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Post by atomicdog on Jan 14, 2022 10:51:56 GMT
I'm so, so very sorry - praying for comfort for you.
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scrappington
Pearl Clutcher
in Canada
Posts: 3,139
Jun 26, 2014 14:43:10 GMT
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Post by scrappington on Jan 14, 2022 11:29:52 GMT
I'm so sorry. I wish the pain could go away with something that someone could do.
Always post if it's unbearable someone will always listen.
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Post by Basket1lady on Jan 14, 2022 11:53:23 GMT
I’m so sorry for your pain. I didn’t want to read and run.
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Post by Patter on Jan 14, 2022 11:57:02 GMT
I am so incredibly sorry, Really Red. I have been praying for you, and I cannot imagine your grief. Have you thought about grief share or a Stephen Minister? Both are amazing. Grief Share has local groups and or you can just get a daily email of encouragement to help you a bit. You can sign up via the link below. And if you feel led, look around the site and see what else you can find that you may be drawn to right now. www.griefshare.org/dailyemailsAlso, hearing about your son and his compassion for others has touched all of us. Writing about him could be very healing for you too. Handwriting might be even more meaningful to you. Some days you may want to scribble on the page in anger. And that would be totally okay. You may end up doing that for days on end. Again, okay! Slowly the actual words may get on paper. Each day may become more legible than the next. It may be a good way to start. Feel free to PM me. I am praying.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,620
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jan 14, 2022 12:14:00 GMT
Glad you reached out to someone and were able to feel a bit better. I want to second the recommendation of Compassionate Friends. They will understand your pain.
In the meantime, we can be your compassionate friends. Sending you lots of love.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jan 14, 2022 12:15:18 GMT
So many (((Hugs)))
There are not words that I can say to make it better. But you are not alone. We all stand with you. We know you are facing the greatest of pain, the most enormous of injuries to your very soul, and we are here to listen, to hear your truth, and bear witness to what you feel. Everything you feel is valid.
Gentle hugs, pea friend.
Please come back to us, again and again, to share your truth and your heart whenever you feel the want to do so.
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Post by Restless Spirit on Jan 14, 2022 12:35:26 GMT
I’m so, so sorry for your loss. Please know that we are here. We do care. Your feelings are heard and validated. You are not alone. We cannot take away the pain, but we can and will listen.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jan 14, 2022 12:50:34 GMT
As I read through this thread I see you did reach out and it was helpful. There’s a lesson in that. Perhaps these suggestions for Compassionate Friends or other groups might resonate with you as a way to process your grief. Losing a beloved child at an unnatural age is overwhelming. You aren’t meant to do this alone.
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cakediva
Drama Llama
Making the world a sweeter place one cake at a time!
Posts: 7,446
Location: Fergus, Ontario
Jun 26, 2014 11:53:40 GMT
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Post by cakediva on Jan 14, 2022 13:23:02 GMT
((((Hugs))))
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Post by lily on Jan 14, 2022 13:39:37 GMT
I am SO sorry. I have been where you are after losing our son when he was 19. Also had SO MANY people at the service tell me how wonderful he was and everything he did for them.
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Jan 14, 2022 13:42:41 GMT
Your son left quite a wonderful legacy. Huge (((hugs))) to you.
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Post by stormsts on Jan 14, 2022 14:03:57 GMT
I am so sorry for your pain! He sounds like a wonderful young man. Hugs to you.
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Post by mikklynn on Jan 14, 2022 14:07:40 GMT
I am so sorry. Of course you are still hurting. I hope you will continue to reach out to us here and to your other friends. They want to help, I know they do.
I hope you will continue to share memories about your wonderful son. You obviously raised a really terrific person.
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anniebeth24
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,552
Jun 26, 2014 14:12:17 GMT
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Post by anniebeth24 on Jan 14, 2022 14:16:34 GMT
Sending hugs and prayers for comfort and peace in your heart. Hope we can help you in some small way by walking through this with you.
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Post by cannmom on Jan 14, 2022 14:29:37 GMT
I am so very sorry. I wish you peace.
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Post by Jennifer C on Jan 14, 2022 14:34:19 GMT
I am praying for you and sending you hugs.
Jennifer
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Post by Horse scrap on Jan 14, 2022 14:38:07 GMT
I want to echo what a previous pea suggested. Grief Share has helped my mom so much with the loss of my dad. To the point that she has a new group of friends (young and old) who have lost someone in their life (mostly either a child or spouse). She says it makes her feel that the grief and all of the emotions that come with it, are ok and normal.
Please remember that grief is something you go THROUGH, not around or over it. What about writing/journaling the stories you have been told about your son, and stories that you remember? Then you will have it for years to look back and "feel" him again. Just a thought. Sending many hugs and prayers.
