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Post by stampbooker on Aug 22, 2019 22:54:00 GMT
I am going through a little slump of self confidence, so I had the idea to book a photo shoot and get some good photos to make me feel better. I had the idea that having a good photographer who could pose me and take some good photos would be a boost.
Unfortunately I don't really like the photos very much. The package came with 10 images and there are a only about a couple that I feel like are okay. Several of them I don't like the posing very much, some of them I don't like my hair (my bangs are parted in a weird way that I don't like) and some I don't like the expression on my face. So instead of feeling better, I feel worse!
A couple years ago I lost 70 pounds and then I have lost another 20 over the past year. I really still have about 30 to go. Although I have lost all that weight, for some reason I feel fatter than ever. I also don't like the way my face looks anymore.
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Post by dewryce on Aug 22, 2019 22:57:38 GMT
I’m sorry you are disappointed with the photos, what a let down! Do you think it was the photographer? Did y’all mesh and share a vision? Was she aware why you were doing this? I’m disappointed for you!
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DEX
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by DEX on Aug 22, 2019 23:57:19 GMT
I am going through a little slump of self confidence, so I had the idea to book a photo shoot and get some good photos to make me feel better. I had the idea that having a good photographer who could pose me and take some good photos would be a boost.
Unfortunately I don't really like the photos very much. The package came with 10 images and there are a only about a couple that I feel like are okay. Several of them I don't like the posing very much, some of them I don't like my hair (my bangs are parted in a weird way that I don't like) and some I don't like the expression on my face. So instead of feeling better, I feel worse!
A couple years ago I lost 70 pounds and then I have lost another 20 over the past year. I really still have about 30 to go. Although I have lost all that weight, for some reason I feel fatter than ever. I also don't like the way my face looks anymore.
I am sure you are being too hard on yourself. I remember a quote I saw years ago. It was something like, “I wish I was the weight now as the first time I thought I was fat”. In other words looking back at yourself you would say you were prettier and slimmer. In the future you will look at those pictures and think, “I was pretty hot then”. Congrats on the the weight loss. Enjoy how you look right now. I am sure you are beautiful! |
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Deleted
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Sept 28, 2024 23:41:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2019 0:05:53 GMT
I am going through a little slump of self confidence, so I had the idea to book a photo shoot and get some good photos to make me feel better. I had the idea that having a good photographer who could pose me and take some good photos would be a boost.
Unfortunately I don't really like the photos very much. The package came with 10 images and there are a only about a couple that I feel like are okay. Several of them I don't like the posing very much, some of them I don't like my hair (my bangs are parted in a weird way that I don't like) and some I don't like the expression on my face. So instead of feeling better, I feel worse!
A couple years ago I lost 70 pounds and then I have lost another 20 over the past year. I really still have about 30 to go. Although I have lost all that weight, for some reason I feel fatter than ever. I also don't like the way my face looks anymore.
Very few people like the way they look in any photo unless they are seeing themselves OFTEN in photos... reason being we are used to seeing ourselves in a mirror which is a reverse image while a photo is the way we look. Also we tend to "dissect" our looks. Does our eye make up look right? Does our hair look smooth/curly or whatever. We rarely look at the big picture so to speak. For a self confidence boost write about hard things you have gotten through, like losing 70 pounds! That is no easy feat! Boost yourself by what you have accomplished instead of how you look, which for most women will never ever be good enough. |
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,535
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Post by RosieKat on Aug 23, 2019 0:09:03 GMT
I'm so sorry, that has to be frustrating and demoralizing. I agree with what voltagain suggests - I know I'm always self-critical of appearance, but not about my accomplishments, even small ones. |
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Post by elaine on Aug 23, 2019 0:33:05 GMT
I’m so sorry. What a let down.  Is there something that you can do that makes you feel good and doesn’t depend on anyone else? Make something? Help someone/volunteer? Do something that makes you feel strong, useful, caring? Something that focuses on all the good that is inside of you? (((Hugs))) |
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Post by Delta Dawn on Aug 23, 2019 0:37:21 GMT
Are you into makeup? Yes? Call Sephora and book a makeover. It’s $50 or just get some nice shampoo and conditioner and you’ll have them for the future. They will show you how to highlight your eyes or make your top lip look pretty or whatever. That’s what I would do.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Aug 23, 2019 0:44:28 GMT
Aww, hun, what a bummer!
