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Post by AussieMeg on Nov 26, 2016 2:58:20 GMT
A post from Mamamia came up on my FB feed yesterday about a woman who got the evil eye for not giving up her seat to a 6yo boy on a train. The article then referenced this list of who - in order - you need to give up your seat for: 1. Disabled old person 2. Disabled person 3. Very pregnant woman 4. Child 5. Regular old person 6. Not very pregnant woman 7. Regular adults So according to this list, a child is to be given a seat ahead of an old (but not disabled) person. I would give up my seat for elderly people, disabled people and pregnant women. That's about it. Certainly not for a child unless it was late and they looked tired. (I should mention that I have actually given up my seat for a child in these circumstances, on the way home from the football at 11pm.) My dad, who is 74yo, is often offered a seat on the train after the football, but he always refused the offer (after thanking the person of course) as he is fit and healthy and does not need to sit. Also, would you make your child give up a seat to an adult who wasn't disabled/elderly/pregnant? I wouldn't, and I wouldn't accept a seat from a child either. It's first in best dressed as far as I'm concerned, when it comes to able bodied adults and children.
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Post by originalvanillabean on Nov 26, 2016 3:03:53 GMT
1 2 3 5, that's it.
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Post by rst on Nov 26, 2016 3:05:13 GMT
I'd think that a child most often could sit on a parent's lap if they truly are so tired that they can't stand.
I guess for me it would depend on the circumstances, But generally I'd hope to be generous to anyone who truly needed a seat, if I were in a situation where I had the lesser need.
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Post by scrappychick on Nov 26, 2016 3:05:31 GMT
It depends on the train. There isn't anything for them to hold on to at their level, and they don't all have the balance required to stay on their feet during a bumpy ride at that age.
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Post by katlady on Nov 26, 2016 3:06:00 GMT
Small people (children and adults) have a hard time standing on a train/bus. They might not be able to reach any bars to hold on. So, I might give a small child my seat. On your list, I would most likely give up my seat for #1-#5. Is #6 a pregnant women who is not far along yet? Then I would probably give her my seat.
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StephDRebel
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Post by StephDRebel on Nov 26, 2016 3:08:04 GMT
The last time I gave up my seat for someone I ended up in a boot with broken bones, torn ligaments, damaged muscles and tendons. I'm in my second month of this nonsense with no end in sight. Hoping for January.
I may change my mind down the road, but right now you'd better be old, or really pregnant. 6 year olds apparently bounce a lot easier than I do these days.
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Post by maryland on Nov 26, 2016 3:11:17 GMT
I would give up a seat to an elderly person, disabled person, someone who has his/her hands full, someone that looks like he/she may have had a hard day and really could use a seat. I have three teen girls and they would always give up their seat on a train/bus to just about anyone! They love to help others out and love to stand on a moving metro!
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johnnysmom
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Post by johnnysmom on Nov 26, 2016 3:15:49 GMT
Never rode a train and don't have much public transportation here so I'm thinking back to the last time we were at Disney and rode a bus.
I'd obviously give up a seat to anyone who was elderly or disabled. I'd give it up for a parent with young kids and:or a kid too young to safely stand. I might give it up for a pregnant woman who looked in uncomfortable, but I don't believe that pregnancy is a disability so that wouldn't be an automatic for me. Generally speaking I'm young and fit enough to be able to stand so if someone looks like they need the seat more I'll offer it. Same goes for my kids but I don't expect them to give up a seat to just because the person is an adult, that's crazy.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 26, 2016 3:20:17 GMT
A veteran, any age or gender A disabled person, any age or gender Anyone older than me A pregnant woman Anyone with a baby/small child, regardless of age or gender Anyone who looks like they are struggling or having a very bad day, regardless of age or gender.
Just any child? Not likely. Heck, they should give up their seat for me.
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NoWomanNoCry
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Nov 26, 2016 3:21:16 GMT
1. Disabled old person YES 2. Disabled person YES 3. Very pregnant woman NO 4. Child NO 5. Regular old person YES 6. Not very pregnant woman NO 7. Regular adults NO
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Nov 26, 2016 3:33:02 GMT
My city has a pretty considerable bus fleet.
The sideways front seats on all the buses fold up for securing wheelchairs. The signs say, and the drivers enforce, "please reserve these seats for the elderly and disabled."
They do NOT say anything about giving up your seat to a kid.
