inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Dec 30, 2022 22:18:22 GMT
There was thoughtful, constructive advice given by some in both threads. Many peas felt that BB abused their kindness and generosity, which I think is fair to discuss.
But a lot of what was said was just mean. I have my opinions of the situation (especially regarding the adult daughter who contributes nothing), but...sharing them with BB felt pointless.
Partly because of what many of you have mentioned, but also because I think she is just an incredibly sad person who is in a really tough place in life.
I am not always the kindest person, but this felt, and still feels, like us picking on a vulnerable person. Some of the comments in this thread seem incredibly mean spirited.
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Post by mollycoddle on Dec 30, 2022 22:30:35 GMT
There was thoughtful, constructive advice given by some in both threads. Many peas felt that BB abused their kindness and generosity, which I think is fair to discuss. But a lot of what was said was just mean. I have my opinions of the situation (especially regarding the adult daughter who contributes nothing), but...sharing them with BB felt pointless. Partly because of what many of you have mentioned, but also because I think she is just an incredibly sad person who is in a really tough place in life. I am not always the kindest person, but this felt, and still feels, like us picking on a vulnerable person. Some of the comments in this thread seem incredibly mean spirited. This. ^^^^ And they ARE mean-spirited.
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Post by lucyg on Dec 30, 2022 22:37:52 GMT
I think nice people are entitled to have a differing opinion, too.
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Post by Basket1lady on Dec 30, 2022 22:48:03 GMT
There was thoughtful, constructive advice given by some in both threads. Many peas felt that BB abused their kindness and generosity, which I think is fair to discuss. But a lot of what was said was just mean. I have my opinions of the situation (especially regarding the adult daughter who contributes nothing), but...sharing them with BB felt pointless. Partly because of what many of you have mentioned, but also because I think she is just an incredibly sad person who is in a really tough place in life. I am not always the kindest person, but this felt, and still feels, like us picking on a vulnerable person. Some of the comments in this thread seem incredibly mean spirited. I agree. Wherever you stand on the issue, it’s been discussed already. What is the point of rehashing it? What would be gained by it? BB is in a vulnerable place and got some solace in posting here. It took nothing from me to listen and commiserate. Some people are just the type to need rescuing. As intelligent women, we have the choice as to whether or not to contribute to her needs. I just don’t see the point in dredging this all up again.
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Post by gar on Dec 30, 2022 22:49:09 GMT
I think nice people are entitled to have a differing opinion, too. I agree. Some people have good reason to feel differently.
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pantsonfire
Pearl Clutcher
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 4,762
Jun 19, 2022 16:48:04 GMT
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Post by pantsonfire on Dec 30, 2022 23:12:02 GMT
I think nice people are entitled to have a differing opinion, too. This 100%. Nice/kind people get mad too. And frustrated. And upset. And angry. And hurt. And cry. And aren't always nice/kind. Nor should someone be that allllll the time. Not fair to them to always have to be kind/nice. They should be able to feel their feelings and speak how they see things.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Dec 30, 2022 23:15:22 GMT
We are all allowed(unless the admin says otherwise) to post on any thread, at any given time.
If there is a thread, topic, subject that a member doesn't like or doesn't care for, they don't have to participate. Don't open the thread, scroll on by. I do it often, in regards to subjects and topics that are not of interest to me, or that I don't want to engage in.
The only one who can lock a thread or declare the thread >> done, closed, over, etc... is the admin. A member trying to declare and dictate a thread "over, done, matter closed", is called policing the message board. Just because someone doesn't like the topic of conversation, doesn't give them the right to keep the others from posting on any given thread.
I for one, will post on any thread that I want to, and no one (other than the admin) will dictate to me.....when I can or cannot post or on what thread.
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pantsonfire
Pearl Clutcher
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 4,762
Jun 19, 2022 16:48:04 GMT
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Post by pantsonfire on Dec 30, 2022 23:48:56 GMT
We are all allowed(unless the admin says otherwise) to post on any thread, at any given time. If there is a thread, topic, subject that a member doesn't like or doesn't care for, they don't have to participate. Don't open the thread, scroll on by. I do it often, in regards to subjects and topics that are not of interest to me, or that I don't want to engage in. The only one who can lock a thread or declare the thread >> done, closed, over, etc... is the admin. A member trying to declare and dictate a thread "over, done, matter closed", is called policing the message board. Just because someone doesn't like the topic of conversation, doesn't give them the right to keep the others from posting on any given thread. I for one, will post on any thread that I want to, and no one (other than the admin) will dictate to me.....when I can or cannot post or on what thread. And I hope admin doesn't lock this thread or any others. I don't agree with that at all.
