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Post by coaliesquirrel on Oct 25, 2019 0:15:42 GMT
I'm so sorry. What a horrible thing, even if you sort of knew it was a possibility - it's still a painful loss. I think you're sort of local to me (KCish) - please PM if there's anything I could help with or do to make things easier for you.
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AllieC
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,057
Jul 4, 2014 6:57:02 GMT
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Post by AllieC on Oct 25, 2019 0:16:34 GMT
I am so sorry, sending much love x
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YooHoot
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,417
Jun 26, 2014 3:11:50 GMT
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Post by YooHoot on Oct 25, 2019 0:16:34 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. How horrible for you and his family. Take care of yourself.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Oct 25, 2019 0:18:29 GMT
Sorry for your loss.
(((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))
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Post by birukitty on Oct 25, 2019 0:20:05 GMT
Sharla I am so very sorry this happened to you and your family. The loss of a partner is devastating but to lose one to suicide and to have to find your partner's body- this must add exponentially to the pain and loss. I just want to wrap you in my arms and give you a big hug! I too wish I had a magic wand to make it all go away. I am so sorry you had to go through that.
Now is the time to surround yourself with those who will support you. You mentioned friends and that's wonderful. If your family can't provide the emotional support you need then don't lean on them-now is not the time to hear negative remarks about your partner. Are you religious by any chance? If you are leaning on your faith and church will help. If not-no biggie-when you are ready I think support groups for those who have lost partners to suicide may be worth a try and could hopefully prove to provide emotional support and even a friend or two who is going through the same thing.
I am very sorry for your loss. Your boyfriend sounds like he was a wonderful partner to you and great with your son when his addiction wasn't getting the best of him. May his memory be eternal.
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Post by 2peafaithful on Oct 25, 2019 0:20:15 GMT
I am so very sorry. My heart hurts for you. Please be kind to yourself in the midst of each moment. You are loved and not alone.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Oct 25, 2019 0:21:03 GMT
Monday. My boyfriend died. I found him. 911 made me do CPR, even though he was really gone. I figured suicide because he tried twice this year already. Also the circumstances where I found him. But so far the coroner is saying he had an enlarged heart and significant blockage. They say tox info won’t be available for months. His family has been great and loving, but they are 3 hours away. My family and friends didn’t like him, so I feel really isolated from mourning with people who share my affection from him. I haven’t had to deal with the funeral etc because his mom is next of kin. But I have all of his stuff, and I’m trying to move soon so I don’t really have the luxury of just sitting on his belongings until I’m ready. I don’t want to host his family to come in and take what they want, having people in my house would stress me out. My son suggested I put his stuff in storage and then just give them the key and let them sort through it. My blood pressure keeps going really high, it was 170/110 yesterday. It goes down if I take a Xanax and just sit around in the recliner. It did this the other two times he attempted suicide so it’s totally situational and it normalizes when things calm down. I went to the ER but after sitting in the waiting room for over an hour I left, bought a blood pressure reader thingy at Walmart and came home. I had been at that hospital with him five times this calendar year already, hanging out there wasn’t doing me any good. This is just the end of months and months of me texting him daily praying he would answer so that I would know he was alive. We had this shitty dynamic where I was nagging him to do things that were less self-destructive (He was an addict, lost his job in January for using meth,and that’s when the whole downward spiral started) It’s been really reassuring though, scrolling through our texts, seeing How loving we were with each other. I’m glad to have had our 2+ years together. He set the bar for me in how I want to be treated in a relationship. He helped me TONS with my mentally ill son, and took care of me so many times when I was exhausted from that emotional burden. Suicide fucks up the family and loved ones in a special way. ETA— If you are superstitious, this is something weird: we had two birds that got into our house last week. Holy shit and I AM SO VERY SORRY hugs to you, take care of yourself.
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rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,661
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
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Post by rodeomom on Oct 25, 2019 0:21:36 GMT
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. {{Hugs}}
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Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,646
Location: Kansas City -ish
Jun 27, 2014 2:38:58 GMT
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Post by Anita on Oct 25, 2019 0:22:06 GMT
I'm really sorry.
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Post by peace on Oct 25, 2019 0:23:34 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. Please do find someone to talk to if you need- the amount of emotional turmoil this can cause is so very much for any one person to have to handle. Love & light. May you find peace in his memory.
