georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
Jun 27, 2014 18:02:10 GMT
|
Post by georgiapea on Aug 14, 2020 14:12:27 GMT
It was one meal out of a lifetime of meals. I'd have told her this and reminded her she knew where the kitchen is.
|
|
|
Post by Chips on Aug 14, 2020 14:31:22 GMT
I was in a very similar situation this weekend - it was a crazy busy day, went to a fast food restaurant for food but I forgot to ask my son what he wanted. Knowing his usual order I ordered him a gyro and a chicken sandwich since I did not want to have a disgruntled kid which I have experienced in the past when screwing up his order lol. When I got home I explained this and he actually ate both.
But taking that risk and not checking could of ended up the same way as with your daughter - but like you I was trying to do something nice and took a chance and luckily he appreciated my choice and he was too hungry to complain. Kids sure keep us on our toes!
|
|
|
Post by myshelly on Aug 14, 2020 14:48:26 GMT
I guess I just don’t get that attitude. My kids will always have a home to come back to, that’s literally my job. They don’t have to grovel for it. Would you treat your parents that way? I don’t think the way OP’s DD reacted was ideal, but the question was “would you be upset” and I took that to mean would I be upset if I was in the DD’s position and my answer is yes. I can absolutely see why the DD was upset and I think it’s truly bizarre that anyone would order takeout without taking individual orders. Do I also think the DD could have handled it better? Yes. No, I don’t think I would have thrown a full on fit, but my parents would have asked me what I wanted.
|
|
|
Post by elaine on Aug 14, 2020 14:48:27 GMT
Most of the times I ask when we order out (which has been once a week for the past 5 months).
However, there are some days that I am just too tired to deal with that aspect. I have a family that takes 20+ minutes looking at the menu, asking if we can order from another restaurant which then someone else yells (since everyone is in different parts of the house) that they don’t want to eat from, etc., and then it comes down to them asking for their usual items from the restaurant we are going to eat from. I end up, 30 stressful minutes later, ordering exactly what I would have if I skipped the “everyone’s input” hoopla.
I think, that since the OP ordered something that the daughter typically eats, she did nothing wrong and doesn’t need to apologize. There is/was nothing stopping daughter from using her own money to order food using GrubHub/Door Dash/delivery from individual restaurants. Giving mom the silent treatment for being given a meal free-of-charge and requiring no work on her part is behavior that deserves an apology, imo.
|
|
|
Post by Fidget on Aug 14, 2020 15:36:57 GMT
I think she was rude, she should be thankful you included her. At 20 you could have easily and rightfully not ordered her anything and told her she was on her own for dinner.
|
|
|
Post by curiouscrafter on Aug 14, 2020 21:06:54 GMT
Would you treat your parents that way? I don’t think the way OP’s DD reacted was ideal, but the question was “would you be upset” and I took that to mean would I be upset if I was in the DD’s position and my answer is yes. So this is interesting as I took the "Would you be upset" as the OP, not the DD. and definitely depending on who you are thinking of, could be a pretty big difference to how you would have responded. I responded as "Should I, the OP, be upset"....YES! for the many reasons I've already stated. If I respond as "Should I, the DD, be upset"....YES! I should be upset with myself for being a brat at 20 years old and being like that to my mom, who is only helping me out during this horrid Covid time, especially when I have my own income and can buy/make my own food. *But really, I can't put myself in a 20 year olds shoes now being the age I am. Is that something to be upset about to pout thru dinner? For a 20 year - probably. For everyone else, an eye roll and moving on.
|
|
|
Post by paulao on Aug 14, 2020 22:16:22 GMT
When I was 19 and living at home between college semesters, I ate what my mother put on the table. The OP’s child demonstrated bratty, childish behavior, If I were the OP, I wouldn’t be upset. I’d have a come to Jesus talk with that girl.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 21:05:19 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 14, 2020 22:49:36 GMT
Would I be upset if I was 19 and wasn’t asked? Yes, probably. She’s struggling to become an adult, while living at home, and probably wants to be treated as such, even though you never intended anything by it she probably felt slighted. However, not talking to you is immature behavior and not a good way to show you are an adult. It also could be something else entirely. Maybe yesterday was the day she made a commitment to eat better, or not eat red meat, or become a vegetarian, etc. but hadn’t told anyone yet so you wouldn’t know. It’s a tough age. I’d cut her some slack. This has happen to me before. My family won't don't answer their phones when I am at the restaurant or going through the drive through. The first time I told my daughter "Honey, I know you are stressed about school, work, trying to be an adult, and everything else going on the world. Try to be thankful I ordered food for everyone and not just myself." She apologized, gave me a hug, and moved on. The second time it happened I told my daughter "Act like that again and I won't get you anything next time." She got the hint. Sometimes our adult children still need to be "mothered".
|
|