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Post by dewryce on Oct 4, 2019 21:52:40 GMT
What can we do on Christmas that has nothing, or little to do with Christmas? In 2010 my water broke very prematurely on Christmas morning and he was stillborn the next day. So obviously Christmas isn’t a great time of year for us. DH still hasn’t processed it and has a couple of bad months every year around this time. To make things worse this year his cousin is due with a boy on the 21st, she used the same method and fertility doctor. And we are absolutely thrilled for them and have expressed that. But even seeing the books I bought for her shower on the iPad sent him in a downward spiral the other night.
Every year except for one we have joined our families for every Christmas celebration and we’ve managed. Even enjoyed ourselves most of the time. But we fear that this year, with everyone gathering to see the new baby and a newborn at our gatherings, we think this might just be too much and cause a huge setback. Of course we will be speaking with his therapist about it, but last night we made the decision that yeah...family Christmas is not going to happen this year.
One year we went to see the Steelers play on Christmas and I can’t begin to describe how much that helped him before Christmas, and how much lighter we felt Christmas Day. Just being out doing something on our own not related to the holiday was the best medicine we could get and the best Christmas we’ve spent since we lost him. But NO ONE around here (Texas/LA/OK) is playing on Christmas Day. Neither are the Steelers or Spurs we were willing to travel. Y’all I was willing to go pull for the Cowboys with him. I’m a Redskins’ fan. But I NEED something for him. I am desperate.
We love theater, but they’re all dark on the 24th and 25th. I was looking for Hamilton playing anywhere in the continental US, including Chicago and NYC. No such luck.
We’ve never taken a cruise but a quick search showed 1 out of Galveston for less than 600 a piece. I assume it’s not the best cruise in the world the ship or room...but it’s something. 1 day at sea, Cozumel, 1 day at sea, home. We are fine laying around for much of the time, doing so while reading on epdeck sounds nice to me. But I’m concerned it will be one big floating Christmas celebration and we’ll have no where comfortable to escape on Christmas and nothing to do.
We thought going back to New Orleans might be fun. But again, I can’t find anything to do on Christmas.
I can’t think of anything else to do besides go to the movies. We are probably going to go stay at a hotel somewhere, and I can find things to do around Christmas. But nothing big to do and look forward to on Christmas Day itself. Help!
Oh, we are near San Antonio but willing to travel. He hates to fly though so I’m not adding that anxiety. We are willing to drive a ways for a great distraction, but it will take time away from our vacation. Not too crazy expensive.
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Post by christine58 on Oct 4, 2019 21:59:58 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. Are you and your DH in therapy at all? I know of many who go on cruises out of Galveston.
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Post by quinlove on Oct 4, 2019 22:02:54 GMT
((( dewryce ))). I don’t have any good suggestions off the top of my head. Sending you hugs and love. ❤️
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Post by elaine on Oct 4, 2019 22:04:36 GMT
(((Hugs))) I’m so sorry for your loss. Christmas has to be hard on you too.
I think that a cruise sounds like a great idea. Can you splurge on one that’s a little longer? There usually ends up being more shows and other programs on longer cruises vs. short ones.
If people wanted a traditional Christmas, they wouldn’t be spending it on a cruise ship. I think that many people who cruise over Christmas are avoiding traditional celebrations, for the most part.
If not a cruise, maybe a stay somewhere in the Caribbean. I think if you stay in the USA, there will be little to do, other than the movies. Growing up in a Jewish family that didn’t celebrate Christmas, even secularly, we just hit 2-3 Oscar-worthy movies (they release a number of them at the end of the December because they will fresher in the memories of the voters) and then went out for Chinese. But Cozumel or Jamaica or some other tourist destination will cater to you and it should hopefully be warm enough to spend time at the pool or in the ocean.
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Post by dewryce on Oct 4, 2019 22:06:09 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. Are you and your DH in therapy at all? I know of many who go on cruises out of Galveston. Thank you. Oh yeah, and he’s upping his sessions and going back for another short course of TMS. But this is a big issue that we don’t see being resolved in this short of a time frame. Even if it is, this just seems like a major trigger that could bring forth all of the trauma and emotions and set him way back on his progress. I see no benefit of putting him through it. Of course we will get his doctor’s and therapist’s perspective. Until then, we need a plan or at least an idea of one for him to look forward to.
