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Post by workingclassdog on Feb 7, 2020 22:41:04 GMT
WOW...I can't imagine why this is so important to this guy. I mean they are dead. Leave them be. And the cost of doing this? I can't even imagine. I can't even imagine this is not against the law.
Hang in there. I hope you get some resolution.
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MerryMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,539
Jul 24, 2014 19:51:57 GMT
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Post by MerryMom on Feb 13, 2020 5:31:34 GMT
2/12/2020 Update:
Each County Prosecutor declined to prosecute as the law doesn’t specify the criminal sanction within the law. Per the county prosecutors, this is a civil matter, so we would need to file a civil complaint against the two cemeteries and/or the uncle.
Any thoughts on next steps?
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wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,769
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Feb 13, 2020 10:32:28 GMT
I can't believe that disturbing a grave has no consequences in law, sounds crazy.
I guess the next step depends what you want to achieve and how much time, money and effort you want to throw at it.
If it was me, (and I'm not in the U.S. so take my viewpoint with a pinch of salt) I'd find a lawyer who specialises in inheritance, wills, estate planning, that type of law as they are more likely to be aware of the laws, case laws and acts covering end of life and burial.
I would include by name your uncle's friend, the cemetery supervisor in the legal action as he seems to have been a key person. If he has a court case pending against he might think twice before being involved again. Your uncle needed help to move bodies.
If the cemeteries don't respond sufficiently to your requests I would turn on every media spotlight I could think of. The reaction of the peas shows this behaviour is not acceptable and the owners need to answer for what happens in their cemeteries. I'm sure the headline, cemetery takes no action over illegal body move, would raise public awareness.
I would also ask the lawyer how to protect the unmoved relatives and others going forward.
On the other hand, you could inform your uncle that since it's okay for him to do them it will be okay for you to do when he dies. How does he feel about a burial at sea?!
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Post by christine58 on Feb 13, 2020 10:40:58 GMT
Each County Prosecutor declined to prosecute as the law doesn’t specify the criminal sanction within the law. Per the county prosecutors, this is a civil matter, so we would need to file a civil complaint against the two cemeteries and/or the uncle. Any thoughts on next steps? File
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peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,389
Aug 16, 2014 23:15:53 GMT
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Post by peaname on Feb 13, 2020 11:52:22 GMT
As the only surviving child he was following the law. I can see why you are upset but throwing money and lawyers at the situation won’t help. I would seek good therapy to help you move on from this rather than try and fight it.
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Post by phoenixcov on Feb 13, 2020 13:06:45 GMT
You don`t need bloody therapy...your Uncle does. I am with wellway on this one. Just because Uncle is old doesn`t excuse his behaviour at all. Have at him pea.
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Post by workingclassdog on Feb 13, 2020 14:39:17 GMT
The snarky side of me if I had the money, I would do the same thing and move the bodies back where they came from... If he can do it so can you. But in reality.. yeah, I wouldn't do that. I guess my personal opinion only, if it was my family, I would let it go. They are gone. I am not one to really go visit graves anyways except here and there. But you have to go with your gut and decide how important it is to you and if it is that important then proceed..
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Post by Mel on Feb 13, 2020 15:42:46 GMT
In our Cemetery (I work in the office of the biggest one in southeast Iowa), the graves can be sold back to the cemetery, or to other people, etc. They are treated just like any other empty plot.
He must have more money than he knows what to do with because court costs, dis-interment fees, re-interment fees, etc for that many people would be pretty steep!!
I'm so sorry you are going through this. Hugs!
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Post by Mel on Feb 13, 2020 15:51:24 GMT
And, I would file the civil suit... it will at least set a precedent and maybe keep other families in the future from going through what you are. I'm still scratching my head about it all... there is NO way we would EVER allow all of that to happen here no matter how much money he had... but since his friend has the "authority" as the sexton of the cemetery to do it, I guess that makes it all ok. BUT... the cemeteries that they were moved from should NOT have allowed it. There is a TON of red tape involved, and no matter who you are or where you are moving ANY full body remains HAVE to have a court order to be dis-interred. Cremains (ash remains) don't have the same rule because they are not technically "human remains" once they are cremated.
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Post by librarylady on Feb 13, 2020 16:56:29 GMT
In Texas, each cemetery can make its own rules, so you may be up against something like that where you live.