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Post by allison1954 on Dec 30, 2022 23:57:47 GMT
I guess the new trend is going to be when you don’t like the way a thread is going you request it be locked. I find that concept to be absolute crap, TBH. Locking threads only makes things worse.
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lindas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,159
Jun 26, 2014 5:46:37 GMT
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Post by lindas on Dec 31, 2022 0:18:58 GMT
I guess the new trend is going to be when you don’t like the way a thread is going you request it be locked. I find that concept to be absolute crap, TBH. Locking threads only makes things worse. Exactly. If the first thread hadn’t been locked the second one would never have been started.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Dec 31, 2022 2:57:36 GMT
I think nice people are entitled to have a differing opinion, too. Definitely. But what's kind about the 'lesbian stalker' stuff that isn't even relevant to the locked thread? What's kind about repeatedly mentioning how annoyed we were by her failure to take our advice? As I said, I don't think it's mean to say you (universal "you") felt your kindness and generosity were abused. And many said just that. For me, it's the way the charges of her being a "lesbian stalker" have been leveled and repeated. It wasn't brought here to warn people. It was brought up solely to embarrass BB. And the way some are a ting like this is such salacious and delicious gossip. I don't know how one can deny the mean spirited nature of some of these comments.
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peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,389
Aug 16, 2014 23:15:53 GMT
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Post by peaname on Dec 31, 2022 3:05:27 GMT
I think the diversity here helps us all see different perspectives. I know I’ve learned a lot from other peas’ situations that help me have more compassion for people in my everyday life. We don’t have to like everyone. We don’t have to agree with their actions or expect them to take advice even when it’s the majority opinion. But when we allow one or two people to bully and chase peas away we all lose. Maybe that was the beauty of the smack blog or whatever it was called because it gave people an outlet to be assholes and get it out elsewhere and kept the main board a bit kinder.
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Post by pjaye on Dec 31, 2022 3:44:29 GMT
But what's kind about the 'lesbian stalker' stuff that isn't even relevant to the locked thread? What is "unkind" about mentioning it? There was a thread, fairly recently and that topic became a major part of that thread...those are just the facts. Whether any one person believes those things or not is up to each individual. I didn't say it was true - I said it was brought up (and FTR I didn't participate in that particular part of the discussion) I linked it so people who want to know what happened can read it and make up their own minds...FFS, we are all adults here no-one needs to censor what is talked about or what other people are allowed to read for themselves. Are a few hundred regular posters supposed to keep a 23 page thread a secret?
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Dec 31, 2022 3:49:22 GMT
But what's kind about the 'lesbian stalker' stuff that isn't even relevant to the locked thread? What is "unkind" about mentioning it? There was a thread, fairly recently and that topic became a major part of that thread...those are just the facts. Whether any one person believes those things or not is up to each individual. I didn't say it was true - I said it was brought up (and FTR I didn't participate in that particular part of the discussion) I linked it so people who want to know what happened can read it and make up their own minds...FFS, we are all adults here no-one needs to censor what is talked about or what other people are allowed to read for themselves. Are a few hundred regular posters supposed to keep a 23 page thread a secret? I'm sorry, did I say no one was entitled to be a straight fucking gossipy bitch here? No one is stopping anyone from tittering about a lesbian love affair from 20 years ago. But, likewise, no one is stopping me from calling it as *I* see it. Gossip on, but at least stop pretending any of this shit has been said with kindness at the forefront.
