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Post by flanz on Oct 18, 2018 1:26:57 GMT
I'm very sorry for your loss. Your mom knew you loved her, and as others have said, you chose not to call her last night as a loving act. Please don't beat yourself up about that. I'm sorry your sibs are being horrible. Much love to you.
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Post by stumpedagainof3 on Oct 18, 2018 1:33:46 GMT
I'm sorry for your loss.
Hugs to you!
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Post by lucyg on Oct 18, 2018 1:36:33 GMT
I am really sorry for your loss, and that your siblings are so emotionally distant. Sending hugs from a non-sibling.
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Post by librarylady on Oct 18, 2018 2:09:17 GMT
My condolences to you and all who loved her.
Since she wanted no service could you: 1. Gather with your siblings and share stories. Since the siblings are shutting you out, that may not happen. 2. Do you have some close friends who would sit with you and share some stories or perhaps have some readings from your faith that give comfort? We did that with a friend whose parent was not having a service.
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Post by brina on Oct 18, 2018 2:14:03 GMT
I am so sorry
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Post by 950nancy on Oct 18, 2018 2:20:31 GMT
I think if you are close with your mom, the grief never goes away. Mine has been gone over 29 years and hearing stories like yours still makes me cry. Hugs.
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Post by lesserknownpea on Oct 18, 2018 2:29:01 GMT
My mother died of pancreatic cancer when I was 35. She was only 53. I can empathize with your whole post. I’m sorry. It’s hard.
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Post by leslie132 on Oct 18, 2018 2:31:19 GMT
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I know nothing will bring much comfort right now, but take time for yourself and your family. You need that. Your mom would want that!!!
Hugs!
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Post by quinlove on Oct 18, 2018 2:37:58 GMT
My heart breaks for you. Sending much love.
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Post by Dixie Lou on Oct 18, 2018 2:39:26 GMT
My mom too passed away from lung cancer. I understand how you feel about it being expected but not yet.
I am so sorry.
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Post by glory77 on Oct 18, 2018 2:39:49 GMT
I’m so very sorry. I lost my mom a few years ago so I know how much it hurts. Hugs!
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Post by Lexica on Oct 18, 2018 2:43:47 GMT
I’m so sorry for your loss. I don’t have a relationship with my siblings either. Overall, I think it made it easier on me.
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IAmUnoriginal
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,894
Jun 25, 2014 23:27:45 GMT
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Post by IAmUnoriginal on Oct 18, 2018 2:50:07 GMT
I am so sorry. If it would bring you comfort, memorialize your mom here with the Peas. Tell us some of your favorite things and stories. We will celebrate her with you.
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Post by scrapmaven on Oct 18, 2018 2:52:23 GMT
I'm so very sorry for your loss. May your mother's memory be for a blessing.
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Post by Skellinton on Oct 18, 2018 3:01:26 GMT
I am very sorry.
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Post by prapea on Oct 18, 2018 3:06:57 GMT
I am so sorry. I didn’t read other replies and I apologize if someone already suggested this. Do something in her memory with your DH and your kids. You are not alone. You have your family. You have us peas . May be plant a tree or a flower bud or somet.
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Post by MichyM on Oct 18, 2018 3:14:05 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. HUGS.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Oct 18, 2018 3:14:39 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. And I'm even sadder there will be no memorial or funeral. I think that is such a way we get some closure. Try to do something that will honor you mom and allow you to grieve. Maybe spend some time searching for the perfect tree or shrub that you can plant in your yard in memory of her. Hugs.
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chendra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,860
Location: The 33rd State
Jun 27, 2014 16:58:50 GMT
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Post by chendra on Oct 18, 2018 3:17:36 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
My mother also didn't want any kind of service and I well remember the feeling of needing to "do something", especially as I was far away in another state when I received the news. I ended up looking at photo albums all night long.
Hugs to you.
