Uncle moved graves—11/13/2023 FINAL UPDATE in OP
Nov 17, 2019 21:31:25 GMT
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mom22grlz, Sarah*H, and 22 more like this
Post by MerryMom on Nov 17, 2019 21:31:25 GMT
My mom died in July. In 2016, she picked out and bought her burial plot in the same cemetery her parents were buried in. She got her plot as close as she could get to her parents. She’s one row and 5 plots away ( around 15 feet away).
Her grandfather died in the 1939 and her dad bought 4 plots: the grandfather L. is buried in one plot, Aunt I. died in 1951 and is in the second plot, her father (my Grandpa) died in 1962 and is in the 3rd plot, Grandma died in 1997 and is in the 4th plot. This is an older Country cemetery.
Fast forward to 2014. Uncle J (my mom’s brother) buys 12 plots in a cemetery across town and puts up this huge marker (7 feet high) with his last name and his name and his wife’s name on it.
He talks his son’s widow into having his body moved and reburied.
In 2015, after one of the aunts died (buried out of state where she lived), uncle J. calls my mom out of the blue, and says he wants to have their parents and the other 2 relatives disinterred and moved to be in the “satellite graves” around HIS marker/monument. My mother was adamant ( as was the other aunt M and other brother T) that they not be moved. It’s their final resting place, been there for 20 to 60 years.
In our state, all the surviving children must all agree for the parents to be moved.
Aunt M died then Uncle T died. Neither are buried in the old country cemetery. It is well kept and nicely mowed.
You see where this is going.
Mom died in July and she was buried within 15 feet of her parents. My mom is the ONLY child who is buried near her parents. My parents are divorced and mom never remarried, so she is not buried next to anyone except her parents.
I went to cemetery yesterday to put out the cemetery blanket and I found my uncle J had his and my mom’s parents dug up and the other 2 relatives dug up and moved them to be in the satellite graves around his grave marker.
I am very upset by this, but managed to call him calmly. I asked why would he do that. He said so they are together, I said why didn’t you buy plots at the old cemetery if it was important for you that they are together. He just replied they are together.
I said no, they aren’t, you moved them away from my mom.
His reply? I have four extra plots and you can move your mom in one of those.
I gasped and said No, I think it is morally and ethically wrong to dig up people and rebury them to fulfill the need of an egocentric narcissistic to have relatives gathered around you like you are the sun king.
He hung up on me.
Very upsetting, thanks for reading this.
ETA: he has now moved 7 relatives to be reburied around his marker.
11/11/22 update: As we expected, he filed an appeal so the Judge issued a stay order. We are in limbo yet again.
May 4, 2023 update: For the two relatives that there wasn’t a court order on, the judge ordered for them to be returned to their original burial place. For the 4 that there was a court order on, the judge vacated the order to disinter. There will be a court hearing in which the judge will decide if they will be moved back. So this is looking favorable to us. Thanks for all the support.
July 12, 2023 update: The district court of appeals denied our uncle’s court filing. We hope the local court will order a quick deadline for the disinterments. We have an appointment next week with our attorney about our next steps. Thank you for the support.
October 9, 2023 UPDATE: There was a court hearing last week and the uncle agreed to pay for the costs of the disinterments, moving everyone back, reburials, and resetting their original grave markers within 15 days. We’ll see if this happens or if this is an another stall tactic. If he doesn’t pay, the Judge ruled that we can file and will receive a judgement against him and/or his estate without another court hearing.
We will see, 8 more days. Thank you for the support in this process.
10/19/2023 UPDATE: I received a phone call from one of the cemeteries today. She said our uncle’s attorney brought in a check for their cost of the disinterments. The attorney was on the way to the other businesses involved with the disinterments to distribute their checks. She said the bank said there was enough money for their check. This isn’t confirmed, but hopefully we are in the home stretch. A four year horrible journey.
11/13/2023: All 6 people have been moved and reburied. Their original grave markers will be reset in the spring after the ground settles. Thank you for the support.
Her grandfather died in the 1939 and her dad bought 4 plots: the grandfather L. is buried in one plot, Aunt I. died in 1951 and is in the second plot, her father (my Grandpa) died in 1962 and is in the 3rd plot, Grandma died in 1997 and is in the 4th plot. This is an older Country cemetery.
Fast forward to 2014. Uncle J (my mom’s brother) buys 12 plots in a cemetery across town and puts up this huge marker (7 feet high) with his last name and his name and his wife’s name on it.
He talks his son’s widow into having his body moved and reburied.
In 2015, after one of the aunts died (buried out of state where she lived), uncle J. calls my mom out of the blue, and says he wants to have their parents and the other 2 relatives disinterred and moved to be in the “satellite graves” around HIS marker/monument. My mother was adamant ( as was the other aunt M and other brother T) that they not be moved. It’s their final resting place, been there for 20 to 60 years.
In our state, all the surviving children must all agree for the parents to be moved.
Aunt M died then Uncle T died. Neither are buried in the old country cemetery. It is well kept and nicely mowed.
You see where this is going.
Mom died in July and she was buried within 15 feet of her parents. My mom is the ONLY child who is buried near her parents. My parents are divorced and mom never remarried, so she is not buried next to anyone except her parents.
I went to cemetery yesterday to put out the cemetery blanket and I found my uncle J had his and my mom’s parents dug up and the other 2 relatives dug up and moved them to be in the satellite graves around his grave marker.
I am very upset by this, but managed to call him calmly. I asked why would he do that. He said so they are together, I said why didn’t you buy plots at the old cemetery if it was important for you that they are together. He just replied they are together.
I said no, they aren’t, you moved them away from my mom.
His reply? I have four extra plots and you can move your mom in one of those.
I gasped and said No, I think it is morally and ethically wrong to dig up people and rebury them to fulfill the need of an egocentric narcissistic to have relatives gathered around you like you are the sun king.
He hung up on me.
Very upsetting, thanks for reading this.
ETA: he has now moved 7 relatives to be reburied around his marker.
11/11/22 update: As we expected, he filed an appeal so the Judge issued a stay order. We are in limbo yet again.
May 4, 2023 update: For the two relatives that there wasn’t a court order on, the judge ordered for them to be returned to their original burial place. For the 4 that there was a court order on, the judge vacated the order to disinter. There will be a court hearing in which the judge will decide if they will be moved back. So this is looking favorable to us. Thanks for all the support.
July 12, 2023 update: The district court of appeals denied our uncle’s court filing. We hope the local court will order a quick deadline for the disinterments. We have an appointment next week with our attorney about our next steps. Thank you for the support.
October 9, 2023 UPDATE: There was a court hearing last week and the uncle agreed to pay for the costs of the disinterments, moving everyone back, reburials, and resetting their original grave markers within 15 days. We’ll see if this happens or if this is an another stall tactic. If he doesn’t pay, the Judge ruled that we can file and will receive a judgement against him and/or his estate without another court hearing.
We will see, 8 more days. Thank you for the support in this process.
10/19/2023 UPDATE: I received a phone call from one of the cemeteries today. She said our uncle’s attorney brought in a check for their cost of the disinterments. The attorney was on the way to the other businesses involved with the disinterments to distribute their checks. She said the bank said there was enough money for their check. This isn’t confirmed, but hopefully we are in the home stretch. A four year horrible journey.
11/13/2023: All 6 people have been moved and reburied. Their original grave markers will be reset in the spring after the ground settles. Thank you for the support.