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twinsmomfla99
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,987
Jun 26, 2014 13:42:47 GMT
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Post by twinsmomfla99 on Oct 25, 2019 0:23:40 GMT
I am so sorry.😢😢
Hugs to you.
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Post by Restless Spirit on Oct 25, 2019 0:24:41 GMT
I’m so very sorry. You seem to have seen the good in him. That was a lovely gift to give him along with your love.
When you are ready, please feel free to share whatever you wish about him. Everyone deserves to be remembered. He was part of your life. He mattered. We will listen and not judge.
Hugs to you.
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Post by bothmykidsrbrats on Oct 25, 2019 0:27:06 GMT
I'm so sorry for your devastating loss. I'm glad reading through your texts is bringing you comfort. Please take care of yourself. {HUGS}
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Oct 25, 2019 0:28:32 GMT
(((((Sharlag))))) I'm so sorry. That's an awful lot to be dealing with.
Wishing you peace and comfort during this hard time.
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Post by Sanibel on Oct 25, 2019 0:28:45 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss! Please come back to vent and grieve with us. We will listen! May he Rest In Peace.
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Post by leannec on Oct 25, 2019 0:34:12 GMT
I'm so very sorry for your loss
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Post by dewryce on Oct 25, 2019 0:36:25 GMT
Oh honey I am so very sorry, what a horrible thing to have gone through. (((Hugs))). I understand wanting to be around soothing people, you do whatever is going to make you feel best and don’t feel any guilt if that means only being around certain people right now. The storage facility sounds like a good idea, though gathering his things may be difficult so soon after losing him. Do you have someone that can be there and help you do that? Losing someone is so hard, and add to it the way you may have lost him, talking to a counselor wouldn’t be out of line to help you process that. Make sure and take care of you!
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Post by ametallichick on Oct 25, 2019 0:36:28 GMT
I have no advice to give. But I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss.
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Post by Skellinton on Oct 25, 2019 0:40:10 GMT
I am just so sorry. Please take care of yourself and get that BP checked,
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msliz
Drama Llama
The Procrastinator
Posts: 6,419
Jun 26, 2014 21:32:34 GMT
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Post by msliz on Oct 25, 2019 0:40:34 GMT
I'm so sorry. Please be kind to yourself. Hugs.
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muggins
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,861
Jul 30, 2017 3:38:57 GMT
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Post by muggins on Oct 25, 2019 0:43:27 GMT
I’m so sorry. Please take care of yourself.
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valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,637
Jun 27, 2014 2:21:22 GMT
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Post by valincal on Oct 25, 2019 0:43:32 GMT
I am so very sorry Sharla.
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Post by pmm on Oct 25, 2019 0:43:39 GMT
I'm so sorry. Big hugs to you and his family.
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Post by quinlove on Oct 25, 2019 0:47:09 GMT
Oh no ! I am so sorry. Sending love. Lots of it. ❤️
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breetheflea
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,919
Location: PNW
Jul 20, 2014 21:57:23 GMT
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Post by breetheflea on Oct 25, 2019 0:53:02 GMT
I'm sorry to hear this. Take care of yourself.
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peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,389
Aug 16, 2014 23:15:53 GMT
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Post by peaname on Oct 25, 2019 0:53:14 GMT
I’m so sorry. I pray you’ll find peace and healing from this tragedy.
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scrappinwithoutpeas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,914
Location: Northern Virginia
Aug 7, 2014 22:09:44 GMT
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Post by scrappinwithoutpeas on Oct 25, 2019 0:56:51 GMT
Sharla, I'm so sorry to for your loss. (((((HUGS))))) Please know that the pea community is here for you to share "the good, the bad, and the ugly" and everything in between, as you go through the grieving for this traumatic loss.
Like others have said, I think it's a good idea to put his things in storage and let his family go through them on their own. Take the time you need and reach out to friends or others (including us here on the board) who are able to help, be a shoulder to cry on, or provide an ear to listen. Maybe finding a support group specific to loss through similar circumstances could be a comfort as well.
Again, hugs to you and your kids. Be gentle with yourself.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Oct 25, 2019 0:57:04 GMT
I am very sorry, Sharla.
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Post by bearmom on Oct 25, 2019 1:00:13 GMT
Sorry for your loss.
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,363
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Oct 25, 2019 1:00:39 GMT
Omg Sharla. I am so sorry for your loss. 😥.
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