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Post by elaine on Dec 28, 2022 16:39:47 GMT
I realize that she had experienced a lot of trauma and that she was a recent widow, but at some point you have to rely on your own strength, courage, and knowledge to move forward, no matter how imperfect or different your life circumstances are. I do agree with this, but not everyone has the same resiliency, which can make it hard to pull yourself up. I know people who have gone through very traumatic things that came out on the other side as lovely, strong people, while others who experienced the same type of thing never really recovered and became bitter and angry. I believe this too.
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pantsonfire
Pearl Clutcher
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 4,762
Jun 19, 2022 16:48:04 GMT
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Post by pantsonfire on Dec 28, 2022 16:41:49 GMT
I do agree with this, but not everyone has the same resiliency, which can make it hard to pull yourself up. I know people who have gone through very traumatic things that came out on the other side as lovely, strong people, while others who experienced the same type of thing never really recovered and became bitter and angry. I believe this too. Same. And witnessed it with an ex family member. And there are some who unfortunately try to tear others down and make them feel horrible because they want others to feel the same pain they do. It sucks.
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Post by onelasttime on Dec 28, 2022 17:13:32 GMT
Yes We can be nasty to people who are struggling. I hope she’s okay. That is some revisionist history. She didn't like the constructive and polite advice she was getting and hair flipped out over it. Constructive & polite? Seriously? Funny what comes to mind that regardless of what the original intent of her thread was, it turned into a pile on with a very nasty slant. It started with something to do with her car that went south so she asked for the thread to be locked because I guess she didn’t want anymore negative/nasty comments about her posted. And when the thread was locked that started a whole new round of negative/nasty comments that went way beyond her car to just about every aspect of her life. So she left.
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Post by Skellinton on Dec 28, 2022 17:32:02 GMT
That is some revisionist history. She didn't like the constructive and polite advice she was getting and hair flipped out over it. Constructive & polite? Seriously? Funny what comes to mind that regardless of what the original intent of her thread was, it turned into a pile on with a very nasty slant. It started with something to do with her car that went south so she asked for the thread to be locked because I guess she didn’t want anymore negative/nasty comments about her posted. And when the thread was locked that started a whole new round of negative/nasty comments that went way beyond her car to just about every aspect of her life. So she left. You can think what you want, but there was plenty of helpful and polite help offered in that thread. I am pretty sure she left before that second thread was started. That second thread was a train wreck/. The initial thread was full of helpful advice and she ignored or made excises about every thing people suggested. I don’t think it was nasty at all, obviously you disagree, which is fine with me. There are plenty of people who saw it the same way I did, and plenty who saw it as nasty. I honestly don’t think it turned ugly until after she hair flipped out of here.
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Post by christine58 on Dec 28, 2022 17:39:07 GMT
I’ve been in touch with her via Facebook. She’s doing ok. How is she managing to get by? Did she find another job? I’m not sure how she’s getting by. I know she’s still looking for a job. I haven’t touched base with her in a few days.
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Post by mayceesgranny on Dec 28, 2022 17:44:32 GMT
WOWSA - I missed all of that.
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Post by gizzy on Dec 28, 2022 18:22:00 GMT
That's a shame. I hope she decides to return.
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Post by epeanymous on Dec 28, 2022 18:42:26 GMT
WOWSA - I missed all of that. Meee tooooo and I am here most days.
