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Post by crazy4scraps on Oct 12, 2016 15:00:17 GMT
To answer the question, no I have not, nor would I ever have an affair. I haven't ever even cheated on a steady boyfriend (but I have been cheated ON by some, which caused me to send them packing). I also know for a fact that my DH wouldn't either, because his mother was destroyed when his dad cheated on her. If we ever got to the point where we were so out of love for each other, we would get a divorce and be done with it. Having an affair is far too hurtful to do to someone you once loved.
I also agree with the other posters who noted that there is a huge difference between someone who willingly participates in an affair of any type and someone who is forcefully violated in any way. The wronged spouse in the case of an affair has every right to call BOTH participants whatever he/she wants IMO.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Oct 12, 2016 15:34:01 GMT
unless the person you're having an affair with has an open marriage or has been separated for a long time, etc. (or other extenuating circumstances that require the marriage to stay together), then yup, I would fully expect to be called some names if I was having an affair with a married man. Whore is a strong word, but in my opinion it would fit.
Of course, I wouldn't ever actually knowingly HAVE an affair with someone who's married, so according your OP, my opinion doesn't count. But why are you even asking such a question, for gosh sakes?? Why WOULDN'T you think if you're having an affair with someone married that you might be called some 'bad words' ??
eta: ahh... now that I've read the entire thread, I see what was going on. I apologize, Lauren, for asking the question you actually ASKED rather than the implied questions that you were trying to ask without really asking them. And yup, after reading the thread, it is ABSOLUTELY a political thread.
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 12, 2016 15:42:53 GMT
I think we are all allowed to have our opinions. If you are the other woman (or man), you know that some people will be calling you awful names. I think it goes with the territory of what you have done. You, the cheater, have to decide if you are what other people are saying.
I used to say I would never stay with someone who has cheated, but as I got older and watched some of my friends work out their relationships with cheaters and they are happy. It is their choice and they still think the other woman is a whore.
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Post by Zee on Oct 12, 2016 16:03:13 GMT
I can only consider the source when I wonder why this thread was even started.
Anyone on this earth that thinks it's NOT OK to call the woman who slept with your husband a whore is not someone I care to be friends with. Get the Fuck out of here!
That doesn't excuse the husband at all. They're both assholes. But some of you saying it's never ok to call another woman a whore live on a different planet than I do, one where PC has gone totally out of control.
And calling your husband's mistress a whore is nothing at all the same as talking about grabbing attractive women by the pussy without asking because you're a star.
And finally, as always on these threads, I will simply state that it's no one's business if a couple decides to fix their marriage instead of divorcing. I personally am incredibly grateful for the marriage I have now, and it wouldn't have been possible if we both had just thrown in the towel (not that I fault anyone who does, mind you, because lots of times it isn't worth fixing). It's a very individual choice.
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Post by secondlife on Oct 12, 2016 16:13:21 GMT
I can only consider the source when I wonder why this thread was even started. Anyone on this earth that thinks it's NOT OK to call the woman who slept with your husband a whore is not someone I care to be friends with. Get the Fuck out of here! That doesn't excuse the husband at all. They're both assholes. But some of you saying it's never ok to call another woman a whore live on a different planet than I do, one where PC has gone totally out of control. And calling your husband's mistress a whore is nothing at all the same as talking about grabbing attractive women by the pussy without asking because you're a star. And finally, as always on these threads, I will simply state that it's no one's business if a couple decides to fix their marriage instead of divorcing. I personally am incredibly grateful for the marriage I have now, and it wouldn't have been possible if we both had just thrown in the towel (not that I fault anyone who does, mind you, because lots of times it isn't worth fixing). It's a very individual choice. You know what though, when I was young and dumb - unmarried, unattached, naive af, and without a real understanding of the consequences of what I was doing, I had a relationship with a married woman. It was mutual - and it was stupid and it was wrong, but that does not mean that I should just take whatever people want to dish out. I'm not a whore, a slut, a dumb bitch, or anything else. I'm a person who did something shitty, sure, but I'm just going to say no, it's not OK to call me a whore, and if it's not OK to call me a whore, I can't justify saying it's OK to call someone else a whore. If that's just PC af, well, I don't know what to tell you. I have worked hard in my life to become a thoughtful, moral human and I don't accept that my behavior at that time makes it OK for folks to say what they want, including the husband of the woman I was involved with.