I'm betting you are lovely, and the photos don't do you justice.
Not to mention, many people don't like pics of themselves, just like they don't like hearing their recorded voice.
How about trying again with another photographer?
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trollie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,580
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Post by trollie on Aug 23, 2019 0:48:43 GMT
A. I am sorry you are disappointed.
B. Please don't be so hard on yourself. There is so much more to you than your physical beauty.
C. Most people don't like how they look in pictures. This goes for the "beautiful ones" too
D. You are valuable.
(((HUGS)))
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Post by stampbooker on Aug 23, 2019 0:49:12 GMT
I’m sorry you are disappointed with the photos, what a let down! Do you think it was the photographer? Did y’all mesh and share a vision? Was she aware why you were doing this? I’m disappointed for you! Yes! I really liked her and she definitely understood what I was going for. It somehow just didn't come together. |
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trollie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,580
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Post by trollie on Aug 23, 2019 0:51:00 GMT
And, I bet your family would love your pictures. My husband loves pics that I absolutely hate. He sees me differently than I see my self.
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Post by stampbooker on Aug 23, 2019 1:00:20 GMT
Thanks everyone for the encouragement. Normally I wouldn't focus on my looks so much and in general I would think I am fine. However, I am out there in the dating world and am going through a dry spell right now, so feeling a little "not good enough."
This is hard to put into words and I feel like not everyone will understand this, but I feel a little bit of pressure (coming only from myself) to find a partner because I feel like my kids are missing out on having a dad. Even my older boys who are 17 and 19 need a male figure in their life and my younger 3 are 15, 12, and a 9 year old daughter. Their dad has been gone 3 years now.
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Post by chaosisapony on Aug 23, 2019 1:02:02 GMT
I'm sorry you don't like your photos. We are all our own worst critics. I bet most people in your life would see them and love them.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Aug 23, 2019 1:19:44 GMT
I bet the photos look better than you think based on that 'we are our own worst critic' theory. Nonetheless, I get your disappointment in them and I'm sorry it wasn't a better morale booster for you. Get with a girlfriend and do a campy, fun photo shoot.
I did that for my 50th with two girlfriends. One 'styled' me and the other was the photographer. We played music, drank wine, and laughed our asses off as I posed for a whole series of themes and outfits. We learned for example that I have no sultry look... it translates to the camera as moody and mean. Who doesn't want to see their woman in a skimpy outfit glowering at the camera? But I nailed the smiling wholesome looks. Eh. Whatever. The point was still made and I enjoyed the whole experience.
Maybe you can create a similar experience for yourself? You are strong, smart, beautiful, and resourceful... you just have to get to the place where you KNOW that too.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Aug 23, 2019 3:48:30 GMT
Do you have a friend who you could share the pictures with? If so, have a fun discussion with her about how she thinks of the pictures compared to what you think.... As others have said, we are hardest on ourselves!
BTW: I think you have a lot of confidence just by going out and doing a photo shoot! I am a whole lot older and have never had a photo shoot!!
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Post by lucyg on Aug 23, 2019 4:39:32 GMT
I had a photo shoot done in my early 20s (so we’re talking a LONG time ago) with a photographer who always did our family portraits. I wasn’t happy with them ... I thought I looked too stiff and self-conscious. He had me come back in for another sitting, and the second time around, he kept me busy talking and joking the whole time. He just kept shooting while he talked. My pictures came out great. I looked happy and relaxed.
Is it possible to do a second sitting with the photographer? Or is that something too old-school that just isn’t done anymore?
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Post by lesserknownpea on Aug 23, 2019 7:38:01 GMT
I did portrait photography for decades. I agree on several points.
Most people don’t like their pictures. Ask a trusted friend what she thinks. Whatever you do, don’t delete them. You may very well like them later.
