kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305 
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Post by kibblesandbits on Oct 24, 2016 22:57:21 GMT
First time starting a thread! Be gentle lol
I have a cleaning lady that has been with me for a couple of years now. The usual law of diminishing returns applies, and often she asks to switch days, etc. Kind of a pain, but she does a good job so I try to be flexible. I pay well, cash, and give the usual holiday bonuses. That's the background.
Received message today stating that some personal problems (vehicle) are causing stress and could she have an advance on the next few cleanings. I considered this a bit, and then made the decision not to make the advance.
Here's the WWYD - would you have done it? I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with my decision, but then again, I probably wouldn't have been happy making the decision the other way either.
Discuss.
_____________UPDATE___________
Okay - here's what I ended up doing today. After reading all input and turning the situation over in my head all night, I realized that what I wasn't comfortable with was the presumed "work" that would go along with fronting money, as well las the position of being "owed". So - I texted her this morning and said that "check for x$ on door for you. No strings. Get your car fixed."
I think this the best end to the situation. If there is another request for money, then I'm going to have to part ways with her. I'm not a bank.
I feel better. Well, at least okay about the whole thing.
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Post by littlemama on Oct 24, 2016 22:58:18 GMT
No, I would not have given an advance.
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 7:44:30 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 24, 2016 23:00:37 GMT
No, I would not have given an advance. Once you do there will be another need in the future and it will get hard to keep up with what days she has been paid for and what days she owes to you without charge.
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scrapngranny
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Only slightly senile
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Post by scrapngranny on Oct 24, 2016 23:01:26 GMT
I may have advanced one cleaning, but no more than that.
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Post by cannes on Oct 24, 2016 23:03:40 GMT
No, I would not have given an advance. Just not something I'd feel comfortable doing. Honestly, I'd be a bit put off that she asked. I'd much prefer her asking if there were other services she could offer to increase her cash flow.
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rickmer
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Posts: 4,123
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Post by rickmer on Oct 24, 2016 23:07:09 GMT
i am not sure what i what do... i would likely say i can pay you one week in advance.
but i think what you did is better. and i do feel she had overstepped.
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Post by newfcathy on Oct 24, 2016 23:09:25 GMT
I totally agree with you, what if she then couldn't make the next few cleanings...
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
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Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Oct 24, 2016 23:10:20 GMT
No, I would not have given an advance. Just not something I'd feel comfortable doing. Honestly, I'd be a bit put off that she asked. I'd much prefer her asking if there were other services she could offer to increase her cash flow.  |
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305
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Post by kibblesandbits on Oct 24, 2016 23:14:43 GMT
No, I would not have given an advance. Once you do there will be another need in the future and it will get hard to keep up with what days she has been paid for and what days she owes to you without charge. Didn't think about that. Good point. I agree with those of you who said "unprofessional". I thought that it was a line that shouldn't have been crossed, and will lead down the proverbial slippery slope. I just didn't want to go there. The 20 minutes it took me to craft the appropriate text reply was frustrating. I didn't want to lie or make a bunch of excuses, nor did I want to say "we aren't in a position to do that", because clearly we are, or she wouldn't have asked. I ended up saying simply "I'm not comfortable with that". Ugh. I like her, and like her work, I just don't want this kind of personal enmeshment. It's a business relationship - she provides a service for which I pay her well. SaveSave |
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Post by mom on Oct 24, 2016 23:18:40 GMT
Nope, I would not advance her the money.
IF, for some strange reason I felt lead to do so, I would just give her the money with no expectation of being paid back or settling up later. But I doubt that will ever happen.
How did she respond to you saying no?
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Anita
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Location: Kansas City -ish
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Post by Anita on Oct 24, 2016 23:19:49 GMT
I think you made the right choice. Bonus points for using "enmeshment" in your last post.  |
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
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Post by kibblesandbits on Oct 24, 2016 23:25:20 GMT
Nope, I would not advance her the money. IF, for some strange reason I felt lead to do so, I would just give her the money with no expectation of being paid back or settling up later. But I doubt that will ever happen. How did she respond to you saying no? No biggie - she said she understood. Anita-  is that the word of the week? SaveSave |
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Post by hop2 on Oct 24, 2016 23:31:20 GMT
I don't think I would have either.
Unless maybe she had some sort of gift certificate system and I was sure I would stick with her awhile I might buy a gift certificate.
But not an advance.
Were it me needing the advance for my business I would ask people if they had any extra work. Deep cleaning, organizing, even errands.
I'd might introduce a new gift certificate program with a slight discount hoping some customers would opt in?
BUT even as the person in need I prefer the first option as the other way I run the risk of shorting myself later when my time has to be spent on services already paid for. To easy to get in over my head if I'm already on that brink ya know.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Oct 24, 2016 23:31:25 GMT
Not a chance.
You are her employer, not a personal loan specialist at her bank.
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smcast
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Posts: 5,320
Location: MN
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Post by smcast on Oct 25, 2016 0:22:39 GMT
Pretty ballsy on her part. I'm sure they are other people she could borrow money from or make payment arrangements without making the business relationship awkward.
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mallie
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Post by mallie on Oct 25, 2016 0:26:56 GMT
I would not have.
To be honest, the request would hAve made me extremely uncomfortable, especially given that this person has access to my house and valuables. In light of her diminishing value in combined with the pretty obnoxious request, I would probably be thinking about replacing her.
