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Post by bbkeef on Jun 26, 2023 15:01:53 GMT
I will save my opinion for later, but here's the situation. Linda's 50th is on Labor Day, Friday, Sept. 1st. The friend group has been friends with Linda since we were 10. - Joe (DH), wants to have a party at their place which is 2.5 hours drive for all friends and family
- Joe & Linda live in a tourist town and there will be lots of extra traffic (MN peas-they live in Duluth)
- The party starts at noon on Friday-so we all have to take the day off work
- At least half of us that would go have cabins or parent's cabins that we would normally be at for the long, holiday weekend
- Hotels are a 2 night minimum and are running $266 a night for a cheap hotel.
What do you think? Would you go? Let me know if I need to clarify anything. |
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cakediva
Drama Llama
Making the world a sweeter place one cake at a time!
Posts: 7,444 
Location: Fergus, Ontario
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Post by cakediva on Jun 26, 2023 15:12:35 GMT
So personally I'd go to the party on the Friday, then head out for my cabin/cottage first thing Saturday morning, then not head home from said retreat until later on the holiday Monday.
I'm self employed so it would depend on my work schedule, but I know it is different for those who work for others.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,616
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jun 26, 2023 15:14:51 GMT
Well, it's pretty clear how you feel.
A friend of 40 years? I'd go. It'll be fun. I hear you that it's inconvenient and difficult - but we do that for friends sometimes.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Jun 26, 2023 15:19:29 GMT
I would definitely be there. Take friday off, make it a long wkend. Go to her party on friday, and then spend the wkend with family. I would think missing a day with family for a friend of 40 yrs is well worth it. Yes, Duluth will be busy, but worth it.
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peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,389
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Post by peaname on Jun 26, 2023 15:19:56 GMT
Are they opening their home for overnight guests or is it just a same day party?
It sounds like fun, I’d go for a lifelong friend’s birthday.
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Post by bbkeef on Jun 26, 2023 15:25:56 GMT
Are they opening their home for overnight guests or is it just a same day party? Their kids are coming, so no space available at the house. Hotels are a 2 night minimum on a holiday weekend, running $266 per night for the Econo Lodge |
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Post by Lurkingpea on Jun 26, 2023 15:27:16 GMT
I would go.
How far is the drive from the party to where you will be spending the rest of the time? Could you go Thursday night to Duluth and stay that night and leave after the party?
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Post by bbkeef on Jun 26, 2023 15:32:44 GMT
I would go. How far is the drive from the party to where you will be spending the rest of the time? Could you go Thursday night to Duluth and stay that night and leave after the party? It will be a 2 hour drive back to our cabin. I'm just going to say it-I don't want to spend money on a hotel. Linda would be the first one to say she couldn't afford it. My DH wants to go to our cabin Thursday like normal, then drive up to the party for a couple hours, then drive back later that day. |
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bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by bethany102399 on Jun 26, 2023 15:33:29 GMT
[li]At least half of us that would go have cabins or parent's cabins that we would normally be at for the long, holiday weekend [/li][li]Hotels are a 2 night minimum and are running $266 a night for a cheap hotel.[/li][/quote] So I'm reading this as about half the people invited have lodging and the other half would be forced to stay at an expensive hotel. Do you have plans that mean you can't go? Are you one of the ones who has lodging? I'm the outlier, I can't stand when people plan things over a holiday weekend, which means things are 3x as expensive, then get upset when people won't come. |
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Post by bianca42 on Jun 26, 2023 15:35:47 GMT
I would go. How far is the drive from the party to where you will be spending the rest of the time? Could you go Thursday night to Duluth and stay that night and leave after the party? It will be a 2 hour drive back to our cabin. I'm just going to say it-I don't want to spend money on a hotel. Linda would be the first one to say she couldn't afford it. My DH wants to go to our cabin Thursday like normal, then drive up to the party for a couple hours, then drive back later that day. I would probably do what your husband wants. A lot of driving in a day, but more time at your cabin and less $$. |
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Post by Basket1lady on Jun 26, 2023 15:39:37 GMT
Am i right in saying that Labor Day weekend is sort of the unofficial end of summer and you don’t want to miss the time at your cabin? If this is a good friend I would go. I think that it would be fun with all of your friend group there.