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Post by dnkmmw on Nov 26, 2016 3:41:13 GMT
A veteran, any age or gender A disabled person, any age or gender Anyone older than me A pregnant woman Anyone with a baby/small child, regardless of age or gender Anyone who looks like they are struggling or having a very bad day, regardless of age or gender. Just any child? Not likely. Heck, they should give up their seat for me. If you are on a bus or train, how do you tell if someone is a veteran? As for me, I will give up a seat for someone disabled or old. I am under 40 and have had major knee surgeries on both knees. While I am very able bodied, I do struggle with maintaining my balance on moving vehicles. I think it's important that people don't judge those who look able bodied for not offering a seat.
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basketdiva
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Post by basketdiva on Nov 26, 2016 3:47:48 GMT
1. Disabled old person YES 2. Disabled person YES 3. Very pregnant woman NO 4. Child NO 5. Regular old person YES 6. Not very pregnant woman NO 7. Regular adults NO Just curious why did you say no to 3-very pregnant woman?
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Post by melanell on Nov 26, 2016 3:52:54 GMT
I have a 6 year old, and unless the 6 year old in question had special needs or the accompanying adult could not hold the child, then I do not think someone should feel the need to give up a seat for said child. If it were me with my child, he'd sit on my lap. Now, if I noticed a situation in which that wasn't working for a parent, then I hope I'd be in a situation where I could help them out by offering up a seat, but I wouldn't feel that anyone should be expected to do so in a typical parent/child situation. And I definitely think a 95 year old would better need a seat than a typical 6 year old. My 6 year old would be thrilled to death for any excuse to not have to sit down on the train. He'd much rather you give the seat to the little old lady who is perfectly healthy or a person of any degree of pregnancy before him.
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Post by melanell on Nov 26, 2016 3:54:50 GMT
If forced to give an arbitrary order (and that kills me because I prefer to make decisions on a case by case basis), I'd say that I would probably go with:
1, 2/3(tie),5,6,4,7
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Post by Rainy_Day_Woman on Nov 26, 2016 4:08:22 GMT
I give up my seat for almost all of those. Just other adults, I will sometimes not but usually I at least offer my seat to any one older than me. It's just habit.
My daughter fell on a bus when she was 5 and someone stepped on her. Our trains and buses can be quite erratic and I think it's safer for kids to be sitting so I offer my seat to young kids too.
Sometimes I just want to sit at the end of day but I feel too guilty not offering my seat.
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Post by laureljean on Nov 26, 2016 4:17:21 GMT
1. Disabled old person YES 3. Very pregnant woman YES 4. Child PROBABLY NOT 5. Regular old person YES 6. Not very pregnant woman YES 7. Regular adults PROBABLY NOT
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Post by Zee on Nov 26, 2016 4:17:25 GMT
I would give up my seat for a old person, a disabled person, a pregnant woman, or a woman with a small child.
Although last time I tried to give up my seat for a woman with a small child, she looked offended and said no thanks. This wasn't on a train, it was in the waiting area of a very busy local restaurant. After we were both seated, her baby shrieked at top volume through the whole meal and she did nothing to silence him.
I was irritated that I tried to be nice to that wretched asshole. And his mother.
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Post by brina on Nov 26, 2016 4:18:31 GMT
elderly or disabled. But not 'older' and certainly not a child. Pregnant depends - they would have to be hugely pregnant.
Interestingly, when I was in Brazil over the summer on the buses they listed elderly, disabled or obese. DH and I were discussing where they considered that line - were he and I deserving of those seats? Was it relative and we should give up seats to those bigger than us? How do they determine obese? bmi? Honestly, I could not more imagine giving my my seat to a person based on weight that I could a 6-year-old.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 26, 2016 4:21:00 GMT
If you are on a bus or train, how do you tell if someone is a veteran? Of course, you can't always, but there are clues. Tattoos, clothing, bearing. If you have spent most of your life around the military, you can often tell.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Nov 26, 2016 4:22:08 GMT
The article then referenced this list of who - in order - you need to give up your seat for:
1. Disabled old person -YES 2. Disabled person -YES 3. Very pregnant woman -YES 4. Child -maybe if it was late or the kid was obviously tired, yes if the child was young and the parent looked tired, it's easier to contain a kid in a seat than loose on public transportation. 5. Regular old person -YES, I would offer 6. Not very pregnant woman -YES 7. Regular adults -nope
I'm probably more willing because I've been in some of those situations personally. We went to Disney before I had my foot surgery and while I wasn't technically disabled, walking around for hours with bone spurs literally ripping up my big toe joint from the inside out was NOT fun. I don't know if I would have been able to stand the whole way back to the resort on that bumpy bus after all that.
I also said yes to the not very pregnant woman because I have vivid recollections of how bone tired I was in those first few months! It was awful. I've also been that parent with the tired small child. I would be happy to have my kid on my lap so as to only take up one seat for the two of us.
