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Post by katlaw on Jan 19, 2018 4:56:21 GMT
If they were near Graceland, it is really easy to drive into Mississippi before you realize it. I'm from the area and have ended up in the wrong state accidentally several times. This story is insane though. I don't know the area but that makes way more sense that he was not where he thought he was. I wonder if she is a Jane Doe, alive in a hospital somewhere unable to give them her name. If her husband was supposed to follow to the hospital, is confused about where this happened and he had her purse with ID so they don't have her info she could be still alive. Or they have her ID but don't realize she is missing to her family. In my mind if the EMS crew thought she was viable and rushed her to a hospital she is being cared for. She could be in intensive care and they are focused on her. And they may be thinking this poor lady has no family so that explains why no one is there. If she was deceased the EMS crew would not have taken her to a morgue without some documentation. So even if she was in the wrong state someone would have contacted police in her area and asked them to notify family. Poor old man. My mom gets very upset when she knows she cannot remember something important. He is probably pretty upset over this.
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
Jul 7, 2014 19:36:30 GMT
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Post by zella on Jan 19, 2018 8:04:27 GMT
This stinks to high heaven! I don't believe any of this. I don't believe the husband's story. Obviously. I really hope the Ohio police aren't as dumb as they sound, i.e. believing this guy's tale. And I don't believe her family "doesn't suspect foul play." Really? The vast majority of 70 year olds still have their marbles. In order to have dementia bad enough for this story to be true, there is no way that man could have driven from their home in Ohio to Memphis and back. No way. I just checked: that is 719 miles, a trip that would take at least 10 hours and 58 minutes in current traffic with no stops. Yeah. Right. That is a good chunk of time for the missus to die if, say, he dumped her somewhere. Please. You have to be a complete fool to buy this BS. People with dementia do do things like this. The ability to get themselves home is pretty remarkable even though they will not have any memory of what they did or where they went when out. Sadly, I suspect she did die and he doesn't really remember what happened so is conflating a reality with a memory or even a story he read/movie he saw. Hopefully the police will be able to retrace his steps. We only know about my mom going to the airport and buying a ticket to a city 1500 miles away to visit my sister because the ticketing agent felt something was off in the transaction. It could have been a disaster as my sister no longer lived in the destination city. At the time of the event, she lived a mile from my parents. The agent told a supervisor after my mom canceled the ticket and left the airport. They contacted the home number she had used and it was the first my dad knew she wasn't home. We still don't know how she made it home from the airport as security cameras show her walking away. That's an awfully weird thing that your mom did. But in general people with dementia do get lost very easily. It would be different if he had driven that route many, many times, but I doubt that was the case since they supposedly went on a vacation trip. Not impossible, but highly unlikely.
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Post by bc2ca on Jan 19, 2018 17:20:05 GMT
People with dementia do do things like this. The ability to get themselves home is pretty remarkable even though they will not have any memory of what they did or where they went when out. Sadly, I suspect she did die and he doesn't really remember what happened so is conflating a reality with a memory or even a story he read/movie he saw. Hopefully the police will be able to retrace his steps. We only know about my mom going to the airport and buying a ticket to a city 1500 miles away to visit my sister because the ticketing agent felt something was off in the transaction. It could have been a disaster as my sister no longer lived in the destination city. At the time of the event, she lived a mile from my parents. The agent told a supervisor after my mom canceled the ticket and left the airport. They contacted the home number she had used and it was the first my dad knew she wasn't home. We still don't know how she made it home from the airport as security cameras show her walking away. That's an awfully weird thing that your mom did. But in general people with dementia do get lost very easily. It would be different if he had driven that route many, many times, but I doubt that was the case since they supposedly went on a vacation trip. Not impossible, but highly unlikely. The thing with dementia is it is NOT a weird thing my mom did. Not at all. It is a common thing. We only know about it because of a ticket agent that felt something was wrong. When mom canceled the ticket, she asked about hotels in the area so the agent was initially concerned my mom was struggling with leaving an abusive situation. The police were called along with my dad & sister. The airport was phenomenal and allowed my sister to view all the security tapes and they saw my mom marching down the road a mile from the terminal. Our biggest worry during the event was my mom heading to the ferry terminal and getting off the island. The police weren't searching for her, but did issue a bulletin across multiple agencies and had a car outside my parents' house. At 6 pm my mom walked up the street, heading home for dinner. Extremely irritated at being questioned about being at the airport and how she got there and how she got home. She will tell you she was out shopping. Many dementia patients are walkers. They are drivers