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Post by 950nancy on Sept 25, 2019 18:19:12 GMT
I work from home part-time four days a week (for a non profit) and volunteer once a week at an elementary school.
My husband works as a personal trainer part-time with about 50 clients per week (80% are 60 or older). He also teaches 2 college classes and teaches some strength and conditioning seminars to people in the US and all over the world.
He wins in having the more interesting job(s). I get that.
He comes home from work (often multiple times a day since he works multiple jobs) and I ALWAYS ask him about his day, his clients, his students, his whatever. He'll share (more or less depending on how tired he is). What I have started noticing is that now that I no longer leave the house for work (I went in more often until my boss moved to Nebraska), is that he never asks how work was for me.
I was just wondering, for those of you that work from home, does your spouse just assume your day was uneventful because you didn't leave the house? To be fair, most of the time it IS pretty darn uneventful, but I feel like I should be asked.
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Post by mrgiedrnkr on Sept 25, 2019 18:23:12 GMT
I work from home and my husband still asks me how my day was. Just because I don’t physically see people, I still have interactions with them that could lead to a good or bad day.
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The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,346
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Sept 25, 2019 18:23:29 GMT
Who really knows what a man is thinking?
Probably since you didn't go anywhere and interact with anyone he figures he doesn't need to ask.
Maybe you should say," Oh, how was my day? Glad you asked....."
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kelly8875
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Oct 26, 2014 17:02:56 GMT
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Post by kelly8875 on Sept 25, 2019 18:26:15 GMT
I work out of the home, and don’t get asked. I think it’s just the way it is sometimes. Doesn’t have much to do with where you work.
I’ll say “my day was fine, thanks for not asking” lol
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 9:17:43 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2019 18:27:46 GMT
I work remotely when I want. Dh always asks. Mostly because our law firm is imploding and there's always scoop, or we are in the paper, or there's a play about the firm (seriously). One of the most exciting accounting jobs I have had!
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 25, 2019 18:29:43 GMT
Who really knows what a man is thinking?
Probable since you didn't go anywhere and interact with anyone he figures he doesn't need to ask.
Maybe you should say," Oh, how was my day? Glad you asked....." Yes, I should have led with this!
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johnnysmom
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Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Sept 25, 2019 18:34:14 GMT
Dh will often text and ask "how's it going there?" but doesn't necessarily ask when he gets home. He'll also sometimes ask how the kids were or how the dog is....it's not often that he actually asks how *I* am but I'm not really shy about just telling him either I don't always ask how his day was either it all evens out. (I should also mention that he works from home 4 days a week unless he's traveling so most days we already know how our days were without even asking.....and we know when to steer clear of each other for awhile too )
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Post by danalz on Sept 25, 2019 18:46:18 GMT
I work from home most of my week (minus team meeting and random office meetings). DH always asks about my day. I interact with tons of people in my day in home visits and phone. There is always a crazy situation that occurs. 😂
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Post by gmcwife1 on Sept 25, 2019 18:55:45 GMT
I started working from home full time in April. Dh never really asked how my day was before or now. His mindset is, if I wanted him to know I’d tell him. He is not much of a conversationalist
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keithurbanlovinpea
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Flowing with the go...
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Jun 29, 2014 3:29:30 GMT
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Post by keithurbanlovinpea on Sept 25, 2019 19:17:28 GMT
I find that when I have expectations for how other people should behave, I'm setting myself up for disappointment.
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 25, 2019 19:32:43 GMT
I find that when I have expectations for how other people should behave, I'm setting myself up for disappointment. True, I just find it different that once I started working from home, he stopped asking. Just wondering if other people who work from home have noticed it. In most other categories, he behaves beautifully. . I do have certain expectations in those categories for sure.
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Post by Basket1lady on Sept 25, 2019 20:02:55 GMT
DH seldom asks me how my day went. But he DOES like an accounting of the tasks I’ve completed. I seldom give it, though. I don’t work for him and everything gets done. That’s really all he wants to know. Sometimes it does bug me that he doesn’t ask about how my day actually went, but I’m pretty verbal. If something (good or bad) happened, I usually just let him know. But yes, I think the expectation is there that my day isn’t all that exciting. And I generally like it that way!
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Post by dewryce on Sept 25, 2019 21:33:35 GMT
I am unemployed, (eta I just don’t work, I am not actively seeking a job so there would be no need to ask about work at all) so it is a slightly different situation, but your question made me think. He typically doesn’t ask how my day was, he asks how I am. I have some illnesses that affect my daily quality of life, including bipolar disorder, so it can change day by day so it is a relevant question. But we also text frequently during the day so he usually knows what I am up to. If he doesn’t, and doesn’t ask then I babble to him about it after he has decompressed. Okay, I try to wait until he has decompressed But he’s my person and I like sharing things with him so it’s hard!
