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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 19, 2024 13:07:35 GMT
OK, so here is the deal. Every Tuesday I have a catch up meeting with my coworker and two bosses at 3pm. My coworker schedules it for half hour and it is not uncommon for it to last an hour and a half. So some Tuesdays I don't finish up until 4:30. Problem is my stated work hours are 7-3:30. These are the hours I usually work, sometimes a little earlier and sometimes a little later so I usually make an exception for Tuesday afternoons. I also make exceptions if someone other than my core team schedules a meeting outside these hours because I don't expect them to schedule around my work hours. If it's between the hours of 8-5, I attend and then just adjust my schedule elsewhere.
My coworker was not in at all last week. She said she was sick with the flu and RSV so she took the entire week off. She cancelled that meeting last week. Last night, after 5 pm (so I didn't get it until this morning), she sent a reschedule notice for our meeting today and it is outside the work hours she knows I work (later in the afternoon). I have plans today for after work. I can cancel them and put them off until after this meeting. This is not a super big deal. But I'm irritated that she would even do this because she knows my work hours, she didn't give me any notice (so I was in at 7 am this morning, like normal, when I could have adjusted later), and I know this meeting runs over and will most likely hold me on the clock until around 5 pm.
She was not in yesterday all day. Not in last week. Not in any reliable amounts of time, ever. I do not even know what her work schedule is. And I think it is bullshit I have to adjust my calendar to accommodate someone who doesn't work any reliable schedule. I'm sitting here this morning, with this meeting change notice in my outlook and I'm debating whether to accept it and attend or turn it down on the principle that someone who is completely unreliable in her scheduling can't seem to schedule within my known working hours and I'm constantly having to make exceptions for her to do things at her convenience.
I'll just also say, I have absolutely no business to bring to this meeting.
So, is it petty to turn down the meeting notice? I would of course, send an email off to my boss to let him know why I'm doing so.
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pantsonfire
Pearl Clutcher
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
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Post by pantsonfire on Mar 19, 2024 13:12:34 GMT
Decline.
Then email who ever you need to and explain that you received the notice this morning when you logged in to work and that the meeting is beyond your work hours for the day.
And that you can be reached for any clarification, if needed.
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Post by kristi521 on Mar 19, 2024 13:13:50 GMT
I would definitely not attend the meeting. You have been making accommodations to make up for her absence in general, she knows your work hours and scheduled outside of them anyway (I assume you have your work hours set in Outlook as well?), and you don't have business in this meeting. Seems like an obvious one to me, but it appears you have a better work ethic than she does which is why you are even questioning it, it seems.
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Post by compeateropeator on Mar 19, 2024 13:14:22 GMT
No, I would not attend. I would decline the invite or e-mail my regrets (however you typically do it).
I work 2nd shift but often have to attend meetings before my shift. I make every effort to attend but when there are sudden changes or added meetings there is no guarantee that I can make it and do not feel the least bit guilty if I can’t. They are more than welcome to schedule them during my working hours and I certainly will attend.
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Post by gillyp on Mar 19, 2024 13:16:44 GMT
You are not being petty. The email to your boss is all that is needed imho.
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Post by Lurkingpea on Mar 19, 2024 13:20:34 GMT
This would not even be a question for me. Absolutely not.
Plans or no plans I would not attend a meeting scheduled by my coworker that they scheduled after my work hours.
I can't even believe she would have the balls to do that after everything else she has done, or not done as the case likely is.
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3boysnme
Full Member
Posts: 136
Aug 1, 2023 13:28:26 GMT
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Post by 3boysnme on Mar 19, 2024 13:22:45 GMT
Decline or propose a new time during your scheduled hours.