until their licenses get pulled and then they start walking. Mom's license was pulled after my sis reported her to the DMV. Mom drove off (by herself) to get her doctor (who thought she was fine) to sign off of her medical certification to keep her license. The doctor's office phoned the house an hour later to ask if she was coming in for the appointment. Dad was in deep denial and ok with the situation because she always came back home. This was the episode that finally got her doctor to screen for dementia and give my sister POA for health decisions. Honestly, my mom walked for years, always coming home at meal times. The second she was alone, she'd head out the door. It was when the nighttime adventures started that dad accepted we were either looking at full-time home care or a care facility. When we hear about a dementia patient missing, that person has been walking and finding their way home for years. It isn't the first time they get out that they go missing. Half the patients in mom's care facility are walking the halls looking for a way out (including my mom) and I doubt any would get back on their own if they did get out.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jan 19, 2018 17:43:45 GMT
Half the patients in mom's care facility are walking the halls looking for a way out (including my mom) and I doubt any would get back on their own if they did get out. my boyfriend used to work in the senior care industry; the company he worked for makes personal safety systems for continuing care communities... that fact is why it's so important that memory care wings / floors / wards have the electronic mag locks on the doors and extra security to keep track of patients like this. Even with all those things in place, sometimes they do still manage to get out.
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Post by bc2ca on Jan 19, 2018 18:12:35 GMT
Half the patients in mom's care facility are walking the halls looking for a way out (including my mom) and I doubt any would get back on their own if they did get out. my boyfriend used to work in the senior care industry; the company he worked for makes personal safety systems for continuing care communities... that fact is why it's so important that memory care wings / floors / wards have the electronic mag locks on the doors and extra security to keep track of patients like this. Even with all those things in place, sometimes they do still manage to get out. I know the biggest problem with mom's facility has been a visitor letting a resident out because some do present well and will put on coats & hats, looking like they are visiting someone themselves. I'm only there a few times a year and last week was the first time staff wouldn't give me the code to get out, one of them came down the hall and opened the door. In addition to the high tech security, we get a kick out of some of the low tech features. The elevator call buttons are covered with plexiglass that have small pinholes drilled in them. You have to poke a thin rod through the hole to press the button and it is seriously beyond the cognitive ability of the dementia patients.
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Post by Really Red on Jan 20, 2018 3:11:59 GMT
That's an awfully weird thing that your mom did. But in general people with dementia do get lost very easily. It would be different if he had driven that route many, many times, but I doubt that was the case since they supposedly went on a vacation trip. Not impossible, but highly unlikely. The thing with dementia is it is NOT a weird thing my mom did. Not at all. It is a common thing. We only know about it because of a ticket agent that felt something was wrong. When mom canceled the ticket, she asked about hotels in the area so the agent was initially concerned my mom was struggling with leaving an abusive situation. The police were called along with my dad & sister. The airport was phenomenal and allowed my sister to view all the security tapes and they saw my mom marching down the road a mile from the terminal. Our biggest worry during the event was my mom heading to the ferry terminal and getting off the island. The police weren't searching for her, but did issue a bulletin across multiple agencies and had a car outside my parents' house. At 6 pm my mom walked up the street, heading home for dinner. Extremely irritated at being questioned about being at the airport and how she got there and how she got home. She will tell you she was out shopping. Many dementia patients are walkers. They are drivers until their licenses get pulled and then they start walking. Mom's license was pulled after my sis reported her to the DMV. Mom drove off (by herself) to get her doctor (who thought she was fine) to sign off of her medical certification to keep her license. The doctor's office phoned the house an hour later to ask if she was coming in for the appointment. Dad was in deep denial and ok with the situation because she always came back home. This was the episode that finally got her doctor to screen for dementia and give my sister POA for health decisions. Honestly, my mom walked for years, always coming home at meal times. The second she was alone, she'd head out the door. It was when the nighttime adventures started that dad accepted we were either looking at full-time home care or a care facility. When we hear about a dementia patient missing, that person has been walking and finding their way home for years. It isn't the first time they get out that they go missing. Half the patients in mom's care facility are walking the halls looking for a way out (including my mom) and I doubt any would get back on their own if they did get out. This is off topic, bc2ca but have you read "The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry" by Rachel Joyce? If not, I highly recommend. It is an engaging and interesting book. I don't want to give anything away, but I thought it was fascinating.