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Post by dewryce on Sept 25, 2019 21:38:00 GMT
I find that when I have expectations for how other people should behave, I'm setting myself up for disappointment. That’s a very valid point. But I feel like we should be allowed to have certain expectations about how our spouse treats us. About a lot of things actually. This is certainly not a huge deal, and not speaking of the OP specifically, but if it goes along with a broader issue of a spouse potentially not taking an interest. I am fine admitting I expect my spouse to be interested in me, and therefore my daily life. I don’t expect he should want to know every detail, or even most details. But my feelings would be hurt if he DNGAF about what I get up to day to day.
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iluvpink
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Posts: 4,370
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Jul 13, 2014 12:40:31 GMT
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Post by iluvpink on Sept 25, 2019 21:40:07 GMT
Mine does. But generally I don't have much exciting to tell him. Lately my office is pretty drama free and working in the library is something most non library people find uninteresting. Especially interlibrary loan. Add working from home two days a week and there isn't much to say.
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Post by chlerbie on Sept 25, 2019 22:47:50 GMT
We both work from home most days, but when he comes home from somewhere after being gone all day, he'll generally ask about my day. But we talk a lot anyway. If he doesn't ask, I'll probably start blabbing about it anyway. I don't see it as a slight if he doesn't ask.
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caangel
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Jun 26, 2014 16:42:12 GMT
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Post by caangel on Sept 25, 2019 22:48:13 GMT
What did you say when you pointed it out to him?
Did he just forget or does he not care? There is a difference to me between the two.
If you haven't brought it up, it's pointless guessing. Just talk to him.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Sept 25, 2019 23:36:25 GMT
We both work out of the home. I usually ask him how his day was when I get home. He never asks me, I tell him anyway if I have a good story. Neither bothers me. If everything else is fine, I find this a very small hill that I wouldn't even both resting on.
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Post by cmpeter on Sept 26, 2019 0:07:37 GMT
I’ve worked from home since 2000. DH will always ask how my day was. Lately it’s been crazy busy (12 hour days)...so I know now he’s a bit worried about my mental health. :-). It should calm down in a couple weeks though.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Sept 26, 2019 0:35:58 GMT
I work for my DH part time from home. I have no contact with clients or vendors, I mostly do very routine data entry and bookkeeping tasks. There isn’t much to ask about, honestly. It doesn’t bother me. If anything unusual or interesting happened, I would just volunteer it. If our kid was home sick or something similar, he might ask about that. I think if I had a different kind of job where there was any actual variety from one day to the next, I might feel differently.
I don’t need to ask him about his day because he will typically start rattling off what happened as soon as he rolls through the door, LOL. Sometimes his daily recounts are pretty boring, other times I know he’s unloading because someone irritated the crap out of him and other times he has some pretty funny or WTF stories.
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Peamac
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Jun 26, 2014 0:09:18 GMT
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Post by Peamac on Sept 26, 2019 0:45:06 GMT
I work out of the home now and DH usually doesn't ask- he didn't ask when I worked from home, either. I think it's a guy thing.
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Post by refugeepea on Sept 26, 2019 0:59:44 GMT
Our jobs are quite mundane so it's something we don't usually discuss. It would be annoying to me if it felt one sided. There are days when I do tell him about my day whether he wants to hear it or not.
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paget
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Post by paget on Sept 26, 2019 1:33:13 GMT
I started working from home in late June- it’s the same job, I am just allowed to telework now. I’m at home about 80% of the time - other times I have client visits, meeting. Dh continues to ask me how my day was.
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 26, 2019 1:51:13 GMT
What did you say when you pointed it out to him? Did he just forget or does he not care? There is a difference to me between the two. If you haven't brought it up, it's pointless guessing. Just talk to him. He came home today after teaching a full day of people from Thailand. He had an interpreter. He had lots to say and when he finished, I just said, "My day was good too." He laughed and said your day is good every day. So I am thinking that my life is clearly uneventful and good. He isn't wrong. He is generally a pretty quiet guy and we have been married for 32 years, so we do know each other well. (If I'd had a crappy day, he would have known... I generally point out that kind of thing.) My question was really about the difference in what people ask when they work from home vs working from a place of business. I wondered if people just assumed your day was good or non eventful because it isn't filled with face-to-face interactions.
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 26, 2019 1:53:29 GMT
I work out of the home now and DH usually doesn't ask- he didn't ask when I worked from home, either. I think it's a guy thing. When I was teaching ten year olds, he asked most days. To be fair, topics about ten year olds make very interesting dinner conversations. We both were teachers in the public schools and always had some tale to tell.
