lurkyloo
Full Member
Posts: 284
Dec 5, 2018 6:53:08 GMT
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Post by lurkyloo on Mar 9, 2019 21:21:07 GMT
What you wear has nothing to do with them. Actually, it does. The MOG is not supposed to overdress compared to the MOB. Is this a reasonable rule? What should I do when my gay son gets married? The idea that the girls and their families own more emotional real estate in weddings is probably something we as a forward-thinking society could start ignoring. Nobody is really showing off their sale of a prized virgin from the richest family anymore; we moms of boys could probably stop dressing as though we are grateful to be receiving the very best in heir-producing stock and just wear what the fuck we want. Go get yourself a nice dress you feel proud in.
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Post by Bobomommy on Mar 9, 2019 21:22:11 GMT
My daughter was planning an October wedding. Her fiancé had back surgery scheduled for February 5th and had an abnormal EKG at his pre-op appointment. He knew it was nothing serious, but started thinking “what if” something went wrong during surgery. He wanted to be sure my daughter would receive his railroad retirement benefits, so they decided to move up the date. This decision was made on January 26th. We planned, shopped, and put together a lovely wedding in 8 days. They were married February 3rd.
She found a dress she loved, the church was available, we had Moe’s cater the dinner, a local florist did the flowers, and the photographer she had chosen for October was available! There were 45 people in attendance. Afterwards, she said if they had stuck with their original date there was NOTHING she would change.
I worried about overdressing even though I was the bride’s mother. His grandmother would be the only female on his side of the family in pictures. She’s in her 90’s and in a nursing home. We offered to buy her a dress, but she wanted no part of it. So I had no clue what she would wear. She brought a dress to the church and the best man helped her stand in front of her wheelchair. She had me put the dress on over the blouse and sweat pants she was wearing. After the dress was in place I offered to remove the pants. She said she would be too cold, and would just “tuck her legs back” for pictures. Of course, her legs still showed, but we were just glad she was able to be there! The pictures I’ll display will be of my family with DD and DSIL.
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Post by Basket1lady on Mar 9, 2019 21:45:10 GMT
I am sitting on the bench with you. Scoot over, ‘cause I need a spot as well. I’d repeatedly tell myself “it’s not my wedding, it’s not my wedding.” And I would mean it. But the lack of forethought and planning would make me nuts.
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Mar 9, 2019 22:06:08 GMT
Actually, it does. The MOG is not supposed to overdress compared to the MOB. Is this a reasonable rule? What should I do when my gay son gets married? The idea that the girls and their families own more emotional real estate in weddings is probably something we as a forward-thinking society could start ignoring. Nobody is really showing off their sale of a prized virgin from the richest family anymore; we moms of boys could probably stop dressing as though we are grateful to be receiving the very best in heir-producing stock and just wear what the fuck we want. Go get yourself a nice dress you feel proud in. I just love this reply! I know it's my personality, but I have a hard time thinking any of the issues are a big deal at all. I support your need to vent over them though, and I don't want to discount your feelings. I'm always fascinated by threads like this because I love reading the different ways people see things. I am not a fan of the "rules" of who gets to wear what, do what, say what - beyond what the bride and groom prefer. I would do my best to wear what the couple asked for, but with a laid back wedding and no input from them, I'd be wearing whatever the hell I wanted to wear. Your son doesn't seem to mind the new date and his sisters' previous commitment. Then they should get dressed for their evening wedding and wear the dresses they'll be wearing in that ceremony. Be guests at their brother's wedding as they were invited to do, stay as long as they can at the celebration afterward, then go have fun at the other wedding as well. With a limited invitation list, her father's (step or otherwise) conflicts with work (scheduled to work/limited vacation time) get consideration over your brother. I would not be bothered at all about not having information about their July celebration plans when asked. This one confuses me. Just tell whoever is asking that you don't know anything yet. Zero drama. Again, maybe I'm annoying laid back as well when it comes to stuff like this, but vent here and then have a great time just being there for your son as he marries a great girl. Stress sucks. Be happy!
