RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,899
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
|
Post by RedSquirrelUK on Aug 30, 2019 23:30:51 GMT
Here's a conundrum for you.
Our friend is in his late 50s, paralysed from mid-back downwards (about where his bra-strap would be if he wore one) since June. He's stuck in hospital until they can find a place for him in rehab. He's such a big-hearted person, but he's got nothing to do except watch endless movies and nothing to think about except himself, and it's driving him steadily crazy in there. He's also in a lot of pain. The whole situation breaks my heart.
I think it would be great for him to have something to do, especially something for other people, to take his mind off himself. He isn't academic or particularly literary, so not writing/typing, but there is nothing wrong with his hands and arms. Knitting/crochet would be ideal but he wouldn't consider anything "girlie". He has no space to spread out except the bed, and not much storage.
I've thought of making up card kits for him to put together for Christmas, but I wonder whether even that might be thought of as "girlie". He has a horror of anyone else thinking that of him. And it would be a lot of work making kits up if he wouldn't do it.
Can anyone think of anything he might do?
ETA: my apologies, I forgot to mention that he is immobile and in isolation. He sits in a wheelchair next to his bed sometimes, not every day, and has been taken down to a garden once and to the "gym" a couple of times. I think those are the only times he has left his room. He can't wheel himself. He is mostly bed-bound.
|
|
CeeScraps
Pearl Clutcher
~~occupied entertaining my brain~~
Posts: 3,894
Jun 26, 2014 12:56:40 GMT
|
Post by CeeScraps on Aug 30, 2019 23:40:40 GMT
What about coloring books? He could color, then make them into cards later on. He could use the internet to figure out blending.
He would need prisms pencils, a pencil sharpener and an eraser besides the coloring book. I suggest prisma’s because they blend really well. He would watch YouTube’s to figure out how to blend. All of this would take him awhile to learn.
Get him a color chart he could fill in his prismas so he has a reference to what they will look like when used.
|
|
|
Post by jjpeapea on Aug 30, 2019 23:43:52 GMT
Ship in a bottle? Airplane or model car? Warcraft figures?
|
|
smcast
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,475
Location: MN
Mar 18, 2016 14:06:38 GMT
|
Post by smcast on Aug 30, 2019 23:44:03 GMT
Does he read? Adult coloring books Word search Puzzles I'm surprised he's not being kept busy with various therapies.
|
|
|
Post by Basket1lady on Aug 30, 2019 23:44:51 GMT
Whittling? Drawing? Start a blog? Poor guy—that’s rough.
|
|
|
Post by FrozenPea on Aug 30, 2019 23:47:17 GMT
What about whittling or painting/drawing?
|
|
RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,899
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
|
Post by RedSquirrelUK on Aug 30, 2019 23:52:57 GMT
Does he read? Adult coloring books Word search Puzzles I'm surprised he's not being kept busy with various therapies. He's had a little occupational therapy but almost no physio. I'm gobsmacked that they aren't keeping his legs in any kind of condition. His feet have dropped and he's lost 27lbs in muscle mass in 2 months. No other therapies at all. No he doesn't enjoy books, and I think colouring would be regarded as for kids, not men. He does puzzles on his laptop already. I think he would be best fulfilled by doing something for other people, not just mindless time-wasting. He has lost any sense of his purpose on this planet. If he could do something that could make a difference to someone else, he would feel useful and needed.
|
|
used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,084
Jan 29, 2016 3:02:55 GMT
|
Post by used2scrap on Aug 31, 2019 0:10:36 GMT
What about putting together card kits that could be assembled for the military? I thought there were ground that not only did cards “for the troops”, but also send all occasion ones for the service members to use to send to their families/friends?
|
|
Sue
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,240
Location: SE of Portland, Oregon
Jun 26, 2014 18:42:33 GMT
|
Post by Sue on Aug 31, 2019 0:14:22 GMT
I know you say he wouldn't care for knitting because it's not something men do but here's a very interesting article about men and knitting. It's called "Bros and Rows: The Real History of Men Who Knit." www.huffpost.com/entry/men-who-knit_b_3860427 Perhaps if he read this article it might be something he would consider after all.
|
|
|
Post by lisae on Aug 31, 2019 0:14:52 GMT
Does he have a tablet? I love crossword puzzles since I started doing them on my tablet (where it won't let me put in the wrong letters!) Of course there are plenty of other games, too. He could play Words with Friends and interact with others.
Men do knit. You are right that knitting and crochet would be ideal since the materials can be kept in a small space and he could still watch TV if he wanted.
|
|
|
Post by revirdsuba99 on Aug 31, 2019 0:24:10 GMT
Knitting/crochet would be ideal but he wouldn't consider anything "girlie". He has no space to spread out except the bed, and not much storage. Family story. When my uncle was having his 7th birthday party my grandmother missed him and went looking for him. He was sitting in his room embroidering. This was over 100 years ago. As an adult and married to my aunt who was sewing a dress for her night sewing class. She got herself so upset over the weeks she ended up with shingles. My uncle sat down and finished the dress so she should could pass her class.
|
|
|
Post by idahopea on Aug 31, 2019 0:39:57 GMT
Just some random thoughts...