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Post by dewryce on Jan 20, 2018 3:18:14 GMT
I thought they said that he didn't have dementia?
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Post by bc2ca on Jan 20, 2018 3:44:14 GMT
I thought they said that he didn't have dementia? Everything about this statement from the original article screams dementia to me: "I can tell you I interviewed him at length and he seems to be a very sincere individual," the chief said. "He showed a lot of signs of being truthful, but there may have been some issues where forgetfulness was relevant," Dordea added.Dementia often isn't diagnosed until something happens where a person can't give a reasonable account of what happened. Well before my mom was diagnosed, we had a long list on incidents of my mom's "forgetfulness" including the morning she confessed to me that she didn't know where she hooked up with the guy in the bathroom, but hoped he would be leaving soon. The guy was dad, who was adamant mom just got a little forgetful at the end of the day. My sisters and I were a little shocked and sort of impressed with her use of "hooked up".
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Post by bc2ca on Jan 20, 2018 3:48:47 GMT
The thing with dementia is it is NOT a weird thing my mom did. Not at all. It is a common thing. We only know about it because of a ticket agent that felt something was wrong. When mom canceled the ticket, she asked about hotels in the area so the agent was initially concerned my mom was struggling with leaving an abusive situation. The police were called along with my dad & sister. The airport was phenomenal and allowed my sister to view all the security tapes and they saw my mom marching down the road a mile from the terminal. Our biggest worry during the event was my mom heading to the ferry terminal and getting off the island. The police weren't searching for her, but did issue a bulletin across multiple agencies and had a car outside my parents' house. At 6 pm my mom walked up the street, heading home for dinner. Extremely irritated at being questioned about being at the airport and how she got there and how she got home. She will tell you she was out shopping. Many dementia patients are walkers. They are drivers until their licenses get pulled and then they start walking. Mom's license was pulled after my sis reported her to the DMV. Mom drove off (by herself) to get her doctor (who thought she was fine) to sign off of her medical certification to keep her license. The doctor's office phoned the house an hour later to ask if she was coming in for the appointment. Dad was in deep denial and ok with the situation because she always came back home. This was the episode that finally got her doctor to screen for dementia and give my sister POA for health decisions. Honestly, my mom walked for years, always coming home at meal times. The second she was alone, she'd head out the door. It was when the nighttime adventures started that dad accepted we were either looking at full-time home care or a care facility. When we hear about a dementia patient missing, that person has been walking and finding their way home for years. It isn't the first time they get out that they go missing. Half the patients in mom's care facility are walking the halls looking for a way out (including my mom) and I doubt any would get back on their own if they did get out. This is off topic, bc2ca but have you read "The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry" by Rachel Joyce? If not, I highly recommend. It is an engaging and interesting book. I don't want to give anything away, but I thought it was fascinating. Yes, I have read Harold Fry! Loved it.
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melissa
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,912
Jun 25, 2014 20:45:00 GMT
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Post by melissa on Jan 20, 2018 5:09:15 GMT
My FIL drove to the very end of the Florida Keys. If there had been more road to drive on, he would have kept going. He drove for over 4 hours after going to a neighborhood store to pick up cigarettes. Was picked up many hours later by the police. If he had not headed south, he would have likely driven even further away. It's not unusual at all. My MIL had a hard time curtailing his activities- didn't want to take away his keys, left him home alone during the day when she went to work her part-time job in the morning because "he was sleeping most of that time anyway." It was very difficult until he had surgery and she had trouble caring for him post-op.
