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Post by elaine on Apr 1, 2020 15:31:10 GMT
Thank you, everyone, for your kind words and support. They mean a lot. This morning started with 2 hours of yelling and kicking because DS2 wants us to find an open record store - we bought a cheap record player for him as something to do without school. Dh still has a collection of old records from back in the day, and ds2 has been enjoying playing them. However, even the best plans have a downside around here. So, we are dealing with tantrums because he doesn’t understand that records stores are all closed due to the Coronavirus. We have tried online shopping for albums, but that isn’t making him happy. If it isn’t one thing, it is another. We had lots of strategies for structure and activities that just aren’t possible right now. I know that other parents here are facing the same challenges. Even if your family was moving along somewhat okay, the disruption of society has resulted in most families’ coping strategy toolbox being emptied. And my guess is that there are also some marriages that are suffering too. Lots of togetherness, without much opportunity to get out alone, not to mention all the uncertainty about the future, employment and the economy, just magnifies stressors that were there all along. I want people to know that they aren’t alone. That there are a lot of out there not having Facebook family moments right now. Lots of (((hugs))) to everyone. And thank you again for all your support. I can’t imagine my life without this place.
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Post by refugeepea on Apr 1, 2020 15:37:03 GMT
Today I am taking my DS to the grocery store with me to stock up on groceries for the week. I don’t give a crap what anyone thinks. If it diffuses a violent outburst at home and helps him to not start a destructive spiral downward, then we will take the proper precautions and go forth. big ((hugs)). My daughter works at a grocery store and they asked her if she would take a month off so employees with families could get more hours in and I'm concerned she may not want to go back. So yes, she has gone to the grocery store with me, plus she technically is an adult. There are certain things that feel essential to me for mental health; the ability to make it through the day. Then I read threads about why isn't xxxx stores closed and I feel like I'm being selfish for wanting to get a bag of sand to put in my son's sandbox.
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Post by elaine on Apr 1, 2020 15:38:46 GMT
I appreciate all the Facebook posts and YouTube videos of families doing fun things together in these days of social isolation, but there is also a segment of the population that is just trying to psychologically survive each day, counting down the hours until bedtime from the moment the kids get out of bed. Sometimes it's not even the fun stuff they post. It's seeing the 'normal' kids doing everyday things. My family started a FB group. My great niece who got her big girl bed. My son won't sleep in one and we cannot leave his door open at night. Or my great nephew who was playing with some toys, constructing a model of the corona virus and explaining how it works. Seeing them talk. Sometimes that's too much. My son slept a long time last night. Super happy about that, but then it almost feels pathetic in a way to share with the family. There's probably about five things that I could share repeatedly. While they are progressing it feels like the movie Groundhog Day in my home. On a positive/kind of positive note my husband is now considered high risk so he is now home. IDK, could go either way. I have been there often, my friend. Although, without school and how much that tires him out, he isn’t sleeping as much I also understand about looking at other’s kids doing normal things and that sense of loss and hurt, because your son just won’t ever do some of them. I would love to hear any of your positives and I don’t care if it is the same thing each day. On a positive note here, my son’s ABA therapist got him to email his teacher - who it sounds like has COVID, but his doc won’t test him because he isn’t severe enough - and it will make him very happy when his teacher emails him back this evening. He is able to email by using talk-to-text and a ton of coaching from his therapist.
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Post by elaine on Apr 1, 2020 15:42:54 GMT
Today I am taking my DS to the grocery store with me to stock up on groceries for the week. I don’t give a crap what anyone thinks. If it diffuses a violent outburst at home and helps him to not start a destructive spiral downward, then we will take the proper precautions and go forth. big ((hugs)). My daughter works at a grocery store and they asked her if she would take a month off so employees with families could get more hours in and I'm concerned she may not want to go back. So yes, she has gone to the grocery store with me, plus she technically is an adult. There are certain things that feel essential to me for mental health; the ability to make it through the day. Then I read threads about why isn't xxxx stores closed and I feel like I'm being selfish for wanting to get a bag of sand to put in my son's sandbox. Don’t you dare feel bad! ((Hugs))) Some people have the luxury to NOT understand what is essential for some of us to make it through the day. I’ve had to stop reading the handslapping threads, because it makes me want to tell a lot of people that they should come live in my house for a day and their views of hoarding and what is essential would change.