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Post by pjaye on Dec 31, 2022 4:04:08 GMT
Gossip on, but at least stop pretending any of this shit has been said with kindness at the forefront. So everyone is only allowed to post things said with kindness at the forefront now? Wow, when did that rule come in effect? Must have been posted on the secret board-police thread. FWIW find your constant defense of her a bit on the obsessive side. Some people don't like her, some people don't believe any of her stories, some people feel like they got conned/scammed by her - they get to feel that way and you need to get over the fact that other people see the situation differently to you and stop insisting everyone needs to post in ways YOU find acceptable. You are free to keep in contact with her, send her money, or even invite her and her daughter to come live with you and you can support them financially if you want...but stop telling others what to think, feel or say about this situation.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Dec 31, 2022 4:09:32 GMT
Gossip on, but at least stop pretending any of this shit has been said with kindness at the forefront. So everyone is only allowed to post things said with kindness at the forefront now? Wow, when did that rule come in effect? Must have been posted on the secret board-police thread. FWIW find your constant defense of her a bit on the obsessive side. Some people don't like her, some people don't believe any of her stories, some people feel like they got conned/scammed by her - they get to feel that way and you need to get over the fact that other people see the situation differently to you and stop insisting everyone needs to post in ways YOU find acceptable. You are free to keep in contact with her, send her money, or even invite her and her daughter to come live with you and you can support them financially if you want...but stop telling others what to think, feel or say about this situation. lol, yeah. Exactly. No one is allowed to say anything mean. That's just what I said. I frankly don't give a fuck what you think of my defense of her. I don't usually kick people when they're down, but have at it! I think she's unwell. Unwell people do and say fucked up things. I can be a God awful fucking bitch when i choose. Like now. BUT I OWN IT. I'm not being a gossipy bitch and then acting like I'm not. Or like I'm sorry you misinterpreted my intentions.
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Post by pjaye on Dec 31, 2022 4:23:42 GMT
I don't usually kick people when they're down, but have at it! and neither did I - go back and read ANY thread that she started. I made a deliberate decision quite some time ago to stay out of her threads...and I did. I provided a very brief summary and a link when someone asked what happened. You don't like my summary? I don't give a shit about that either - so we're even there.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Dec 31, 2022 4:28:54 GMT
I guess the new trend is going to be when you don’t like the way a thread is going you request it be locked. I find that concept to be absolute crap, TBH. Locking threads only makes things worse. I can virtually guarantee that every locked thread will spawn a thread about how it was locked. Also, FTR, while I don't love that the original thread was locked, at least that was a situation where the OP was the one who requested her own thread be locked. I think we've probably all wanted to do that at some point on a thread of our own. But asking admin to lock someone else's thread because you don't like it just does not sit right with me. And if it actually happens, well, I'll just say we got some fancy new popcorn salt for Christmas.
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Post by lucyg on Dec 31, 2022 5:16:41 GMT
I think nice people are entitled to have a differing opinion, too. Definitely. But what's kind about the 'lesbian stalker' stuff that isn't even relevant to the locked thread? What's kind about repeatedly mentioning how annoyed we were by her failure to take our advice? As I said, I don't think it's mean to say you (universal "you") felt your kindness and generosity were abused. And many said just that. For me, it's the way the charges of her being a "lesbian stalker" have been leveled and repeated. It wasn't brought here to warn people. It was brought up solely to embarrass BB. And the way some are a ting like this is such salacious and delicious gossip. I don't know how one can deny the mean spirited nature of some of these comments. I have not gone back to look, but my recollection is that the lesbian stalker posts were made by a couple of people using alters. So, not anyone we would consider “nice,” as we don’t know them, or at least who they really are, at all. And I think those people were 100% deplorable. But I also think when a known “nice” pea hits a wall and says something less than nice (not lesbian-stalker-level less-than-nice, though), there’s usually a reason for it. Likely years of listening to never-ending vents, offering emotional support, giving suggestions that get rejected because nothing can ever improve the situation, biting one’s tongue about the working under the table, sending multiple gifts to try to help. It is never enough. Note, I do not believe I posted at all in that long thread or the one that got locked or even any of BB’s threads going back a ways. But I read them. And now this thread has made me join the no-longer-nice list, I guess.
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Post by kiera on Dec 31, 2022 7:25:33 GMT
Lord, even a kindhearted "I hope this person is doing okay" thread has spurred fighting and handslapping. No wonder she's left.
She only just lost her beloved husband last year. She's still grieving that loss and will be for a really long time. She's been dealt a rough hand in life, not just with the loss of Gary but with her own health issues and everything else. Whether we want to hear her vents or not, sometimes people need to put those words and feelings somewhere and she felt safe enough to share them with us. And she gets attacked? For what? It's fine to disagree of course but why get mean? What purpose does that serve?
I hope she's taking care of herself and can find peace.
