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Post by pondrunner on Sept 14, 2017 0:20:21 GMT
Because we know that it's tough to do much without a college degree. My kids have been told since day one unless they have a really good paying job or are independently wealthy at the age of 18, they will be going to college. If they decide in a year they don't want to continue? Unless there's a physical or emotional reason for them not to be on their own and working, they'll be on their own. I'm 3 out of 4 so far and don't see number 4 choosing to do something else, so for us, college would be considered in a divorce decree. May work differently for other families but that's what I would expect. And I know my husband wouldn't balk at paying for college. We've been saving for their college educations for 25 years - it's hard for me to picture him changing his tune now. There's a real push as of late to learn a trade vs a college education. My husband and I both make 6 figures a year and neither has a college education. Almost every single wealthy person I know in our town is a tradesperson. We make more than my SIL who has a doctorate and works for a huge drug company. If one of your kids wants to be a plumber or an electrician instead, I hope you'll be open to that. We need more plumbers and electricians! OTOH I find that in parts of my state many children who are very capable and deserve an opportunity for higher education don't get a fair shake and are pigeonholed because "college isn't for everyone" and they are never given a chance to dream big. I'm grateful for the spectrum of people who do a wide variety of necessary jobs. I work in public education and I will tell you that our buildings and kitchen staff are every bit as essential as the superintendent or the principal or me or anybody else with a Dr. in front of our names. Work is important and I don't discount the need for trade education and other vocational options. I just don't want to see kids pushed to enlist in the military or go to trade school unless it's a calling. Just like I don't want kids to get pushed to four year colleges unless it's a calling. What's I really think we needn't is more kids who see and select an opportunity based on what's right for them. I'm not a plumber or a glass person - I'm an educator, that was my calling and it took an extraordinary amount of work to get here. Lots of people tried to limit me over the years for a variety of reasons and it was suggested that as an English language learner and immigrant perhaps an ECE certificate would mean steady work and lots of opportunities. That wasn't what I wanted. Vision and perseverance was needed to make the right decision and I grew up in a time and place where everyone wanted to set my sights somewhere I didn't actually want to be.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Sept 14, 2017 1:46:37 GMT
There's a real push as of late to learn a trade vs a college education. My husband and I both make 6 figures a year and neither has a college education. Almost every single wealthy person I know in our town is a tradesperson. We make more than my SIL who has a doctorate and works for a huge drug company. If one of your kids wants to be a plumber or an electrician instead, I hope you'll be open to that. We need more plumbers and electricians! OTOH I find that in parts of my state many children who are very capable and deserve an opportunity for higher education don't get a fair shake and are pigeonholed because "college isn't for everyone" and they are never given a chance to dream big. I'm grateful for the spectrum of people who do a wide variety of necessary jobs. I work in public education and I will tell you that our buildings and kitchen staff are every bit as essential as the superintendent or the principal or me or anybody else with a Dr. in front of our names. Work is important and I don't discount the need for trade education and other vocational options. I just don't want to see kids pushed to enlist in the military or go to trade school unless it's a calling. Just like I don't want kids to get pushed to four year colleges unless it's a calling. What's I really think we needn't is more kids who see and select an opportunity based on what's right for them. I'm not a plumber or a glass person - I'm an educator, that was my calling and it took an extraordinary amount of work to get here. Lots of people tried to limit me over the years for a variety of reasons and it was suggested that as an English language learner and immigrant perhaps an ECE certificate would mean steady work and lots of opportunities. That wasn't what I wanted. Vision and perseverance was needed to make the right decision and I grew up in a time and place where everyone wanted to set my sights somewhere I didn't actually want to be. OTOOH, there's kids that are "forced" into going to college that really don't want to continue on and would have been much happier without a $100k loan at the end! I don't disagree that you shouldn't follow your dream, but on the other hand, you need to be realistic. How many jobs will you get with your Italian Basket Weaving degree? Maybe their parents should encourage them to consider all avenues. My sister is a hairdresser and her husband is a heating/ac guy. They make bank and love their jobs. Maybe.... one of these kids being told they have no choice but to go to school, would rather cut hair for a living.