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Post by Zee on Oct 12, 2016 16:22:07 GMT
I can only consider the source when I wonder why this thread was even started. Anyone on this earth that thinks it's NOT OK to call the woman who slept with your husband a whore is not someone I care to be friends with. Get the Fuck out of here! That doesn't excuse the husband at all. They're both assholes. But some of you saying it's never ok to call another woman a whore live on a different planet than I do, one where PC has gone totally out of control. And calling your husband's mistress a whore is nothing at all the same as talking about grabbing attractive women by the pussy without asking because you're a star. And finally, as always on these threads, I will simply state that it's no one's business if a couple decides to fix their marriage instead of divorcing. I personally am incredibly grateful for the marriage I have now, and it wouldn't have been possible if we both had just thrown in the towel (not that I fault anyone who does, mind you, because lots of times it isn't worth fixing). It's a very individual choice. You know what though, when I was young and dumb - unmarried, unattached, naive af, and without a real understanding of the consequences of what I was doing, I had a relationship with a married woman. It was mutual - and it was stupid and it was wrong, but that does not mean that I should just take whatever people want to dish out. I'm not a whore, a slut, a dumb bitch, or anything else. I'm a person who did something shitty, sure, but I'm just going to say no, it's not OK to call me a whore, and if it's not OK to call me a whore, I can't justify saying it's OK to call someone else a whore. If that's just PC af, well, I don't know what to tell you. I don't know what to tell you either, because if it was my spouse you were sleeping with, you're a whore to me. I don't care how old you were or what you're like now. I don't personally care what you did, so I'm not PERSONALLY calling you a whore, mind you. But since men are usually pigs on the subject of lesbians, maybe he thought it was cool, who knows. If you're sleeping with a married person, you run the risk of being called a whore. Too bad. And lastly...who the hell cares if you get called a whore? It's just words.
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paigepea
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Post by paigepea on Oct 12, 2016 16:37:40 GMT
Yes, if you can forgive the sleezeball you married then you have no business calling the other woman, who never made or broke a vow to you, names. Blame the other woman, forgive the scumbag husband....that is such bullshit. And it plays into the age old nonsense that the harlots lead the poor man astray and that he needs to be forgiven while she needs to be stoned. I haven't read the replies and am not following the election because I'm not voting / not American, but as this isn't meant to be a political thread I wanted to say that this argument bothered me. Just because you forgive the sleezeball doesn't mean you didn't call him terrible things in private. And just because you stay with someone who cheated doesn't mean you forgave them right away or that your anger towards everyone involved doesn't go away. Trumps comments, though, were unrelated to anger. I don't understand how they can be considered similar to the situation you're describing. The motivation behind the words is totally different. Sure, neither words are right but it's the motivation behind them that changes how we perceive them. We understand Hilary's motivation and say it's ok. Trumps motivation was not excusable.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2016 16:46:13 GMT
You know what though, when I was young and dumb - unmarried, unattached, naive af, and without a real understanding of the consequences of what I was doing, I had a relationship with a married woman. It was mutual - and it was stupid and it was wrong, but that does not mean that I should just take whatever people want to dish out. I'm not a whore, a slut, a dumb bitch, or anything else. I'm a person who did something shitty, sure, but I'm just going to say no, it's not OK to call me a whore, and if it's not OK to call me a whore, I can't justify saying it's OK to call someone else a whore. If that's just PC af, well, I don't know what to tell you. I have worked hard in my life to become a thoughtful, moral human and I don't accept that my behavior at that time makes it OK for folks to say what they want, including the husband of the woman I was involved with. I'm sorry, but being "young and dumb" is not an excuse. I know you understand that it was wrong and a big mistake now, but the husband has the right to call you whatever he wants. And for others to think however they want of you. Unless you lived in a cave, and you did not know that what you did was wrong, you made the choice to have a relationship with a married person. And that opens you up for judgement. You can justify it all you want, that doesn't make a difference to anyone but yourself. Of course you won't want to call anyone else a whore, because that would make you a hypocrite. If I had an affair with a married person, I know that makes me a bad person. And if they wife wants to think of me as a whore, that is my lot. I made the choice to fuck up her marriage, and she can call me what the hell she wants to. If they had an open marriage, and he was ok with it, then that is different. It was a permitted union. For me, that is a gray area. I believe that if you want to have sex with multiple people, you choose to remain single. I don't get the whole open marriage or swinger lifestyle. But that is just me. If all participants are ok with it, then who am I to judge? It doesn't involve me so it's none of my business. I can still feel that it's wrong though.