On a bittersweet note, my MIL finally married my FIL (not dh's father) after decades together because he asked her to marry him while he still can remember. He had asked her many times over the years, but when he said that, she finally caved.
Reading this sounds just like something that could have happened to him.
Just odd that she has not been found somewhere yet, not even as a Jane Doe.
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
Jul 7, 2014 19:36:30 GMT
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Post by zella on Jan 20, 2018 7:33:51 GMT
I still think the story is unbelievable. I do hope we find out what happened. Well, mostly I hope the family gets closure.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,394
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Jan 20, 2018 9:41:48 GMT
Has she done a runner, in the knowledge that he is a bit dotty and might be blamed?
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Post by hosschick on Jan 21, 2018 19:13:00 GMT
The husband is now saying that he dumped his wife's body in the Tennessee River on his way home. Authorities are searching but have yet to locate her body. linkExcerpt: Christopher says Roberta Snider, 70, and her husband, Philip, 72, left their Ohio home for Graceland earlier this month, but Roberta never made it back. “He says he put her body in plastic and disposed of her body over this bridge,” Christopher said. Sheriff Christopher said Snider told authorities Roberta was sick with cancer and died from her illness on the way to Memphis. “What he’s telling authorities is she passed away somewhere in Kentucky on the way to Graceland, and he continued on with their journey,” Christopher said. Christopher said Snider told police on his way home to Ohio a day later, he dumped his wife’s body off of Interstate 40 in the Tennessee River. “We flew up and down the river channel for about eight miles north of here where the rivers flowing, and we found nothing,” Christopher said. Hartsville, Ohio police said they believe Snider’s statements are true.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jan 21, 2018 19:14:52 GMT
wow!! huge change from the scenarios we were imagining here...
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Post by Just Beth on Jan 21, 2018 19:16:31 GMT
Holy crap! I was not expecting that.
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Jan 21, 2018 19:17:44 GMT
Oh my! I guess that answers the lack of EMS report question.
This poor family!!!!!!
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Post by jenjie on Jan 21, 2018 19:27:39 GMT
Ahhhh no. 😢
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rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,658
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
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Post by rodeomom on Jan 21, 2018 20:08:50 GMT
The husband is now saying that he dumped his wife's body in the Tennessee River on his way home. Authorities are searching but have yet to locate her body. linkExcerpt: Christopher says Roberta Snider, 70, and her husband, Philip, 72, left their Ohio home for Graceland earlier this month, but Roberta never made it back. “He says he put her body in plastic and disposed of her body over this bridge,” Christopher said. Sheriff Christopher said Snider told authorities Roberta was sick with cancer and died from her illness on the way to Memphis. “What he’s telling authorities is she passed away somewhere in Kentucky on the way to Graceland, and he continued on with their journey,” Christopher said. Christopher said Snider told police on his way home to Ohio a day later, he dumped his wife’s body off of Interstate 40 in the Tennessee River. “We flew up and down the river channel for about eight miles north of here where the rivers flowing, and we found nothing,” Christopher said. Hartsville, Ohio police said they believe Snider’s statements are true. Why? Why are they still believing what he is saying?
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Jan 21, 2018 22:25:45 GMT
The husband is now saying that he dumped his wife's body in the Tennessee River on his way home. Authorities are searching but have yet to locate her body. linkExcerpt: Christopher says Roberta Snider, 70, and her husband, Philip, 72, left their Ohio home for Graceland earlier this month, but Roberta never made it back. “He says he put her body in plastic and disposed of her body over this bridge,” Christopher said. Sheriff Christopher said Snider told authorities Roberta was sick with cancer and died from her illness on the way to Memphis. “What he’s telling authorities is she passed away somewhere in Kentucky on the way to Graceland, and he continued on with their journey,” Christopher said. Christopher said Snider told police on his way home to Ohio a day later, he dumped his wife’s body off of Interstate 40 in the Tennessee River. “We flew up and down the river channel for about eight miles north of here where the rivers flowing, and we found nothing,” Christopher said. Hartsville, Ohio police said they believe Snider’s statements are true. Why? Why are they still believing what he is saying? I wonder that too. As well as, where did he get the plastic? He could possibly be making up stories to cover his memory loss.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Jan 21, 2018 22:52:11 GMT
I wonder that too. As well as, where did he get the plastic? He could possibly be making up stories to cover his memory loss. Who knows............!! I sure hope the family has taken his car keys away before he road trips and loses someone else! I wouldn't get in a car with him.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Jan 21, 2018 23:06:12 GMT
I'm curious how much news coverage this is getting on a regional level. You'd think they would be plastering the news in those surrounding states, asking for leads. Someone, somewhere had to have seen them. There must be security footage of either of them along the route they took. As far as I can tell, there has been no national coverage, at least not in the area that I am in.