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Post by melanell on Sept 14, 2017 1:58:05 GMT
I think this depends on so many factors that one sweeping answer would never work.
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Deleted
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May 5, 2024 12:47:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2017 2:25:48 GMT
I do not believe college tuition should be considered in divorce decrees. College is not an obligation that parents must meet, rather an elective choice.
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Deleted
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May 5, 2024 12:47:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2017 2:33:06 GMT
holy shit i live on a different planet from so many of you Me too.
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Deleted
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May 5, 2024 12:47:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2017 2:36:39 GMT
In order to require college as part of all divorce settlements, are we going to require every parent to bankroll college educations? Even before our divorce my ex and I weren't in a place to pay toward our kids' college educations. They were welcome to live at home to cut expenses and a little spending money from time to time but that was going to be about all we had. I don't see how you can tell a divorced parent they must do something other parents aren't required to do.
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Post by mcscrapper on Sept 14, 2017 3:04:41 GMT
First of all, I don't think a college degree is the golden ticket to anything. I can speak from experience when I say that I made more money BEFORE I got my four year nursing degree. I can say with 100% certainty that I am infinitely happier where I am now in comparison to where I was before earning my degree.
Secondly, college / higher education is definitely not for everyone. I know plenty of people that thrive in a "blue collar" job and wouldn't be suited for a desk job of any kind.
The way I see it is, college is not a right. It is definitely a privilege, and don't think college tuition should be part of the divorce decree. What if the chosen college costs $50k per year. As a nurse, there is no way I could afford $25k per year to send my child to school based on my current salary if I didn't save her whole life. Maybe my ex could afford that but wants to stick me for half of the tuition and then makes me out to be the bad mom that can't pay the tuition.
I agree that every situation is different and should be addressed on an individual basis but also re-evaluated if one parent has a vastly different financial situation from the original decree.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,599
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Sept 14, 2017 10:44:45 GMT
Because we know that it's tough to do much without a college degree. My kids have been told since day one unless they have a really good paying job or are independently wealthy at the age of 18, they will be going to college. If they decide in a year they don't want to continue? Unless there's a physical or emotional reason for them not to be on their own and working, they'll be on their own. I'm 3 out of 4 so far and don't see number 4 choosing to do something else, so for us, college would be considered in a divorce decree. May work differently for other families but that's what I would expect. And I know my husband wouldn't balk at paying for college. We've been saving for their college educations for 25 years - it's hard for me to picture him changing his tune now. There's a real push as of late to learn a trade vs a college education. My husband and I both make 6 figures a year and neither has a college education. Almost every single wealthy person I know in our town is a tradesperson. We make more than my SIL who has a doctorate and works for a huge drug company. If one of your kids wants to be a plumber or an electrician instead, I hope you'll be open to that. We need more plumbers and electricians! Absolutely. I completely agree with you. Going into a trade, would be, as I said in my very first response "a very good job." (Everyone seemed to miss that...)
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Post by lisacharlotte on Sept 14, 2017 13:19:03 GMT
I can't help it, it's like watching a Downton Abbey. "He's in trade, not a good prospect at all." I think the American attitude about college is a matter of class. People think a 4 year degree is going to guarantee them a white collar job and elevate them beyond the lower classes that didn't go to college. And we've gotten such education inflation that even skilled labor jobs are advertised as requiring a degree and pay $12/hr. Trade schools and apprenticeships lead to CAREERS not just a job. Everyone can't be the boss. We also need workers.
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Post by giatocj on Sept 14, 2017 13:29:34 GMT
I chose "other" because I think that a college fund (or some sort of long term savings) contributed to by both parents up to HS graduation would be a fair compromise. Maybe even earmark "x" amount of child support each month to go towards it. I just think that there is some parental responsibility to help your kids pay for college, but that's just me.