Unless you have lots of cash--unfortunately you will have to let it go. Sad, but reality.
I'd try to make YOUR grave locked down where it could not be moved after your death.
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Post by peace on Feb 13, 2020 17:53:41 GMT
Do you have any interest in making it on the news? This story is very interesting and I would think it might be the kind of publicity the uncle doesn't want. Unless you have deep pockets and you can follow the civil court path. Or both.
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Post by snoopy on Feb 13, 2020 18:04:35 GMT
I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this. It is completely shocking, disrespectful and disturbing that somebody would disrupt the graves of their “loved ones” in such a way. I think that if you truly love and respect another person, you would not do this to their gravesite. It is also shocking and seams ridiculous that this could happen with absolutely no consequence.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 18:26:21 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2020 18:31:29 GMT
This all painful to you but as the last surviving son he has the right to move his parents. There may have been no room at the first cemetery for his family and he was able to find a huge area with several plots.
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Feb 13, 2020 19:59:19 GMT
2/12/2020 Update: Each County Prosecutor declined to prosecute as the law doesn’t specify the criminal sanction within the law. Per the county prosecutors, this is a civil matter, so we would need to file a civil complaint against the two cemeteries and/or the uncle. Any thoughts on next steps? Contact your local news station. As a public interest story, this one has it all. Other than that, hope that you are his last surviving family member so that you can have him cremated and his remains scattered at the local strip joint. Because fuck him.
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MerryMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,539
Jul 24, 2014 19:51:57 GMT
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Post by MerryMom on Feb 16, 2020 5:55:51 GMT
This all painful to you but as the last surviving son he has the right to move his parents. There may have been no room at the first cemetery for his family and he was able to find a huge area with several plots. There are 100s of burial plots available at the old cemetery, but I guess he wanted to be at the “fancier” cemetery.
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Post by malibou on Jul 1, 2021 18:12:50 GMT
2/12/2020 Update: Each County Prosecutor declined to prosecute as the law doesn’t specify the criminal sanction within the law. Per the county prosecutors, this is a civil matter, so we would need to file a civil complaint against the two cemeteries and/or the uncle. Any thoughts on next steps? MerryMom Dh is an attorney, he recommended the following, The cemetery should be under a State Licensing Board. Definitely contact them to report and find out what can be done to make things right. Thru civil court you will need an injunction to stop uncle from moving anymore people. Then a request for a court order to return people to where they belong, with their proper headstones. And you can file for intentional or unintentional infliction of emotional distress. This is a monetary award. I hope this gives you something to go on.
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MerryMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,539
Jul 24, 2014 19:51:57 GMT
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Post by MerryMom on Jul 2, 2021 2:51:20 GMT
2/12/2020 Update: Each County Prosecutor declined to prosecute as the law doesn’t specify the criminal sanction within the law. Per the county prosecutors, this is a civil matter, so we would need to file a civil complaint against the two cemeteries and/or the uncle. Any thoughts on next steps? MerryMom Dh is an attorney, he recommended the following, The cemetery should be under a State Licensing Board. Definitely contact them to report and find out what can be done to make things right. Thru civil court you will need an injunction to stop uncle from moving anymore people. Then a request for a court order to return people to where they belong, with their proper headstones. And you can file for intentional or unintentional infliction of emotional distress. This is a monetary award. I hope this gives you something to go on. Hi, my brother and I filed a complaint against the two cemeteries with the state agency, but in Ohio, it’s a dispute resolution board. So other than apologize profusely, and say this will never happen again, there’s nothing they can do now. My brother and I hired an attorney and a court filing against our uncle for a “declaratory judgment” with the Probate Court is pending. Our request is for our uncle to put the people back, at his cost, and to reimburse us for our legal fee.
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Post by MalleyCat on Jul 2, 2021 3:22:38 GMT
It’s hard to believe he was even allowed to do that! That’s soooo wrong and you have every right to be super pissed off! Talk about some bad karma by doing what he did! I can’t imagine what the cost was to do this???😮 I Hope he ends up being buried all alone!
