breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,917
Location: PNW
Jul 20, 2014 21:57:23 GMT
|
Post by breetheflea on Sept 24, 2020 16:51:52 GMT
We've stayed at home as much as possible the last 6 months, DH works from home now 99% of the time. If someone in our house caught COVID DH would have it the worst since he's had pneumonia and bronchitis and acts like he's dying if he catches a cold.
Due to a mandatory order from DH work (he's a non-healthcare worker working for a healthcare provider, I posted about the mandatory order previously and got some Pea Wrath over it) he's working at a clinic handing out masks and taking temperatures today... so our germ free, careful bubble has been popped. I am not amused.
|
|
tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,866
Jun 26, 2014 22:49:09 GMT
|
Post by tracylynn on Sept 24, 2020 16:55:48 GMT
You're certainly not alone. Science is real, whether people choose to "believe in it" or not. 100%. You are validated. I'm in the same boat. My little circle of friends has started getting back together. If there is just a couple of people, and it's outside, with plenty of room, I've joined (usually on someones patio, etc) a couple of times. But last night there was going to be 7 (including me) inside. That's a no go for me. I hate missing out, but I haven't done what I've been doing for the last 6+ months just to go backwards now. The numbers in our County are slightly rising. Getting together is not wise right now.
|
|
|
Post by anxiousmom on Sept 24, 2020 16:56:13 GMT
I’m going to add that I too am tired of hearing the “just stay home if you are scared” mantra.
I want to scream “you fuckwit, I can’t stay home! I have to work sometimes in the office, I have to go to Publix for medication, I am living my life!!”
I am in the vulnerable category and doing what I can do to stay safe but people... I can’t just ignore what’s happening. I get this thing and my outcome is not predicted to be good. But I can’t hide in a cave, so let me do my partial as best I can job of staying away and quit getting up in my space to tell me to just stay home. You can’t have it both ways.
|
|
ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
|
Post by ashley on Sept 24, 2020 16:56:59 GMT
I’ve stopped speaking to people who have accused me of being scared. I don’t need that condescension in my life.
|
|
|
Post by catck on Sept 24, 2020 16:59:00 GMT
I am doing the exact same thing, only out for groceries and walking the dog, DH is still working from home and been told that will continue to the end of the year. We are keeping our distance from everyone so don't feel like you're the only ones. We'd rather be safe than sorry.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 11:40:49 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2020 17:04:38 GMT
I hear ya! We are not doing indoor social events or outdoor events with more than 10 people. I’ve only had one neighbor annoy me about it. It was an engagement party w/300 people invited. I believe only 30-ish eventually attended. Each time I simply said that we are not attending group gatherings. The final, snotty text I just ignored. She did apologize for that.
I don’t owe any person on this earth an explanation for my life choices. I’ll answer to God on those.
|
|
zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
Jul 7, 2014 19:36:30 GMT
|
Post by zella on Sept 24, 2020 17:22:27 GMT
We too are still isolating. My husband worked from home before the pandemic, so no change there. I think the problem is that those of us isolating don't really communicate with others doing the same thing, so we feel, well, isolated. But know that there are many of us. We recently facetimed with two friends in Canada, and one of them is also still isolating because he had a kidney transplant so is on immunosuppressive drugs for life. He can't risk getting Covid. We're not getting any pushback, partly because we don't have any friends or family here, partly because the few people that know our situation know why we do it. So no, you are NOT crazy, you are IMO being super sensible. If everyone did what you're doing, the Covid numbers would plummet. Hang in there, and don't give up.
|
|
|
Post by Basket1lady on Sept 24, 2020 17:27:46 GMT
I go to the grocery store and French class. That’s it. No one comes over to our house and we don’t go to anyone else’s house. And I really, really debated over the French class. But one of us really needs to know how to speak French, the class is small, the classroom doors and windows are open, and I wear a mask 100% of the time.
DH is in quarantine now for a direct contact exposure He’s tested negative, but the rule here is that he still has to quarantine. The guy who popped positive doesn’t know how he got it and he’s very cautious (at least at work). Contact tracing hasn’t found his exposure.