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vanessa
Full Member
Posts: 142
Sept 15, 2015 4:25:10 GMT
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Post by vanessa on Sept 17, 2017 5:08:53 GMT
Our daughter just graduated from College of the Ozarks. www.cofo.eduEvery student is given a scholarship for tuition and they can opt to work on campus each summer to cover their room and board. Our oldest daughter just graduated with two Bach degrees (she figured if she could get one free degree she would work harder and get two). If you are in Missouri or a nearby state it's very much worth looking into. And don't get me started on the cultural and patriotic education trips that she was able to take, such as Vietnam where she accompanied a veteran to the sites where he fought. “C of O is unique among higher education institutions in America: no tuition is charged, all students work on campus, debt is openly discouraged, and no federal, state or private loans are made.” - Jerry C. Davis, President
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Post by jackie on Sept 17, 2017 12:26:08 GMT
While I agree college, or some kind of career training, is very important for everyone, the idea that all parents can and should fund their kids' tuition is unfair and unrealistic. I'm envious of those of you that can do it, but for sone that would be financial ruin. Even 6k (the tuition Nancy cited--and keep in mind, that's one semester, so multiply that by at least 8), would be an undue burden for some.
I have a daughter who is a senior this year and has worked very hard toward qualifying for scholarships. Her college choices will be stringly influenced by who can give her the most money. Her brother earned a full scholarship and were hoping she'd and do similar or the same. I agree I don't want her to come out with a bunch of debt. We'll help her as we can.
That College of the Ozarks Vanessa mentioned looked interesting. I read up on it. It looks like assistance is need-based though. Due to its small sized and it's Christ-centered lean, I don't think it would work for my dd, but it looks really interesting and definitely worth looking into for some.
ETA: to the poll I answered no, that it should stop at 18 or high school graduation. I think parents *should* help or fund entirely as they are able. But I don't think that should be decreed by law for divorced parents anymore than it is for non-divorced parents.
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Post by anxiousmom on Sept 17, 2017 12:46:34 GMT
I guess in some ways I live in different world too.
I have a college degree. My ex has multiple degrees w/a professional degree that puts him in the 'highly affluent' category.
The way we work it is that I, as the custodial parent, complete the FAFSA and my income is what the financial award is based on. My ex pays the rest.
Here are the caveats:
My degree means f-all for income. I barely make over poverty level income. I have NO extra money whatsoever.
My older boy did join the National Guard to help, but he wasn't pushed into it. He did it by his choice of wanting to serve and go to school.
My ex has had a huge reversal of fortunes lately and can't help any more. That means the kids are having to pick up some of the slack beyond what moneys they get from FAFSA (and in the case of the older boy, the National Guard.)
I don't believe that a college degree is the end all to be all to a happy life. I want my children to be happy in their lives and if that means that they are welders or mechanics or lawyers or indian chiefs then that is okay with me.
And in the long run, I don't think that college costs should be included in divorce decrees. College is not a right, but a choice and that choice should be left up to the kid in question. The parents in question can help to the degree in which they can, but over all, it shouldn't be a forced choice.
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Post by FLA SummerBaby on Sept 18, 2017 19:45:39 GMT
I divorced 20 years ago when my DD was less than 1 year old. I was told that (at least in our area) that it could not be considered part of the divorce decree because DD would already be 18 by the time she started college. In fact, Florida has one of those "prepaid college" programs that I had enrolled her in prior to our divorce and I was advised to keep it with only 1 beneficiary so it would not become subject to "marital assets". DD graduates at the end of the semester --- no thanks to my ex or any financial assistance!! Everything for undergrad was covered by my prepaid plan and the other academic scholarships she received.
My brother d'v in NY and is required to help with college expenses for both kids all the way through undergrad completion -- even if it takes longer than 4 years!
Good luck!!
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Deleted
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May 5, 2024 12:47:09 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2017 0:00:45 GMT
I chose "other" because I think that a college fund (or some sort of long term savings) contributed to by both parents up to HS graduation would be a fair compromise. Maybe even earmark "x" amount of child support each month to go towards it. I just think that there is some parental responsibility to help your kids pay for college, but that's just me. Will parents still married also be required to contribute towards a college education? I agree that an education or training in a trade is of utmost importance after graduation, I don't see how you can force divorced parents to do something that parents still married aren't forced to do.
