question about DEPRESSION

I don't personally but have family members that do. There are a few that think it's that easy, which is frustrating.
While I'm no help to your original question, I hope that you are seeing someone who can help you. We all care about you. ((Hugs))

First hugs.

Second, I honestly think unless you've lived through the darkness, it's really hard to understand when someone says they have depression. Plus, there are so many levels for lack of a better word. I live with depression, but not nearly to the extent that others I care about do. it's the same with treatment, if you've never experienced it you have no idea the highs and lows of finding the right mix of meds/homeopathic (if that works for you) etc and how much of a roller coaster it can be.

It's far to easy to think of it as oh, she's just sad or she's "in a mood".

I'm sorry, it sucks when people you care about don't get it.

I think anything internal is subject to that reaction, whether it be mental or physical issues. My best advice is to blow them off, but it is easier said than done. I don't think most people who care about you say it to be hurtful, but it still is.

Far too common, I am afraid. I am really sorry this is happening. I wish you peace, as much as possible and in short order.

The undereducated are prone to drop this gem on the "other" type of depressed people as well- the bereaved. Half of the family of my MIL expected her to snap out of it within a year of losing her DH. Equally cruel and unnecessary.

Absolutely. And there are people who can pretend their way through it or work around it. "High-functioning" depression and anxiety are real. That doesn't mean that every person or even most people with depression and/or anxiety are like that, or frankly, that there's anything healthy about ignoring your own misery like that.

Like with any medical condition, there are some folks who think that because they know one person with the condition, they know everything about that condition and how others should respond to it. My personal feeling is that if your name doesn't end with M.D., your opinion is not relevant. Just because your cousin Marsha cured her depression with essential oils and yoga doesn't mean that those methods work for everyone.

Yes, that is why I believe we need a new medical term for this mental illness. There is depression, such as "darn, I'm depressed because "Outlander" is over and won't be on again for 9 more months". Which is completely, utterly different from clinical depression, a medical mental illness that occurs in the brain because of an imbalance of chemicals. I had clinical depression that lasted 10 years. I was told by a few people to "snap out of it", "you can decide to be happy if you want to" and so on. No one on this board, this was in real life. The thing is "if it really was that easy" I felt like telling them, "I would have done that years ago you moron!". Did they actually think someone chooses to feel that horrible? They just don't get it. So I decided to educate them. I told them the difference between "depression" and "clinical depression" an illness that occurs inside the brain because of an imbalance of chemicals. Sometimes it worked, most times it didn't. It's really all you can do. Educate people to show them the difference. 

I'm so very sorry you are going through this-the pain of depression and especially the pain of people not understanding. Has this been going on a long time for you (the illness) and have you been taking various medications? If you've been struggling a long time without any benefit I often tell people to get a blood test for defective MTHFR gene. That's what ended up curing me. I got that test, turned out I had two factors for the defective gene. What it means is if you have it you can't process B12 in the normal form-either by your food or normal supplements. After many years of not getting enough B12 (because you can't process it) you end up with depression. My regular blood tests every year didn't catch it-they showed normal results even though they weren't normal. Once I was diagnosed and put on the correct form of B12 (I take a supplement called Homocysteine Supreme by Designs for Health) my depression vanished. It's been a few years and it never came back. 

Since it's a simple blood test I recommend at least getting it. Some traditional doctors don't know about it but some do. I used an Integrative Medicine doctor. He's a board certified internist who also does alternative care. 

I wish you the best of luck! 

Yes, I have had people tell me that. And I would bet that most have never dealt with clinical depression.

I absolutely cannot discuss my bipolar disorder with my dad. And the thing is...he has it too. He is in such deep denial about it, he can't even discuss it with me about me.

In the past ten years I have really seen more people come to accept depression. I think people are starting to understand it better. And more people than probably should be are being medicated for it. But I have seen the same people who can be accepting of depression still can't show the same level of acceptance for bipolar disorder.

For many years, I resisted medicine. I went to therapy for a long time trying to control it. I finally got to a point where I had to accept I needed medicine. And now I've been medicated for 16 years and I have to say, I would never, ever choose to go without medicine again.

At first, I was embarrassed. I felt very much like I had a broken brain and that I should feel ashamed. Now I know that I wouldn't be the person I am if I didn't have this illness. There are blessings in it. I have a great deal of compassion that I don't think 20 years ago I had. I have gained a great deal of personal strength. I can be intensely creative. I am capable of thinking about and handling 500 different things at once.

And you know what? My DH is a wonderful guy. But he has the most calm, steady personality. I experience every emotion like 10x more intensely than he does. And you know when I'm down, it sucks. But when I am up, I feel joy and excitement and humor to the point where I often have happy tears. I can laugh until I wet my pants! And you know what? He doesn't have that.

I always think about what Hobbes said in Leviathan. You have to know pain to know pleasure. Every bit of my pain is matched by my level of pleasure.

Depression is deeply personal and unless you've been there it's hard for some people to understand. My experience w/certain people is that if an illness makes them uncomfortable then they just put their foot in their mouth, trying to escape the moment. You soon learn who you can go to for support and who to put on ignore and avoid. Learning to manage and work through depression takes great therapy and often meds. It's not something that you just overcome. Talk to people who support you and find ways to avoid the ones who do not. When things get bad you really find out who your friends are.

My mother said to me "What do you have to be depressed about?" Nothing. Nothing at all. I want to die and there is nothing wrong. Mental illness didn't exist. (3 or 4 hospitalizations-some shorter some month-long ones and yet not credible as an illness).

When snapping out of it becomes effective treatment for depression I will so be in line for it. Hell I will push people out of the way to get this new effective treatment. Until then I won't hold my breath. I'll save you a place in line, though.

Oh honey! Absolutely. At first it hurt to hear those things. Now, I don’t discuss it or bother talking about it with them directly. Sometimes I feel frustrated that the people I think should understand don’t and it is exasperating.

But all that doesn’t mean I try to hide it or pretend I am ok. I don’t hide my thyroid issues, why would I hide my depression issues is what My thinking is.

Hugs and please go easy on yourself.

I do not have depression, but my mother does and my dad is a "snap out of it" kind of person. My heart aches for my mom.

I have an invisible chronic illness (RA) and am told similar things by people who do not have an understanding of RA.

I am sorry this has happened to you.

I've said it before, but I'll say it again anyway - I really, truly admire how much of your struggle with bi-polar that you share here. It's very helpful to help me understand it. Thank you.

yes, but I also think that it can be what is interpreted, instead of what is actually said.

for many of us, there are mental hygiene things that we simply must do to help with depression, so not doing those things (example, taking meds, exercise, etc)can lead to people around us wanting us to snap out of it by doing those activities/things that are proven to provide relief.

hopefully that makes sense