A natural relaxed look is essential. Some people have a super hard time in front of the camera. I always offered to redo the shoot if my client was unhappy. I could not stand the idea that a client was disappointed. I absolutely took this too far, but is it possible your photographer will reshoot?
Things like the way your hair is parted, ect, is not the photographer’s job. She’s busy making sure the light, shutter speed, aperture, ISO, composition, and more are all correct. If you reshoot, bring a friend whose job is to watch for those little details. My biggest bete noir were necklaces getting twisted, showing the clasps, and otherwise not right.
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Post by happymom on Aug 23, 2019 11:41:50 GMT
I did portrait photography for decades. I agree on several Things like the way your hair is parted, ect, is not the photographer’s job. She’s busy making sure the light, shutter speed, aperture, ISO, composition, and more are all correct. If you reshoot, bring a friend whose job is to watch for those little details. My biggest bete noir were necklaces getting twisted, showing the clasps, and otherwise not right. I politely disagree. I would expect a photographer to see that a bra strap is showing or help me with angles of my face, shoulders and hips. Agreed that a friend helps to joke and relax you also, |
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Post by grammadee on Aug 23, 2019 11:59:39 GMT
Thanks everyone for the encouragement. Normally I wouldn't focus on my looks so much and in general I would think I am fine. However, I am out there in the dating world and am going through a dry spell right now, so feeling a little "not good enough." This is hard to put into words and I feel like not everyone will understand this, but I feel a little bit of pressure (coming only from myself) to find a partner because I feel like my kids are missing out on having a dad. Even my older boys who are 17 and 19 need a male figure in their life and my younger 3 are 15, 12, and a 9 year old daughter. Their dad has been gone 3 years now. We lost our mother to cancer when I was ten. My dad never remarried. I realized several years later that each of us kids had gravitated to a mother figure in our lives: a teacher, a friend’s mom, a mother-in-law, a co-worker. Your kids will be fine without your finding Mr Right. People have already assured you that our that no one likes their own photos much— or few people do. I know there are very few of mine I like. Keep out the photos you prefer. Crop some of the others so they don’t show the weird poses. Look at them often. They may grow on you. Put the rest away. You may like them later or never, but you don’t need them around you right now. |
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Post by mikklynn on Aug 23, 2019 12:33:15 GMT
I am sorry you are disappointed. I rarely like myself in photos.
I say this with love - you can't find a partner for your children. It has to be for you. Are YOU really interested in finding love right now or are you worried about your children growing up without a male role model?
Congratulation on the weight loss. Remember what a fantastic person YOU are. You are raising 5 children - WOW!
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Deleted
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Sept 28, 2024 23:41:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2019 12:47:04 GMT
Thanks everyone for the encouragement. Normally I wouldn't focus on my looks so much and in general I would think I am fine. However, I am out there in the dating world and am going through a dry spell right now, so feeling a little "not good enough." This is hard to put into words and I feel like not everyone will understand this, but I feel a little bit of pressure (coming only from myself) to find a partner because I feel like my kids are missing out on having a dad. Even my older boys who are 17 and 19 need a male figure in their life and my younger 3 are 15, 12, and a 9 year old daughter. Their dad has been gone 3 years now. Look for love only for YOU. Not the kiddos. If you are looking for a male presence in their life look to men such as uncles, grandfathers, coaches, male teachers, husbands of your female friends that have kids the same age and are willing to take another child's needs in. It also may not be one male but multiple males who fill the need for a dad figure without you or them realizing it. Don't complicate your love life with their needs. Most men looking to date aren't looking to become instant fathers. |
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Post by peasapie on Aug 23, 2019 13:19:18 GMT
Ten images doesn’t seem like many to choose from. Can you see all she took and choose from everything?