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 26, 2019 1:56:52 GMT
Mine does. But generally I don't have much exciting to tell him. Lately my office is pretty drama free and working in the library is something most non library people find uninteresting. Especially interlibrary loan. Add working from home two days a week and there isn't much to say. I had lunch several months ago with two young (23-24) librarians who did a student outreach program for their building. I was really surprised at what I thought they did compared to what they actually did in their job. I was at a student job fair and really had a great time talking to them.
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Post by femalebusiness on Sept 26, 2019 2:11:08 GMT
When I was first married I got my feelings hurt a few times when I did a project or something that I was proud of and he would barely acknowledge it. One time I came unglued and started ranting at him. He was genuinely surprised that I was upset and said “Why didn't you say you wanted me to Ooo and Aaah over it?” He then proceeded to tell me how much he liked whatever it was that I had done and was impressed with the project.
Taught me a lesson. In some areas men are dumber than shit. They really need to be told specifically what you want them to do. Now I just tell him to come over here and Ooo and Aaah over whatever it is that I want him to take a look at and he does. His compliments are genuine and we are both happy.
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caangel
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Jun 26, 2014 16:42:12 GMT
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Post by caangel on Sept 26, 2019 2:27:10 GMT
What did you say when you pointed it out to him? Did he just forget or does he not care? There is a difference to me between the two. If you haven't brought it up, it's pointless guessing. Just talk to him. He came home today after teaching a full day of people from Thailand. He had an interpreter. He had lots to say and when he finished, I just said, "My day was good too." He laughed and said your day is good every day. So I am thinking that my life is clearly uneventful and good. He isn't wrong. He is generally a pretty quiet guy and we have been married for 32 years, so we do know each other well. (If I'd had a crappy day, he would have known... I generally point out that kind of thing.) My question was really about the difference in what people ask when they work from home vs working from a place of business. I wondered if people just assumed your day was good or non eventful because it isn't filled with face-to-face interactions. "So I am thinking that my life is clearly uneventful and good. He isn't wrong." These are your words not his. To me the issue isn't that he doesn't ask about your day. The issue seems to be that you feel your day is uneventful or unfulfilling. Or maybe I'm all wrong! If it really is just that you want him to ask about your day, TELL him to ask about your day: "I'd really like it if you would ask about my day too." Be that blunt. I don't notice if my dh asks me (SAHM, volunteer, sub). But I will typically tell him about my day without prompting. Doesn't mean he is always interested, but I will read his cues when I can tell he is working through other things or just distracted. I do remember him pointing out a long time ago that I didn't regularly ask him about his day (works in an office). So now I make a point of asking because I know it makes him feel cared for. No biggie on my end, I'm happy to oblige and I have learned a lot about what he does over the years. But I would never have know if he didn't ask. It would have probably become a bigger thing if he had let it fester.
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caangel
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Posts: 5,674
Location: So Cal
Jun 26, 2014 16:42:12 GMT
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Post by caangel on Sept 26, 2019 2:29:27 GMT
When I was first married I got my feelings hurt a few times when I did a project or something that I was proud of and he would barely acknowledge it. One time I came unglued and started ranting at him. He was genuinely surprised that I was upset and said “Why didn't you say you wanted me to Ooo and Aaah over it?” He then proceeded to tell me how much he liked whatever it was that I had done and was impressed with the project. Taught me a lesson. In some areas men are dumber than shit. They really need to be told specifically what you want them to do. Now I just tell him to come over here and Ooo and Aaah over whatever it is that I want him to take a look at and he does. His compliments are genuine and we are both happy. This! My DH is a perfectionist and always has an opinion. So if I don't want suggestions I will tell him ahead of time. He does have a good eye for design so I value his input frequently too.
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keithurbanlovinpea
Pearl Clutcher
Flowing with the go...
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Jun 29, 2014 3:29:30 GMT
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Post by keithurbanlovinpea on Sept 26, 2019 22:51:05 GMT
I find that when I have expectations for how other people should behave, I'm setting myself up for disappointment. That’s a very valid point. But I feel like we should be allowed to have certain expectations about how our spouse treats us. About a lot of things actually. This is certainly not a huge deal, and not speaking of the OP specifically, but if it goes along with a broader issue of a spouse potentially not taking an interest. I am fine admitting I expect my spouse to be interested in me, and therefore my daily life. I don’t expect he should want to know every detail, or even most details. But my feelings would be hurt if he DNGAF about what I get up to day to day. I 100% agree. I just wouldn't make the assumption that because my DH didn't ask, that he didn't care or wasn't interested in my daily life
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