remarried widowers (I'm right, right?)

Yep. You are correct.

I have heard the same too, though my dad waited 9 years before remarrying - he was a lot younger though.
I also feel that at age 79 or 80, you don’t know how many more years you have, so why not spend those years in the company of someone you love.

I think you are right. A gentleman I know who is a couple of years younger than your uncle(?) started dating a very nice woman, who is about the same age, within 6 months of his wife's passing. At first we were a little taken aback - their marriage always seemed strong and they both seemed like they were very much in love. A couple of his kids confronted him about it all - they were concerned she was a gold-digger, that he had been having an affair when their mom was alive, etc. He told them that it was his life, his money and he certainly did love their mother, and still does, but he shouldn't have to live his golden years alone just to keep them happy.

I know too many people who didn't remarry or get into a relationship after their partner died just to placate the adult kids and I always thought it was very selfish of the kids.

He is 80, how long would they want him to wait? (Of course, they could have just lived together and not married)
Outside of that, I can see where they might be concerned about the new wife removing their mother's belongings without notifying them (happened to a friend of mine) or the will changing to the wife rather than the children. The first can be discussed with the couple and the second depends on the people and relationships they have.

I agree - it isn't that uncommon. Personally, I think they are very lonely and need the companionship and also need/want someone to take care of them (cooking/cleaning).

I know of several men who have remarried within months of their wives dying. In my experience the men who remarried so quickly came from very happy marriages. I wish my mom had remarried but she's been alone now for almost 30 years. My FIL lived for 10 years after MIL died. I wish he would have remarried too because those years were very sad and lonely for him. It didn't have to be that way but it's what he chose.

Life is short and everyone deserves to be happy and have someone to love.

I just wanted to say that I have a friend that her husband passed away last July from a very lengthy illness and she is dating and in a pretty committed relationship and other friends and family are having a tough time with it. What they don't realize is that she mourned his death long before his actual death. it was years in the coming and like you I pass no judgement, but I also see where they are coming from moving on, she has gone through the stages of grief for a lot longer than just the last 9 months.   

This, absolutely this!

My FIL remarried 3 months after my MIL died after a lengthy illness. They were both in their 50s.

It was devastating for their adult kids and created a rift that is finally healing about 10 years later. But no one ever thought that he was unfaithful to their mom or didn’t care about her.

Time and age has given me a little more perspective. I understand better now that we was a caregiver more than a spouse for the last 3-4 years of her life so I can see how it felt like it had been a lot longer since he lost his wife. The last year was brutal.

They also married very young and he had never lived alone. And they were strict Catholics so I think he felt even more guilt for having a relationship outside of a marriage.

He still talks about MIL all the time. About what a good mom she was and how pretty she was. There’s no question that he adored her. I just wish he’d been a tad more sensitive to the impact it would have on his kids—but he’s always been a little emotionally tone deaf.

I think it happens a lot. Many men can’t cope with being on their own. My friend’s dad married a longtime divorced family friend five months after her mother died. The family used to joke when the mom was still alive that if anything happened to her, this friend would swoop in and marry the dad. She did, but he was the one who really needed someone in his life. P.S. she was a successful businesswoman and had more money than he did.

I don’t have a problem with it unless he (or occasionally she) is making a really foolish choice. But they’re adults all the same, and they get to make their own foolish choices.

I do think it’s smart for everyone to wait at least a year after being widowed to make any major life changes. They often are regretted sooner rather than later.

Many older men just don’t do well alone sadly and will therefore remarry ‘soon’ after losing their wife. It’s hard not to jump to the conclusion that it reflects on their deceased partner but it doesn’t.

Widowers often either remarry quickly or don't live long on their own. I'm not sure why they often remarry quickly but it just happens. Maybe they are lonely or looking for a caregiver. I have a relative who adored his wife, who died in her early 40's. The hospital staff commented that they had never seen a husband so devoted. He met someone soon after she died and they are still married over 20 years later. I'm sure you are right and your uncle loved his wife very much. This isn't meant to show her any disrespect.

Just another thought, clearly getting married again holds no worries for him, meaning his previous marriage was a good one and he is happy to take the plunge again. Marriage has good connotations for him.

My dad has a lovely girlfriend who knew my parents before they were set up on a date. He waited a year after my mother died and he asked me what I thought and said sure. So far they are still together going on 5 years!