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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 25, 2018 8:20:22 GMT
You could be part of the solution as well as pointing out the issues. Take them something to put outside for their cig. butts. Let them know you are willing to work with them on this. Having ciggie butts all over is not acceptable and they do pile up as they don't disintegrate. The yapping dogs can be handled also. Brainstorm with them on how it can be lessened. Perhaps, close the doggie door more and not give the dogs so much outside time. Unless of course, they are yapping inside as well and you can hear them. But talk to them. Be helpful and show you are not mad but want some solutions.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 25, 2018 4:36:16 GMT
I have been there. It got so bad that my breathing was affected. It took a few months to figure it all out. Finally an ENT stuck a scope up my nose and down my throat and discovered reflux along with sinus drainage. You should go ahead and see an ENT. I never knew I had reflux though I knew about the sinus issues.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 22, 2018 6:32:21 GMT
No problem with it here. I have to give myself little talks before leaving the car - reminding myself to listen and not talk so much. Things that "normal" people take for granted. I am just a talker and have to remember to cut back and listen and ask questions that I really want to know the answers to. Not much different from what he has on his notes.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 18, 2018 8:30:12 GMT
I agree with the above. DO NOT mess with the padding of the helmet. It have been very carefully engineered to protect your son's brains. MC Helmets are meant to be tight. They should fit very snugly so being thrown to the ground will not jar it loose. Have your son wear it at home for 10 to 15 minutes and then check for redness. A helmet should be as tight as you can get it. If you move it from side to side while on, the eyebrows should move some. Also remember as it is worn, the padding thins a bit and it becomes a little looser, like leather shoes.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 18, 2018 8:06:26 GMT
Instead of listing the names on the ballot for voting, leave a blank for the voter to write in the name they like the most. That way those that show up at the last minute still get to compete in the name contest. It could be a great party starter where everybody is trying to come up with a great name at the last minute. Plus it means you can go ahead and print your ballots. This can go under the a la carte part of the menu/ballot with perhaps four blank lines for people to write names on with their favorite circled. That way they have a place to write some names down in case they forget them. You can get golf pencils real cheap to go with the ballots so everyone will have something to write with.
OR instead of the ballots looking like menus, have them look like the guest checks that waitresses use. Then everyone can write in their first, second and third choices on chili and the same on names.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 18, 2018 7:49:50 GMT
I would have least have liked a heads up about the situation. If I have to pay, then I need to know sometimes in advance in order to be sure to have sufficient funds. Also, what if I was unable to eat something that was ordered for me, or if I hated what was being served? Did the meal cost any less due to it having been the same for all the guests? If not what was the point of it? To save time?
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 16, 2018 9:08:17 GMT
Oh wow, I have not heard of this. Off to go check it out.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 16, 2018 9:06:39 GMT
In our 48 years of marriage, we have been there a time or two. It helps to know that this too will pass. One of the things that I learned along the way is to work on my own issues and to rediscover my happy place before worrying about hubby. If I am not in the groove, then I am just looking on from the outside and not able to help anyone. Find things that you like to do, things that bring you satisfaction and perhaps a bit of happy. Don't dwell on not being happy. Carve out time for hobbies and ways to feed the soul. Your contentment and happiness will spill over into your home and become contagious almost. A home with two unhappy people can be soul destroying. One person can make the difference and be an oasis for the rest. A place to rest their spirit. Be that person for your family. It takes work and might mean cutting back on responsibilities to do those happy inducing activities. But it needs doing.
I notice you are church members. This means every Sunday is more than half way taken up with church as well as various times through out the week. Check that out and be sure you are getting value for your time spent at church. Don't go to church events just because it is there to do and is expected of you. I say this as one who was raised in that kind of home and it really took a lot of meaning out the main events at church as I was always there. Plus we then did not have time for family events. Church events are NOT family events where you, your husband and children are spending time solely with each other. So be careful of that. That will suck the joy out of your relationship with the Lord in a hurry.