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Post by birukitty on Dec 28, 2022 21:06:10 GMT
Constructive & polite? Seriously? Funny what comes to mind that regardless of what the original intent of her thread was, it turned into a pile on with a very nasty slant. It started with something to do with her car that went south so she asked for the thread to be locked because I guess she didn’t want anymore negative/nasty comments about her posted. And when the thread was locked that started a whole new round of negative/nasty comments that went way beyond her car to just about every aspect of her life. So she left. You can think what you want, but there was plenty of helpful and polite help offered in that thread. I am pretty sure she left before that second thread was started. That second thread was a train wreck/. The initial thread was full of helpful advice and she ignored or made excises about every thing people suggested. I don’t think it was nasty at all, obviously you disagree, which is fine with me. There are plenty of people who saw it the same way I did, and plenty who saw it as nasty. I honestly don’t think it turned ugly until after she hair flipped out of here. From what I recall there was no second thread. It was a continuation of the same thread. My point is after the discussion ended regarding fixing her car it went downhill fast and turned ugly and vicious. Extremely vicious. You don't think she read all of it-the entire 22+ pages? She did. I know because I was in touch with her on PM. There were Peas who pulled up situations that had occured over 20 years ago on the board regarding BB. 20 years ago! It was like they were desperate to dig up any dirt they could. The name calling, nasty comments and disgusting things that were posted about BB were some of the worst things I've read on here and I've been here over 20 years. BB couldn't understand why people were writing things like this about her. I don't blame her one bit for leaving and not coming back. If it had been me I would have been devastated and wouldn't have come back either. None of us are perfect. We've all made mistakes in our past.
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Post by dnkmmw on Dec 28, 2022 21:26:49 GMT
You can think what you want, but there was plenty of helpful and polite help offered in that thread. I am pretty sure she left before that second thread was started. That second thread was a train wreck/. The initial thread was full of helpful advice and she ignored or made excises about every thing people suggested. I don’t think it was nasty at all, obviously you disagree, which is fine with me. There are plenty of people who saw it the same way I did, and plenty who saw it as nasty. I honestly don’t think it turned ugly until after she hair flipped out of here. From what I recall there was no second thread. It was a continuation of the same thread. My point is after the discussion ended regarding fixing her car it went downhill fast and turned ugly and vicious. Extremely vicious. You don't think she read all of it-the entire 22+ pages? She did. I know because I was in touch with her on PM. There were two threads. The first thread was the initial thread about BB's car issue. I thought there was some good advice and suggestions given. After BB ignored the advice given and continued to say there was nothing she could do, the thread went a bit off the rails. Then BB asked for that thread to be locked. Someone thought the thread being locked was weird and started a new thread to question it. That's when the past was brought up.
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Post by lisae on Dec 28, 2022 21:34:58 GMT
can I vent here without attempting to fix it for me Unfortunately that seldom works. You will get advice whether you want it or not. I'm guilty of giving advice on vent threads also. It is just the way it works here. I hope she is well and has supportive friends and family.
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,883
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Dec 28, 2022 21:40:16 GMT
can I vent here without attempting to fix it for me Unfortunately that seldom works. You will get advice whether you want it or not. I'm guilty of giving advice on vent threads also. It is just the way it works here. I hope she is well and has supportive friends and family. True, which is why I'm not one to vent here.
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Post by birukitty on Dec 28, 2022 22:35:57 GMT
From what I recall there was no second thread. It was a continuation of the same thread. My point is after the discussion ended regarding fixing her car it went downhill fast and turned ugly and vicious. Extremely vicious. You don't think she read all of it-the entire 22+ pages? She did. I know because I was in touch with her on PM. There were two threads. The first thread was the initial thread about BB's car issue. I thought there was some good advice and suggestions given. After BB ignored the advice given and continued to say there was nothing she could do, the thread went a bit off the rails. Then BB asked for that thread to be locked. Someone thought the thread being locked was weird and started a new thread to question it. That's when the past was brought up. Okay, I stand corrected.
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
Jul 7, 2014 19:36:30 GMT
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Post by zella on Dec 29, 2022 16:54:54 GMT
I'd be surprised if she returned after the last brouhaha. She's doing okay. She has a new job. Too soon to say if it will be a good fit. She made it through the holiday surprisingly well for being away from family and being a fairly new widow. We keep in touch. My stupid dementia is preventing me from getting the name of the lovely pea who met her in person... one of the sweetest... dang it... names are the first thing to go I'm afraid... wait, was it jenjie?
