|
Post by *sprout* on Jun 26, 2023 16:17:42 GMT
As someone who also has a birthday that usually falls on a holiday weekend, I say go if you are able. It sounds like you don't want to go, but I can honestly say that it will mean a lot to your friend. It really does suck when you are the one with a holiday birthday.
|
|
|
Post by nightnurse on Jun 26, 2023 16:17:59 GMT
Asking me to take a day off work would be enough of a deal breaker for me. Even if I wanted to, that day is no longer available ans others are on vacation. Over $500 on a hotel that isn’t in a location or at a time of my choosing would also be a deal breaker. My friends would not ask that of me. I who’s not ask if of them. I enjoy a good party but there’s no reason it couldn’t be Saturday instead of Friday, drive out in the e morning and then to the cabin after. I get that’s not a choice you get to make. I wouldn’t go at all, but your compromise of going and then driving to your cabin sounds more than fair.
|
|
tracylynn
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,872
Jun 26, 2014 22:49:09 GMT
|
Post by tracylynn on Jun 26, 2023 16:23:54 GMT
I would go. How far is the drive from the party to where you will be spending the rest of the time? Could you go Thursday night to Duluth and stay that night and leave after the party? It will be a 2 hour drive back to our cabin. I'm just going to say it-I don't want to spend money on a hotel. Linda would be the first one to say she couldn't afford it. My DH wants to go to our cabin Thursday like normal, then drive up to the party for a couple hours, then drive back later that day. That seems like the smart plan. Even if you get back to the cabin late Friday night, it's fine - you still have all weekend.
|
|
|
Post by silverlining on Jun 26, 2023 16:27:25 GMT
Isn't the holiday on Monday? If I were Linda, and somebody very close to me let me know that some of my dear friends couldn't take Friday off work, I would be happy to move the party to Saturday. I feel like I'm missing something here.
I love the idea of hosting people at your cabin to make it a great weekend and more budget-friendly for everybody in the group.
|
|
scrappinghappy
Pearl Clutcher
“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. No time to say “Hello.” Goodbye. I’m late...."
Posts: 4,306
Jun 26, 2014 19:30:06 GMT
|
Post by scrappinghappy on Jun 26, 2023 16:34:11 GMT
I did a quick search on airbnb for places that sleep 6 and there were quite a few choices that would be a lot less than a hotel. For those that don't have cabins this could be a way to extend the party weekend.
For a friend of 40 years, we would go and make it a great experience.
|
|
|
Post by Lexica on Jun 26, 2023 16:34:50 GMT
It seems rude that Linda is insisting the party be on her actual birthday when it seems to be a big inconvenience and quite expensive for everyone else.
I would talk with the group and figure out the best plan for everyone and then let Linda’s husband know that this is what we can all agree on, could they possibly switch the celebration?
Can more than one family stay in the closer cabins?
|
|
|
Post by MichyM on Jun 26, 2023 16:35:50 GMT
I’m with peabay on this. And I would not talk to the birthday girl or the host about the dates they picked. Either go, don’t go, or modify how/when you go, but please don’t poop on their party plans!
|
|
|
Post by bbkeef on Jun 26, 2023 16:38:14 GMT
Isn't the holiday on Monday? Her birthday is Friday. Sept. 1st-she is insisting the party be ON her birtday. Yes, the holiday is Monday. My point is that it's inconvenient for people to get off work on a holiday weekend if you haven't already put in for it and/or it's too expensive for those that need a hotel.
|
|
|
Post by **GypsyGirl** on Jun 26, 2023 16:44:33 GMT
Her birthday is Friday. Sept. 1st-she is insisting the party be ON her birtday. Yes, the holiday is Monday. My point is that it's inconvenient for people to get off work on a holiday weekend if you haven't already put in for it and/or it's too expensive for those that need a hotel. Perhaps once enough people say they won't come, or will come but not arrive until after 8 pm, Linda will have a change of heart and adjust her plans. You have come up with a solution that works for you (driving up Friday for a few hours). Everyone else needs to do the same and let the chips fall where they may. It's not something that you can change so I wouldn't worry about it. Yes it's annoying, but at the end of the day it's her party, her decision.
|
|
pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,936
Aug 14, 2015 21:47:17 GMT
|
Post by pilcas on Jun 26, 2023 16:50:46 GMT
I would go for a couple of hours and then drive to my cabin. A pain but for a friend of 40 yrs I would. I agree the hotels. Are very expensive.
|
|
|
Post by roundtwo on Jun 26, 2023 16:52:25 GMT
It really sucks to have a birthday around any kind of holiday, because people will always think you are being selfish to just want to celebrate. I have close family members who have birthdays around big holidays and I feel so bad that they seem to get overlooked but the folks in June never have to be accused of being selfish when they celebrate on their day. It's not like the birthday person planned to pop out at Christmas
|
|
|
Post by lisae on Jun 26, 2023 16:52:44 GMT
What does Linda want? Is she in on the planning or just the husband's ideas? First off, I think the birthday girl should get the party she wants to have when she wants to have it.