Can you just drive up the same day and then drive to your cabin or back home again? For $530 I’d drive rather than get a hotel, even if it’s several hours. Keep the party going on the road trip with music and after party chat (responsibly!)
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Post by Basket1lady on Jun 26, 2023 15:42:11 GMT
I would go. How far is the drive from the party to where you will be spending the rest of the time? Could you go Thursday night to Duluth and stay that night and leave after the party? It will be a 2 hour drive back to our cabin. I'm just going to say it-I don't want to spend money on a hotel. Linda would be the first one to say she couldn't afford it. My DH wants to go to our cabin Thursday like normal, then drive up to the party for a couple hours, then drive back later that day. I’d definitely do this. Yeah, it sucks to drive for 2 hours after the party, but I’d bet good money that you will be glad that you did it in the end. |
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Post by compeateropeator on Jun 26, 2023 15:42:16 GMT
If it was a close friend, absolutely. Especially if it to celebrate a milestone birthday and that they don’t often do a big celebration. It is a one (or at least not very often) time deal and, if possible, I would be there.
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Post by bbkeef on Jun 26, 2023 15:43:39 GMT
So I'm reading this as about half the people invited have lodging and the other half would be forced to stay at an expensive hotel. Do you have plans that mean you can't go? Are you one of the ones who has lodging? I'm the outlier, I can't stand when people plan things over a holiday weekend, which means things are 3x as expensive, then get upset when people won't come. Nobody has lodging so far. For the cabin people-none of us are in that area. All cabins are 1 to 2 hours away from Duluth where the party is being held. We can go, I'm annoyed that it's on a holiday weekend that is kind of the official end of summer weekend. AND most of the friend group wouldn't be able to swing getting the day off and spending the $$ on a hotel. It's a really big ask. We'll go, but I feel bad for others that won't get there until 8pm and then have to go to an expensive hotel or pitch a tent in the yard which is very small. Also, at 50, don't you think you can celebrate on any day? Does it really have to be ON your birthday? |
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Post by cadoodlebug on Jun 26, 2023 15:49:46 GMT
Since the party is several months away, has anyone thought to talk to Joe and let him know how y'all feel? You didn't mention it being a surprise party so you could also talk to Linda.
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Post by compeateropeator on Jun 26, 2023 15:52:33 GMT
I said I would absolutely go if possible but will add if I was planning something for a limited group of friends (special but not necessarily a big/large event) I would try to plan it so that the most can attend.
I will say it sucks to have a birthday that falls on a holiday (12/24 here) because if you ever try to have something on your birthday people can’t go or complain that you are disrupting their holiday…there is never the year that it falls just right.
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Post by ~summer~ on Jun 26, 2023 15:55:12 GMT
Yes I would definitely go.
I’d get a hotel or Airbnb and spend the long weekend there. Sounds fun.
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seaexplore
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Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Jun 26, 2023 15:56:11 GMT
I would go. How far is the drive from the party to where you will be spending the rest of the time? Could you go Thursday night to Duluth and stay that night and leave after the party? It will be a 2 hour drive back to our cabin. I'm just going to say it-I don't want to spend money on a hotel. Linda would be the first one to say she couldn't afford it. My DH wants to go to our cabin Thursday like normal, then drive up to the party for a couple hours, then drive back later that day. I’m with your DH on this. Go and have fun. I don’t blame you for not wanting to spend $ on a hotel. And WTF planning a party on a busy travel weekend! I’m so annoyed by people who do that. |
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Post by bbkeef on Jun 26, 2023 15:56:49 GMT
Since the party is several months away, has anyone thought to talk to Joe and let him know how y'all feel? We've tried, but he just keeps saying Linda insists it be on her actual birthday. Several people have replied saying we won't be there until 8pm (work until 5, drive up 2.5 hours or more). I know we will suck it up an go. |
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seaexplore
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Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Jun 26, 2023 16:00:31 GMT
Since the party is several months away, has anyone thought to talk to Joe and let him know how y'all feel? We've tried, but he just keeps saying Linda insists it be on her actual birthday. Several people have replied saying we won't be there until 8pm (work until 5, drive up 2.5 hours or more). I know we will suck it up an go. Joe also knows people will suck it up and go so there will be no changing his mind. I’d talk with Linda. |
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Post by mbanda on Jun 26, 2023 16:00:58 GMT
Yes, I would for sure go and I'd be inclined to get a hotel and make a fun weekend out of it!