I will say this though, when the kids are young and at home, it seems they take the focus off the marriage and onto raising family. That is biology - our hormones work to make our children a priority. It is up to the parents to realize this and to make time for their relationship.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 15, 2018 6:52:45 GMT
My Post Office seems to love my version of mail art. The last package I took in the clerk was trying to find a good place to put the postage strip so as to not mess up the artwork. LOL --I don't do the caligraphy but paint and doodle on my envelopes and packages. They are for swaps and most swaps require the envelope to be decorated in some way. I try to make sure to use permanent ink so it won't run if it gets wet and ruin other people's mail. Also, I make sure the address is clearly visible. If you notice, most mail art does this, perhaps leaving a blank space around the address or perhaps making it large enough to stand out.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 12, 2018 3:22:53 GMT
love them. wish we could have another one, our kitty gets lonely at times.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 9, 2018 6:52:01 GMT
One should always expect a hiccup when having this kind of work done. And it sounds like you have had a lot done. If this is the only issue that is causing a change in the charges, count yourself lucky. Pay a good workman for the work that is done no matter what the estimate was. Good workmen are hard to find and need all the encouragement they can get. Both you are getting a lesson that should have been learned already. Changing a professional relationship to a personal relationship has its drawbacks.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 7, 2018 9:01:42 GMT
I have vocal chord damage from too much coughing and from trying to continue to teach when the voice was out. So, please, please take care of this. Your voice is your career. I lost my teaching career because of it all. your post worried me so much that when I woke up this morning and my throat was swollen and hurting that I called in sick and called the doctor. It does not hurt to give your vocal chords a rest. You should see an ENT if it continues. My problem was exacerbated by acid reflux that I did not know I had. When it got so bad it was affecting my breathing, I was finally sent to an ENT who discovered all the vocal chord issues. (In those days, you had to have a referral to specialists or the insurance would not cover it) I did not mean to scare you and hope you understand that. I just wanted to be sure you were being careful. So many times we just don't realize the long term consequences.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 5, 2018 10:44:13 GMT
I have vocal chord damage from too much coughing and from trying to continue to teach when the voice was out. So, please, please take care of this. Your voice is your career. I lost my teaching career because of it all.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 4, 2018 10:47:15 GMT
I could see it as a thank you for hanging in there with me when so much was going on in my life. That is if so much was going on or if I was a pretty complicated person. It is hard to be friends with some people as they are so complicated perhaps in medical issues and dislikes, family issues and phobias. This person might be acknowledging that this is the case and giving you thanks for putting up with it. Of course, if she is using this line as a excuse, then that is a whole different matter.
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Post by nlwilkins on Feb 1, 2018 7:23:28 GMT
that is why we keep our vehicles until they are so old they no longer are able to be fixed. Our mustang is 18 years old, the Ford F150 is 13 years old and so on. We are fortunate that hubby can do most of the work on them himself. Two winters ago, he put a new front end on the truck.
We once had a green pick up truck that did not use unleaded gas. When leaded gas was phased out, it was only a matter of time before it was unusable. So We traded it in and no more than two months later wee got a notice that it was sitting along the road and had thrown a rod. We got the notice because the paper work had not gone through on the new owners yet. So we sold it less than two months before it was "dead"
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 28, 2018 9:22:38 GMT
When I graduated, the dinosaurs were not interested. We had Senior Prom and Jr. Prom and that was all. The party was saved for the going away. We had to leave the island to go to a decent college. Everybody would show up at the airport with leis and all. My plane was more than an hour late in leaving so eventually all went home and we showed back up in the middle of the night to board. the plane.
With the girls, all the high schools would have what was called Project Graduation and everybody, I mean everybody, went to that. It was an all-nighter where the doors were locked and no one could get out or in after a certain time. It was a huge event and the parents worked on it and did fund raisers for it for months. Local businesses would donate prizes for some of the games and refreshments were available all night long. It was supposed to take the place of graduation parties where the kids would get drunk and be in danger from driving while drunk. Basically, it worked as I did not hear of any other grad parties except the family gathering kind,
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 23, 2018 10:20:15 GMT
Isn't it about time to plant onions and potatoes? My inlaws were always planting them in mid winter along with beets. Of course here in Central Texas, we probably will only have one more freeze. Though with this crazy weather, who knows.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 18, 2018 23:15:11 GMT
This is something we have planned on doing for ouor 50th wedding anniversary. Only two more years to go. I am glad to hear of the good experiences some of you have had. But, did not realize they were so expensive. We had better start saving now.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 17, 2018 8:04:47 GMT
I left home at 18 to come to the States for college and stayed with a relative then a room mate for a few months. After that I lived along until getting married at 20. Though, I did have two cats to keep me company.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 16, 2018 4:12:48 GMT
When my girls were that age if they fought over something, sometimes that something became mine no matter who it was purchased for. We did not have a lot of "stuff" so what little they had was important to them. The tattler always got equal punishment of what she was tattling on. So if one tattled on the other whatever discipline was enacted involved both of them. I wanted them to learn to share and to help each other out, not try to get each other in trouble or keep possessions to themselves. If you did not have a good reason for not letting sister use your item and was causing a commotion over it, then you were in the wrong as well. The two were encouraged to work things out and not bring it up the chain of command to the parents.
Basically, they learned to work things out though it took work and a lot of help from me to learn how. But no one said being a parent is easy.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 11, 2018 8:06:22 GMT
Not only is the situations different with your daughter and son, but they are two different people. There comes a time when your children have to learn they are treated according to who they are not how old they are. After a certain age, years don't count. Your daughter wants to do things you don't want her to do. Fine, let her move out and do them. But as long as she is in your home and living on your money, then you get to set the rules. If she was 30 years old you still would not want her to be spending the night with an undesirable. And you can let her know that is what he is in your eyes.
The son't girlfriend staying with you should not be getting a free ride. If she is old enough to have a job and does not want to live with her parents anymore, then she needs to at least try to pay some rent. Being responsible for yourself is the start of adulthood and it sounds like she needs some lessons in adulthood instead of just leaning on your son to take care of her. Have a talk with your son about how he is not helping her by letting her lean on him. She can turn into a leech real fast if encouraged without realizing it. I have seen it happen and it can get ugly fast too. You need to regulate what is happening in your home.