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Post by giatocj on Sept 19, 2017 14:36:02 GMT
I chose "other" because I think that a college fund (or some sort of long term savings) contributed to by both parents up to HS graduation would be a fair compromise. Maybe even earmark "x" amount of child support each month to go towards it. I just think that there is some parental responsibility to help your kids pay for college, but that's just me. Will parents still married also be required to contribute towards a college education? I agree that an education or training in a trade is of utmost importance after graduation, I don't see how you can force divorced parents to do something that parents still married aren't forced to do. As I said, I think that there is "some parental responsibility to help your kids pay for college, but that's just me". I'm not sure I differentiated between single, divorced, married or any other kind of parent...to me, it applies to ALL parents. So in a divorce, as in any other parental situation, IN MY OPINION, it should be considered.
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Post by workingclassdog on Sept 19, 2017 14:51:12 GMT
I think if it was discussed before the divorce, when happily married, whatever the decision was then and what you are currently doing to achieve that goal. If money is good and you are currently saving and you have always planned sending your child to college, yes then it should be included.
If you never discussed it or saved for it, then no it should not be included.
If you were planning on it and started saving but financially couldn't save anymore before and at the time of divorce, no it shouldn't be included.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Sept 19, 2017 15:11:49 GMT
OTOH I find that in parts of my state many children who are very capable and deserve an opportunity for higher education don't get a fair shake and are pigeonholed because "college isn't for everyone" and they are never given a chance to dream big. I'm grateful for the spectrum of people who do a wide variety of necessary jobs. I work in public education and I will tell you that our buildings and kitchen staff are every bit as essential as the superintendent or the principal or me or anybody else with a Dr. in front of our names. Work is important and I don't discount the need for trade education and other vocational options. I just don't want to see kids pushed to enlist in the military or go to trade school unless it's a calling. Just like I don't want kids to get pushed to four year colleges unless it's a calling. What's I really think we needn't is more kids who see and select an opportunity based on what's right for them. I'm not a plumber or a glass person - I'm an educator, that was my calling and it took an extraordinary amount of work to get here. Lots of people tried to limit me over the years for a variety of reasons and it was suggested that as an English language learner and immigrant perhaps an ECE certificate would mean steady work and lots of opportunities. That wasn't what I wanted. Vision and perseverance was needed to make the right decision and I grew up in a time and place where everyone wanted to set my sights somewhere I didn't actually want to be. OTOOH, there's kids that are "forced" into going to college that really don't want to continue on and would have been much happier without a $100k loan at the end! I don't disagree that you shouldn't follow your dream, but on the other hand, you need to be realistic. How many jobs will you get with your Italian Basket Weaving degree? Maybe their parents should encourage them to consider all avenues. My sister is a hairdresser and her husband is a heating/ac guy. They make bank and love their jobs. Maybe.... one of these kids being told they have no choice but to go to school, would rather cut hair for a living. And you can do both. Having a college degree does not mean you can't have a career in HVAC or Cosmetology. There are a ton of choices.. and very few people these days end up in a career that they went to college to study. We all have to decide what path is best for our family and kids. (Not every college graduate has $100K in loans) I want my daughter to go to college for the education and the experience. Then she gets to choose what to do with that as an adult. As she wants to be an actress, college is not necessary, but I believe it will be beneficial.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Sept 19, 2017 15:17:44 GMT
In order to require college as part of all divorce settlements, are we going to require every parent to bankroll college educations? Even before our divorce my ex and I weren't in a place to pay toward our kids' college educations. They were welcome to live at home to cut expenses and a little spending money from time to time but that was going to be about all we had. I don't see how you can tell a divorced parent they must do something other parents aren't required to do.That is sort of the whole point of a settlement agreement. You are deciding issues that will affect children in the future. Married couples are also not required to spend holidays with their own kids, or pay a certain percentage of medical care. But these things are determined to help ensure that the kids have some continuity and are cared for at a similar level to pre-divorce. I think the point of having college in a divorce settlement is to carry out the intentions of the couple when they were married. If paying for college isn't an option at the time then I think it should be stated, so there aren't surprises down the road.
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Post by not2peased on Sept 19, 2017 15:46:17 GMT
for those who think it should be included in divorce decrees, how do you feel about kids suing their parents for not paying for college?