My other yeses are all no brainers for me and I wouldn't even hesitate.
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Post by Zee on Nov 26, 2016 4:26:07 GMT
A veteran, any age or gender A disabled person, any age or gender Anyone older than me A pregnant woman Anyone with a baby/small child, regardless of age or gender Anyone who looks like they are struggling or having a very bad day, regardless of age or gender. Just any child? Not likely. Heck, they should give up their seat for me. I wouldn't think a veteran would want my seat unless he's elderly or disabled. That seems kind of demeaning to the vet, for a woman to give up her seat for an able-bodied man (or woman) just because they're a vet? Seems like that wouldn't be an honorable thing to do, take the seat. But maybe I'm just thinking of older veterans, who in their younger days wouldn't dream of taking a woman's seat.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 26, 2016 4:28:00 GMT
I have no control over how someone reacts to my offer of a seat, or it they even want it. I would offer my seat to a veteran as a sign of respect, not insinuating that they need it more than me. YMMV
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kate
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Post by kate on Nov 26, 2016 4:32:07 GMT
Any disabled person (regardless of age) and anyone visibly and unmistakably pregnant can have my seat, as can any person holding a baby or small child. Standing children are a case-by-case thing for me - if the kid seems to be having a hard time, I'll get up. If the parents are trying to shame someone into giving up a seat by loudly saying, "I'm sorry Jordan, I know you're very tired, but today all the seats are taken - we just have to hope someone gets up at the next stop!" then I will stay planted.
I have arthritis in my knees, and I get back pain from standing for long periods (my commute is over an hour), so there are definitely days where I'm biting my lip and have tears in my eyes before I get home - but I don't have a cane or other visible sign of my pain, so I don't expect people to get up for me.
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Post by scrapmaven on Nov 26, 2016 4:52:57 GMT
I was always told as a child that you give up your seat for an elderly or disabled person.
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MsKnit
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Post by MsKnit on Nov 26, 2016 4:53:11 GMT
An elderly or disabled person, yes. Otherwise, it would depend on circumstances.
One time we were taking an excursion train ride. I was holding seats for my husband and son. The boy was 5 and needed to use the restroom before the train left. We were there early precisely to get decent seats.
Some woman, pregnant with #5, stood there and stared at me, along with 3 of her children. Number 4 was in her arms. She could stand there all damn day and stare at me for all I cared. I wasn't giving up our seats and I stared right back. It wasn't that there weren't seats. For their number, they needed to sit in one of the enclosed cars. Those were not all that great for visibility.
For clarity, I had the three seats on the end. There were two open seats beside us.
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Post by nlwilkins on Nov 26, 2016 5:11:20 GMT
I have not had much experience with trains, but we have some mighty crowded waiting rooms and some long lines that have chairs to sit in while you wait. I have tried to give up my seat many times to have no takers. It used to be that the fellows and younger ones would beat me to it, but now not so much. I was really surprised when the last time there was a seat needed and no one but my husband was willing to give up his seat. He is visibly an elderly man in his 70's but the younger men in the room, of which there were a number could care less. Now I know some of those might have had non-visible disabilities, but ALL of them?
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NoWomanNoCry
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Nov 26, 2016 5:14:49 GMT
1. Disabled old person YES 2. Disabled person YES 3. Very pregnant woman NO 4. Child NO 5. Regular old person YES 6. Not very pregnant woman NO 7. Regular adults NO Just curious why did you say no to 3-very pregnant woman? Idk I just wouldn't. I don't see being pregnant as a handicap which is one of the reasons I would give up my seat for. Now if the pregnant women was in visible distress from standing up I would but I would do that for anyone if I seen they were in distress.
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Post by anniefb on Nov 26, 2016 5:44:59 GMT
1, 2, 3, 5 and 6. Not for a chid unless they're really struggling to hold on/stand etc - and if that's the case, they're probably really young and travelling with parents. I don't travel on trains very often but I catch buses to work each day. It really annoys me when I see kid (usually 11-17 yrs old) sitting and adults standing. I quite often ask them to give their seat to someone older It's annoying because it says to me lack of respect for adults, plus kids should be on the school bus, not taking up seats on the bus that's heading into the city and is meant for workers.
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Post by katlady on Nov 26, 2016 5:50:46 GMT
plus kids should be on the school bus, not taking up seats on the bus that's heading into the city and is meant for workers. I took public transportation to school. We did not have school bus service. Of course, the drivers hated us when it was time to go home. Some would even not stop to pick us up.
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