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Mar 9, 2019 22:06:30 GMT
I wouldn't worry too much about the arrangement for the day that will all work out in the ends it usually does or the outfit but I can see where you're coming from. Every mum wants to look and feel and wear that special outfit whether she's the mother of the bride or the groom. I would be upset that she has moved the wedding date and virtually ignored the fact that your daughters can't be at their brother's wedding for the whole day. Who does that knowing that the other wedding is on that day before she moved her date? I think that is pretty selfish of her, does your son not mind? I agree with your second paragraph. It also sounds like it creates a hardship for the best man- all to be on grandpa’s birthday? I’m usually in the it’s “their day camp” but this is rude and not considerate to your son at all. And I’d be very disappointed that my son didn’t advocate to have his sisters and best friend be able to enjoy his wedding day fully.
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Mar 9, 2019 22:08:38 GMT
What a pain in the ass. Will you also attend the friend's daughter's wedding. I get picking dates that work, but I also don't think other people need to fall all over themselves to accommodate It’s going to be hard to attend the other wedding, because I will have family staying at my home. This other girl has been like another daughter to us, and calls us her other parents. My goal is to be at the wedding ceremony, but doubt I can be at the reception. Is your daughter in law possibly jealous of having to share the wedding planning glory? She sounds like she is trying to sabotage this other girl’s wedding.
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tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
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Post by tduby1 on Mar 9, 2019 22:12:06 GMT
I'm sure my MIL felt the way you do when we planned out very small wedding with a large picnic style reception a month later a few decades ago. Your son and his fiance are having the wedding they want to have. They picked a church that will only hold 50 because they want a small, intimate wedding. They are happy with a morning service followed by a brunch. Your DDs are really the only ones impacted because I'm sure they planned to spend the whole day getting ready for the other wedding. Buy and wear the dress you want to wear. The photos that you want to display are going to be of your family with the bride & groom and or just the bride & groom. The best man is impacted as well. His sister is the other young lady getting married and when he agreed to be their best man, it wasn’t on a date that robbed him of fully enjoying his sisters wedding, if he even gets to go at all.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Mar 9, 2019 22:16:07 GMT
Actually, it does. The MOG is not supposed to overdress compared to the MOB. Is this a reasonable rule? What should I do when my gay son gets married? The idea that the girls and their families own more emotional real estate in weddings is probably something we as a forward-thinking society could start ignoring. Nobody is really showing off their sale of a prized virgin from the richest family anymore; we moms of boys could probably stop dressing as though we are grateful to be receiving the very best in heir-producing stock and just wear what the fuck we want. Go get yourself a nice dress you feel proud in. Not the way i would have said it but I agree with the sentiment. My plan is to have as little involvement in the planning for my children's weddings. I will hand over some money and show up looking good. That's it. End of story. Boys. Girls. Doesn't matter.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 13, 2024 15:55:02 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2019 22:27:02 GMT
I am sitting on the bench with you. Scoot over, ‘cause I need a spot as well. I’d repeatedly tell myself “it’s not my wedding, it’s not my wedding.” And I would mean it. But the lack of forethought and planning would make me nuts. My daughter’s intended is from a huge Italian catholic family. Both grandmothers and a lot of their siblings are alive. I keep telling daughter, what the grandmothers want , grandmothers get. She keeps saying that they have 27 other grandchild to fuss over. I told her I was just going to sit in a corner.
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Post by Zee on Mar 9, 2019 22:34:17 GMT
You like her. Let her have her disorganized wedding. None of the rest really matters. If family is asking tell them you are not planning the wedding they'll have to ask your son any questions. While I understand it's not how you would do it, it's their wedding. Know this is a vent, but the disparaging of the dresses selected by the MOB and GMOB come across petty and mean spirited. What you wear has nothing to do with them. Actually, it does. The MOG is not supposed to overdress compared to the MOB. I wear dresses from JCPenney typically for church, but the casualness of their dresses is what stands out. The MOB’s dress is too casual for some offices. I was going to wear a sheath dress with matching coat, but it’s too dressy compared to the MOB dress. Because they are wearing busy patterns, I went with a solid because pictures will be difficult with the patterns. Says who, 1953? Wear what you like and don't worry about what others are wearing. This issue is completely petty and sounds rather snobbish with the comments about their casual style and busy patterns being difficult for pictures. Maybe your DIL and her family are laid back folks who plan on enjoying this day, even though it's more casual than you like. You say you just want them to have a nice wedding, but really you want them to have YOUR version of a nice wedding. Let it all go. If there is no reception, you can still attend the other wedding and reception, correct? I honestly don't get what you're upset about. It's not your wedding. Repeat as needed.