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pantsonfire
Pearl Clutcher
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 4,762
Jun 19, 2022 16:48:04 GMT
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Post by pantsonfire on Dec 31, 2022 7:39:38 GMT
Lord, even a kindhearted "I hope this person is doing okay" thread has spurred fighting and handslapping. No wonder she's left. She only just lost her beloved husband last year. She's still grieving that loss and will be for a really long time. She's been dealt a rough hand in life, not just with the loss of Gary but with her own health issues and everything else. Whether we want to hear her vents or not, sometimes people need to put those words and feelings somewhere and she felt safe enough to share them with us. And she gets attacked? For what? It's fine to disagree of course but why get mean? What purpose does that serve? I hope she's taking care of herself and can find peace. The problems arose when it wasn't just venting. It was retaliation against a business that didn't extend an arm, leg, hand, foot, hip to help her. It was her saying she was going to verbally attack a business to get her way. That is when things became an issue for so many. When it had to be her way or the highway. Sooooooo many peas offered sound advice only to be out down, told off with a bazillion exclamation points, verbally attacked all because it means she would actually have to invest in doing something other than shouting poor me, woe is me to get hand outs. It became an issue when the kind peas went out of their way to find her help only to be told no. So yes things went south. And honestly rightfully so. Who wants to sit by and allow a person to go on the attack to get their way?! Who is going to try and try and try to help only to be told no, or cussed out because it's not another free hand out. Yes it gets exhausting. I know her life is exhausting for her to deal with event after event after event. But at some point, a person has to wake up and realize help isn't going to come for free. It's not going to come on a silver platter. It's going to come from grit and determination, and accepting that there is help out there you just have to go put your foot in the door. And soooooo many peas were holding those doors open for her, and she didn't show up. That sucks. It sucks to offer sound help all the time and be constantly be shoved to the side so people got mad and hurt and frustrated. And well...they have every right to express how they feel. And they did. And she didn't like that. So here we are.
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pantsonfire
Pearl Clutcher
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 4,762
Jun 19, 2022 16:48:04 GMT
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Post by pantsonfire on Dec 31, 2022 7:43:57 GMT
It had become an increasing exaggeration of events to try to pull at peas heart strings to get free help without having to put in any effort.
And when peas started to question that, it went south.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Dec 31, 2022 7:51:16 GMT
Definitely. But what's kind about the 'lesbian stalker' stuff that isn't even relevant to the locked thread? What's kind about repeatedly mentioning how annoyed we were by her failure to take our advice? As I said, I don't think it's mean to say you (universal "you") felt your kindness and generosity were abused. And many said just that. For me, it's the way the charges of her being a "lesbian stalker" have been leveled and repeated. It wasn't brought here to warn people. It was brought up solely to embarrass BB. And the way some are a ting like this is such salacious and delicious gossip. I don't know how one can deny the mean spirited nature of some of these comments. I have not gone back to look, but my recollection is that the lesbian stalker posts were made by a couple of people using alters. So, not anyone we would consider “nice,” as we don’t know them, or at least who they really are, at all. And I think those people were 100% deplorable. But I also think when a known “nice” pea hits a wall and says something less than nice (not lesbian-stalker-level less-than-nice, though), there’s usually a reason for it. Likely years of listening to never-ending vents, offering emotional support, giving suggestions that get rejected because nothing can ever improve the situation, biting one’s tongue about the working under the table, sending multiple gifts to try to help. It is never enough. Note, I do not believe I posted at all in that long thread or the one that got locked or even any of BB’s threads going back a ways. But I read them. And now this thread has made me join the no-longer-nice list, I guess. Lucy, I have never known you to *not* be kind. I was not trying to say or imply that you, personally, were ever unkind. And just to be clear - I am not the board police and I'm not saying people aren't allowed to say whatever they want about this sad, grieving, broken person.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 20:55:30 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2022 9:37:57 GMT
The problems arose when it wasn't just venting. It was retaliation against a business that didn't extend an arm, leg, hand, foot, hip to help her. It was her saying she was going to verbally attack a business to get her way. That is when things became an issue for so many. When it had to be her way or the highway. Sooooooo many peas offered sound advice only to be out down, told off with a bazillion exclamation points, verbally attacked all because it means she would actually have to invest in doing something other than shouting poor me, woe is me to get hand outs. It became an issue when the kind peas went out of their way to find her help only to be told no. So yes things went south. And honestly rightfully so. Who wants to sit by and allow a person to go on the attack to get their way?! Who is going to try and try and try to help only to be told no, or cussed out because it's not another free hand out. Yes it gets exhausting. I know her life is exhausting for her to deal with event after event after event. But at some point, a person has to wake up and realize help isn't going to come for free. It's not going to come