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scorpeao
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Post by scorpeao on Oct 12, 2016 16:50:05 GMT
As someone whose husband had a couple of whores I have no problem calling the women what they are. If you knowingly get involved with a married man you are a whore. There are plenty of unmarried men....go suck one of their cocks!
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gina
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Jun 26, 2014 1:59:16 GMT
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Post by gina on Oct 12, 2016 17:02:13 GMT
If I were to cheat with a married man, and I knew he was married, I then run the risk of being called a sinner, a slut, a whore, a bimbo, an adulteress or any other name the wife or anyone for that matter, wants to call me. If I don't want to be called those names, then I stay away from married men. If the wife wants to forgive her husband but still vilify me, that is her prerogative. She has more invested with her husband, especially if they have children. She most likely does not have any investment with me unless I happen to be her best friend or a relative. In the case of the President and the First Lady, she is certainly in her rights to call and think of those women as sluts/whores or whatever she wants. I do too. I also think of her husband as a douchbag of the highest order. He's a bastard, scoundrel, adulterer, male whore and fucktard. But then, I am not married to him. I can't believe she forgave him and didn't divorce his cheating ass when it occurred. I think of the women he was involved with as whores. This, word for word. You cheat with a married man, you are a first class whore. I have no problem saying that to your face either. SaveSave
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Oct 12, 2016 17:07:42 GMT
I would guess that it would be more likely that someone who WAS the other woman would defend "other women" and not approve of calling them names. Again, you (and people who know you well) have more information to judge you on that might outweigh the choice you made to sleep with a married man. But to some, that decision does make a lasting impression, fair or not.
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 12, 2016 17:50:36 GMT
If you knew the man was married and had an affair anyway, you don't respect the wife, so why would even care what she calls you? Her opinion just does not matter.
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Post by papersilly on Oct 12, 2016 17:53:56 GMT
who here has ever been cheated on and had nothing but glowing words to say about the mistress? seriously? when have women gotten together after finding out one of them got cheated on and proceeded to talk about how wonderful the mistress is? how beautiful and moral she is? how she really elevated the quality of the marriage? I'm pretty sure no one ever.
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scorpeao
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Post by scorpeao on Oct 12, 2016 17:58:53 GMT
I can only consider the source when I wonder why this thread was even started. Anyone on this earth that thinks it's NOT OK to call the woman who slept with your husband a whore is not someone I care to be friends with. Get the Fuck out of here! That doesn't excuse the husband at all. They're both assholes. But some of you saying it's never ok to call another woman a whore live on a different planet than I do, one where PC has gone totally out of control. And calling your husband's mistress a whore is nothing at all the same as talking about grabbing attractive women by the pussy without asking because you're a star. And finally, as always on these threads, I will simply state that it's no one's business if a couple decides to fix their marriage instead of divorcing. I personally am incredibly grateful for the marriage I have now, and it wouldn't have been possible if we both had just thrown in the towel (not that I fault anyone who does, mind you, because lots of times it isn't worth fixing). It's a very individual choice. You know what though, when I was young and dumb - unmarried, unattached, naive af, and without a real understanding of the consequences of what I was doing, I had a relationship with a married woman. It was mutual - and it was stupid and it was wrong, but that does not mean that I should just take whatever people want to dish out. I'm not a whore, a slut, a dumb bitch, or anything else. I'm a person who did something shitty, sure, but I'm just going to say no, it's not OK to call me a whore, and if it's not OK to call me a whore, I can't justify saying it's OK to call someone else a whore. If that's just PC af, well, I don't know what to tell you. I have worked hard in my life to become a thoughtful, moral human and I don't accept that my behavior at that time makes it OK for folks to say what they want, including the husband of the woman I was involved with. Being young isn't an excuse, sorry. Let me f*ck your spouse and see how you feel about me after all is said and done...I bet you will think I'm a whore.