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Post by dewryce on Oct 4, 2019 22:15:42 GMT
(((Hugs))) I’m so sorry for your loss. Christmas has to be hard on you too. I think that a cruise sounds like a great idea. Can you splurge on one that’s a little longer? There usually ends up being more shows and other programs on longer cruises vs. short ones. If people wanted a traditional Christmas, they wouldn’t be spending it on a cruise ship. I think that many people who cruise over Christmas are avoiding traditional celebrations, for the most part. If not a cruise, maybe a stay somewhere in the Caribbean. I think if you stay in the USA, there will be little to do, other than the movies. Growing up in a Jewish family that didn’t celebrate Christmas, even secularly, we just hit 2-3 Oscar-worthy movies (they release a number of them at the end of the December because they will fresher in the memories of the voters) and then went out for Chinese. But Cozumel or Jamaica or some other tourist destination will cater to you and it should hopefully be warm enough to spend time at the pool or in the ocean. Thank you. It is, and sometimes I break down, but truly not often. Some sad moments that I let myself have and them I’m able to move on. Right after we lost him we spent so much time together, it’s weird but it really made us even closer than we were before. During that time I really went through the emotions and processed it, we thought he had too but it seems he was just being strong for me. Now it’s my turn. No, we used most of his vacation time in his triathlon trips and he has another in the Spring. If there is something exceptional he would probably be willing, and his boss was there in 2010 so I’m sure she would give him the time. But cruises out of Galveston are pretty limited. Has anyone ever been on a Christmas cruise? Maybe it won’t be over the top on theme as I think it will. I guess I should have mentioned that we only do sun in long stretches when forced. LOL. We are winter people. Is there a lot to do in the Caribbean besides relax by a beach or pool? Something like zip-lining would be fun. If all else fails we could do a movie marathon at a theater. Then have an amazing dinner at a nice restaurant. Or I could hand him a wad of cash to throw away at the black jack table. This is one of those times I wish he drank alcohol, just a drink or two might get him out of his head a bit.
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Post by kelly316 on Oct 4, 2019 22:22:55 GMT
Find some Jewish friends to hang out with??? I find humor to be the best medicine.
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Post by elaine on Oct 4, 2019 22:33:01 GMT
(((Hugs))) I’m so sorry for your loss. Christmas has to be hard on you too. I think that a cruise sounds like a great idea. Can you splurge on one that’s a little longer? There usually ends up being more shows and other programs on longer cruises vs. short ones. If people wanted a traditional Christmas, they wouldn’t be spending it on a cruise ship. I think that many people who cruise over Christmas are avoiding traditional celebrations, for the most part. If not a cruise, maybe a stay somewhere in the Caribbean. I think if you stay in the USA, there will be little to do, other than the movies. Growing up in a Jewish family that didn’t celebrate Christmas, even secularly, we just hit 2-3 Oscar-worthy movies (they release a number of them at the end of the December because they will fresher in the memories of the voters) and then went out for Chinese. But Cozumel or Jamaica or some other tourist destination will cater to you and it should hopefully be warm enough to spend time at the pool or in the ocean. Thank you. It is, and sometimes I break down, but truly not often. Some sad moments that I let myself have and them I’m able to move on. Right after we lost him we spent so much time together, it’s weird but it really made us even closer than we were before. During that time I really went through the emotions and processed it, we thought he had too but it seems he was just being strong for me. Now it’s my turn. No, we used most of his vacation time in his triathlon trips and he has another in the Spring. If there is something exceptional he would probably be willing, and his boss was there in 2010 so I’m sure she would give him the time. But cruises out of Galveston are pretty limited. Has anyone ever been on a Christmas cruise? Maybe it won’t be over the top on theme as I think it will. I guess I should have mentioned that we only do sun in long stretches when forced. LOL. We are winter people. Is there a lot to do in the Caribbean besides relax by a beach or pool? Something like zip-lining would be fun. If all else fails we could do a movie marathon at a theater. Then have an amazing dinner at a nice restaurant. Or I could hand him a wad of cash to throw away at the black jack table. This is one of those times I wish he drank alcohol, just a drink or two might get him out of his head a bit. Here is an all-inclusive 4-night adults-only vacation package in Costa Rico over Christmas that includes a day of zip lining, a day at a national park and a day of ATV’ing. I have heard that Costa RICO has some of the best zip lining in the world! travel.centralamerica.com/booking?source=crv&start=12%2F22%2F2019&end=12%2F26%2F2019&adults=2&rooms=1&templateId=2&_pfs_1570228219979=
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Post by mrssmith on Oct 4, 2019 22:41:15 GMT
So sorry for your loss.
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Post by dewryce on Oct 4, 2019 23:02:14 GMT
elaine Thank you so much for taking the time to look that up, I really appreciate it. It’s so perfect that if we could drive there I would surprise him and book it without even discussing it with him. But the flights take it out of what he wants to spend, and he has severe anxiety with flying. I don’t want to add to his stress. Hypnotism is on his agenda, because it worked as a child, but he wants to work through one thing at a time. Which I understand. But I am bookmarking that as a possible vacation next summer or fall. It’s a great site though, a good starting point. We hadn’t even considered Central America except getting there via cruise. I am going to look around on it and see if I can find something a bit closer for now. Thanks again!
