Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 23:29:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2019 16:40:50 GMT
Say you are an IG/YT/Social influencer. You pimp your life out to strangers. 99% of the time everything is perfect, awe inspiring, everyone will want to be like me, eat what I eat, dress the way I do, use the products I "use".
Then poop hits the fan. And instead of taking time away, you share the bad. With super long written, hashtaged posts and sob worthy photos.
This event would most likely cause a normal IG user to step away and deal with the bad. But not someone who uses their family to make money.
I have personally been hit with severe medical emergencies. I didn't get on FB (only platform back then) and post photos of my son on life saving equipment. I didn't post long, drawn out posts or even use hashtags. I would send a quick email update to immediate family before I went to sleep and that was it.
After things calmed down and things improved I sent a photo of my ds sitting up free of most lines.
I took photos but only for me in case that was the last photo I would ever get. I didn't think it was appropriate to post photos of my child with a ton of medical equipment on and not awake. That is his personal story.
What do you all think of these influencers?
Do you think it is okay to post photos of your very sick child like that over social media?
I understand wanting prayers and positive thoughts. But do you need to post your child's photos to do so?
Then you have all these people setting up gift p.o. boxes for the family.
Is privacy a thing of the past? Do these parents not care to protect their children? Their personal story?
Having been there twice, I don't get it.
Curious what the peas think.
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
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Post by ashley on Dec 28, 2019 16:42:23 GMT
I feel like people can’t win. They’re roasted for only being positive and then vilified for sharing the pain of real life.
You do you, let her do her??
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:29:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2019 16:49:39 GMT
Sure, she can do her. And I choose to keep my son's medical trauma private. But I can also discus it. It is a free world and free 2 peas after all right?
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
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Post by ashley on Dec 28, 2019 16:51:00 GMT
And I was discussing it, but all your post did was say that she doesn’t care about “protecting” her child’s illness or privacy.
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Post by smalltowngirlie on Dec 28, 2019 16:52:44 GMT
I feel there is a difference between an influencer sharing all the ups and downs of life and sharing every detail, and at times graphic details of your life. Posting the more graphic pictures probably ups their count and that is what they are going for. Sharing their story without the picture is not as dramatic.
There is a generation of children growing up with every part of their life online, almost a modern day version of the "child star". Some will grow up just fine, others will not be able to function without the attention, and any attention (good or bad) is good attention.
In this case people can do what they want, they will need to live with any consequences.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,792
Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Dec 28, 2019 16:54:12 GMT
I get what you are saying, I rarely share personal stuff on social media, my FB is very boring, and no way would I be sharing stuff like that with complete strangers. But....everyone processes life events differently, maybe sharing the negative stuff, with the resulting responses from followers, helps her to deal with traumatic situations.
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Post by mustlovecats on Dec 28, 2019 16:59:31 GMT
I think the problem really is that when you are an influencer, everything is content. Even if what you are trying to do is share the real and raw, it is still content because this is still your livelihood and that is still your product.
I’m not upset by people sharing tough stuff. My own instagram has a picture of my dad in music therapy yesterday. He is in a nursing home and has had 12 strokes. Ain’t pretty. But I am not an influencer and my insta is not my product. I feel a little strengthened by the community I have found following my dads strokes. Social media isn’t evil and sharing isn’t evil.
I think it’s when there is income attached to everything that it’s a problem. This may also matter whether you trust influencers or not, I really really don’t.
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Post by roundtwo on Dec 28, 2019 16:59:57 GMT
I have a really really hard time with people posting pictures of people who are not old enough or well enough to give their consent. It's out there for ever and the subject of these pictures had no choice in how their story is told.
I am fine with telling the story and asking for support if that is what you need but the pictures are off limits. When the child is well enough or old enough and wants to share, they can make the choice to post their story.
For me personally, I think my children's privacy is just as important as my own and would never do anything on social media that involves them without their consent. I rarely ever post anything on social media, good, bad or otherwise because I am a pretty private person and I think I can count on one hand how many pictures I have posted of my family members over the past decade or so.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:29:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2019 17:02:41 GMT
The lines of appropriateness have definitely been skewed. People will pay a price for over sharing in the future in ways they can’t even suspect today.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Dec 28, 2019 17:10:46 GMT
I think for me it comes down to intention. And intention is oftentimes very hard to judge. If I share my story to help you, my intention is good. If I share my story because I need emotional support, my intention is understandable. If I share my story for money, that's where it crosses the line for me. And I say this completely as someone who has toyed with the idea of a mental health podcast. Why? Because I feel like people could benefit from that. I could benefit from something like that. And I see a need in the market. But I could never afford to invest the kind of time and effort I would need to in order to deliver a quality product without monetizing it. And for me, that is holding me back.
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Post by cadoodlebug on Dec 28, 2019 17:12:34 GMT
As a 71 year old, until a year ago I didn't even know what an *influencer* was. Now I hear that young children, when asked what they want to be when they grow up, is an influencer. SMH. I truly don't get it.