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Post by secondlife on Oct 12, 2016 18:03:58 GMT
You know what though, when I was young and dumb - unmarried, unattached, naive af, and without a real understanding of the consequences of what I was doing, I had a relationship with a married woman. It was mutual - and it was stupid and it was wrong, but that does not mean that I should just take whatever people want to dish out. I'm not a whore, a slut, a dumb bitch, or anything else. I'm a person who did something shitty, sure, but I'm just going to say no, it's not OK to call me a whore, and if it's not OK to call me a whore, I can't justify saying it's OK to call someone else a whore. If that's just PC af, well, I don't know what to tell you. I don't know what to tell you either, because if it was my spouse you were sleeping with, you're a whore to me. I don't care how old you were or what you're like now. I don't personally care what you did, so I'm not PERSONALLY calling you a whore, mind you. But since men are usually pigs on the subject of lesbians, maybe he thought it was cool, who knows. If you're sleeping with a married person, you run the risk of being called a whore. Too bad. And lastly...who the hell cares if you get called a whore? It's just words. The difference that it makes to me is that words actually matter - it's a judgment of a person as contemptible and worthless. I am a person who had a moral failure, and I don't excuse it or justify it but I also refuse to accept whatever abuse results from it. Many of us in this world have had moral failings of many kinds. I am still a person and I maintain my assertion of my own worth and dignity regardless of what I did. I imagine if my husband had an affair I would be devastated. One of the reasons I know this is because I know what it is. I don't pretend that I wouldn't be gutted and angry and want to lash out. But what I am making is not the emotional argument but the rational one, about humans and our failings and our dignity in our failing. I'm not saying what I did was in any way good or justifiable, not in the slightest. Just that I have seen it from the other side.
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Post by Zee on Oct 12, 2016 18:39:55 GMT
I don't know what to tell you either, because if it was my spouse you were sleeping with, you're a whore to me. I don't care how old you were or what you're like now. I don't personally care what you did, so I'm not PERSONALLY calling you a whore, mind you. But since men are usually pigs on the subject of lesbians, maybe he thought it was cool, who knows. If you're sleeping with a married person, you run the risk of being called a whore. Too bad. And lastly...who the hell cares if you get called a whore? It's just words. The difference that it makes to me is that words actually matter - it's a judgment of a person as contemptible and worthless. I am a person who had a moral failure, and I don't excuse it or justify it but I also refuse to accept whatever abuse results from it. Many of us in this world have had moral failings of many kinds. I am still a person and I maintain my assertion of my own worth and dignity regardless of what I did. I imagine if my husband had an affair I would be devastated. One of the reasons I know this is because I know what it is. I don't pretend that I wouldn't be gutted and angry and want to lash out. But what I am making is not the emotional argument but the rational one, about humans and our failings and our dignity in our failing. You can't separate emotions from humans, sorry. And if it bothers you to be called a whore by the spouse of the person you're sleeping with, then maybe don't fuck a married person. If the words of a wronged spouse would bother you that much, I'm surprised you'd ever engage in that type of behavior. As to me, if I slept with a married man, I think I'd have earned the title of slut but I doubt I'd give two shits about being called one. Do the crime, do the time, so to speak. Again I want to make it clear that I'm not making this personally about you--whatever you did isn't my business and is nothing to me. I have good friends who have had affairs and I still love them and don't think any less of them as people because our friendship has nothing to do with their marriage vows. I'd still support the right of the wronged spouse to call my friend a whore, though. Lol So I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on this.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 12, 2016 18:42:03 GMT
Dealing with adultery is rarely rational. It is very emotional. Yes, we all have failings. When I was a kid, I stole a candy bar from the corner store. My mom caught me and gave me a spanking I will never forget! I also had to go and apologize to the owner. Believe you me! I have never stolen anything again! Does that make me a thief? Yes, I suppose it does. But I was a child...not really aware of the wrong. As an adult, you would have been aware of the wrong.