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Deleted
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May 12, 2024 12:20:52 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2020 15:43:56 GMT
I’m sorry elaine. Even in our household, being confined with the same people 24/7 is a struggle. Hoping the curve flattens and the SIP ends soon.
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Post by elaine on Apr 1, 2020 15:45:55 GMT
Those who have special needs, neurodiverse, depressed, anxious, or explosive kids/family members at home have been weighing heavily on my mind lately. Indeed, I am the mother of one such 18 year old, but, by heaven’s grace he has been doing very well, so far. There have been times with my DS that we absolute HAD to be separated, for everyone’s safety, and, not having the option right now is a potential nightmare that I don’t want to think about!!! I am so, so sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I am reaching out to you to give love and support. You do what you have to do. And a reminder to people around to please not judge if you have not walked in these particular shoes. Today I am taking my DS to the grocery store with me to stock up on groceries for the week. I don’t give a crap what anyone thinks. If it diffuses a violent outburst at home and helps him to not start a destructive spiral downward, then we will take the proper precautions and go forth. ((Hugs)) you are all in my thoughts. (((Hugs))) no judgement here. I’m glad to hear that your son is doing well so far - I hope that you both enjoy your trip to the grocery store, complete with hand washing and wipes!
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Post by refugeepea on Apr 1, 2020 15:52:51 GMT
I’ve had to stop reading the handslapping threads, because it makes me want to tell a lot of people that they should come live in my house for a day and their views of hoarding and what is essential would change. Yeah, I have an insane amount of Snyder's pretzels.
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Post by elaine on Apr 1, 2020 16:12:43 GMT
elaine and refugeepea my heart goes out to both of you. Truly I cannot imagine being in your shoes. My DD has been suffering a lot of paranoia over coronavirus. I keep trying to get her to hurry up and move back here so I can keep a better eye on her. We were at emergency two weeks ago with hallucinations. And it has been tough. I am terribly worried about her mental health. I have put a call into her psychiatrist. I have asked her repeatedly to do the same. I have even given her my emergency meds to help if necessary. So I get a little bit of what you guys are going through. I hope that your daughter is able to get the help she needs - hallucinations are scary for everyone - and moves home for the short term so that you can monitor her.
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Post by finsup on Apr 1, 2020 16:16:32 GMT
Hugs to all of you, especially those of you with the extra struggles. I admire your strength.
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Post by kellapea on Apr 1, 2020 18:54:52 GMT
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jayfab
Drama Llama
procastinating
Posts: 5,521
Jun 26, 2014 21:55:15 GMT
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Post by jayfab on Apr 1, 2020 20:03:26 GMT
(((HUGS))) to all our peas going thru this challenging time. I can't even imagine how difficult this must be for your families.
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Post by lovemybabes on Apr 1, 2020 20:05:17 GMT
I’m in VA, too. I’m so sorry. ((Hugs)) to you, and I’m keeping you in my thoughts. ♥️
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Deleted
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May 12, 2024 12:20:52 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2020 20:14:04 GMT
elaine "I know that other parents here are facing the same challenges." This is what makes you so strong!! You have a great attitude. As strong as you are, we all need feedback and support, and YOU are usually the one to offer it. I hope that you've heard some good feedback on this thread. As a sidenote, my brother and SIL have 2 DD's with schizophrenia. They are now 30 years old (twins). One had to go to a facility to get more care because she became violent (mostly harming herself, but also jumping out of a 2nd story window, etc...). She hears voices often. When she became too much for my SIL to handle on her own, she had to place her in a facility. This facility places the patients in a work program (they're overseen by professionals), they have chores and a routine. They can go home on weekends. My niece calls us often and seems to do better there than at home. Still, it was a tough decision for my SIL. My other niece is able to function at home, work and she goes to psychiatrists (and now to AA--a whole different story!). I wish you the best in your decision. It's never easy. I have my DD32 who is suicidal (bipolar), and that alone is hard to handle. She doesn't drive, barely leaves the house, etc...... She depends on me for everything. I get no help with her at all. Her father doesn't consider mental disorders to be "real", so I have my hands full, but your situation is very serious too. I'm always thinking, "Other people have it much worse..." and I don't stop to acknowledge how tough it is for me. I sense the same with you. Maybe it's what keeps us going. Hugs to you!!
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