If a meeting is scheduled during my off time hours, i.e.. lunch or after hours, I simply decline. Unless they want to pay me over time. If you have nothing to discuss, then just don't attend. You weren't given enough notice, and they cannot expect you drop everything.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 19, 2024 13:31:58 GMT
she knows your work hours and scheduled outside of them anyway (I assume you have your work hours set in Outlook as well?) My work hours are set in Outlook and they are well known by everyone on my team. I can't even believe she would have the balls to do that after everything else she has done, or not done as the case likely is. I'm beginning to think there is absolutely no limit to what she thinks she's entitled to do. propose a new time during your scheduled hours. I will propose a new time. |
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3boysnme
Full Member
Posts: 136
Aug 1, 2023 13:28:26 GMT
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Post by 3boysnme on Mar 19, 2024 13:36:12 GMT
Man, I sure hope you get hired at one of those other places you mentioned. Kudos to you for taking all of the crap they've been handing to you at your current position, with grace. I've read through your other thread and parts...mostly all of it...had my blood boiling. Keeping you in my prayers that you find a better position elsewhere SOON!
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Mar 19, 2024 13:36:33 GMT
I'm debating whether to accept it and attend or turn it down on the principle that someone who is completely unreliable in her scheduling can't seem to schedule within my known working hours and I'm constantly having to make exceptions for her to do things at her convenience. Decline the meeting and don't give it a second thought. She has proven time and again she is not a team player, while you have gone above and beyond. Proposing a different time does show you are willing to work with her on timing, so then the ball is in her court. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 19, 2024 13:43:50 GMT
Man, I sure hope you get hired at one of those other places you mentioned. Kudos to you for taking all of the crap they've been handing to you at your current position, with grace. I've read through your other thread and parts...mostly all of it...had my blood boiling. Keeping you in my prayers that you find a better position elsewhere SOON! Thank you. I need to get out. I'm still throwing around the idea of filing that complaint. I still haven't decided if it's worth the trouble. I would have been fine with this reschedule if I had had more advance notice and a reasonable explanation. I just feel like she does whatever the hell she wants. It's frustrating. |
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,759
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Mar 19, 2024 13:44:46 GMT
I'd decline and advise your boss. I'd also add a comment suggesting that going forward the meeting is held earlier since previous meetings have run past your 3.30 end time.
Am wondering if she has the gall to suggest you should suck it up and work past your hours given that she seems to struggle with her own hours.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,726
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Post by purplebee on Mar 19, 2024 13:48:06 GMT
Decline. And hang in there!
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,287
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Mar 19, 2024 13:50:36 GMT
Nope. Decline the meeting.
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Post by Bridget in MD on Mar 19, 2024 13:57:48 GMT
I would decline and in my response say it is after your work hours and you have plans. I would say "I am available XYZ times"
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Post by calgaryscrapper on Mar 19, 2024 13:59:08 GMT
If she asks why you declined just say that time does not work for me as I have a prior commitment
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mich5481
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,529
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Post by mich5481 on Mar 19, 2024 14:12:35 GMT
Man, I sure hope you get hired at one of those other places you mentioned. Kudos to you for taking all of the crap they've been handing to you at your current position, with grace. I've read through your other thread and parts...mostly all of it...had my blood boiling. Keeping you in my prayers that you find a better position elsewhere SOON! Thank you. I need to get out. I'm still throwing around the idea of filing that complaint. I still haven't decided if it's worth the trouble. I would have been fine with this reschedule if I had had more advance notice and a reasonable explanation. I just feel like she does whatever the hell she wants. It's frustrating. File the complaint - she is never going to change on her own. You need to file to the complaint to stand up for yourself and to show that it does impact your work negatively enough to take that step. Otherwise, people may think you like to complain about her, but not do anything that empowers them to make changes. Also, say you do get another job (which I hope you do!). Is it really fair to saddle someone else with a new role AND an unreliable coworker, meaning they have to learn two massive jobs. You know your coworker will throw that new hire under the bus when there are problems, and that poor person won't know any better. If you don't file the complaint for yourself (which you should), file it for the person who comes after you. |
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pantsonfire
Pearl Clutcher
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 4,722
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Post by pantsonfire on Mar 19, 2024 14:16:39 GMT
Yup. File the complaint. For your safety and for whoever comes in next.
Someone needs to stand up to the shitty practices of your company and their lack of fixing the larger issue.