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Post by Tamhugh on Jan 21, 2018 23:30:44 GMT
When I first read the story, I wondered if it was a terminal illness situation with a murder/suicide pact and he chickened out. We had friends years ago whose parents did this and it was so heartbreaking.
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Post by dewryce on Jan 22, 2018 4:39:45 GMT
When I first read the story, I wondered if it was a terminal illness situation with a murder/suicide pact and he chickened out. We had friends years ago whose parents did this and it was so heartbreaking. After reading the update I was thinking assisted suicide.
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Jan 22, 2018 14:32:08 GMT
Hartsville, Ohio police said they believe Snider’s statements are true. They said that about his first story about the EMS! Geez!
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Post by disneypal on Jan 22, 2018 15:39:33 GMT
Oh my goodness on the update!!
I thought in the beginning that it was so odd that after his wife died, he just spent the night at the hotel (which was confirmed he was there) but he never called his kids and said “Mom died” or tell them what happened
Perhaps she was suffering and he wanted her to be out of pain. Why would the authorities believe that if someone died naturally, their loved one would just roll them up in plastic and throw them in the river?
I feel so bad for her family-I can only imagine the hell they are going through
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Post by verdepea on Jan 22, 2018 16:33:42 GMT
my boyfriend used to work in the senior care industry; the company he worked for makes personal safety systems for continuing care communities... that fact is why it's so important that memory care wings / floors / wards have the electronic mag locks on the doors and extra security to keep track of patients like this. Even with all those things in place, sometimes they do still manage to get out. I know the biggest problem with mom's facility has been a visitor letting a resident out because some do present well and will put on coats & hats, looking like they are visiting someone themselves. I'm only there a few times a year and last week was the first time staff wouldn't give me the code to get out, one of them came down the hall and opened the door. In addition to the high tech security, we get a kick out of some of the low tech features. The elevator call buttons are covered with plexiglass that have small pinholes drilled in them. You have to poke a thin rod through the hole to press the button and it is seriously beyond the cognitive ability of the dementia patients.Wait? What? Elevator Call buttons covered with plexi-glass? This is a HUGE Safety, Elevator Code and ADA violation. The elevators should have a card reader on each floor (or inside the cars) and authorized users have access badges. I can't tell if was at the place your BF used to work at or if it is at your Mom's current facility. If this is a current issue, I would implore you to take time today to speak and write to management about the code violation and if not corrected they should be reported to the state agency over the facility.
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Post by bc2ca on Jan 22, 2018 17:19:29 GMT
I know the biggest problem with mom's facility has been a visitor letting a resident out because some do present well and will put on coats & hats, looking like they are visiting someone themselves. I'm only there a few times a year and last week was the first time staff wouldn't give me the code to get out, one of them came down the hall and opened the door. In addition to the high tech security, we get a kick out of some of the low tech features. The elevator call buttons are covered with plexiglass that have small pinholes drilled in them. You have to poke a thin rod through the hole to press the button and it is seriously beyond the cognitive ability of the dementia patients.Wait? What? Elevator Call buttons covered with plexi-glass? This is a HUGE Safety, Elevator Code and ADA violation. The elevators should have a card reader on each floor (or inside the cars) and authorized users have access badges. I can't tell if was at the place your BF used to work at or if it is at your Mom's current facility. If this is a current issue, I would implore you to take time today to speak and write to management about the code violation and if not corrected they should be reported to the state agency over the facility. I do appreciate what you are saying, verdepea, and wish I had a photo to share because I don't think I've described it very well. The facility is in Canada. I'm not sure how it would violate ADA requirements because only those with cognitive issues are stymied by how to call the elevator. It is designed to slow them down. DH, who works in the construction industry and designs, installs and retrofits security and fire systems for all sorts of buildings, including hospitals, thought it was a genius little add on. The bigger safety issue is a memory care patient being able to leave the floor easily if they are able to get out the locked doors. This elevator is outside of the memory care wing and used by anyone coming into the facility so access badges are not needed. Within the memory care area, all doors locked and need either a code or access pass to use.
