towel. So it is possible she wants to save you the expense of gift wrap and cards and also stop the waste of those things. Looking at it from that perspective makes it not tacky, but instead considerate of you and the environment. |
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,775
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Post by scrapngranny on May 7, 2019 1:14:16 GMT
Tacky! I’m just enough of a rebel to do it the old fashioned way, and wrap it.
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,968
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Post by AnotherPea on May 7, 2019 1:14:28 GMT
I dunno.
I'm going to try really hard to not judge the way my children's generation does things as I remember quite well my mother and her sisters judging the way I did things that didn't quite mesh with their idea of proper etiquette.
Things change. Social norms change. We can either adapt or choose to be offended by every little thing. Perhaps the honoree doesn't like the waste that comes with piles of chemical laden wrapping paper. Really, does it reduce your enjoyment of giving a gift to a mom to be because she won't sit there and tear off piles of wrapping paper that will be stuffed into a plastic trash bag?
Sitting with you on this bench. Things change. People like doing things differently. My mom was very aware of etiquette and followed it as much as possible. There were things we did for my wedding (32 years ago) that I thought were a little over the top, but my folks paid for it and I was thankful for that. I did what she wanted and was happy to make her happy. Now things are different and I do not want to sit on my porch waving my fist at the young 'uns. My son's gf is in her young 20's and I enjoy seeing things from her point of view. Sometimes she laughs at how I did things and I do the same. But mostly we meet in the middle and just agree we were growing up in different times and that's perfectly normal. I would be a little miffed at the lack of my wedding gift being acknowledged (however they wanted to say thanks), and I might think it was a gift grab if I didn't know them well and living that far away does seem a bit grabby. Yes, showers are for gifts, but inviting someone (not family or close friend) to a shower you know they probably can't go to sounds like you are wanting them to send you a gift or money. View AttachmentOr that you want them to feel included. |
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Post by 950nancy on May 7, 2019 1:16:47 GMT
Sitting with you on this bench. Things change. People like doing things differently. My mom was very aware of etiquette and followed it as much as possible. There were things we did for my wedding (32 years ago) that I thought were a little over the top, but my folks paid for it and I was thankful for that. I did what she wanted and was happy to make her happy. Now things are different and I do not want to sit on my porch waving my fist at the young 'uns. My son's gf is in her young 20's and I enjoy seeing things from her point of view. Sometimes she laughs at how I did things and I do the same. But mostly we meet in the middle and just agree we were growing up in different times and that's perfectly normal. I would be a little miffed at the lack of my wedding gift being acknowledged (however they wanted to say thanks), and I might think it was a gift grab if I didn't know them well and living that far away does seem a bit grabby. Yes, showers are for gifts, but inviting someone (not family or close friend) to a shower you know they probably can't go to sounds like you are wanting them to send you a gift or money. Or that you want them to feel included. I don't feel that way. (I don't love showers though.) Include me if I am a close friend or family if I live that far away. If you can't tell me thank you for something, I probably don't want to send you something else. |
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Post by Tamhugh on May 7, 2019 1:25:42 GMT
Someone I know was just invited to a bridal shower that did this. The reasoning was that the family (and therefore the guest list) was large and the bride preferred to spend the time socializing with her guests than unwrapping gifts for the allotted time frame.
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Post by mikklynn on May 7, 2019 1:29:59 GMT
If it’s to be less wasteful, they could make that clear. I don’t like anything on an invitation that sounds like an order instead of an invitation. I agree. My niece's bridal shower asked for gift cards, but explained she was in medical school out of state. With the explanation, I did not find it tacky. |
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Post by lisae on May 7, 2019 1:31:17 GMT
I have a new policy. No thank you for the wedding gift = no baby shower gift.
As for wrapping, could they be environmentally conscious and not want to waste all that paper or bags?
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Post by littlemama on May 7, 2019 1:34:19 GMT
I went to a bridal shower and a baby shower (for the same person at different times) where the bridal attendants/ friends opened the gifts and the bride/mom-to-be held them up and said what they were. It made the (weeknight) shower go much faster, but I didnt wrap the gift for a friend of my friend. It was weird to me. They could have dumped the games and let the guest of honor open the gifts.
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) my mom and aunts threw a bridal shower for my cousin's wife-to-be. The couple was in the military and stationed in Germany. They requested that the gifts be brought unwrapped. The reason for this was that the bride/groom weren't going to be coming back to the US until right before the wedding and then after the wedding the would be stationed in the US. They were going to video tape the shower and mail it to the couple but weren't going to send the gifts (way expensive and pointless since they were coming back stateside anyhow), but they wanted the guests to be able to oooh and ahhh over the things. After (or perhaps during) the shower the gifts would be wrapped for the couple to open later.