It’s not time to relax our exposure. But I do think we need to evaluate every interaction and try to adapt to make it safe. (I’m thinking of the TOT thread.)
|
|
RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,398
Jun 25, 2014 19:28:04 GMT
|
Post by RosieKat on Sept 24, 2020 17:38:20 GMT
I feel you. DH is working from home still, and our kids are doing online school - a lot of my friends think we're crazy. I don't go out except for pharmacy and grocery trips, and we do get the occasional takeout/curbside/delivery for food. My part time job is getting back into gear and I'm having to explain that while I'm OK with us meeting once in a while, I'm not going to meet once or twice a week like we used to. (It's mostly work that we do from home, but that we need to consult with each other about.) Some of them think I'm crazy for not meeting more, some think I'm crazy for meeting at all.
It's so hard to know what to do in some situations.
|
|
LeaP
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Los Angeles, CA where 405 meets 101
Jun 26, 2014 23:17:22 GMT
|
Post by LeaP on Sept 24, 2020 17:39:49 GMT
Stay strong! You are not alone. Covid is a serious disease with serious lingering side effects. It is not contained and while we are all sick of being indoors and isolated, until we figure out (as a society) how to stop the spread you are doing what you have to do.
We have had a total of 3 people in our house since March for a total of 15 minutes or so.
|
|
PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,744
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
|
Post by PLurker on Sept 24, 2020 17:46:25 GMT
You're not going to change their minds. It's crazy. DD's BFF's extended family recently had a wedding. BFF refused to go. Family ridiculed her. The entire family in attendance got covid. All but one grandpa survived. But he had preexisting condition so he would have died anyway, they excused. and they still think it's a "hoax" and masks are unnecessary. because they survived. Wonder how long it will take them to realize that they too could now be considered to have a preexisting condition and if their cult leader has his way, insurance may become hard to come by for some of them.
|
|
|
Post by Really Red on Sept 24, 2020 17:48:43 GMT
I’ve stopped speaking to people who have accused me of being scared. I don’t need that condescension in my life. Absolutely! supersoda, vent away. You do a LOT more than I do and I haven't had one person say one thing to my face (or ear). They may think it, but they don't say it. I am more in the situation with neighbors who tell me they are being cautious, but they are everywhere! They have no caution whatsoever! They may avoid large gatherings and wear a mask, but they travel all over the place (and use public restrooms), go out to eat, visit friends left and right, etc. You are fine. Ignore everyone else.
|
|
|
Post by tc on Sept 24, 2020 17:49:48 GMT
I had a whole response typed out, but it was depressing me. I'll just say this. I'm responding to anyone who confronts me with some kind of "You have to start living your life again" comment with "We all have to make what we feel is the best choice we can for our families." And let it alone after that. But it is wearing. Very wearing.
|
|
|
Post by crazy4scraps on Sept 24, 2020 17:52:00 GMT
People react negatively because you’re being wise and cautious and considerate, while they are not, and it makes them feel poorly about those choices. This. I don’t drink. Haven’t for over 20 years. It’s exactly like the people I know who routinely drink too much “socially” and who then try to pressure me when I refuse to have a drink with them. If someone else is drinking TOO, then their own drinking problem doesn’t seem quite so bad.
|
|
J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
|
Post by J u l e e on Sept 24, 2020 17:54:33 GMT
I feel like I’ve relaxed and wish I hadn’t. We came back to our office in May. There are only seven of us here and we have our own offices. We wear masks when we’re out of our offices and stay separated at staff meetings, etc.
We also moved in July. We had contractors in our old house before we sold, and movers, and realtors, and contractors in our new house. I’ve hated every bit of that but it was all necessary.
My daughter was also headed to college, so I had to give up most of my worry about that and just kept enforcing good habits before she left. Her campus didn’t actually invite freshmen back after all, so she’s home.
My MIL died and we had her service (less than 50 people spaced out in a large church with masks and an outdoor reception).
It’s scary how quickly that shelter-in-place mindset was relaxed.
We haven’t gone back to church yet though and I do get a bit of a “living in fear/not enough faith” vibe from some people. That bugs me.
|
|
peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,613
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
|
Post by peabay on Sept 24, 2020 18:01:51 GMT
People here in CT are still pretty cautious. I went to a new Wegman's with a friend today and when she got in my car we both realized he hadn't been this close to someone outside our families in 6 months. We kept our masks on in the car out of respect for each other - even though we both knew the other didn't have Covid because our families have all been super careful.