Someone close to me had a relationship with a married person. I was just thinking of this since this thread popped up. Although, I've never called her out on it, I know I thought it. I didn't think it was right. The spouse never found out and they broke it off quietly. If the wife had found out, and exploded on my friend, I wouldn't be able to stick up for her. I'd feel that the wife is in her right to call her whatever she wants. If her family and friends also found out, I still wouldn't stick up for her if they also turned on her. Which most likely is what would have happened.
Some people do have the gentle nature to not go that route. I don't know of any such person though. I've witnessed plenty of infidelities of others, and the inevitable fallout from them. It's a chance you take. You certainly don't have to accept it, but you also cannot deny that it may come about. You can stop someone...hopefully...of physically attacking you because of your affair. You cannot stop someone from thinking you are a whore or whatever, or speaking it directly to you. You can deny that you are one. They may agree with you. Or not. But don't ever make the mistake that the person scorned will act rationally.
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Post by Sam on Oct 12, 2016 18:49:30 GMT
If I (knowingly) had an affair with a married man and his wife found out about it, I'd fully expect to be called a whore. I'd also think of it as a blessing that she didn't follow up by breaking my nose.
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Post by jenis40 on Oct 12, 2016 19:08:21 GMT
You know what though, when I was young and dumb - unmarried, unattached, naive af, and without a real understanding of the consequences of what I was doing, I had a relationship with a married woman. It was mutual - and it was stupid and it was wrong, but that does not mean that I should just take whatever people want to dish out. I'm not a whore, a slut, a dumb bitch, or anything else. I'm a person who did something shitty, sure, but I'm just going to say no, it's not OK to call me a whore, and if it's not OK to call me a whore, I can't justify saying it's OK to call someone else a whore. If that's just PC af, well, I don't know what to tell you. I have worked hard in my life to become a thoughtful, moral human and I don't accept that my behavior at that time makes it OK for folks to say what they want, including the husband of the woman I was involved with. Being young isn't an excuse, sorry. Let me f*ck your spouse and see how you feel about me after all is said and done...I bet you will think I'm a whore. I don't want to put words in OP's mouth but I am reading this more as she doesn't think she should continue to be called a whore today. The affair was some time ago, she realizes how wrong it was, etc. Not necessarily that she doesn't think the wronged spouses should have never said that about her.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Oct 12, 2016 19:12:10 GMT
'contemptible and worthless' is the meaning you have for the word whore... I don't necessarily see it that way. The dictionary (.com) says it means having promiscuous sex, and in my opinion, having an affair with a married person fits with my idea of promiscuous. I don't think the word whore necessarily is a value judgment of the entire person; not for me, at least. Judging their actions in that particular situation? Sure. I don't understand why someone wouldn't expect to be judged harshly (in that time and place) or understand the reason for the judging to be honest-- again in that particular time and place, in that situation.
Can people change? Of course; people can, and do, change all the time. But if I just found out someone was having - or had- an affair with my spouse, they're getting some bad language, and believe I certainly have the right to judge their values (both of them) harshly at that time.
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luckyexwife
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by luckyexwife on Oct 12, 2016 19:20:35 GMT
Well if so, then according to "theOtherMeg" you are a whore and it's perfectly ok to call you one. Sorry ladies, you'll just have to take your lumps. She's calling it as it is and you deserve whatever you are called. And because I'm sure she isn't sexist, she must also mean that if you are a married woman who has an affair, you are also a whore. Can you clarify the point of this thread please? Do you think a woman having an affair should be protected from any and all name calling? Also, I just want to point out that nothing in your original post says anything about sexual assault. I do not equate someone who has been the victim of a sexual assault at all the same as someone who has a consensual affair.