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Post by jenjie on Jan 22, 2018 17:28:13 GMT
Wait? What? Elevator Call buttons covered with plexi-glass? This is a HUGE Safety, Elevator Code and ADA violation. The elevators should have a card reader on each floor (or inside the cars) and authorized users have access badges. I can't tell if was at the place your BF used to work at or if it is at your Mom's current facility. If this is a current issue, I would implore you to take time today to speak and write to management about the code violation and if not corrected they should be reported to the state agency over the facility. I do appreciate what you are saying, verdepea, and wish I had a photo to share because I don't think I've described it very well. The facility is in Canada. I'm not sure how it would violate ADA requirements because only those with cognitive issues are stymied by how to call the elevator. It is designed to slow them down. DH, who works in the construction industry and designs, installs and retrofits security and fire systems for all sorts of buildings, including hospitals, thought it was a genius little add on. The bigger safety issue is a memory care patient being able to leave the floor easily if they are able to get out the locked doors. This elevator is outside of the memory care wing and used by anyone coming into the facility so access badges are not needed. Within the memory care area, all doors locked and need either a code or access pass to use. I wonder if verdepea is picturing the call button being inside the elevator, to call out if you got trapped or had some other trouble. That’s what I was thinking at first. But it sounds like you’re talking about the button that brings the elevator? I don’t understand how that would be a safety violation, considering in case of fire, earthquake, etc. they say not to use the elevator.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Jan 22, 2018 19:47:18 GMT
I wonder if verdepea is picturing the call button being inside the elevator, to call out if you got trapped or had some other trouble. That’s what I was thinking at first. But it sounds like you’re talking about the button that brings the elevator? I don’t understand how that would be a safety violation, considering in case of fire, earthquake, etc. they say not to use the elevator. yup
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Post by verdepea on Jan 22, 2018 23:39:36 GMT
I do appreciate what you are saying, verdepea, and wish I had a photo to share because I don't think I've described it very well. The facility is in Canada. I'm not sure how it would violate ADA requirements because only those with cognitive issues are stymied by how to call the elevator. It is designed to slow them down. DH, who works in the construction industry and designs, installs and retrofits security and fire systems for all sorts of buildings, including hospitals, thought it was a genius little add on. The bigger safety issue is a memory care patient being able to leave the floor easily if they are able to get out the locked doors. This elevator is outside of the memory care wing and used by anyone coming into the facility so access badges are not needed. Within the memory care area, all doors locked and need either a code or access pass to use. I wonder if verdepea is picturing the call button being inside the elevator, to call out if you got trapped or had some other trouble. That’s what I was thinking at first. But it sounds like you’re talking about the button that brings the elevator? I don’t understand how that would be a safety violation, considering in case of fire, earthquake, etc. they say not to use the elevator. The hall call button is located in the Hallway and may be shared by more than one elevator. The car operating panel is inside the elevator and house all the interior buttons. Any on those buttons should be ADA compliant, they should NOT be flush with the panel. A person with dexterity issue, should be able to push any of those buttons without the use of their fingers. (i.e. the back of your hand). An applied plexi glass that you must stick your finger in to access the button is a violation of the elevator code. I can appreciate keeping the patients safe, there are things that can and cannot be done. Maybe I am misunderstanding. Honestly, I hope I am.
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