on a silver platter. It's going to come from grit and determination, and accepting that there is help out there you just have to go put your foot in the door. And soooooo many peas were holding those doors open for her, and she didn't show up. That sucks. It sucks to offer sound help all the time and be constantly be shoved to the side so people got mad and hurt and frustrated. And well...they have every right to express how they feel. And they did. And she didn't like that. So here we are. While I very, rarely wade into these "mosh-pit" discussions, I really want to comment on this particular part. It is just reality that not everyone has the same physical/mental fortitude to handle life in the same way. So much is determined how we were raised and how we develop our "defense mechanisms". Some strap on that grit and determination like Rambo perhaps because they had good examples or have just developed that strength. But some people have also been put down and made to believe they are nothing and just getting to that "door" seems impossible. IMO, you give people advice or help and then it's up to that person how they use it. What they do with that help is not your responsibility at that point. Now, whether you give help the next time IS up to you. At that point, I get on my horse and ride out of town.
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Post by vintagehollyhobbie on Dec 31, 2022 10:44:25 GMT
I'm confused that people want to rug-sweep the stalking.
Let's change the genders. Let's pretend that a man who posts here is shown to be a stalker on the message board 20 years ago. This man changes his user name, and creates a whole new persona to continue posting here under the radar.
Now let's say the man is outed for this prior behavior along with years worth of questionable behavior here. Most people here would have a fit, there would be call-out posts and people would be up in arms that a man who has a history of stalking a fellow pea was posting here.
Why are we giving a pass to a woman? All the other recent bs aside, she has shown herself. Shown her true colors by deleting herself and having a post locked because she knew shit was going to hit the fan. People want to defend this coward? This stalker who has been shown to grift? I just don't get it. Everyone can have an opinion, certainly. But the white knighting of BB is just mind boggling to me.
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twinsmomfla99
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,987
Jun 26, 2014 13:42:47 GMT
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Post by twinsmomfla99 on Dec 31, 2022 13:59:11 GMT
I'm confused that people want to rug-sweep the stalking. Let's change the genders. Let's pretend that a man who posts here is shown to be a stalker on the message board 20 years ago. This man changes his user name, and creates a whole new persona to continue posting here under the radar. Now let's say the man is outed for this prior behavior along with years worth of questionable behavior here. Most people here would have a fit, there would be call-out posts and people would be up in arms that a man who has a history of stalking a fellow pea was posting here. Why are we giving a pass to a woman? All the other recent bs aside, she has shown herself. Shown her true colors by deleting herself and having a post locked because she knew shit was going to hit the fan. People want to defend this coward? This stalker who has been shown to grift? I just don't get it. Everyone can have an opinion, certainly. But the white knighting of BB is just mind boggling to me. This. I didn’t post on either of the other threads as they happened during a few months I was AWOL from this board for a lot of personal reasons. I never even saw the other threads until I read the links posted here. For me, the lesbian stalker convo falls into the category of “this line of questioning goes to credibility, Your Honor.” BB had been on my radar for a while. I had a vague memory of “unpleasantness” from the old board, but I was not vested in it enough to go all “way back machine” to try to figure it out. I read her post after post of “woe is me” where she got plenty of sympathy, advice, and in some cases, financial support. I never made a financial contribution, but early on I may have given advice or sympathy. Eventually, I was reduced to reading her posts just to see the latest drama, but for the most part I didn’t respond. IMHO, she was addicted to the sympathy she got by venting, and every update seemed to be a one-up of the last terrible thing so she could get more sympathy. And I’m not talking about when Gary was dying. That was an understandable response to come to the board for support, and as usual, the Peas were united in giving her sympathy and a shoulder to cry on during that time. But there were too many red flags for me. I was skeptical of some of the medical information she shared. I seem to recall her claiming 20+ surgeries on her eye, and that seemed excessive. I’m not saying it was impossible, but the claim just seemed “off.” Then apparently there was a post about some medical numbers that knowledgeable Peas called out as being impossible. Then the stories about working under the table for these horrible people and all the drama of trying to avoid reportable income so she could continue to draw disability benefits. And the cats. No “vent” came without a follow-up in the thread about how little money she had in the bank and how it was one thing after another and how was she ever going to make it? And cue the gift cards. One thing I love about this community above all else is the love and support that this group of women can provide to others. To me, it seems like BB was willing to tug at the heart strings to get what she could. Obviously I wasn’t the only one who thought that, and a couple of Peas who reached their limit created alters to call her out. Is anyone really disputing what happened in the stalker situation? I remember when it happened, but I couldn’t have told you the name of the stalker. I was more of a lurker at the time, but I do remember the drama. And as I said earlier, I knew there had been an issue with BB on the old board, which probably added to my skepticism about many of her posts.