Cards for service members for the upcoming holidays? Those could be "manly" cards.
Is there a children's ward in the hospital? Coloring pictures or happy signs (with the prisma pencils) or perhaps making cards,bookmarks, doorknob hanger decorations or paper bag puppets, etc. as gifts to cheer up kids or elderly patients might be okay if it was for a specific purpose rather than if he was doing it just to entertain himself.
How about putting together some little cheer up gifts like a large Easter egg (or other small cardboard box) with a positive note and a small trinket or other item inside for him to give to patients or the staff? Do you remember those puzzle piece punches you could cut a photo or message up into 6 pieces? You could even cut them by hand. Some small thing like that with a positive message or beautiful photo or postcard cut from cardstock, mixed up, and inserted into an egg, box, or even an envelope. The recipient could put the puzzle together to see the message. He could do kid ones or adult ones. He could just write out a positive message on colored paper without cutting it up too. I'm sure the nursing staff would love a positive note of appreciation. There are books you can buy that are filled with positive messages he could copy.
I hope you can find something satisfying for him to do. It must be very frustrating for him!
|
|
|
Post by nlwilkins on Aug 31, 2019 1:22:43 GMT
some of these are messier than others,
macrame (belts with buckles, potted plant hangers, wrapping hangers, etc) painting rocks clay - use air dry clay so it does not have to be baked chain mail items such as pouches, wrist wraps (uses just rings which you purchase by the pound and pliers) wire weaving - there are some awesome designs out there that are masculine leather work - rolling magazine pages to make trays, vases and the like crocheting plastic trash bags into mats for the homeless - it is rough work and men could do this easier than women wine cork coasters and trays - you can purchase used wine corks on ebay carving books fishing lures - this is something my hubby used to do diamond painting You can find out about these things by doing a Google search If you do a search on Pinterest you will find much more
|
|
|
Post by candleangie on Aug 31, 2019 1:41:53 GMT
The chain mail is a great idea!
What’s he into in his day to day life? Is he a computer/gamer type guy? Is he into sports? It would help to know a little more about him...
|
|
gramma
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,039
Location: Sacramento, Ca
Aug 29, 2014 3:09:48 GMT
|
Post by gramma on Aug 31, 2019 1:59:16 GMT
I've recently begun to make cards for the "Cards For Soldiers" program. I made up kits and took them to a crop last week. Some we fairly complicated and some were very simple. The cards were not at all girlie. Maybe make up a few kits and take them the next time you visit. Ask him to help you with them. Tell him you are making them for ths soldiers or shut-in. I can send you some pics if you'd like
|
|
|
Post by roberta on Aug 31, 2019 2:35:18 GMT
Stamp collecting Leatherwork Whittling Clay Taking a specific amount of money for investments or poker. Play flute, guitar, clarinet or such Online paid surveys Online games Stuff envelopes for a charity / address envelopes / make calls Models Learn programming or web design Jewelry making Rug making - latch or woven Take an online course Get some Great Course CDs from the library Simple toy making Painting or drawing- he could draw coloring pages for the kids in peds Look at a Boy Scout book and they learn sewing, knitting etc
|
|
|
Post by scrapmaven on Aug 31, 2019 2:44:48 GMT
He needs to get daily physical therapy to keep his muscles from wasting. Sounds like he's not getting great care.
A tablet would really help pass the time, because he can play games or surf.
I agree w/getting him to knit or crochet. It really helps pass the time.
Word puzzle books are entertaining.
Since he isn't a fan of reading, what about audio books?
|
|
|
Post by Scrapper100 on Aug 31, 2019 2:46:51 GMT
Men do knit and crochet. I'm in a FB crichet group and a man designs the crochet alongs. There have been stories about elderly men making baby hats for babies in the nicu.
That's got to be really hard. I hope they find a better place for him soon and they can manage his pain.
|
|
kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,407
Location: Lost in my supplies...
Oct 26, 2014 17:02:56 GMT
|
Post by kelly8875 on Aug 31, 2019 3:45:50 GMT
What did he enjoy before his paralysis? Can any of that be modified? Like if he enjoys fishing, can he work on lures, or similar? Does he like cars/planes/boats? How about putting a model together? Drawing, painting, doodles?
|
|
chendra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,873
Location: The 33rd State
Jun 27, 2014 16:58:50 GMT
|
Post by chendra on Aug 31, 2019 3:59:23 GMT
Have you heard of the "Be My Eyes" app for cell phones? It allows blind people to video call a sighted person to ask for help, like to read directions or find something in their house or choose the color shirt they want. I have no experience with it, but I read about it on Reddit and it sounds very cool. Be My EyesAlso, how about Postcrossing? It's fun to receive beautiful postcards and stamps from people all over the world. It's not like having a penpal, because you send/receive from random people each time and you can stop at any time without having to end a relationship.
|
|
|
Post by mom on Aug 31, 2019 5:04:22 GMT
No advice really, I just wanted to commend you for thinking of your friend. Im sure he appriciates you!