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Post by secondlife on Oct 12, 2016 19:27:29 GMT
You know what though, when I was young and dumb - unmarried, unattached, naive af, and without a real understanding of the consequences of what I was doing, I had a relationship with a married woman. It was mutual - and it was stupid and it was wrong, but that does not mean that I should just take whatever people want to dish out. I'm not a whore, a slut, a dumb bitch, or anything else. I'm a person who did something shitty, sure, but I'm just going to say no, it's not OK to call me a whore, and if it's not OK to call me a whore, I can't justify saying it's OK to call someone else a whore. If that's just PC af, well, I don't know what to tell you. I have worked hard in my life to become a thoughtful, moral human and I don't accept that my behavior at that time makes it OK for folks to say what they want, including the husband of the woman I was involved with. Being young isn't an excuse, sorry. Let me f*ck your spouse and see how you feel about me after all is said and done...I bet you will think I'm a whore. I have never at any time stood in defense of adultery. However, there was this one day when Jesus was at the temple, and the Pharisees brought him a woman who had been caught in adultery. He called her a whore because she deserved it for fucking someone else's husband... except he didn't. He also did not defend her actions. He defended HER. Ever since I discovered this, I have felt very differently about those women that had affairs with famous men such as Bill Clinton. They are not whores or bimbos or anything else they were called back then. They were women who made a terrible decision for what were likely equally terrible reasons. Monica Lewinsky's TED talk is a perfect illustration of this.
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Post by myboysnme on Oct 12, 2016 19:39:37 GMT
My first husband and I were together very briefly. He left me several times. He just didn't like being married. One time when he left me I met someone nice at work and we started seeing each other. We had a lovely affair. I never told my husband and he never found out. We reconciled for about a year and then he left again. Same story. In a 5 year marriage we were actually together half that time. This time when we separated I met someone in graduate school and I started going out with him and never again got back with my husband. I filed for final divorce decree.
He on the other hand married an 18 year old about a week after our divorce was final. We still keep in touch occasionally, and he got married last year for the 3rd time and then within one year got married a fourth time. The third marriage lasted only a few months. His new wife is 35, he's 58 now.
Anyway, my stepfather had been cheated on so when I had moved back to my mom's he had an absolute fit that I was going out with another man, even though my husband had left me. I don't really care what anyone thinks about the decisions I made. I wanted to find out if someone could love me and treat me well. I found out they could, and it wasn't my husband.
About 3 years later I got married a second time and that was 28 years ago. No affairs that I know of.
When I was about 18 and 19 in the Air Force in the '70's I met many officers/pilots who all claimed to be single when in fact they were married. One time one of the wives called up and asked for her husband. He specifically told me he was not married. She had no idea I'm sure that he was screwing around, as were most of his fellow pilots.
I don't have any more respect for either party in an affair when both knowingly get into it; the women or the men. If the couple has separated and both know they are no longer together then that's different to me. It's when there is no pretense that the marriage has problems and one or both are sneaking around that I am more judgmental.
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Post by llinin on Oct 12, 2016 19:52:41 GMT
I think it is really funny that in 2016 people can justify slut shaming. Whore, slut, bimbo, whatever one you use, all slut shaming. For folks who pride themselves on their progressive, open minded stances on everything else, it is a little surprising you are all so okay with this.
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Post by refugeepea on Oct 12, 2016 20:09:15 GMT
However, I'm still waiting for an answer to my question, are the women who claim they were raped or abused by Hillary's husband bimbos or whores as she claims they are? Do they deserve to be called such by her? If I were to cheat with a married man, and I knew he was married, I then run the risk of being called a sinner, a slut, a whore, a bimbo, an adulteress or any other name the wife or anyone for that matter, wants to call me. If I don't want to be called those names, then I stay away from married men. If the wife wants to forgive her husband but still vilify me, that is her prerogative. She has more invested with her husband, especially if they have children. She most likely does not have any investment with me unless I happen to be her best friend or a relative. In the case of the President and the First Lady, she is certainly in her rights to call and think of those women as sluts/whores or whatever she wants. I do too. I also think of her husband as a douchbag of the highest order. He's a bastard, scoundrel, adulterer, male whore and fucktard. But then, I am not married to him. I can't believe she forgave him and didn't divorce his cheating ass when it occurred. I think of the women he was involved with as whores. I'm not a whore, a slut, a dumb bitch, or anything else. I'm a person who did something shitty, sure, but I'm just going to say no, it's not OK to call me a whore, and if it's not OK to call me a whore, I can't justify saying it's OK to call someone else a whore. You did a terrible thing and you have learned a life long lesson, but you were an adult. If the husband found out and called you a whore, could you blame the man because of your actions? In that moment, yes that is what you were doing, but it shouldn't define your life either. Being young isn't an excuse. I married way too young and I've had to learn how to grow up fast, but it's my fault I made those decisions and have to live with the life long consequences. So yes, if I'm called out on being a terrible parent, it's time to see what I need to do to make things better. In general, something I do not understand is if 2 people go into an affair willingly, I don't care who is the married person, who is the single person,.... they are both to blame. I don't believe it's not as bad for the single person just because they haven't said vows.