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Post by twinks on Dec 31, 2022 14:15:18 GMT
I will admit I got frustrated. She was always in a “crisis” and asking for advice. When advice or help was given, she didn’t take it. That is okay if it stopped there but it didn’t. She would go to great lengths to explain why it would work for her. Personally I felt like she didn’t want help she wanted rescuing. I felt like anything that was offered short of money or gift cards was totally beneath her. She came across that her situation was worse than anyone else’s situation and there was no possible solution so she was destined to be miserable. Perhaps this is why her family didn’t appear to help her. I don’t know. Handling things differently is okay. Not taking people’s advice is okay. Not having the resilience to pick yourself up and move on at that time is okay, but if it keeps going on and on for year after year, it becomes a self destructive pattern and a way of life.
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twinsmomfla99
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,987
Jun 26, 2014 13:42:47 GMT
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Post by twinsmomfla99 on Dec 31, 2022 14:25:33 GMT
I will admit I got frustrated. She was always in a “crisis” and asking for advice. When advice or help was given, she didn’t take it. That is okay if it stopped there but it didn’t. She would go to great lengths to explain why it would work for her. Personally I felt like she didn’t want help she wanted rescuing. I felt like anything that was offered short of money or gift cards was totally beneath her. She came across that her situation was worse than anyone else’s situation and there was no possible solution so she was destined to be miserable. Perhaps this is why her family didn’t appear to help her. I don’t know. Handling things differently is okay. Not taking people’s advice is okay. Not having the resilience to pick yourself up and move on at that time is okay, but if it keeps going on and on for year after year, it becomes a self destructive pattern and a way of life. This. I reached “empathy fatigue” a long time ago for BB.
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Dec 31, 2022 14:31:09 GMT
Lord, even a kindhearted "I hope this person is doing okay" thread has spurred fighting and handslapping. No wonder she's left. She only just lost her beloved husband last year. She's still grieving that loss and will be for a really long time. She's been dealt a rough hand in life, not just with the loss of Gary but with her own health issues and everything else. Whether we want to hear her vents or not, sometimes people need to put those words and feelings somewhere and she felt safe enough to share them with us. And she gets attacked? For what? It's fine to disagree of course but why get mean? What purpose does that serve? This seems to be the popular pushback to the mean people/posts. It wasn’t simply venting though. Lots of people vent here. I know not everyone will see it the way many others do and that’s the way of a message board. But her posts were not simply vents, especially as time went on. It was a really bad combination of a tough situation and lovely people extending support and gifts that got out of hand. Her vent posts became more often and became increasingly exaggerated and impossible to be believed. You couldn’t not see that if you read here even a little bit. It even happened in peamail. I believe what I received (as a kind pea) was a blatant “vent of a poor widow” to pull on my heartstrings in hopes of continued “generosity”. I’m not the first to mention her peamails. It’s considered bitchy to share peamail information though. But all of it matters. Even the stalking from years ago (cringes and ducks). However, I don’t care a bit about whether she’s a lesbian or not. Anyway, there will always be two camps. People who simply see the vents of a person who struggled and people who see it as much more and thought it wasn’t good for either party. I really hate to see people afraid to say what they see and then be seen as bitches when they do.
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Post by peasapie on Dec 31, 2022 14:54:01 GMT
I haven’t taken part in these conversations because I don’t feel I have anything valuable to add. But I want to say that reading all the posts gives me an even higher regard for the considered opinions of the members of 2PR.
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