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 7:30:03 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 31, 2019 6:44:19 GMT
Have you heard of the "Be My Eyes" app for cell phones? It allows blind people to video call a sighted person to ask for help, like to read directions or find something in their house or choose the color shirt they want. I have no experience with it, but I read about it on Reddit and it sounds very cool. Be My EyesAlso, how about Postcrossing? It's fun to receive beautiful postcards and stamps from people all over the world. It's not like having a penpal, because you send/receive from random people each time and you can stop at any time without having to end a relationship. Be my eyes is awesome. I was a volunteer for months. I got several calls but all were answered instantly before I could help because they push it to so many volunteers at once. I ended up removing the app. Could he be a pen pal for a military hospital patient or something?
|
|
theshyone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,423
Jun 26, 2014 12:50:12 GMT
|
Post by theshyone on Aug 31, 2019 7:21:50 GMT
I can sympathize with him. Being hospitalized and confined to a room for four months a few years ago was mind boggling.
For men how about parachute cord bracelets. The knot tying is very intricate or very simple, the cord can be in all sorts of colours or patterns. Very popular for men and women here.
|
|
RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,899
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
|
Post by RedSquirrelUK on Aug 31, 2019 8:00:26 GMT
Some interesting ideas here - thank you!
He can't make many calls. His mobile phone plan is stupidly expensive as he only had it for emergencies, and he's tied into his contract. That was the first thing we tried to fix for him when he was admitted, but we couldn't. We message using WhatsApp and ring him back when he wants a chat. He has his laptop but is a hunt-and-peck typist with poor spelling. He doesn't write. I mean he can, obviously, but he doesn't like to. I'm not sure I've ever seen his handwriting in 25 years!
He used to love driving and giving people lifts. He likes Formula 1 racing and first aid (that's frustrating for him when the nurses can't do a simple recovery position roll and refuse to learn from the patient) and he was/is a member of a men's club. Actually, that's a very good idea. I'll try to find contact details for his club friends and see if they can find anything for him to do in hospital - it's the kind of thing they would do, and he would do things for them that he might not do for me.
|
|
|
Post by gillyp on Aug 31, 2019 8:03:26 GMT
Would he be interested in researching his family tree online? Or providing some sort of online research for other people in what was his field?
I agree knitting or crochet would be great pastimes if you could convince him men do it. The Crochet Crowd on YouTube is run mainly by men and does online tutorials. Get him to Google Men Who Crochet and there are plenty of videos by men. He could make hats for the military (if you do that sort of thing there), blankets for cancer patients, hats/blankets for Prem babies, twiddle muffs or cushions for people with dementia, blankets for people displaced by hurricanes/fires etc.
|
|
|
Post by gillyp on Aug 31, 2019 8:06:14 GMT
I’ve just seen your post above mine and think involving the men from his club would be a great idea.
|
|
RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,899
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
|
Post by RedSquirrelUK on Aug 31, 2019 9:36:02 GMT
What about putting together card kits that could be assembled for the military? I thought there were ground that not only did cards “for the troops”, but also send all occasion ones for the service members to use to send to their families/friends? I love that idea. There is also the local hospice which may be closer to his heart. I wish he would knit or crochet but there is no way he could be persuaded. I know him well - he calls it "women's work" with a twinkle in his eye, but he does actually mean it. So I'm not even going down that alley in case he gets defensive and refuses to do anything at all. He's angry at all his care staff at the moment and not making things easy for himself. I might put a kit of 10 or so cards together anyway and take them in on the off-chance that he might do them. He's never done anything like that before, but if I cut everything out and lay it all out and take photos, then leave it to him to work out how it all goes together, it will be a puzzle and also doing things for others. I have an old lap tray with roses on it. I might get some sticky-back plastic and re-cover the surface and let him have it to work on. And I'm working on getting contact numbers for his club.
|
|
|
Post by mlynn on Aug 31, 2019 12:28:39 GMT
Would he consider playing with the kids in the pediatric wing? Reading them stories? Playing racing video games with them?
How about holding babies? Lots of hospitals have volunteer programs for this. The parents have to go back to work and the nurses can't spend the time to just hold the babies.
|
|
RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,899
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
|
Post by RedSquirrelUK on Aug 31, 2019 13:21:17 GMT
Would he consider playing with the kids in the pediatric wing? Reading them stories? Playing racing video games with them? How about holding babies? Lots of hospitals have volunteer programs for this. The parents have to go back to work and the nurses can't spend the time to just hold the babies. I forgot to mention that he is not mobile and in isolation. Sorry. I'll update the OP.
|
|
wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,022
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
|
Post by wellway on Aug 31, 2019 14:08:28 GMT
|
|