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Enna
Full Member
Posts: 300
Location: PNW
Jan 26, 2016 14:55:35 GMT
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Post by Enna on Dec 28, 2019 17:27:53 GMT
Last few days one mom I follow on Youtube & Insta has been sharing her sons heartbreaking story.
I have mixed feelings. I personally wouldn't share moments like that, but I don't judge her for doing that. She would get questions, if she kept quiet, it is not like people wouldn't notice. She probably gets strenght from prayers and thoughts, and she really needs them now.
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Post by myshelly on Dec 28, 2019 17:37:28 GMT
I think you’re projecting a lot.
You clearly have a view that privacy equals protection and you want everyone else to have that view. Why?
Not everyone has to have the same values and opinions.
I can absolutely see how it would be comforting and therapeutic to write out what you’re going through for others to see. So that they can understand and offer support whether that support is positive thoughts/prayers, an email or text, a gift, a meal train, a visit, or even money. I think that when people are in a tough situation we don’t get to judge how they choose to deal with it. Let them do whatever makes them feel better.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:29:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2019 17:41:47 GMT
I cringe when I see this type of thing (i.e. people posting photos of friends/family who are in the hospital who are in their final days) and often wonder if that person even knows or wants their images and stories shared in this manner. I do find it disturbing that the person, who is the subject, might not have a say as I’m a fairly private person and would not want to have someone do that to me. Unfortunately, I think some don’t understand the role they’ve been placed in and/or may be unsuspecting participants. While I don’t agree with that, someone sharing their obvious grief, regardless of the audience numbers, is tolerable. Someone doing it just for more likes/hits? Well karma is a bi$ch.
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Post by pierkiss on Dec 28, 2019 18:04:01 GMT
I think there are ways to share images of scary/tragic things about your kids and family on Instagram without graphic/super detailed photos. For example, you were uncomfortable sharing a picture of your son hooked up to his machines. I assume you took a full body photo of him like that, which shows everything he was hooked up to (I know I would for a variety of reasons). But I wouldn’t post that photo. That one would be just for me. But I might take a close up of an in going into his hand? Or a picture of his toes peeking out of the end of his hospital bed, or a picture of just the iv stand with the wall in the background. I would post something like that, with a quick little blurb that gets the point across without all the details. You can share without sharing everything. Your fans could still follow along with your story without knowing all the personal details that go along with it.
But I’m not a social media influencer. I’m also pretty careful about what I attach my kids names to on my Facebook and Instagram pages. No way would I want some post about my daughter being he most difficult to potty train kid ever popping up on a google search when she’s applying for a job. 😂
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Post by nlwilkins on Dec 28, 2019 18:22:29 GMT
Remember when scrapbooking was a major part of our lives? We took photos of everything to scrap. We even arranged outings so we could have photos. Our daily lives were documented in our scrapbooks. To me this is just a continuation of that. It is a way of documenting what is going on in our lives. I don't do it, but there are others who do and it is not about the money. They feel they are perhaps helping someone who might be going through the same thing. Or they are documenting their family story for the family. I know that this is not exactly what you are talking about, but to me what you are talking about is an outgrowth of that.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 23:29:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2019 18:22:45 GMT
I think the problem really is that when you are an influencer, everything is content. Even if what you are trying to do is share the real and raw, it is still content because this is still your livelihood and that is still your product. I’m not upset by people sharing tough stuff. My own instagram has a picture of my dad in music therapy yesterday. He is in a nursing home and has had 12 strokes. Ain’t pretty. But I am not an influencer and my insta is not my product. I feel a little strengthened by the community I have found following my dads strokes. Social media isn’t evil and sharing isn’t evil. I think it’s when there is income attached to everything that it’s a problem. This may also matter whether you trust influencers or not, I really really don’t. Music therapy is so great! I have a friend with a master’s degree in it and a doctorate in child psychiatric forensics. Music is his language for treatment.
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kelly8875
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,407
Location: Lost in my supplies...
Oct 26, 2014 17:02:56 GMT
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Post by kelly8875 on Dec 28, 2019 18:31:22 GMT
Remember when scrapbooking was a major part of our lives? We took photos of everything to scrap. We even arranged outings so we could have photos. Our daily lives were documented in our scrapbooks. To me this is just a continuation of that. It is a way of documenting what is going on in our lives. I don't do it, but there are others who do and it is not about the money. They feel they are perhaps helping someone who might be going through the same thing. Or they are documenting their family story for the family. I know that this is not exactly what you are talking about, but to me what you are talking about is an outgrowth of that. This. I know so many moms that put all these naked pictures of their little kids, potty pictures, bathtub pictures, etc in their scrapbooks. The new way to do this is via Facebook/instagram or whatever. I try not to put anything on that may embarrass someone later. And if it’s not my child, I always ask the parent if I can post a picture (like my small little cousins) Just because other people want to share and get whatever feeling they get from it, doesn’t make it wrong.