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smcast
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,314
Location: MN
Mar 18, 2016 14:06:38 GMT
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Post by smcast on Mar 9, 2019 22:39:39 GMT
Emily Gilmore, that's funny! It is hard to sit back. I get it. Hang in there.
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smcast
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,314
Location: MN
Mar 18, 2016 14:06:38 GMT
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Post by smcast on Mar 9, 2019 22:46:15 GMT
The only thing that I am going to comment on is your minor issue #1. I would absolutely wear something that I totally lived and felt elegant in to my sons wedding. I would not care at all if I clashed or matched her mother. This is one of the biggest days in your sons entire life! It’s a formal event! Buy the fancy dress in a fabulous color and cut if you feel beautiful in it! Don’t dress down just because his in laws are going to. Seriously, the only things my mother and mother in law were worried about were making sure that their dresses weren’t the same, and making sure they also weren’t in white. You will have like 1-2 photos where you and your sons mother in law will be in the same picture if that’s the concern. Don’t stress about this one. ITA with this. Everyone has their own style. I'd only worry about colors, in reference to the bridesmaid's dresses. Coordinate that to look nice for pictures. There is no way I'd dress down because the other mother is casual. I'd wear something appropriate for the venue and that suits my taste.
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The Great Carpezio
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Something profound goes here.
Posts: 2,926
Jun 25, 2014 21:50:33 GMT
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Mar 9, 2019 22:53:24 GMT
I am sitting on the bench with you. Scoot over, ‘cause I need a spot as well. I’d repeatedly tell myself “it’s not my wedding, it’s not my wedding.” And I would mean it. But the lack of forethought and planning would make me nuts. Yeah. I get it too. You know that this will all pass and you have to stay neutral as possible, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s hard to watch and ultimately participate in something cringey. Hi, my name is the Great Carpezio and I’m a flawed human who likes to make things I’m attached to in some way, nice and not awkward/messy.
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305
Aug 13, 2016 13:47:39 GMT
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Post by kibblesandbits on Mar 9, 2019 22:57:24 GMT
Everyone's all hung up on a silly dress, when the real issue is that most of the wedding party and the groom's parents are going to have to attend two different weddings on the same day. How inconvenient, and frankly, rude of the bride to chose a date that inconveniences so many people.
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The Great Carpezio
Pearl Clutcher
Something profound goes here.
Posts: 2,926
Jun 25, 2014 21:50:33 GMT
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Mar 9, 2019 23:11:39 GMT
Everyone's all hung up on a silly dress, when the real issue is that most of the wedding party and the groom's parents are going to have to attend two different weddings on the same day. How inconvenient, and frankly, rude of the bride to chose a date that inconveniences so many people. I agree. You do what you gotta do, but this choice is certainly a red flag about the personality and decision making of the couple in the future. Also, I don’t care if mog/mob is dressed nicer by a bit; I don’t think that matters much in 2019; however, as someone who has photographed about 25 weddings, I think at least a simple discussion about coordination: - leads to nicer photos
- Demonstrates basic respect for each other
- Makes things less awkward so one isn’t dressed in a complete different way. The dress should reflect the style and dress of the wedding.
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Post by pierkiss on Mar 10, 2019 0:01:29 GMT
Everyone's all hung up on a silly dress, when the real issue is that most of the wedding party and the groom's parents are going to have to attend two different weddings on the same day. How inconvenient, and frankly, rude of the bride to chose a date that inconveniences so many people. Oh I absolutely agree with this. But trying to move the wedding is going to open up a nasty can of worms. The bride and most definitely the groom should have taken their immediate families calendars into consideration when they picked their date. Assuming they care if their immediate families can attend.