I'd also be ok with what your husband suggested with going to your cabin on Thursday then driving to the party Friday & coming back Friday evening to the cabin.
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bethany102399
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by bethany102399 on Jun 26, 2023 16:01:00 GMT
Also, at 50, don't you think you can celebrate on any day? Does it really have to be ON your birthday? AS someone who will turn 50 at the tail end of July, which here means it will be surface of the sun hot, I agree. Asking someone to come celebrate at a time that means they're inconvenienced is not ok with me. That said, I agree with the PP who said talk to Linda or her DH about how you feel. Maybe they're amenable to having a weekend with the kids for the actual day and a celebration at another time. |
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christinec68
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,129
Location: New York, NY
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Post by christinec68 on Jun 26, 2023 16:01:01 GMT
I would go and make it a day trip.
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Post by christine58 on Jun 26, 2023 16:02:20 GMT
I would go. How far is the drive from the party to where you will be spending the rest of the time? Could you go Thursday night to Duluth and stay that night and leave after the party? It will be a 2 hour drive back to our cabin. I'm just going to say it-I don't want to spend money on a hotel. Linda would be the first one to say she couldn't afford it. My DH wants to go to our cabin Thursday like normal, then drive up to the party for a couple hours, then drive back later that day. That’s what I would do |
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Post by tommygirl on Jun 26, 2023 16:04:06 GMT
I like your dh's idea
For a friend of 40 years I would also try to help out others who may not have access to a cabin and host them at my cabin. We could all drive together to/from the party.
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Post by flanz on Jun 26, 2023 16:07:22 GMT
So I'm reading this as about half the people invited have lodging and the other half would be forced to stay at an expensive hotel. Do you have plans that mean you can't go? Are you one of the ones who has lodging? I'm the outlier, I can't stand when people plan things over a holiday weekend, which means things are 3x as expensive, then get upset when people won't come. Nobody has lodging so far. For the cabin people-none of us are in that area. All cabins are 1 to 2 hours away from Duluth where the party is being held. We can go, I'm annoyed that it's on a holiday weekend that is kind of the official end of summer weekend. AND most of the friend group wouldn't be able to swing getting the day off and spending the $$ on a hotel. It's a really big ask. We'll go, but I feel bad for others that won't get there until 8pm and then have to go to an expensive hotel or pitch a tent in the yard which is very small. Also, at 50, don't you think you can celebrate on any day? Does it really have to be ON your birthday? I agree with you completely re the date of the party. If I were the bd gal or spouse of, no way would I have planned it for that weekend. A week before or after, sure. Not sure what i would do. There's still time for them to change the date... would you be willing to discuss with them? ETA: I would talk to the bday gal. How much fun will it be for her if most of her friends can't get their till 8 pm??? |
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Post by disneypal on Jun 26, 2023 16:09:12 GMT
What do you think? Would you go? Yes, I would go. You've been friends for 40 years! This is a big birthday. I would just deal with the traffic and expense and celebrate her special day. The alternative is to suggest to Joe to meet at someone's cabin on Saturday. |
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Post by bbkeef on Jun 26, 2023 16:10:13 GMT
or a friend of 40 years I would also try to help out others who may not have access to a cabin and host them at my cabin. We could all drive together to/from the party. I have offered to 2 couples. That was my hope too, it would be a fun, shared experience. |
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Post by smalltowngirlie on Jun 26, 2023 16:12:20 GMT
A day trip sounds like a great solution for you. I am trying to wrap my head around starting a party at noon and going all afternoon and into the evening because of everyone's arrival times. I mean if I could not get the day off of work, and could not get up there until after 8, you all have been partying for 8 hours and I am just getting started.
It really sucks to have a birthday around any kind of holiday, because people will always think you are being selfish to just want to celebrate. OP, I am not talking about you with this statement. Sorry, it it came off that way.
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Post by myshelly on Jun 26, 2023 16:13:51 GMT
A best friend of 40 years? What even is the issue? Of course you go.
Traffic and a single day off work literally wouldn’t even be a blip on my radar for a life long best friend.
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