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Post by Zee on Oct 12, 2016 20:36:28 GMT
I think it is really funny that in 2016 people can justify slut shaming. Whore, slut, bimbo, whatever one you use, all slut shaming. For folks who pride themselves on their progressive, open minded stances on everything else, it is a little surprising you are all so okay with this. Slut shaming is not the same thing as using choice words for the woman fucking your husband. I would think anyone so enlightened as yourself could see the difference, but I guess not. Are we still allowed to call a thief a thief? I'm not calling any old promiscuous woman a whore. I don't care what two consenting adults do, if they're not hurting anyone else. There's a huge difference but... you probably know that, don't you? I see Kim Kardashian get called a whore here all the time just because she's been promiscuous, dresses in revealing clothing, whatever. THAT bothers me. But if she was sleeping with a married man and it was the wife who called her one, the wife kind of earned that right.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Oct 12, 2016 20:52:56 GMT
Being young isn't an excuse, sorry. Let me f*ck your spouse and see how you feel about me after all is said and done...I bet you will think I'm a whore. I have never at any time stood in defense of adultery. However, there was this one day when Jesus was at the temple, and the Pharisees brought him a woman who had been caught in adultery. He called her a whore because she deserved it for fucking someone else's husband... except he didn't. He also did not defend her actions. He defended HER. Ever since I discovered this, I have felt very differently about those women that had affairs with famous men such as Bill Clinton. They are not whores or bimbos or anything else they were called back then. They were women who made a terrible decision for what were likely equally terrible reasons. Monica Lewinsky's TED talk is a perfect illustration of this. Do you feel the same about the person who is cheating?
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~Lauren~
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,876
Jun 26, 2014 3:33:18 GMT
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Post by ~Lauren~ on Oct 12, 2016 20:59:36 GMT
Scorpeao - are you still with the guy who had several affairs?
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Post by 2peaornot2pea on Oct 12, 2016 21:05:15 GMT
I don't know what to tell you either, because if it was my spouse you were sleeping with, you're a whore to me. I don't care how old you were or what you're like now. I don't personally care what you did, so I'm not PERSONALLY calling you a whore, mind you. But since men are usually pigs on the subject of lesbians, maybe he thought it was cool, who knows. If you're sleeping with a married person, you run the risk of being called a whore. Too bad. And lastly...who the hell cares if you get called a whore? It's just words. The difference that it makes to me is that words actually matter - it's a judgment of a person as contemptible and worthless. I am a person who had a moral failure, and I don't excuse it or justify it but I also refuse to accept whatever abuse results from it. Many of us in this world have had moral failings of many kinds. I am still a person and I maintain my assertion of my own worth and dignity regardless of what I did. I imagine if my husband had an affair I would be devastated. One of the reasons I know this is because I know what it is. I don't pretend that I wouldn't be gutted and angry and want to lash out. But what I am making is not the emotional argument but the rational one, about humans and our failings and our dignity in our failing. I'm not saying what I did was in any way good or justifiable, not in the slightest. Just that I have seen it from the other side. You committed a contemptible act. It does mean that any person harmed by your actions has the right to feel contempt towards you. That doesn't make you worthless to everyone, but anyone you harmed probably wouldn't place much value on trying to have a meaningful relationship with you.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,394
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Oct 12, 2016 21:08:03 GMT
Is there a full moon tonight?
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