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Post by mikklynn on Mar 10, 2019 0:16:27 GMT
If they want a small casual wedding, it’s not your place to say the church needs to be larger, and the MOB dress needs to be dressier. Go with the flow, it will all work out breathe in, breathe out So I bite my tongue, vented here, and picked a more casual dress. You are doing great! I would be annoyed by the date they picked, too. Hang in there.
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craftymom101
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,629
Jul 31, 2014 5:23:25 GMT
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Post by craftymom101 on Mar 10, 2019 0:41:08 GMT
While I would like to say "the dress doesn't matter!"... I think it does. It's considerate of the OP to want to coordinate with the MOB.
When I got married in 2004 I was really young and didn't navigate the whole wedding planning process as well as I should have. My mom, who has always been self-conscious, had a horrible time choosing a dress and my MIL wouldn't pick something until my mom had her dress. Finally, about 6 months before the wedding, my mom picked a dress and it was awful. My wedding colors were two shades of pink, black, and silver and her dress was a busy print of blue, green, and purple. The dress was going to clash with my flowers and the decor, and I told her that. She was so mad! But she did go shopping for a new dress. She found a lovely peach dress which she liked. Meanwhile my MIL was tired of waiting on my mom to pick a dress so she went to Nordstrom and bought a pretty black dress, which in approved of. With 6 weeks to go before the wedding, my mom changed her mind again, ditched the peach dress, and found a new black dress. I was so annoyed that I only saw it briefly but okay'd the dress.
The day of the wedding the photographer is getting ready to take family pictures and my mom changes into her dress. Five minutes later my MIL comes running out of the reception hall yelling "you're wearing my dress!!!". Yep, they bought the same dress. The exact same dress. Same color, same size, same brand. Of course both of them blame me for the mix up since I approved of both dresses. I'm no longer married but I still laugh at the dress mix-up. My mom and MIL did not find the situation funny at all and if asked are still mad about it.
My point is... I think it's important to at least acknowledge the other dress(es) and attempt to coordinate. I understand why you're stressed and I'll validate you!
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Deleted
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May 13, 2024 15:55:02 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2019 0:46:09 GMT
I need a place to vent. DS is engaged to a lovely girl but she’s making me crazy with her lack of planning. I really do like her, but she is so disorganized and flighty and knows nothing of planning an event. I have offered to help, but am only helping with what is asked so as not to take control. Damn, it’s hard! Their budget is small, and we are contributing some of the expenses like flowers and decorations. We’ll also likely pay for part of the brunch since our friend is doing the catering and I know their budget is tight. DH and I got married for $1500, including my dress, in 1993, so I appreciate a small budget. Big issue #1. Original wedding date was in July. Date then moved to May, on the same day my daughters are in their best friend’s wedding, and she’s also the best man’s sister. I had a fun phone call from my friend complaining that they were stealing her daughter’s wedding day. Don’t worry, I stood up for my kids, but Inside I was agreeing with some of her points. The date change was over her step dad not being able to get off work, but since the May date was scheduled since it’s bride’s college graduation day, they were already coming. I suggested the evening before? Noooooo, we have to get married on her grandpa’s birthday. Ok, but won’t you be stressed to have your wedding and college graduation on the same day? No, not going to walk at graduation. That went over poorly with her family. So, now my girls have their brother’s wedding in the morning, followed by a brunch, then leave for their friend’s wedding to get ready. Oh, and my girls are not involved in their brother’s wedding except as guests (and neither is FIL who is an ordained minister). Big issue #2. She picked a church that only holds 50 people. We can only have 25 people. I understand she doesn’t have many people to invite since all of her family lives four states away. But my brother can’t come then because his daughter graduates high school the following weekend and his vacation time is limited. We can’t invite any close friends that are like family to us because of limited space. I would have paid for our church that seats several hundred to allow for more guests. Minor issue #1. The MOB and grandma of Bride picked casual, busy print dresses. People just don’t know how to dress up for special occasions. So, I had to get a plain, solid church type dress so as not to clash and I still will look a little overdressed compared to them, even in my JCPenney purchase. Big Issue 3: they talked about a casual reception in July but have nothing planned. I have family and friends asking me when and where and cannot tell them anything. I am considering offering to have a backyard bbq event for this to get something organized. (At least my oldest dd who marries April of next year has already created her google doc tracking wedding plans. ) I offered to pay for them to elope and was turned down. The good Lord needs to lock my mouth shut. And I just got the text that wedding invitations were finally mailed today. I like her, I really like her. Be happy she didn't pick a venue at home.. FOUR states away. YOu'd have an even shorter guest list and your daughters will not be able to attend both wedding. It could be worse. Be happy MOB and Sister are wearing print dresses. They might be the type to wear yoga pants or shredded jeans everywhere. It is possible MOB hasn't worn a dress in decades. Pick a dress you like and feel good in. Let everyone else do the same. Your approval is not needed. Stop telling people there will be a reception in July; then you won't be questioned about the details. Sounds to me like you new dil just wants a very small wedding. Just because you want it to be bigger doesn't mean your desires should override her desires and your son's. Finally, don't get too snobbish about your daughter's great planning... chances are something she is doing is driving her future mil up a tree.