If she wants her party on Friday afternoon, then I would go. If I were Linda, I'd opt for Saturday to make things at least slightly easier so people who lived close didn't have to take off from work. You have been given a lot of notice to make reservations.
|
|
momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,152
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
|
Post by momto4kiddos on Jun 26, 2023 16:53:55 GMT
I would go. How far is the drive from the party to where you will be spending the rest of the time? Could you go Thursday night to Duluth and stay that night and leave after the party? It will be a 2 hour drive back to our cabin. I'm just going to say it-I don't want to spend money on a hotel. Linda would be the first one to say she couldn't afford it. My DH wants to go to our cabin Thursday like normal, then drive up to the party for a couple hours, then drive back later that day. dh's idea is a good one. It's only a couple hour drive, that isn't bad at all. The time of day is definitely weird. I always love when people do things like holiday weekend weddings thinking they're doing you a favor. This sounds about the same, travel with traffic, expensive lodging. I wouldn't be thrilled either, but at least you're a couple hours drive away.
|
|
|
Post by Bridget in MD on Jun 26, 2023 16:54:30 GMT
I like your dh's idea For a friend of 40 years I would also try to help out others who may not have access to a cabin and host them at my cabin. We could all drive together to/from the party. I like DH's idea, unless that means you miss all the other friends bc they wont get there late when you are driving back. Any chance you could rent an AirBnB and split it with other couples? then make it a long weekend? or move the party to where several cabins are more central?
|
|
|
Post by smalltowngirlie on Jun 26, 2023 16:55:28 GMT
It will be a 2 hour drive back to our cabin. I'm just going to say it-I don't want to spend money on a hotel. Linda would be the first one to say she couldn't afford it. My DH wants to go to our cabin Thursday like normal, then drive up to the party for a couple hours, then drive back later that day. dh's idea is a good one. It's only a couple hour drive, that isn't bad at all. The time of day is definitely weird. I always love when people do things like holiday weekend weddings thinking they're doing you a favor. This sounds about the same, travel with traffic, expensive lodging. I wouldn't be thrilled either, but at least you're a couple hours drive away. We have attended 3 weddings on New Years Eve. They all have been a blast, but the out of town ones were a little spendy. Not really a price break on hotel rooms that night.
|
|
|
Post by cmpeter on Jun 26, 2023 16:57:30 GMT
I would go, rent the hotel and make it an awesome weekend.
Can you look at Airbnb options and split a place with another couple or two? I would not want to make the 2 hour drive to a cabin on Friday night.
|
|
|
Post by epeanymous on Jun 26, 2023 17:07:44 GMT
I'm with the posters who say, look, you've been friends forever, just go. I get that you're annoyed about giving up labor day weekend free at a cabin, but there are like a half-dozen three-day weekends every year and she's not asking you to do this on Christmas Day or something.
|
|
hannahruth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,621
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Aug 29, 2014 18:57:20 GMT
|
Post by hannahruth on Jun 26, 2023 17:08:58 GMT
It will be a 2 hour drive back to our cabin. I'm just going to say it-I don't want to spend money on a hotel. Linda would be the first one to say she couldn't afford it. My DH wants to go to our cabin Thursday like normal, then drive up to the party for a couple hours, then drive back later that day. That’s what I would do This ^^^^
|
|
|
Post by calgaryscrapper on Jun 26, 2023 17:09:35 GMT
We drove to a relatives wedding a few years ago. It was two hours away. We stayed for the wedding etc and back home the same day.
|
|
|
Post by stormsts on Jun 26, 2023 17:30:21 GMT
For a 40 year friendship, I would do it in a heartbeat. I get why you are annoyed but it is one Labor Day weekend.
|
|
|
Post by Darcy Collins on Jun 26, 2023 17:47:14 GMT
I'm honestly confused on why you need a hotel to begin with for a party that starts at noon and you're two hours away. You were already taking off work so that's a non-issue for you - just something else to whine about which you're clearly doing. You don't want to go - so don't go - but I'd absolutely go and have a great time with a friend of FORTY YEARS. It's a long weekend, there will be another one in a couple of months.