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Post by nlwilkins on Oct 4, 2019 23:05:52 GMT
Could you possibly change your criteria to something exciting to do the day after Christmas? It seems like Christmas would be a hard day to find a good event to attend. If you found something you could spend Christmas Day getting ready for the next day, perhaps driving to the city where it is or packing up snacks and stuff.
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PLurker
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Post by PLurker on Oct 4, 2019 23:06:08 GMT
I have only ((hugs)) for you.
Hope you find something for you both to enjoy .
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Post by vjlau on Oct 4, 2019 23:16:25 GMT
Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss!
I'd suggest a cruise, or an all inclusive vacation if you can swing it. While other places you go on vacation might have lots of things closed, these things will have constant activity - fun AND distracting.
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ashley
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Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
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Post by ashley on Oct 4, 2019 23:18:05 GMT
Maybe volunteer somewhere?
Driving road trip... pick a theme. Distilleries, museums, hiking trails...
Home renovation project?
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Post by MichyM on Oct 4, 2019 23:20:56 GMT
I'm so sorry that Christmas is so difficult for you.
I'm Jewish, the only time I celebrated Christmas at all was during my marriage to my (Christian) ex. Can you play Jewish For a few days? For me it's pretty easy to ignore on the actual days. Christmas Eve I often host a traditional Hanukkah (even if it's been over for weeks) dinner at my house. there are lots of holiday "orphans" around and we always have lots of fun. Board games and wine round out the night. Christmas Day we sleep in and then make a specific brunch. Every year. Then Christmas afternoon we see a movie that opens on that day. Often times we run into our neighbors who are "done" with Christmas by then.
By about 4pm, some bars and restaurants start to open up as well.:DHonestly, Christmas night out at a fun bar is great, trust me.
It sounds like you were toying with NYC? Many shows on Broadway will have a Christmas Eve matinee. Plus there will be lots of other entertainment opportunities elsewhere on Christmas Eve and beginning after about 3pm on Christmas day that aren't holiday centric. between those two evenings, a lovely dinner out, leisurely breakfast in bed, and a long walk or maybe a ferry ride to Staten island and back to get you out and about?
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Oct 4, 2019 23:26:19 GMT
They really do release a lot of good movies on Christmas day..... Check some out... Good restaurant might be hard, but Chinese is always available! I will say when my grandma and mom finally decided not to do a big Christmas dinner, they started with fixin's for sub sandwiches, make your own and anyone/everyone welcome! Buying some more exotic items not normally on the table during the year and homemade cookies!
((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))
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Post by elaine on Oct 4, 2019 23:34:19 GMT
elaine Thank you so much for taking the time to look that up, I really appreciate it. It’s so perfect that if we could drive there I would surprise him and book it without even discussing it with him. But the flights take it out of what he wants to spend, and he has severe anxiety with flying. I don’t want to add to his stress. Hypnotism is on his agenda, because it worked as a child, but he wants to work through one thing at a time. Which I understand. But I am bookmarking that as a possible vacation next summer or fall. It’s a great site though, a good starting point. We hadn’t even considered Central America except getting there via cruise. I am going to look around on it and see if I can find something a bit closer for now. Thanks again! My pleasure! Now that I know that flying is out, I’ll keep thinking and researching with those parameters. It is now one of my goals to help you find a do-able non-Christmas vacation over Christmas. And I love a challenge!
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SharonScraps
Full Member
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Jun 27, 2014 23:36:35 GMT
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Post by SharonScraps on Oct 4, 2019 23:34:27 GMT
I am sorry for your loss. Perhaps a log cabin in the woods or mountains. Oklahoma isn’t toooo far to drive. Rent a beach house on the coast. I got a lot of hits on Air BNB for both these. Go to a casino in LA or OK. A lot of people i know go to WinStar Casino on IH35, just across the border in OK. You could call ahead and see if they do or don't decorate and such for Christmas. I have a couple friends that go, signed up for a card and get a free room a couple of times a year. Go go a couple movies and out for Chinese food. Best wishes. Sharon
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QueenoftheSloths
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Jun 26, 2014 0:29:24 GMT
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on Oct 4, 2019 23:36:14 GMT
Facebook friends of DH went on a cruise at Christmas for similar reasons, they mentioned that all the cruise lines decorate for Christmas- they said they called around to check.