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Post by mygigiscraps on Mar 10, 2019 0:55:15 GMT
I am sitting on the bench with you. Scoot over, ‘cause I need a spot as well. I’d repeatedly tell myself “it’s not my wedding, it’s not my wedding.” And I would mean it. But the lack of forethought and planning would make me nuts. Got room for one more? 1. Wear whatever you want to (provided it's not white) and ROCK it. 2. Stand back. Yeah, it's her wedding. It's still damned inconsiderate not to think of her future husband's family at all when planning or choosing a date. Her stuff wasn't scheduled first, so you are absolutely right that it's going to be very hard on your family to handle all that in one day. 3. Enjoy being the mother of the groom. You mentioned your daughters. Believe me, your turn to be in the center of the turmoil is coming! Lol 4. There is no way you should miss the wedding or reception of your best friend's daughter. Her event was planned first, takes place later in the day, and any guests you have could entertain themselves for a few hours. 5. If your son is okay with everything, great. If he's not, well he will benefit more from learning to work through issues like this with her now, rather than having to deal with his wife and his mother being unhappy. After all, Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming. Maybe grandchildren soon. We all know that the real fun begins then. Breathe. Add vodka or tequila if needed.
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Post by Zee on Mar 10, 2019 1:03:56 GMT
While I would like to say "the dress doesn't matter!"... I think it does. It's considerate of the OP to want to coordinate with the MOB. When I got married in 2004 I was really young and didn't navigate the whole wedding planning process as well as I should have. My mom, who has always been self-conscious, had a horrible time choosing a dress and my MIL wouldn't pick something until my mom had her dress. Finally, about 6 months before the wedding, my mom picked a dress and it was awful. My wedding colors were two shades of pink, black, and silver and her dress was a busy print of blue, green, and purple. The dress was going to clash with my flowers and the decor, and I told her that. She was so mad! But she did go shopping for a new dress. She found a lovely peach dress which she liked. Meanwhile my MIL was tired of waiting on my mom to pick a dress so she went to Nordstrom and bought a pretty black dress, which in approved of. With 6 weeks to go before the wedding, my mom changed her mind again, ditched the peach dress, and found a new black dress. I was so annoyed that I only saw it briefly but okay'd the dress. The day of the wedding the photographer is getting ready to take family pictures and my mom changes into her dress. Five minutes later my MIL comes running out of the reception hall yelling "you're wearing my dress!!!". Yep, they bought the same dress. The exact same dress. Same color, same size, same brand. Of course both of them blame me for the mix up since I approved of both dresses. I'm no longer married but I still laugh at the dress mix-up. My mom and MIL did not find the situation funny at all and if asked are still mad about it. My point is... I think it's important to at least acknowledge the other dress(es) and attempt to coordinate. I understand why you're stressed and I'll validate you! I'd tell both of them to knock it off, idgaf if they're wearing the same dress or any other thing. I guess I should bow out because I'm really not into weddings and don't get the ridiculous drama they cause over petty things like the color of a dress on someone who's not even in the wedding.