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Post by padresfan619 on Oct 25, 2016 0:27:01 GMT
No. That is a lot to ask and I wouldn't have said yes. It is easier to find a new cleaning lady than it is to hope she will pay you back.
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Post by scrapmaven on Oct 25, 2016 0:33:13 GMT
You're a boss not a bank. Perfectly fine to empathize w/her situation and tell her how sorry you are that she's in such dire straights. Wish her well and back away.
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
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Post by kibblesandbits on Oct 25, 2016 0:39:59 GMT
Pretty ballsy on her part. I'm sure they are other people she could borrow money from or make payment arrangements without making the business relationship awkward. Yeah, pretty sure that ship has sailed. SaveSave |
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
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Post by kibblesandbits on Oct 25, 2016 0:41:27 GMT
I would not have. To be honest, the request would hAve made me extremely uncomfortable, especially given that this person has access to my house and valuables. In light of her diminishing value in combined with the pretty obnoxious request, I would probably be thinking about replacing her. That's the thing - now I feel like I gotta cut her loose. And start all over again with yet another cleaning person and begin that whole process over again. Dammit. SaveSave |
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 7:44:30 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 25, 2016 0:43:15 GMT
If she were a personal maid? Yes. Someone that comes to my home once a week? Nope
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Post by katiekaty on Oct 25, 2016 1:23:11 GMT
Seriously? She has been with you for a few years and has done a good job. A few times has had to change the schedule days but always comes. Right? How much do you pay her? Less than a hundred a week? You've known her for years and trusted her to come into your home and do a god job for you. She has probably humbled herself to ask this of you and used all her other resources. You can't take a chance on her??? You would rather let her go because she asked and have to relearn and reteach someone knew and build trust with someone new?
Wow, just wow. I would have gladly "lent" it to her. and let her pay me back a little over time, maybe deducting a bit out the next few weeks cleanings.
Learn some humanity and humility.
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Post by scrapaddict702 on Oct 25, 2016 1:25:42 GMT
Absolutely not. It opens too many doors for resentment on both sides. Her doing a poor job/perception of such, you expecting more because of your generosity/her perceiving of such.
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Post by deekaye on Oct 25, 2016 1:29:59 GMT
I'm a pretty generous person but no, I would not do it. Several years ago I was in the same situation except it was a babysitter, not a house cleaner. I kept advancing her money and she kept wanting me to advance more and then (you know where this is going, right?), she ended up quitting, leaving me not only needing to hustle at the last minute to find a babysitter, but also owing me a few hundred dollars (which, of course, I never did get back).
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Post by Basket1lady on Oct 25, 2016 1:30:24 GMT
No, I would not have given an advance. Just not something I'd feel comfortable doing. Honestly, I'd be a bit put off that she asked. I'd much prefer her asking if there were other services she could offer to increase her cash flow. Neither a borrower nor a lender be. I like this idea, if you feel compelled and are able to help her. Surely there is some deep cleaning that she doesn't normally do. Once a year, I pull everything out of the fridge and wipe down the walls, wash the shelves and drawers and such. Same thing with the pantry. I also wash the kitchen floor once a year with a scrub brush, rather than a mop. Or wash the windows. Or organize the linen closet. Or dust the baseboards. Or clean the foyer chandelier. |
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lilypad
Junior Member
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Post by lilypad on Oct 25, 2016 1:35:51 GMT
I had a similar situation with my house cleaner a few years ago. She asked me to borrow $400. I decided to give her $200 and told her that she did not have to pay me back but this was a one time thing. That was probably 4 years ago and she hasn't asked me again. I do pay her well and give bonuses and pay her if I've have to cancel because of home projects etc.
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tincin
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Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Oct 25, 2016 1:41:35 GMT
Seriously? She has been with you for a few years and has done a good job. A few times has had to change the schedule days but always comes. Right? How much do you pay her? Less than a hundred a week? You've known her for years and trusted her to come into your home and do a god job for you. She has probably humbled herself to ask this of you and used all her other resources. You can't take a chance on her??? You would rather let her go because she asked and have to relearn and reteach someone knew and build trust with someone new? Wow, just wow. I would have gladly "lent" it to her. and let her pay me back a little over time, maybe deducting a bit out the next few weeks cleanings. Learn some humanity and humility. I will sit next to you on this bench. It isn't as if she was newly hired or has asked previously. Obviously something came up and she needed extra cash. I would have loaned it to her and perhaps offered her extra work to work it off instead of paying me back. There are always walls to scrub or closets that need cleaning. Save |
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Mary Kay Lady
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Oct 25, 2016 1:59:57 GMT
I agree with those who have said that they would not loan her the money. It would get confusing about what cleaning dates have been paid and when you would need to resume paying again.
Also, what's to say that she would actually show up for the pre-paid cleaning dates? With a cleaning service, the money is paid upon completion of the service.
On another note, I nanny one day a week. I use this money to make my car payments. I would never dream of asking the family I nanny for for an advance. Instead, if I had unexpected expenses, I would put it on a credit card and take on additional work to pay it off. I don't know all the details of her situation, but I think this is the course of action she should have taken.
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 25, 2016 2:12:58 GMT
For me, I would look at my budget. Fronting someone else money might put you out. Maybe you are paid weekly and just don't have the cash. I would have done a week or two if possible.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Oct 25, 2016 2:17:38 GMT
I ended up saying simply "I'm not comfortable with that". I think your response was appropriate. I don't blame you for feeling awkward about utilizing her going forward. The business relationship has taken a turn that makes it uncomfortable. |
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is that the word of the week?