IME, people are all for making the other guy pay for college, but not as keen on being forced to pay for it themselves.
if you support divorced parents having to fund college for their kids, you must think it's a parental obligation to pay for school for your kids-even if you aren't divorced
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Post by busy on Sept 19, 2017 15:54:40 GMT
for those who think it should be included in divorce decrees, how do you feel about kids suing their parents for not paying for college? IME, people are all for making the other guy pay for college, but not as keen on being forced to pay for it themselves. if you support divorced parents having to fund college for their kids, you must think it's a parental obligation to pay for school for your kids-even if you aren't divorced The impression I got from most peas who think it should be addressed in the divorce is that first they make a decision whether or not they intended to pay and whether it's in part or in whole. And *that* is what goes in the divorce decree. I don't think most are saying parents should be required to pay just because they get divorced.
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Post by workingclassdog on Sept 19, 2017 16:03:29 GMT
I have to say my daughter is going to a university and not paying a cent or very little. In fact she got a refund this semester. She wanted to join the Navy. She went through boot camp and four days before graduation she had to go to medical for a minor issue. That minor issue cause her to get a medical discharge (she did not want that at all) but now she is considered an 'independent' and they can't use our income (which is low anyways). So basically she is getting a free education at a major university. We didn't do this on purpose, it just happened, but sure has been a blessing on all of us, especially her!!
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Post by not2peased on Sept 19, 2017 16:22:09 GMT
for those who think it should be included in divorce decrees, how do you feel about kids suing their parents for not paying for college? IME, people are all for making the other guy pay for college, but not as keen on being forced to pay for it themselves. if you support divorced parents having to fund college for their kids, you must think it's a parental obligation to pay for school for your kids-even if you aren't divorced The impression I got from most peas who think it should be addressed in the divorce is that first they make a decision whether or not they intended to pay and whether it's in part or in whole. And *that* is what goes in the divorce decree. I don't think most are saying parents should be required to pay just because they get divorced. they want their ex spouse legally obligated to pay for school when it's not a requirement of parents who are married-even those who discuss these things & have an agreement ahead of time. if they think that the court can address any changed circumstances that might alter or nullify the agreement, same thing can apply for non divorced parents-they can petition, and pay all the legal fees to get their agreement altered or anulled altogether. fair is fair, right?
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Post by busy on Sept 19, 2017 16:28:03 GMT
The impression I got from most peas who think it should be addressed in the divorce is that first they make a decision whether or not they intended to pay and whether it's in part or in whole. And *that* is what goes in the divorce decree. I don't think most are saying parents should be required to pay just because they get divorced. they want their ex spouse legally obligated to pay for school when it's not a requirement of parents who are married-even those who discuss these things ahead of time. Well... yes, but it's not that simple. When you're married, you're making future decisions together and you have your immediate family to be concerned with. When you get divorced, there's a fairly good chance that one or both partners will remarry and potentially have other kids. It's only prudent to protect the kids from the previous marriage to the extent possible before that happens. Too often, parents who divorce "amicably" are on the same page about paying for future education until one or both of them gets involved with someone else and/or has more children. Then things tend to change and often the "new" kids get benefits that the first kids no longer do, including education funding, if it's not enshrined in the divorce decree.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Sept 19, 2017 16:29:03 GMT
The impression I got from most peas who think it should be addressed in the divorce is that first they make a decision whether or not they intended to pay and whether it's in part or in whole. And *that* is what goes in the divorce decree. I don't think most are saying parents should be required to pay just because they get divorced. they want their ex spouse legally obligated to pay for school when it's not a requirement of parents who are married-even those who discuss these things ahead of time. That's not what I said - I said college tuition should be discussed and considered in the context of the divorce settlement. My husband and I have discussed college extensively as a married couple and our financial decisions reflect our understanding on how we would approach higher education for our children. If we divorced, college education would absolutely need to be discussed as if he was no longer willing to contribute it would change the negotiation of splitting of marital assets - and I guarantee you, he would have the same desire to ensure my contribution. Diffferent families will have different experiences and ability to contribute - but it should be CONSIDERED within their family dynamics.