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Post by FuzzyMutt on Aug 23, 2019 16:41:16 GMT
I, too, agree that we are our hardest critics. With our image, and with our lives. We know where we are weak, we tend to downplay our strengths, and most of all, we focus on what we are most insecure about. One thing I thank "scrapbooking" for is the idea that we should be part of our story and I've been far more forgiving of myself in photos. Part of that may be that I take more and have more options to choose from heheheh I once took my son for a portrait session when he was about 9 at a Portrait Innovations studio (cold, not personal etc) and the goal was him in several different outfits to represent him and his interests at that time in his life. I had rushed from a full day of work, scooped him up from aftercare, and flew into our appointment at the last minute. I spent the minutes prior to his appointment staging his clothes and props, fixing his hair multiple times throughout the session. The photographer said, ok, I have lots of great pictures, but I have 2 shots left. Mom, you want in just for fun? NO wAY! But my son insisted (after all, I'd forced him to do it lol) So I fluffed my hair a bit. My day old work makeup and clothes, and went and sat on the backdrop with my son. We took one typical picture, then the photographer started chatting about another option. In the midst of the random stuff he was saying, he hit on an inside joke that my son and I had about our dog, and I looked down at him smiling, he looked up at me smiling... and that photographer managed to hit the button. That is my favorite photo of my son and I of all time. I'm so thankful to that guy!! Posed photos aren't always the best for a million reasons. Give yourself some grace. Besides, they're likely better than you think  |
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Aug 23, 2019 19:22:01 GMT
I’m sorry you are disappointed with the photos, what a let down! Do you think it was the photographer? Did y’all mesh and share a vision? Was she aware why you were doing this? I’m disappointed for you! |
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Deleted
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Sept 28, 2024 23:41:36 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 23, 2019 19:28:46 GMT
I am going through a little slump of self confidence, so I had the idea to book a photo shoot and get some good photos to make me feel better. I had the idea that having a good photographer who could pose me and take some good photos would be a boost.
Unfortunately I don't really like the photos very much. The package came with 10 images and there are a only about a couple that I feel like are okay. Several of them I don't like the posing very much, some of them I don't like my hair (my bangs are parted in a weird way that I don't like) and some I don't like the expression on my face. So instead of feeling better, I feel worse!
A couple years ago I lost 70 pounds and then I have lost another 20 over the past year. I really still have about 30 to go. Although I have lost all that weight, for some reason I feel fatter than ever. I also don't like the way my face looks anymore.
I'm so sorry it didn't go well. I wanted to have a professional photo session after I lost my weight also (17 years ago), but I was never brave enough to do it. I ALWAYS despise how I look in pics. Actually I hate the mirror too, but that's my own issues......
I'd explain your disappointment to the photographer. I'm SURE they'd do another session to replace this one. Explain how you don't like to pose. Explain how you want your bangs to look and how you'd like your expression to be--they should work with you!
Keep this in mind though: Photographs are a flat image of us, so you'll always find flaws. YOU know how much weight you've lost and I'm sure you notice how great you look in comparison. Now you have to find a great photographer who can capture that. Honestly, even at my most fit, I always hate my pics! I'm sure you look GREAT!! Also, I have found that the thinner we get (and the more healthy we get), the more we really pick apart how we look. We lost that shield that we had before. I'm SURE that you look great in person. I'd try the photographer one more time. I wouldn't want to pay if you're not happy!