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Post by elaine on Dec 28, 2019 18:35:02 GMT
As a 71 year old, until a year ago I didn't even know what an *influencer* was. Now I hear that young children, when asked what they want to be when they grow up, is an influencer. SMH. I truly don't get it. I’m a OK, Boomer too, because I can’t think of anything more trite/shallow than being an influencer. But, if that floats their boats, more power to them. The blame really belongs on the hoards of followers. If there wasn’t a large easily-influenced audience reading every word, and advertisers wanting to reach those readers, there wouldn’t be influencers sharing too much.
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Post by freecharlie on Dec 28, 2019 18:51:48 GMT
As a 71 year old, until a year ago I didn't even know what an *influencer* was. Now I hear that young children, when asked what they want to be when they grow up, is an influencer. SMH. I truly don't get it. as a 43 year old I didn't know until students explained it to me earlier this year. I find it to be pretty repulsive personally, but whatever. Children and teens should not be forced into it I also have never watched any of the "reality" shows...Duggars, Kardashians, jersey people, real housewives, pregnant teens or any of those. I find them distasteful as well. ETA: the peas are all the influencers I need
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QueenoftheSloths
Drama Llama
Member Since January 2004, 2,698 forum posts PeaNut Number: 122614 PeaBoard Title: StuckOnPeas
Posts: 5,955
Jun 26, 2014 0:29:24 GMT
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on Dec 28, 2019 18:53:02 GMT
Using a child's illness to make money, whether directly (donations) or indirectly (increase in followers) has a definite "ick factor" for me.
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,082
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Dec 28, 2019 18:57:03 GMT
Sort of a spinoff but is this about baby Crew Leech???
If it is do you know what happened to him??? I dont follow his mom anywhere.... but several people that i do follow on ig have been sending up prayers n thoughts...
I know its kinda rude... and im just being nosey n the pics ive seen i feel bad for that poor baby...
But did he fall or something???
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Enna
Full Member
Posts: 300
Location: PNW
Jan 26, 2016 14:55:35 GMT
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Post by Enna on Dec 28, 2019 19:02:55 GMT
Baby Crew was taking a nap and when his mom went to check on him, he wasn't breathing.
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Post by gar on Dec 28, 2019 19:06:08 GMT
I have a relative who is an influencer. It’s not my cup of tea but wow does she live a very privileged life, with far flung luxury travel often as her ‘fee’- I can see how it’d be hard to resist that as your income rather than being a teacher or a pen pusher or whatever.
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,082
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Dec 28, 2019 19:19:45 GMT
Baby Crew was taking a nap and when her mom went to check on him, he wasn't breathing. Thanks Enna i was wondering... thats really sad...
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Post by refugeepea on Dec 28, 2019 19:21:41 GMT
I took photos but only for me in case that was the last photo I would ever get. I didn't think it was appropriate to post photos of my child with a ton of medical equipment on and not awake. That is his personal story. I totally understand. My son is cognitively a toddler in many ways, about 5 feet tall at 11 years old, and extremely active. I've shared good things, and rarely the bad stuff. My oldest told me a few years ago he doesn't want me posting any photos of him or mention him on Facebook and I respect his request. My daughter is okay with a few photos and she doesn't want to be tagged.
We went to an event with the Shaytards (how I HATE that name) a few years ago. My daughter was a fan at the time. One of their daughters looked absolutely miserable. Maybe it was an off day, but I wondered if they were given a choice. That's what bothers me the most.
Let the instagrammers do their thing, but I feel for the kids who have no say. Everyone knows deleted posts don't ever go away.
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Post by refugeepea on Dec 28, 2019 19:23:47 GMT
I think it’s when there is income attached to everything that it’s a problem. This may also matter whether you trust influencers or not, I really really don’t.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Dec 28, 2019 19:41:54 GMT
Does anyone remember MckMama? Jennifer McKinney, I think. She went viral because she posted photos of her son at a time she claimed he was coding or something.
I remember thinking it was odd that she was tweeting photos of her possibly dying son, for many reasons.
I think it says a lot about a person if they choose to monetize a child's illness and/or death.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Dec 28, 2019 19:46:40 GMT
I think for me it comes down to intention. And intention is oftentimes very hard to judge. If I share my story to help you, my intention is good. If I share my story because I need emotional support, my intention is understandable. If I share my story for money, that's where it crosses the line for me. And I say this completely as someone who has toyed with the idea of a mental health podcast. Why? Because I feel like people could benefit from that. I could benefit from something like that. And I see a need in the market. But I could never afford to invest the kind of time and effort I would need to in order to deliver a quality product without monetizing it. And for me, that is holding me back. The difference for me is that you are an adult who would be making the choice to share your illness and its impact on your life. If you can monetize that, you should. Most of the children in these situations cannot, or did not, consent.
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Post by peasapie on Dec 28, 2019 20:03:46 GMT
It's an interesting question.
Maybe some influencers look at their audience in the same way early-day bloggers did - sharing their life's ups and downs and actually feeling like they have a relationship with their audience and a responsibility to be honest about their lives - as if they are in a relationship with their readers.
It would be nightmarish for me to have my life on display all the time, but I guess influencers enjoy or need that spotlight.
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