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Post by malibou on Jul 2, 2021 3:56:23 GMT
MerryMom Dh is an attorney, he recommended the following, The cemetery should be under a State Licensing Board. Definitely contact them to report and find out what can be done to make things right. Thru civil court you will need an injunction to stop uncle from moving anymore people. Then a request for a court order to return people to where they belong, with their proper headstones. And you can file for intentional or unintentional infliction of emotional distress. This is a monetary award. I hope this gives you something to go on. Hi, my brother and I filed a complaint against the two cemeteries with the state agency, but in Ohio, it’s a dispute resolution board. So other than apologize profusely, and say this will never happen again, there’s nothing they can do now. My brother and I hired an attorney and a court filing against our uncle for a “declaratory judgment” with the Probate Court is pending. Our request is for our uncle to put the people back, at his cost, and to reimburse us for our legal fee. You might want to speak to your Atty about the infliction of emotional distress. It gives you something to take back when negotiating this with your uncle.
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MerryMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,539
Jul 24, 2014 19:51:57 GMT
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Post by MerryMom on Feb 19, 2022 2:11:23 GMT
5th Update: our attorney and our uncle’s attorney have had 3 “status conferences” with the Judge.
Basically, it is clear our uncle did this illegally or fraudulently: he didn’t file in court for 2 relatives and for the other 4, he failed to list the relatives who should have been provided with notice of his court filing, so those people could object.
However, despite that, the judge could say our uncle was absolutely wrong, BUT the Judge could say that he doesn’t want to move these people again. The Probate Judge has the discretion.
So my brother and I provided an offer (our one and final offer) to our Uncle, we are waiting to hear back.
If not, then we are prepared for the Judge to issue a ruling or set it for trial.
Oh and we had to pay more money to our attorney.
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Post by freecharlie on Feb 19, 2022 2:17:38 GMT
I can't believe that this is still being drawn out. I hope it turns out in your favor
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AmeliaBloomer
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,842
Location: USA
Jun 26, 2014 5:01:45 GMT
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Feb 19, 2022 11:43:30 GMT
I’d never read this thread before. Read it last night and woke up this morning thinking about it.
I love that you called your uncle The Sun King. Of course, he’s a narcissist so he’ll never understand that you were spot on. On the other hand, he’s a narcissist so it still probably enraged him in that special narcissist enraged way. Well done.
Good luck. God speed. Go get ‘em. I’m guessing your mother would be proud.
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 19, 2022 11:46:42 GMT
MerryMom I am sorry you are still dealing with this. It's an unbelievable situation.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Feb 19, 2022 12:43:46 GMT
Unbelievable how long these kinds of situations can be dragged out. I hope the old guy loses and has to pay to make it all right again. Thank you for keeping us updated!
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Post by malibou on Feb 19, 2022 16:14:12 GMT
Holy crapoly! I'm proud of you and your brother for seeing this thru. May the system play to your favour.
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Post by chaosisapony on Feb 19, 2022 16:28:54 GMT
I can't believe this is still going through the courts. Wow. I'm so glad to hear you have not given up and aren't willing to roll over for the sun king.
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ddly
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Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
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Post by ddly on Feb 19, 2022 21:35:33 GMT
I also can’t believe this is still going on. I hope the judge rules in your favor!
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,617
Member is Online
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Feb 19, 2022 22:34:29 GMT
I’m going to go with my initial reaction: what a weirdo he is. Who does shit like this? Ridiculous and I’m sorry you had to be dragged into it - but I totally understand your side of this.
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,775
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Feb 19, 2022 23:03:04 GMT
I am so sorry this is happening. I hope that uncle gets stopped.
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Post by Restless Spirit on Feb 19, 2022 23:16:14 GMT
I’m going to go with my initial reaction: what a weirdo he is. Who does shit like this? Ridiculous and I’m sorry you had to be dragged into it - but I totally understand your side of this. My thoughts exactly. I was telling my DH about this and decided “uncle” is bat shit crazy. I’m also totally surprised by how many individuals had to have been involved with the relocation of six!!! bodies and no one did their due diligence to ensure all the proper protocols and procedures were performed. There had to have been a cemetery sales person, cemetery sales manager, cemetery grounds personnel, not to mention licensed funeral directors at the funeral homes involved. That’s a lot of people blindly going along with “Uncle’s” scheme and turning a blind eye and not questioning the legalities. I’m guessing these same people benefited financially and it has been worth it. I’m Pea-livid for you. (Says the person who is more and more convinced everyday that direct cremation, no funeral, no service, ashes scattered is exactly what I want.)
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