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Post by PenandInk on Oct 4, 2019 23:39:16 GMT
I don’t know San Antonio, but there is a hotel on the riverwalk that has fall and winter package deals through Dec. 30. Sleep in, have brunch, walk along the riverwalk. Riverwalk vacation packages
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Post by AussieMeg on Oct 4, 2019 23:48:24 GMT
Oh dewryce, I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your son. I didn't know that you'd been through that devastating experience. I hope that you and your husband are able to find something lovely to do together at Christmas, that will help even just a little bit. (((Hugs)))
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julie5
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Post by julie5 on Oct 4, 2019 23:50:47 GMT
Sending you both love. How tough. And how great that you’ve tried to make your own way through the holiday and grief. I don’t have any suggestions but wanted to say I’ve been on a cheap cruise and had a lot of fun! Maybe see what the onboard activities are? Maybe they cater to people who don’t really want to celebrate Christmas? I would love to cruise for the holiday, this is the first anniversary of my brothers death (dec 21) and I’m already melting down with all the Christmas stuff coming out. I actually had to have a crying jag this morning because the funk isn’t going away and I had to ask hubby to please help. I’m pretty good at burying my pain but this one just isn’t going to fix itself. I’m going to have to rough it out grief wise and I don’t want to. Anyways, sending you much love.
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Post by dewryce on Oct 4, 2019 23:55:16 GMT
Could you possibly change your criteria to something exciting to do the day after Christmas? It seems like Christmas would be a hard day to find a good event to attend. If you found something you could spend Christmas Day getting ready for the next day, perhaps driving to the city where it is or packing up snacks and stuff. I would love to, and it makes sense as that is the day we actually lost him. And I’ve found lots of professional games we can attend on that day. But for whatever reason it is Christmas Day that is most difficult for him, so it’s the day I need to find a distraction for. Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss! I'd suggest a cruise, or an all inclusive vacation if you can swing it. While other places you go on vacation might have lots of things closed, these things will have constant activity - fun AND distracting. As soon as DH walks through the door we are looking at the link Elaine provided to see if something sticks out for him that is close enough to drive in a day. We are considering the cruise but I need to call and find out what Christmas Day activities entail. I’m concerned we will be bombarded with Christmas left and right and have no where to escape. Maybe volunteer somewhere? Driving road trip... pick a theme. Distilleries, museums, hiking trails... Home renovation project? A road trip is the plan, we have got to get out of the house and its memories! Now to find where to take our road trip that will have some good activities on Christmas Day itself.
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Post by Merge on Oct 5, 2019 0:05:09 GMT
I'm very sorry. I didn't know about this loss or had forgotten.
Do you all camp or hike? Golf? Maybe book a stay at Lost Pines or somewhere else up in the Hill Country and plan a long hike for the day. Or for that matter, out to Alpine/Terlingua/Big Bend if you haven't done that (or even if you have). Is he a history buff? There's a movie called 1917 coming out on the 25th - you could book tickets at an upscale theater like the iPic and a room in a nice hotel for after.
I'll keep thinking and be on the lookout. There's a big Jewish community in Houston and I'm sure there are things there o do on the 25th.
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snyder
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Post by snyder on Oct 5, 2019 0:05:36 GMT
So sorry for your loss. I will pray that you and your husband will eventually find some peace and to allow your heart to rest a bit.
Good suggestions so far. Another one I thought about was if you area has any Soup Kitchens or Food Banks that may be offering a meal. I know that could be a bit Christmasy, but of all those that I know that have volunteered during the holidays have cherished the time spent with the less fortunate.
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Post by dewryce on Oct 5, 2019 0:16:50 GMT
Thank you so much for the good thoughts and ideas. I haven’t gotten through all of them yet and DH is here so it’s time for dinner. I will check back this evening and finish going through your suggestions!
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Post by jenjie on Oct 5, 2019 0:24:54 GMT
I’m so sorry, friend. 😔
How about a theme park? I don’t think you’ll be able to avoid the Christmas decor, but maybe a ride on Space Mountain or something would be a good distraction.
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Post by elaine on Oct 5, 2019 0:25:14 GMT
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Post by elaine on Oct 5, 2019 0:29:14 GMT
I’m so sorry, friend. 😔 How about a theme park? I don’t think you’ll be able to avoid the Christmas decor, but maybe a ride on Space Mountain or something would be a good distraction. We are spending Thanksgiving at WDW this year and I am beyond relieved to not have to cook Thanksgiving dinner for the first time in 30 years. And I just bought our military park hopper tickets yesterday and made all our FastPass reservations. My Dh is beyond excited to explore both Pandora (Avatar Land) and Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge that week. He is normally ho-hum about our WDW trips, but Star Wars and Avatar attractions are a BIG draw for him.
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Post by gritzi on Oct 5, 2019 0:35:23 GMT
I think a cruise would be one large Christmas/holiday filled festivity ship.
Is there a beachfront condo to rent at South Padre Island? Perhaps a low-key accommodation and then plan area activities accordingly.
I'm so sorry for your loss!
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