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suzastampin
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,587
Jun 28, 2014 14:32:59 GMT
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Post by suzastampin on Sept 19, 2017 16:47:38 GMT
Both of my granddaughters' college tuition is being paid for by their dad. He makes probably 4 times what my daughter makes. In their divorce, my daughter took less child support if he would pay for their college. But, he's only paying for 4 years. One has graduated and is going on for more college. She now needs to apply for financial assistance, she has to work, and he will kick in the remainder, if there is any.
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Post by not2peased on Sept 19, 2017 16:51:21 GMT
they want their ex spouse legally obligated to pay for school when it's not a requirement of parents who are married-even those who discuss these things ahead of time. That's not what I said - I said college tuition should be discussed and considered in the context of the divorce settlement. My husband and I have discussed college extensively as a married couple and our financial decisions reflect our understanding on how we would approach higher education for our children. If we divorced, college education would absolutely need to be discussed as if he was no longer willing to contribute it would change the negotiation of splitting of marital assets - and I guarantee you, he would have the same desire to ensure my contribution. Diffferent families will have different experiences and ability to contribute - but it should be CONSIDERED within their family dynamics. all very nice if they agree, however, a judge ultimately decides what happens and having a judge force a parent to pay for school when they don't want to/can't afford to, etc is all well and good-as long as you impose the same burden on married parents. they too, can go before a judge and have the judge decide whether or not they have to pay-just like the divorced parents so many of you want to impose this on. It's not lost on me, just how many peas are on the receiving end of support, and not the paying end. It's a lot easier to decide what someone else should have to pay for when it's not you having to pay it, IME.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Sept 19, 2017 17:24:53 GMT
That's not what I said - I said college tuition should be discussed and considered in the context of the divorce settlement. My husband and I have discussed college extensively as a married couple and our financial decisions reflect our understanding on how we would approach higher education for our children. If we divorced, college education would absolutely need to be discussed as if he was no longer willing to contribute it would change the negotiation of splitting of marital assets - and I guarantee you, he would have the same desire to ensure my contribution. Diffferent families will have different experiences and ability to contribute - but it should be CONSIDERED within their family dynamics. all very nice if they agree, however, a judge ultimately decides what happens and having a judge force a parent to pay for school when they don't want to/can't afford to, etc is all well and good-as long as you impose the same burden on married parents. they too, can go before a judge and have the judge decide whether or not they have to pay-just like the divorced parents so many of you want to impose this on. It's not lost on me, just how many peas are on the receiving end of support, and not the paying end. It's a lot easier to decide what someone else should have to pay for when it's not you having to pay it, IME. Actually your assumption fails with me - I've almost always been the higher income spouse. It's actually ridiculous to suggest that college shouldn't be CONSIDERED. There are 12 million 529 plans out there-unfortunately a high percentage of those plans will end up in the hands of a divorced spouse. The spouse who assumes that the 529 plan that remains in their spouse's name will benefit his or her children without any legal requirement is a fool. The CHILD is not the owner of the account. A divorced spouse can withdraw that money or transfer it to another beneficiary at any time. If a parent can't pay, a parent can't pay. All divorce decisions ultimately fall into individual circumstances. No judge is going to require a father making $30K a year to pay $100K a year in college expenses.