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Post by lesserknownpea on Aug 23, 2019 20:26:19 GMT
I did portrait photography for decades. I agree on several Things like the way your hair is parted, ect, is not the photographer’s job. She’s busy making sure the light, shutter speed, aperture, ISO, composition, and more are all correct. If you reshoot, bring a friend whose job is to watch for those little details. My biggest bete noir were necklaces getting twisted, showing the clasps, and otherwise not right. I politely disagree. I would expect a photographer to see that a bra strap is showing or help me with angles of my face, shoulders and hips. Agreed that a friend helps to joke and relax you also, Expression, absolutely! Flattering angle, light, that’s essential. But while I’m focusing on that, I may not know they don’t like their bangs that way. I agree a bra strap showing is unacceptable, and if she gave her photos with that, it’s not ok. That said, if my subject is moving in a natural way, a bra strap might peep out that was covered if she were just standing straight and stiff. I have photoshopped out bra straps from otherwise perfect pictures. The pictures were good because I was looking at the facial expression and overall body image. I encouraged clients to wear clothing that moves with them and is not prissy and making them stand stiff. It really does not translate well in still photos. About the hair, clients need to fix it the way they like, bring a brush for touch ups, and if necessary ask the photographer to watch for certain problems. But they can’t read minds. I would show the display on the camera so the client would see what I was getting, and often that helped fix issues I had no idea they had about their looks. People are so critical of themselves! One beautiful high school graduate fixed her hair a way that showed her forehead, and then freaked that all her photos showed the little baby hairs along the hairline. She was only happy with her beautiful photos when I photoshopped the hairline of all her chosen images. I still know this young woman, who’s now in her 30’s, and ever since that time, she wears her hair with long sideswept bangs that cover her hairline completely. That’s just an example of how even the best photographer can not anticipate what a client will be critical about. My specialty is making subjects look their best. I angle their face so there’s no double chin, their body so it looks more streamlined. So I agree with most of what you said. |
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Post by sabrinae on Aug 23, 2019 22:15:10 GMT
Thanks everyone for the encouragement. Normally I wouldn't focus on my looks so much and in general I would think I am fine. However, I am out there in the dating world and am going through a dry spell right now, so feeling a little "not good enough." This is hard to put into words and I feel like not everyone will understand this, but I feel a little bit of pressure (coming only from myself) to find a partner because I feel like my kids are missing out on having a dad. Even my older boys who are 17 and 19 need a male figure in their life and my younger 3 are 15, 12, and a 9 year old daughter. Their dad has been gone 3 years now. Going to try to gently point this out. That pressure to find a “father”’for your kids isn’t doing anyone any good. Not you, not the men you date, and not your kids. If you think your kids need additional male role models look for them in other places rather than your dating pool |
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Post by stampbooker on Aug 24, 2019 0:35:21 GMT
I had a photo shoot done in my early 20s (so we’re talking a LONG time ago) with a photographer who always did our family portraits. I wasn’t happy with them ... I thought I looked too stiff and self-conscious. He had me come back in for another sitting, and the second time around, he kept me busy talking and joking the whole time. He just kept shooting while he talked. My pictures came out great. I looked happy and relaxed. Is it possible to do a second sitting with the photographer? Or is that something too old-school that just isn’t done anymore? I was thinking about asking, but it is a hard conversation to have. I really should though, I'm sure she would rather have a happy repeat customer than one who never returns. |
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Post by stampbooker on Aug 24, 2019 0:38:45 GMT
I did portrait photography for decades. I agree on several points. Most people don’t like their pictures. Ask a trusted friend what she thinks. Whatever you do, don’t delete them. You may very well like them later. A natural relaxed look is essential. Some people have a super hard time in front of the camera. I always offered to redo the shoot if my client was unhappy. I could not stand the idea that a client was disappointed. I absolutely took this too far, but is it possible your photographer will reshoot? Things like the way your hair is parted, ect, is not the photographer’s job. She’s busy making sure the light, shutter speed, aperture, ISO, composition, and more are all correct. If you reshoot, bring a friend whose job is to watch for those little details. My biggest bete noir were necklaces getting twisted, showing the clasps, and otherwise not right.
I get that how my hair is parted is maybe not her job. I will know next time to check between outfit changes. However, several times during the shoot she reached over and rearranged my bangs. So she maybe thought she was "fixing" my bangs, but I don't like the way they look.
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,053
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Post by samantha25 on Aug 24, 2019 0:51:29 GMT
I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Is there a particular photo that you liked your look and was it when you were younger? I always like my look in my wedding photos, but I was younger, slimmer, and wore makeup then. I'm not in many photos now because I think I should look like that. I think I will regret that I do not have photos of me when I'm older. I'm glad that you did take the effort and maybe in time you will be glad you did this. Treat yourself again, maybe to a different photographer. Just because they are "good" does not mean they are good for you. Do you have a friend with a good camera and could take some in-the-moment photos at a park, while swinging or going down a slide? I think self photos are difficult, maybe you need a prop like interactions with a dog/cat/horse....Hugs....
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