|
|
milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,443
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
|
Post by milocat on Jun 26, 2023 17:48:53 GMT
Isn't the holiday on Monday? Her birthday is Friday. Sept. 1st-she is insisting the party be ON her birtday. Yes, the holiday is Monday. My point is that it's inconvenient for people to get off work on a holiday weekend if you haven't already put in for it and/or it's too expensive for those that need a hotel. She can insist it's on her birthday all she wants but if people work that day and can't get time off or can't afford it in addition to the hotel then she will have to deal with who can come and whenever they can come. I'd go for a lifelong friend. You'll still have the rest of the long weekend to be at your cabin. Whether you drive uo and back as DH suggested or get a hotel, I'd go.
|
|
|
Post by Darcy Collins on Jun 26, 2023 17:49:15 GMT
We drove to a relatives wedding a few years ago. It was two hours away. We stayed for the wedding etc and back home the same day. When we lived in CA most of our family was 2 hours away. Going for a birthday or holiday was a complete non-issue.
|
|
|
Post by SnoopyFan on Jun 26, 2023 17:55:52 GMT
I'm honestly confused on why you need a hotel to begin with for a party that starts at noon and you're two hours away. You were already taking off work so that's a non-issue for you - just something else to whine about which you're clearly doing. You don't want to go - so don't go - but I'd absolutely go and have a great time with a friend of FORTY YEARS. It's a long weekend, there will be another one in a couple of months. My guess is because quite a few of the friend group can't make it there until 8 p.m. at the earliest. If bbkeef wants to spend time with the friend group, she and her DH will have to stay late. If there are drinks involved, they may not be up for driving, so staying in a hotel is the best option. With it being a holiday weekend, staying for only one night in a hotel isn't possible because hotels are requiring a 2-night stay.
|
|
|
Post by Linda on Jun 26, 2023 17:57:53 GMT
I 100% get the irritation and the inconvenience. Personally I would have scheduled for the Saturday because of time off work issue esp. since a Sep 1st birthday doesn't always fall on Labour Day weekend (it's not like Christmas where it's ALWAYS on a holiday) -but celebrating on a convenient day vs the actual day is something my family has done for a couple of generations.
But since having it on her actual birthday seems to be important to her and she is a long-time friend, I would take your dh up on the idea of going to the party and driving back to the cabin afterwards and spend the rest of the weekend at the cabin as planned.
(((Hugs)))
|
|
gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,080
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
|
Post by gsquaredmom on Jun 26, 2023 17:59:33 GMT
How long is the party? When does it start? Is work letting out early?
I would go for a couple hours after work then drive to the cabin. Most in my family just would not go, but I would feel like I had to do it somehow. Obligation and all that.
If they get few people, they will see it’s a poor choice. It will be what it will be. He may be a bit clueless not to feel people out first.
|
|
Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,548
Jun 26, 2014 1:20:09 GMT
|
Post by Just T on Jun 26, 2023 18:09:38 GMT
If I could make it work, I absolutely would go to that party. It does suck that it starts on a Friday at noon, but again, if I could swing it, no way would I miss a party like that for a friend of 40 years. I always go out of my way to be a part of other people's special events like that. That it is a holiday weekend wouldn't be an issue for me. I feel like those who have cabins have so many weekends to go, even after Labor Day.
That said, I don't think your friend can be upset it people can't make it. Hopefully, she realizes that not everyone can get off work to attend a party at noon on a Friday.
|
|
|
Post by worrywart on Jun 26, 2023 18:21:19 GMT
Some jobs don't allow/like people taking off the day before a holiday - I wonder if she has considered that. Otherwise, yes I would go and use your dh suggestion. Does she have a party every year or just on 'big' birthdays? Seems a little much that a 50 year old HAS to have it on her birthday (ie a workday for most people).
Anyway, she has her mind made up, don't try and change it and definitely don't feel guilty or bad that other people can't attend!!
|
|
The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,192
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
|
Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Jun 26, 2023 18:23:49 GMT
I would go to the party.
I think the change from the normal "we go to the cabin" on that weekend would be a nice change of pace. I would plan a weekend around being in Duluth.
|
|
Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
|
Post by Country Ham on Jun 26, 2023 18:25:25 GMT
The only information I don't see without reading every answer first is how long have you known about your friend's birthday party plans in advance. I mean you all had to have known she was turning 50 on the Friday of a long weekend before now. I would have been discussing plans and making plans way in advance. I think it's perfect timing for a fun long weekend with good friends. I'd make it work somehow.
|
|