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Post by drummergirl65 on Mar 10, 2019 1:08:13 GMT
I get the vent. I'm a MOG as well. Wedding in May. No dresses yet. Her Mom doesn't have one and I was waiting for her to pick one. Or at least pick a colour! I sent a pic of a dress I'm interested in to my future DIL that I loved. It's a beautiful floral print on a white background. I asked if it was too white and she said nope. OP, wear what you'd like and rock it! I think moving the date sucks. They just weren't thinking of the logistics. If I was the best man you'd bet I'd be dropping your son's wedding for the family wedding.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 13, 2024 15:55:02 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 10, 2019 1:15:56 GMT
I get the vent. I'm a MOG as well. Wedding in May. No dresses yet. Her Mom doesn't have one and I was waiting for her to pick one. Or at least pick a colour! I sent a pic of a dress I'm interested in to my future DIL that I loved. It's a beautiful floral print on a white background. I asked if it was too white and she said nope. OP, wear what you'd like and rock it! I think moving the date sucks. They just weren't thinking of the logistics. If I was the best man you'd bet I'd be dropping your son's wedding for the family wedding. IMO, they are thinking of the logistics.. just not of the OP's full family. They are having to think of the logistics for the bride's family too.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Mar 10, 2019 1:23:44 GMT
I didn’t know sisters were supposed to be involved in brothers weddings. None of the four of us sisters were a part of my brother’s wedding. Well except for setting up, decorating and cleaning up.
He was not a part of any of our weddings either. What wedding memo did we miss?
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Post by 950nancy on Mar 10, 2019 2:04:18 GMT
I think I was maybe a little too young to get married. I didn't even ask what either mother was wearing. My mom wore a bright royal dress and my MIL wore a dusty rose dress. The colors were red and black. I loved my mom's dress and sadly she was buried in it 18 months later.
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pridemom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,843
Jul 12, 2014 21:58:10 GMT
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Post by pridemom on Mar 10, 2019 2:14:59 GMT
Scoot over, ‘cause I need a spot as well. I’d repeatedly tell myself “it’s not my wedding, it’s not my wedding.” And I would mean it. But the lack of forethought and planning would make me nuts. Got room for one more? 1. Wear whatever you want to (provided it's not white) and ROCK it. 2. Stand back. Yeah, it's her wedding. It's still damned inconsiderate not to think of her future husband's family at all when planning or choosing a date. Her stuff wasn't scheduled first, so you are absolutely right that it's going to be very hard on your family to handle all that in one day. 3. Enjoy being the mother of the groom. You mentioned your daughters. Believe me, your turn to be in the center of the turmoil is coming! Lol 4. There is no way you should miss the wedding or reception of your best friend's daughter. Her event was planned first, takes place later in the day, and any guests you have could entertain themselves for a few hours. 5. If your son is okay with everything, great. If he's not, well he will benefit more from learning to work through issues like this with her now, rather than having to deal with his wife and his mother being unhappy. After all, Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming. Maybe grandchildren soon. We all know that the real fun begins then. Breathe. Add vodka or tequila if needed. Thank you! I do appreciate that my son is supporting his fiancée, because that is important for their relationship. In the end, it will work out. I may be spiking my punch, though. 😆 As for the other wedding, DH said he will stay home with his dad and our other family members staying in our home so I can attend the wedding. I hate that, but it is what it is.
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Post by Baseballmom23 on Mar 10, 2019 2:17:31 GMT
Some day, maybe a year or two, I will be MOG. I didn't know that the MOG waited until the MOB picked her dress/color. I learned so much from this thread. I just hope my son's GF will allow me to be a part of the wedding dress shopping (I have two sons).