But my FB feed is filled with unmasked people out having fun. I can only do what works for me and my family.
|
|
|
Post by crazy4scraps on Sept 24, 2020 18:04:29 GMT
You're not going to change their minds. It's crazy. DD's BFF's extended family recently had a wedding. BFF refused to go. Family ridiculed her. The entire family in attendance got covid. All but one grandpa survived. But he had preexisting condition so he would have died anyway, they excused. and they still think it's a "hoax" and masks are unnecessary. because they survived. Wonder how long it will take them to realize that they too could now be considered to have a preexisting condition and if their cult leader has his way, insurance may become hard to come by for some of them. It is crazy. My sister doesn’t exactly think it’s a hoax but she does take the attitude that it’s NBD because her DDIL had it (actually tested positive), she is sure her son and toddler DGD also had it and, hey, they all recovered just fine. Everybody’s going to get it eventually, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Her DS and DDIL also went to the Covid hotspot FL for their anniversary right in the thick of it. Who does that? The thing I keep pounding home is that a lot of people have gotten it and DIDN’T end up okay. They ended up dead. And you never know which chamber the bullet is in when it’s pointed right at your head. I told her my BFF tested positive about five weeks ago and still isn’t back to 100%, and may not ever be. Why would anyone take that chance of getting something unknown that can cause permanent bodily harm?
|
|
|
Post by christine58 on Sept 24, 2020 18:07:53 GMT
I think that the finger-pointing/gaslighting or whatever you wanna call it goes both ways. Do I leave my house? Absolutely I do. I see my mother every day who lives next-door, I’d run to the grocery store when needed, I go to the post office, I go get my haircut and my nails done, taking every precaution needed. I’ve also eaten in a restaurant four times since the first of July.
But I also live someplace where this virus is pretty much nonexistent and has been nonexistent since March. The county I live in has maybe had 100 cases and no deaths. People have to do what they’re comfortable doing. Do I go hang out in a group of 300 people, absolutely not. Do I socially distance on my deck with some friends on occasion, absolutely I do.
So the finger-pointing goes both ways. I would never criticize anybody who has decided to truly limit what they do outside their house. But there’s many people who have to leave their house and go to work. We all have the brains to do what’s right for ourselves, least I hope we do. You owe no one an explanation for why you are still quarantining or limiting what you do just like I owe no one an explanation as to why I will take the precautions and go to the grocery store or get my nails done or go eat in a restaurant with a friend.
|
|
|
Post by Merge on Sept 24, 2020 18:09:08 GMT
Our closest friends are like you. They’re not going anywhere or seeing anyone.
Try to remember that not everyone has the privilege of working from home. In the case of our friends, he can work from home and she homeschools their kids. For those of us who have been or will soon be forced to return to in-person work, it can feel pointless to continue to decline outdoor dinner with friends at a distance if we’re already being exposed at work.
|
|
smginaz Suzy
Pearl Clutcher
Je suis desole.
Posts: 2,606
Jun 26, 2014 17:27:30 GMT
|
Post by smginaz Suzy on Sept 24, 2020 18:24:10 GMT
I wonder what the Venn diagram would look like for the groups mentioned here with the groups who cannot see the difference between participating in a protest for basic human rights or attending a packed worship rally in a closed arena.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 11:40:49 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2020 18:24:24 GMT
This is all to say that I'm really frustrated with the constant need to defend myself for my family's decision to remain cautious. We're not living in fear. We're not being irrational. We're not failing to "live our lives" (as I was told yesterday). But I feel like we're the only people we know who are exercising a high level of caution. The longer this goes on, the more I get called out and I'm just so over it. So, PVM, or share your stories, or add your own vent. I guess I'm just looking for someone to commiserate with. I validate you and posted something similar last month I think. My family thinks I am crazy for all my "Doomsday" precautions. My sister who works in an ER is going to Vegas with girlfriends from the same hospital. They think it is awesome they get first responder hotel discounts. She is planning our Christmas. I know she will kill me if I am not there. I am already stressing over Christmas and it is September. She talked my mom into going out to eat in Olive Garden the other day. My mom is immunocompromised. It's beyond stressful. And it is easy enough to say, "You do you" etc...but then you start to wonder...am I insane? So many people just doing whatever, am I really the crazy one?
|
|
Loydene
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,639
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Jul 8, 2014 16:31:47 GMT
|
Post by Loydene on Sept 24, 2020 18:47:36 GMT
WE are still with you. Of course, I don't have the "professional setting" aspect of your post. I do go to the grocery store - with masks and a lot of hand sanitizer! and take care of business pretty quickly. We don't eat out - but we do carry out. I haven't seen my son since before Christmas - he is coming to visit this week --- we will be wearing a mask -he will be wearing a mask -- it makes me sad to think I shouldn't hug him, but he isn't being as careful, he is also a first responder -- I don't want to give him anything, I don't want to get anything!
|
|
|
Post by manda on Sept 24, 2020 20:34:48 GMT
People should do what they are comfortable with and allow others to what’s comfortable to them.