About the little trips, I think I would be a little annoyed about them myself. When you are helping someone out and they are using their money for luxuries like that instead of using that money to build up a nest egg for moving out you begin to feel you are being taken advantage of. I would encourage your son to budget these little trips and limit them. Heck, when was the last time you were able to afford a little trip like that? and I am not talking just about the money but the time. He is having the time of his life - no living expenses, girlfriend who thinks you are her savior living just across the hall and available, and little side trips to make life interesting. If he is living with you, I would suggest you ask for a look at his savings plan. Is he following one? Or is he blowing it all? Because he is using your home under the pretext of saving money, then you should have the right to see said savings.
Its is not easy when daughter carries on about wanting freedoms that she feels she should have. Hang in there, this will not last forever. In another few years they will be both out of the house and own their own.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 11, 2018 7:33:51 GMT
I do believe it starts with counseling and mental health assistance. You cannot MAKE someone take assistance, but you can make it illegal to be vagrant. If a person can not or will not take responsibility for themselves and insist on living "free" they need to learn that "free" is a luxury. Through counseling and mental remediation the ones who just want to milk the system can be weeded out. It would have to be a rigorous and unbiased system that makes being homeless not an option. You either accept help and work towards being self supporting or you accept consequences. For those who need help, there is no ONE answer. You have to look at the individual and figure out how they came to be homeless and take it from there. You do this through health screening, mental health evaluation, and counseling.
Democracy only works when everyone participates. We need to gently and sometimes not so gently lead the homeless to participate in our society and not be a burden.
Don't get me wrong. I believe there are homeless people out there who really want help and NEED help and they probably are the majority of the homeless we have. But we have to do something about those who just want to opt out and live on the streets and then expect society to take care of them with no strings when the going gets tough.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 3, 2018 9:02:51 GMT
My husband is nine years older than me. I was 20 years old when we married, he was 29. We have been married for 47 years now and still counting. I feel he actually finished raising me LOL. I was a very young, naive 20 year old.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jan 1, 2018 1:34:09 GMT
I pray at the time and later. Sometimes, when I know of someone going through really difficult issues, I will keep a little flameless candle going and whenever I glance at it I will pray. I keep it near me wherever I am working for the day.
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 31, 2017 10:33:47 GMT
It may not be a popular opinion, but it sounds to me like you all need an intervention of some sorts for your in-laws, parents, grandparents, etc. Bad food can kill, especially the elderly who get dehydrated, disoriented and unable to take care of themselves at the best of times or unwilling to ask for help. Get documentation about families that have become ill from unsafe food, do some research and discuss facts, not urban legends. When food spoils, it emits toxins that are not neutralized by any kind of boiling or cooking. Foods with proteins in them that have been on the table for over two hours are not safe.
That being said, outdated food is not the same as unsafe food. Check to see what kinds of food are still safe even though they are outdated. You would be surprised at how much outdated food can be eaten without any adverse side effects. This is part of the problem. People confuse outdated food with unsafe food and don't really pay attention to the dates because they ate other outdated food without any issues. The dates generally refers to the quality of the food and not the safety.
Of course you all know this, but you need to educate your family. How would you feel if one of them got really sick from eating food that you knew they should not eat? Yet you are fearful of hurting their feelings. A common sense, matter of fact discussion with them with reference material and historical evidence to back up your conversation is called for in my opinion. You say it is not your business. But, it should be if you love them.
Many elderly have emotional issues about throwing away food. You need to address those issues - perhaps make it a birthday present to them to help then toss and purge and restock with quantities that can be used in in a reasonable time frame. Or maybe you can help them make menus with smaller portions. There are ways you can help. AND it will not be a quick fix, I can tell you right now. They will backslide, they will balk and they will fight tooth and nail. But, you have to lead them to safe food practices anyway you can, one step at a time if that is what it takes.
{OK getting off my soapbox now}
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 30, 2017 9:42:59 GMT
![Skittles](http://scrappycats.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/skittles-300x225.jpg) Here is Skittles in a bag. She loves to climb into bags, who cares if they belong to a stranger or are full! ![](http://scrappycats.com/blog/?attachment_id=1174)
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 30, 2017 9:31:11 GMT
LOL - saw your title and thought of the wreck on I35 yesterday. A semi carrying avocados overturned and caught on fire. Now there was some toasted avocados. ![:D](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/grin.png)
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 27, 2017 7:35:13 GMT
So sorry, Mother Nature can be horrible at times. It is so hard to lose a pet, we don't get to have them very long as it is.
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 26, 2017 7:11:55 GMT
The way I see it, she saved you some time and effort. Let her get the photos off Facebook from now on. Why not? Also, if that was something she could have done from the beginning why did she not do it that way instead of first trying to get you involved?
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 20, 2017 8:36:37 GMT
I had those symptoms with a pinched nerve in my neck. PT worked it out with heating pads, and massage. This really is not something to wait on. Perhaps, you can call doctor's office and get an emergency referral to a neurologist for some testing before you leave. You do not want permanent nerve damage because you have to be out of town for a month. I suppose the traveling cannot wait a week?
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