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pridemom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,843
Jul 12, 2014 21:58:10 GMT
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Post by pridemom on Mar 10, 2019 2:26:39 GMT
While I would like to say "the dress doesn't matter!"... I think it does. It's considerate of the OP to want to coordinate with the MOB. When I got married in 2004 I was really young and didn't navigate the whole wedding planning process as well as I should have. My mom, who has always been self-conscious, had a horrible time choosing a dress and my MIL wouldn't pick something until my mom had her dress. Finally, about 6 months before the wedding, my mom picked a dress and it was awful. My wedding colors were two shades of pink, black, and silver and her dress was a busy print of blue, green, and purple. The dress was going to clash with my flowers and the decor, and I told her that. She was so mad! But she did go shopping for a new dress. She found a lovely peach dress which she liked. Meanwhile my MIL was tired of waiting on my mom to pick a dress so she went to Nordstrom and bought a pretty black dress, which in approved of. With 6 weeks to go before the wedding, my mom changed her mind again, ditched the peach dress, and found a new black dress. I was so annoyed that I only saw it briefly but okay'd the dress. The day of the wedding the photographer is getting ready to take family pictures and my mom changes into her dress. Five minutes later my MIL comes running out of the reception hall yelling "you're wearing my dress!!!". Yep, they bought the same dress. The exact same dress. Same color, same size, same brand. Of course both of them blame me for the mix up since I approved of both dresses. I'm no longer married but I still laugh at the dress mix-up. My mom and MIL did not find the situation funny at all and if asked are still mad about it. My point is... I think it's important to at least acknowledge the other dress(es) and attempt to coordinate. I understand why you're stressed and I'll validate you! Wow, what are the odds of choosing the exact same dress? I am glad you find the humor in it. The nice thing about today’s tech is I was sent a picture of MOBs dress. One disaster avoided.
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craftymom101
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,629
Jul 31, 2014 5:23:25 GMT
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Post by craftymom101 on Mar 10, 2019 2:32:06 GMT
While I would like to say "the dress doesn't matter!"... I think it does. It's considerate of the OP to want to coordinate with the MOB. When I got married in 2004 I was really young and didn't navigate the whole wedding planning process as well as I should have. My mom, who has always been self-conscious, had a horrible time choosing a dress and my MIL wouldn't pick something until my mom had her dress. Finally, about 6 months before the wedding, my mom picked a dress and it was awful. My wedding colors were two shades of pink, black, and silver and her dress was a busy print of blue, green, and purple. The dress was going to clash with my flowers and the decor, and I told her that. She was so mad! But she did go shopping for a new dress. She found a lovely peach dress which she liked. Meanwhile my MIL was tired of waiting on my mom to pick a dress so she went to Nordstrom and bought a pretty black dress, which in approved of. With 6 weeks to go before the wedding, my mom changed her mind again, ditched the peach dress, and found a new black dress. I was so annoyed that I only saw it briefly but okay'd the dress. The day of the wedding the photographer is getting ready to take family pictures and my mom changes into her dress. Five minutes later my MIL comes running out of the reception hall yelling "you're wearing my dress!!!". Yep, they bought the same dress. The exact same dress. Same color, same size, same brand. Of course both of them blame me for the mix up since I approved of both dresses. I'm no longer married but I still laugh at the dress mix-up. My mom and MIL did not find the situation funny at all and if asked are still mad about it. My point is... I think it's important to at least acknowledge the other dress(es) and attempt to coordinate. I understand why you're stressed and I'll validate you! Wow, what are the odds of choosing the exact same dress? I am glad you find the humor in it. The nice thing about today’s tech is I was sent a picture of MOBs dress. One disaster avoided. It was shocking at the time... My MIL's reaction (anger), my mom's reaction to HER reaction (mortification), then they both looked at me and clearly they were upset that I hadn't caught the mistake. I brought it up to my mom a few years ago and she is still very, very angry that I vetoed her first (ugly) dress. Oh well... I was 18/19, young and immature. I've moved on (and we're now divorced so the pictures have been taken down!). OP good luck with the wedding! I'll be thinking about you as the wedding date approaches.
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Post by 950nancy on Mar 10, 2019 2:35:42 GMT
Some day, maybe a year or two, I will be MOG. I didn't know that the MOG waited until the MOB picked her dress/color. I learned so much from this thread. I just hope my son's GF will allow me to be a part of the wedding dress shopping (I have two sons). I didn't know that either. I am pretty sure my son's gf would ask me to be there. She thinks I am funny and always in a good mood. . I tell her I am just glad to be hanging out with a female now and then.
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