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Post by smasonnc on Mar 19, 2024 14:19:54 GMT
So, is it petty to turn down the meeting notice? I would of course, send an email off to my boss to let him know why I'm doing so. No. They are paying for your time during certain hours. It is not petty to confine your work to the agreed-upon schedule. Don't explain except to say you don't work those hours and certainly don't apologize. I'm debating whether to accept it and attend or turn it down on the principle that someone who is completely unreliable in her scheduling can't seem to schedule within my known working hours and I'm constantly having to make exceptions for her to do things at her convenience. No debate. Just a hard no. Go on with your plans without remorse. I can't believe this person still has a job. Also, say you do get another job (which I hope you do!). Is it really fair to saddle someone else with a new role AND an unreliable coworker, meaning they have to learn two massive jobs. You know your coworker will throw that new hire under the bus when there are problems, and that poor person won't know any better. If you don't file the complaint for yourself (which you should), file it for the person who comes after you. Not your problem, jeremysgirl . That person can advocate for him or herself. You have enough on your plate without worrying about the work situation of someone you don't even know. |
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smartypants71
Drama Llama
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Post by smartypants71 on Mar 19, 2024 14:20:31 GMT
I would def decline this one and for the ones that are in the last 30 mins of your day, I would state at the very beginning of the meeting that you have a hard stop at 3:30.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 19, 2024 14:29:18 GMT
Also, say you do get another job (which I hope you do!). Is it really fair to saddle someone else with a new role AND an unreliable coworker, meaning they have to learn two massive jobs. You know your coworker will throw that new hire under the bus when there are problems, and that poor person won't know any better. If you don't file the complaint for yourself (which you should), file it for the person who comes after you. This is what the Human Resources guy said. He was like even if you leave, we can't make any changes if no one files a complaint. Not your problem, jeremysgirl. That person can advocate for him or herself. You have enough on your plate without worrying about the work situation of someone you don't even know. I get this too. It really is not my responsibility to protect someone else, however, I'm not doing a very good job of protecting myself either. I don't know how much longer I will be here. Could be a month, could be another year, depending on whether I find something else. I ask myself, though, if I am stuck here another year, how am I going to cope? |
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Post by epeanymous on Mar 19, 2024 14:37:59 GMT
Rare to get literally all of the peas on one side.
Decline the meeting. Send an email saying "We may have had a misunderstanding about my working hours, but I am scheduled to leave at 3:30, and will need to leave at 3:30 every Tuesday; I cannot attend meetings outside of my scheduled hours." Period. This is ridiculous. I have an administrative assistant with a set 9:30-5 schedule, for example and sure, I don't myself have a 9:30-5 schedule and may send her tasks outside of her working hours, but I schedule send the emails with those tasks so that it doesn't even look like I am trying to get her to work/respond outside of her scheduled hours.
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Post by littlemama on Mar 19, 2024 15:13:58 GMT
Nope. I would decline and propose a time that works for you. 7am maybe? 😁
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mich5481
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,529
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Post by mich5481 on Mar 19, 2024 15:21:44 GMT
Also, say you do get another job (which I hope you do!). Is it really fair to saddle someone else with a new role AND an unreliable coworker, meaning they have to learn two massive jobs. You know your coworker will throw that new hire under the bus when there are problems, and that poor person won't know any better. If you don't file the complaint for yourself (which you should), file it for the person who comes after you. Not your problem, jeremysgirl . That person can advocate for him or herself. You have enough on your plate without worrying about the work situation of someone you don't even know. I disagree - that poor person will have no clue what they are getting into. I would personally not feel right if I left that kind of situation without filing a complaint. It should have been done weeks ago - if not for jeremysgirl's sake, than for the person who comes after her. We complain all the time about decisions the generations before us made that have left things in a bad state for us that we need to fix. We could argue that we don't need to live more sustainably for future generations because they can advocate for themselves, but that is selfish and shortsighted- this work situation is the same thing. jeremysgirl knows there is a problem, her bosses know there is a problem, and ALL of us know there is a problem. She's been told she needs to file a complaint to resolve the problem. If she won't do it for herself, at least she can do things to improve the situation for the ones who follow her. That's why we pick up litter or recycle or make more sustainable purchases - we may not benefit (although we often do), we do it to benefit those who are here after we are gone. |