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Post by not2peased on Sept 19, 2017 17:52:18 GMT
all very nice if they agree, however, a judge ultimately decides what happens and having a judge force a parent to pay for school when they don't want to/can't afford to, etc is all well and good-as long as you impose the same burden on married parents. they too, can go before a judge and have the judge decide whether or not they have to pay-just like the divorced parents so many of you want to impose this on. It's not lost on me, just how many peas are on the receiving end of support, and not the paying end. It's a lot easier to decide what someone else should have to pay for when it's not you having to pay it, IME. Actually your assumption fails with me - I've almost always been the higher income spouse. It's actually ridiculous to suggest that college shouldn't be CONSIDERED. There are 12 million 529 plans out there-unfortunately a high percentage of those plans will end up in the hands of a divorced spouse. The spouse who assumes that the 529 plan that remains in their spouse's name will benefit his or her children without any legal requirement is a fool. The CHILD is not the owner of the account. A divorced spouse can withdraw that money or transfer it to another beneficiary at any time. If a parent can't pay, a parent can't pay. All divorce decisions ultimately fall into individual circumstances. No judge is going to require a father making $30K a year to pay $100K a year in college expenses. first of all, you are talking about one very small aspect of the issue (529) and yes, I am divorced, and I am the higher earning spouse (then and now)I am simply commenting on what I have seen in my 10+ years on this board and all it's iterations. The peas that tend to comment on these types of threads (divorce, child support, etc) skew more towards moms getting child support, rather than paying. I am well aware there are plenty of moms who pay support (I was one of them for a time)and well aware that plenty of women make more than their spouses. I am stating what I personally, have seen here on this board. If you think more moms that participate in these types of discussions on this board pay support than receive, then by all means, let's hear it, but I don't think it would be an accurate statement. NH doesn't require an ex spouse to pay for college, even if a previous agreement or order existed. It's because they have the "stupid" notion that imposing something on divorced spouses that isn't also a requirement for married spouses is pretty damn unfair. You keep assuming that divorced couples agree about these issues and IME, more often than not, they do not agree, leaving it up to a judge to decide. let's throw the same requirement back to married couples and if they can't agree with their kid about what amount (if any) college money is "fair" let a judge decide for them. after all, a judge wouldn't make someone pay something they couldn't afford, right? You should have NO reason to worry if YOU had to go before a judge because your daughter or son thought you should/could pay more than what you already decided was feasible.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Sept 19, 2017 18:53:18 GMT
Actually your assumption fails with me - I've almost always been the higher income spouse. It's actually ridiculous to suggest that college shouldn't be CONSIDERED. There are 12 million 529 plans out there-unfortunately a high percentage of those plans will end up in the hands of a divorced spouse. The spouse who assumes that the 529 plan that remains in their spouse's name will benefit his or her children without any legal requirement is a fool. The CHILD is not the owner of the account. A divorced spouse can withdraw that money or transfer it to another beneficiary at any time. If a parent can't pay, a parent can't pay. All divorce decisions ultimately fall into individual circumstances. No judge is going to require a father making $30K a year to pay $100K a year in college expenses. first of all, you are talking about one very small aspect of the issue (529) and yes, I am divorced, and I am the higher earning spouse (then and now)I am simply commenting on what I have seen in my 10+ years on this board and all it's iterations. The peas that tend to comment on these types of threads (divorce, child support, etc) skew more towards moms getting child support, rather than paying. I am well aware there are plenty of moms who pay support (I was one of them for a time)and well aware that plenty of women make more than their spouses. I am stating what I personally, have seen here on this board. If you think more moms that participate in these types of discussions on this board pay support than receive, then by all means, let's hear it, but I don't think it would be an accurate statement. NH doesn't require an ex spouse to pay for college, even if a previous agreement or order existed. It's because they have the "stupid" notion that imposing something on divorced spouses that isn't also a requirement for married spouses is pretty damn unfair. You keep assuming that divorced couples agree about these issues and IME, more often than not, they do not agree, leaving it up to a judge to decide. let's throw the same requirement back to married couples and if they can't agree with their kid about what amount (if any) college money is "fair" let a judge decide for them. after all, a judge wouldn't make someone pay something they couldn't afford, right? You should have NO reason to worry if YOU had to go before a judge because your daughter or son thought you should/could pay more than what you already decided was feasible. I'm speaking for myself - I don't know or care whether or peas are receiving support or not. While 529s may be a relatively small aspect, they're part of a larger context of financial unraveling of a married couple. The negotiations around that unwinding should include any potential future support. About 60% of children receive any help with college, so I'm sure only a similar number of divorces with children would include a provision. If you're low income and have never intended to help pay for you children's college, it may be a small or non-existent factor. If you'd accumulated a few hundred thousand in a 529, it's pretty important. And if you've gone through the entire negotiation of splitting of marital assets and an understanding how and if the parents are contributing to college and a NH judge throws it out a later, that's bullshit - particularly if a spouse relinquished other assets based on that understanding. I currently hold both of our children's 529 in my name. It would be utterly unfair for me to claim I will use those marital assets for the benefit of the children and split our other assets with that agreement and then turn around 5 years from now and decide - well I don't believe in paying for college and cash it out.
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