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Post by smasonnc on Dec 29, 2022 17:08:09 GMT
There was that...but there was also the several long time posters here who outed her lesbian stalker history on the old board. Wait, what? 🍿🍿🍿
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Post by littlemama on Dec 29, 2022 17:20:14 GMT
I'd be surprised if she returned after the last brouhaha. She's doing okay. She has a new job. Too soon to say if it will be a good fit. She made it through the holiday surprisingly well for being away from family and being a fairly new widow. We keep in touch. My stupid dementia is preventing me from getting the name of the lovely pea who met her in person... one of the sweetest... dang it... names are the first thing to go I'm afraid... wait, was it jenjie? Yes, jenjie has spent time with her
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Post by Skellinton on Dec 29, 2022 18:42:24 GMT
There was that...but there was also the several long time posters here who outed her lesbian stalker history on the old board. Wait, what? 🍿🍿🍿 I hate that the quote feature shows that I said that which I did not.
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Post by christine58 on Dec 29, 2022 19:08:31 GMT
I'd be surprised if she returned after the last brouhaha. She's doing okay. She has a new job. Too soon to say if it will be a good fit. She made it through the holiday surprisingly well for being away from family and being a fairly new widow. We keep in touch. My stupid dementia is preventing me from getting the name of the lovely pea who met her in person... one of the sweetest... dang it... names are the first thing to go I'm afraid... wait, was it jenjie ? Touched base with her a little over a week ago and the job she had with the two babies she doesn’t have anymore. Hopefully she’s got something new
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Post by jenjie on Dec 29, 2022 19:51:31 GMT
I'd be surprised if she returned after the last brouhaha. She's doing okay. She has a new job. Too soon to say if it will be a good fit. She made it through the holiday surprisingly well for being away from family and being a fairly new widow. We keep in touch. My stupid dementia is preventing me from getting the name of the lovely pea who met her in person... one of the sweetest... dang it... names are the first thing to go I'm afraid... wait, was it jenjie? That was me. I haven’t talked with her in awhile, my takeaway from her Fb is the same as what you just shared.
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Post by mikewozowski on Dec 30, 2022 17:31:15 GMT
lesbian stalker history? i must have been absent that day.
link?
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Post by gar on Dec 30, 2022 20:22:40 GMT
lesbian stalker history? i must have been absent that day. link? I think there was a link upthread?
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Post by Scrapper100 on Dec 30, 2022 21:39:16 GMT
I'd be surprised if she returned after the last brouhaha. She's doing okay. She has a new job. Too soon to say if it will be a good fit. She made it through the holiday surprisingly well for being away from family and being a fairly new widow. We keep in touch. My stupid dementia is preventing me from getting the name of the lovely pea who met her in person... one of the sweetest... dang it... names are the first thing to go I'm afraid... wait, was it jenjie? Glad to hear she has a new job snd doing well.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Dec 30, 2022 21:43:54 GMT
Could we let this tread die? She is making the best of a shitty situation and my hope is someone will be benevolent in her family will move Bb and DD to Long Island.
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leeny
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,637
Location: Northern California
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 1:55:53 GMT
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Post by leeny on Dec 30, 2022 21:54:06 GMT
Could we let this tread die? She is making the best of a shitty situation and my hope is someone will be benevolent in her family will move Bb and DD to Long Island. Maybe you could get the thread locked
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Post by dnkmmw on Dec 30, 2022 22:04:14 GMT
Could we let this tread die? She is making the best of a shitty situation and my hope is someone will be benevolent in her family will move Bb and DD to Long Island. Maybe you could get the thread locked
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Post by mollycoddle on Dec 30, 2022 22:05:32 GMT
Could we let this tread die? She is making the best of a shitty situation and my hope is someone will be benevolent in her family will move Bb and DD to Long Island. We can hope, but some Peas who always struck me as nice have been fairly shitty. It’s disappointing, but not really surprising.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Dec 30, 2022 22:06:40 GMT
Could we let this tread die? She is making the best of a shitty situation and my hope is someone will be benevolent in her family will move Bb and DD to Long Island. Maybe you could get the thread locked I messaged admin to see.
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Post by gar on Dec 30, 2022 22:10:29 GMT
Maybe you could get the thread locked I messaged admin to see. Oh please…
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,883
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Dec 30, 2022 22:14:13 GMT
If you want a thread to go away, the best thing to do is not post on it.
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lindas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,159
Jun 26, 2014 5:46:37 GMT
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Post by lindas on Dec 30, 2022 22:18:21 GMT
I guess the new trend is going to be when you don’t like the way a thread is going you request it be locked.
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