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mich5481
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,529
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Post by mich5481 on Mar 19, 2024 15:22:46 GMT
Also, say you do get another job (which I hope you do!). Is it really fair to saddle someone else with a new role AND an unreliable coworker, meaning they have to learn two massive jobs. You know your coworker will throw that new hire under the bus when there are problems, and that poor person won't know any better. If you don't file the complaint for yourself (which you should), file it for the person who comes after you. This is what the Human Resources guy said. He was like even if you leave, we can't make any changes if no one files a complaint. Not your problem, jeremysgirl. That person can advocate for him or herself. You have enough on your plate without worrying about the work situation of someone you don't even know. I get this too. It really is not my responsibility to protect someone else, however, I'm not doing a very good job of protecting myself either. I don't know how much longer I will be here. Could be a month, could be another year, depending on whether I find something else. I ask myself, though, if I am stuck here another year, how am I going to cope? You won't, as you already have a lot on your plate. I know it's something you don't want to do, but you need to rip the bandaid off and file the complaint, TODAY. |
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Post by Merge on Mar 19, 2024 15:25:07 GMT
I voted no. I will say that in my district we are expected to attend some meetings outside of our work hours, but I don’t think that’s right or fair, so if you have the option, I wouldn’t do it.
At the beginning of the year my principal was wanting me to attend meetings on days I don’t work at school at all. Had to put a stop to that. I teach lessons on days I don’t work at school and am not universally available.
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Post by cmpeter on Mar 19, 2024 15:54:32 GMT
Are you hourly or salaried?
I’ll be a dissenter and say if it was me and I could change my plans, I would attend. I’d also ask to revisit the agenda to make sure my items were also included. I value time with my bosses and wouldn’t want to miss it though.
To be fair though I’m bad with work boundaries and setting limits. :-)
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 19, 2024 16:09:47 GMT
LOL! Yes, I'm my freshest in the morning! jeremysgirl knows there is a problem, her bosses know there is a problem, and ALL of us know there is a problem. She's been told she needs to file a complaint to resolve the problem. If she won't do it for herself, at least she can do things to improve the situation for the ones who follow her. That's why we pick up litter or recycle or make more sustainable purchases - we may not benefit (although we often do), we do it to benefit those who are here after we are gone. You make a good point here. I have the most power to be able to change this situation and lord knows my attempts to do so have been ignored up until this point. I'm waiting for them to reply about my decline of today's meeting. I wrote the complaint several weeks ago and we will see if I have more to include. Are you hourly or salaried? I’ll be a dissenter and say if it was me and I could change my plans, I would attend. I’d also ask to revisit the agenda to make sure my items were also included. I value time with my bosses and wouldn’t want to miss it though. I am an hourly employee. I am not allowed to work any overtime without express written permission. I agree with you that I am uneasy about not being included in meeting time with my bosses when I have the opportunity. It's 12 noon. There is a spreadsheet we need to prepare monthly by the 15th of the month for the CEO. Boss asked about it this morning. I told him my numbers were in. Hers have not been input for the past two months. He was in there looking this morning. He popped her a message in our group this morning asking for it to be done ASAP. No response in the past 3 hours. 11 am meeting? She did not attend. I declined and proposed we move the meeting to tomorrow. |
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Post by nine on Mar 19, 2024 17:44:52 GMT
In my youth I would have thought nothing of working overtime and not getting paid. I don’t think it’s right now and I’m proud of the ladies I watch on tiktok who decline these opportunities with dignity and class. I’m retired now and I wonder if I would have the nerve to do this now. My advice to you is to decline the offer and state that my work hours end at 3:30 p.m. Period. End of story.
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Post by mikklynn on Mar 19, 2024 17:48:53 GMT
The Peas have spoken. Decline the meeting. Personally, I think she did this intentionally.
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