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Post by gritzi on Oct 18, 2018 3:27:18 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss! My mother was recently diagnosed with Stage 4, and her diagnosis was grim. I don't live nearby, but am traveling as often as possible.
What did your mother like to do? Perhaps think of an activity that made her happy, and plan a day with your husband and children to celebrate your mom/her life. Dine at a favorite restaurant, enjoy her favorite activity, share fond memories of her.
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,363
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Oct 18, 2018 3:29:53 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss.
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Post by tara on Oct 18, 2018 3:33:21 GMT
I’m so sorry.
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Post by berty on Oct 18, 2018 3:33:30 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss, and I'm sorry that the family dynamics aren't making things any easier. Maybe you and your immediate family could have a little remembrance ceremony of your own. It doesn't have to be a big thing, but it might help a bit.
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Post by cawoman on Oct 18, 2018 3:41:25 GMT
I’m really sad for you. My family tends not to have services either. Hugs to you!
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Mary Kay Lady
Pearl Clutcher
PeaNut 367,913 Refupea number 1,638
Posts: 3,073
Jun 27, 2014 4:11:36 GMT
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Oct 18, 2018 3:42:13 GMT
I am so very sorry for your loss.
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Post by freecharlie on Oct 18, 2018 3:57:58 GMT
I am sorry for your loss
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Post by Tammiem2pnc1 on Oct 18, 2018 19:23:47 GMT
Pm me if you want to call me. I will be your sister for the day. You made my night with this!! Thank you so much for the offer!! I was so overwhelmed last night after reading these comments I honestly couldn't reply. You guys are so amazing. I'm still rather upset, but my composure is much better today! Some of you asked what my mom was like, so I will tell you some, not all great, but it's who she was and what made me, well, me. Life with her wasn't always easy, she was undiagnosed bipolar for most of my life and probably most of her life and her mood swings could be hard to deal with at times. But she was always there for us, always. She worked 3rd shift at a nursing home most of my childhood, so she could sleep while we were at school and be there for us when we got home. Everyone in the neighborhood would come hang out at our house and mom always there with ice tea or kool-aid. My friends always called her "mom". I still make ice tea like she did. She and I were extremely close and we did everything together. When I was a young adult and still living at home, she and I would go to the beach every year for a week, just the 2 of us. My siblings were long gone with families of their own and my dad hated the beach...so it was us. I will always cherish those memories and really wish I had more pictures of those trips. My moms sense of humor and sarcasm was unmatched by most. She was was witty and her comebacks were amazing. Everyone loved her and her laugh was infectious. In 1998 my mom was diagnosed with 3 brain aneurysms, one was leaking and it caused a series of strokes. She had surgery to repair them and had another big stroke in recovery. She was never quite the same after that, but her sense of humor remained. It's one of the things I loved most about her. She knew how to make people laugh, she could have been a comedian. She was creative and could draw, sew and create just about anything. I got some of my creativity from her, though I will never be as good as she was at some things. I can't sew and I certainly don't have her green thumb when it comes to plants and gardening. There is a big hole in my heart and I feel so empty right now. There will never be another her!! This picture was taken over the summer. Her hair was just starting to grow back after chemo treatments. She had her fuzzy hair, but I thought she looked so cute!! The other picture is of her as a school girl. Not sure how old she was here, maybe 11 or 12, but she was so pretty. 36430336_10213527320992186_129262916288380928_n
44252443_10217491611672886_3745177848223105024_o
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Post by gailoh on Oct 18, 2018 19:54:26 GMT
So sorry for your loss...hugs
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Post by craftedbys on Oct 18, 2018 20:09:07 GMT
So sorry for your loss. Expected or not, the passing of a parent is never easy.
Not being close to siblings is so difficult. I learned to just lean on my DH and children and the family I chose for myself.
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,746
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Oct 18, 2018 20:12:01 GMT
Sorry for your loss. I hope you can find comfort in knowing she is no longer struggling and free of pain.
Hugs to you and your family.
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