I spent the summer doing IVF and am pregnant now so basically never leave the house and will be taking extra precautions as we go into winter.
However, for my mental health I have dined outdoors and saw two girlfriends at the beach recently. Masks and social distancing used.
If and when I do see people other than doctor appointments, it’s outside and I don’t do anything else for ten - fourteen days just in Case the person I saw was sick and I got it. For instance, a cycling friend stopped by two months ago and we sat in my driveway and chatted for an hour.
All of this I do and yet, my police officer fiancé is and has been working through all of this and is regularly exposed to people with COVID including the frequent protests with large groups of people with and without masks.
Sooo... :shrug: part of me is admittedly skeptical (I’m not sure what since I believe it’s real) but I do my part as a member of society; if he gets it and passes it to me I don’t want to pass it to others AND I don’t want to get it while pregnant.
|
|
|
Post by summer on Sept 24, 2020 20:40:17 GMT
I haven't been going anywhere I don't absolutely have to to. My friends do not ask to get together. We text or FaceTime. Masks are mandatory where I live, so no one gives you a hard time about wearing them, everyone complies.
|
|
kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,517
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
|
Post by kate on Sept 24, 2020 21:30:07 GMT
I am back to work full-time, and I spend an hour on public transportation to get there. I wish everyone took the safety protocols at work a bit more seriously - the rules are already more lax than I would like, and some people don't even follow those! I need my job and my health insurance, though, so I'm going to keep my head down and do what I have to do. We're starting to get invitations for outdoor-bar drinks with friends and roof-deck birthday parties. I am declining those - I am okay meeting outdoors, but not when masks are off (i.e. when there's food or drink). I know some people's feelings are hurt because they know I'm already with some unmasked kids at school, but that is exactly why I don't want to add any MORE exposure. I want to be able to see my parents again someday.
|
|
|
Post by Tammiem2pnc1 on Sept 24, 2020 21:36:05 GMT
We've been the same way. My health is not great and I am in the high risk category. Our numbers are on the rise again. I'm so over people telling me I'm living in fear. The only time I go anywhere is to the cancer center for my biweekly infusions. We will go for drives with the top down on our jeep in nice weather. We don't go out to eat, we don't go to stores and I don't attend any events. Some family think that because they are "family" I shouldn't stay away from them. I guess you can't get covid from family members, especially those who seem to gather constantly with groups and not wear masks? I guess I missed that memo. Am I tired of being at home constantly...abso-freaking-lutely. But I'm just not willing to risk it right now.
|
|
J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
|
Post by J u l e e on Sept 24, 2020 21:40:54 GMT
Congratulations, manda! That’s exciting news!
|
|
scrappinwithoutpeas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,914
Location: Northern Virginia
Aug 7, 2014 22:09:44 GMT
|
Post by scrappinwithoutpeas on Sept 24, 2020 21:46:06 GMT
We are doing the same as you, and getting a small amount of push-back from some people (a few family and friends). We are not changing our ways, and will continue to be cautious and wear masks, stay home except for necessary trips, etc. I don't think you should have to justify it, but if people question you directly, just say something like "This is what our family is doing." Period. End of story.
|
|
|
Post by flanz on Sept 24, 2020 21:51:13 GMT
We don't socialize either. We have turned down all invitations. No one has really said anything to use. The few that I do I just tell them that if my dh gets sick we stand to lose everything. His business would go under and we don't have anything to fallback on like most people with just a job. that usually takes care of that. That's serious and compelling. And in truth, the people commenting don't need your "reason", as valid as it is.
|
|
|
Post by flanz on Sept 24, 2020 21:54:01 GMT
DH and I live alone and we continue to be very careful, as you are being. I do run out to Costco or TJs shortly before closing (stores are quiet, feels very safe and I'm not in there long) once in a while and we've had some friends visit in the backyard, sitting about 12 feet apart. You are doing the smart, responsible thing. I'm sorry that many around you disagree. We are lucky here in that the vast majority of people are being as careful, or more careful, than we are. Stay strong!
|
|