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iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,292
Location: Michigan
Member is Online
Jul 13, 2014 12:40:31 GMT
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Post by iluvpink on Jan 14, 2022 14:44:30 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss and your pain.
I too agree that your feelings are TOTALLY normal. I'm glad talking to your niece helped a little.
Your son sounds like an amazing person.
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peppermintpatty
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1345
Posts: 3,843
Jun 26, 2014 17:47:08 GMT
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Post by peppermintpatty on Jan 14, 2022 15:25:22 GMT
You can't stop it, you have to push through it. I'm sure you have been told this over and over and it isn't any real consolation but the best thing is to let it out, let it all out, let it out until you realize there isn't anything else to let out. Then move on for the moment. It will hit you again and again but hopefully it will come less and less. The pain will be replaced with good memories. You will stop and smile and think of the wonderful man he was.
I am sorry you are hurting so much. Grief is an ugly monster that works on it's own schedule as much as we would love to be able to control it.
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Post by lisae on Jan 14, 2022 15:47:32 GMT
I'm so sorry. {{hugs}} There are always people on this board all the time. We aren't grief counselors but we are your friends. I'm glad you reached out.
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Post by Monica* on Jan 14, 2022 16:17:55 GMT
I am so sorry sweet girl. I have a lump in my throat for you right now. Keep the faith and remember God is watching over you, even in the depths of despair. Continue to reach out.
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quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,709
Location: CANADA
Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Jan 14, 2022 16:21:23 GMT
I am also feeling your pain.
Tuesday marked the date of when my dd's time on earth = her time in heaven.
I simply cannot believe that I have been able to continue on in this earthly life this long since her death.
( ( ( hugs ) ) )
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Post by scrapmaven on Jan 14, 2022 16:26:48 GMT
Keep reaching out to us and tell stories about your very kind and brave son. I, too think a support group could be very helpful. You are not alone and seeking out other parents who have experienced this profound loss is going to allow you to engage w/others who share your tragic loss.
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Post by wallyagain on Jan 14, 2022 16:44:25 GMT
My heart hurts for you. I can’t even imagine the pain.
Big hugs and keep telling us his story.
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oh yvonne
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,003
Jun 26, 2014 0:45:23 GMT
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Post by oh yvonne on Jan 14, 2022 17:03:04 GMT
sitting here with you, sending you love. So many here have shared more eloquently than I can, but I'm here too.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 20, 2024 16:21:03 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2022 17:35:04 GMT
I'm so sorry, I wish I had something better to say or some magic that could take away the pain that is so evident in your words. Please share as much about your son as you feel able, the Peas are great listeners.
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Post by 3SugarBugs on Jan 14, 2022 17:42:20 GMT
I sent you a message, big hugs my friend.
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Post by catck on Jan 14, 2022 17:52:06 GMT
I'm so sorry for your terrible loss. Feel free to turn to the Peas whenever you need to, we are all here for you. Your son sounds such an amazing young man so caring. Take care, hugs.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 20, 2024 16:21:03 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 14, 2022 17:58:46 GMT
@really Red : Hugs to you. I cannot imagine losing a child. He sounded very special and incredible. It does seem that the more wonderful the person was, the more deeply we feel the loss. I'm glad you're speaking with a grief specialist. I totally understand the difficulties of reaching out to someone at all hours of the day when you're having a rough time. I'd bring it up with your grief counselor.
I lost my sweet, dear, dear husband 7 weeks ago today. I do have family, a grief counselor and some friends BUT I know what you mean. At this point many people in my tight circle think I should already be working on myself, getting a job and moving on (yet honoring DH). I still can hardly eat or sleep. EVERYTHING revolved around him. It's hard to find yourself in the overwhelming sense of loss. I'm trying.
What I began weeks ago was to start a journal. I write it TO my DH vs just jotting my feelings and my day. It feels better to think of somehow sending it to him, and to be writing it all down. Maybe that would help you?? I don't want to forget all of the special qualities of DH and the very special life we shared.
I do hope that you find a way to still "speak" to him and make it a bit easier. I can imagine how difficult it is without him. At 7 weeks, DD and I are able to share some laughs about "Gary memories". I hope that I can remember him with smiles and warmth and laughter, but it is still so very hard and painful right now.
Please try to take care of yourself. You could always write on here when you're having a rough time. xo
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Post by shescrafty on Jan 14, 2022 18:07:00 GMT
I wish I could give you ideas on something that would help and make you feel better, but I know that nothing will replace the void that is in your life. Early on after my daughter died, I would go in the shower and let it all out. For some reason the hot shower felt very cathartic. Almost 6 years later I still find that to be a good place to release. I also have my best friend who has been just amazing. You need to find someone that you can “let go” with-be it a friend or through grief share or counseling.
Feel free to message me if you feel as if you want to share. I think we would all love to hear more about him.
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