gina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,305
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:16 GMT
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Post by gina on Dec 30, 2019 20:59:27 GMT
This thread leaves a pretty bad taste in my mouth. How absolutely vile to judge someone whose baby just DIED. Gross. the OP did say that her original post was not about this particular situation, but about some other influencer... baby Crew's death was brought up by someone else farther along in the thread. No. And then she went and addressed that one as well saying "After seeing her 3 photos and stories she gives off a bad vibe to me too.". Again I say, gross.
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,082
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Dec 30, 2019 22:34:01 GMT
I am the one who mentioned baby Crew and his mom Britni... i feel really guilty for doing that... i didnt follow her and still dont... but i have seen lots of postings back to her because i follow a lot of planners...
And i should have known we would be talking about the way she chooses to share her journey but i didnt think it would get so ugly... and i feel really bad bringing her name here!!
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,812
Jun 26, 2014 1:20:09 GMT
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Post by Just T on Dec 30, 2019 22:38:50 GMT
I freely admit I'm judgemental, but I think influencers are gross. I don't follow any. It's capitalism at its most squicky; using your family as props to get free shit. Keep it. ETA: I know nothing about this situation with some influencer and her deceased child. That's a tragedy. I don't think influencers are gross, but I sure don't get them. LOL There is one gal I don't follow, but I do look at her IG page sometimes. She is young, pretty, and pretty much all she does is post about her outfits, where you can get them, her beauty routine, her gorgeous house, and mostly, all of her traveling. I don't think she has a real job, but good golly, she travels somewhere in the world almost every week. She has a cute husband, gorgeous girlfriends, a pretty mom, they all travel, and it looks like she leads a pretty cushy life. But then I saw something from her the other day about how she is ready for 2020 because 2019 was a difficult year. I know things aren't always what people put on social media, but dang. LOL I do wonder what will happen to these influencers when either IG becomes obsolete or people stop caring about influencers, or they grow old and aren't so perky and cute anymore. LOL
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 21:21:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2019 0:34:20 GMT
I definitely don’t understand influencers. I consider it a totally worthless and unfulfilling lifestyle; having your self esteem tied into number of likes must be torture. And I really don’t get a grieving mom posting such tragic photos on social media. I totally get why she wants and needs them for herself and her family, but I’m clueless why she needs to share them with people she doesn’t even know.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 21:21:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2019 0:55:34 GMT
Plus telling everyone which store she was in shopping for the dress she was going to wear to her son's funeral was pretty tasteless as well. Really? Where does it end?
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Post by tuva42 on Dec 31, 2019 1:52:26 GMT
Last few days one mom I follow on Youtube & Insta has been sharing her sons heartbreaking story. I have mixed feelings. I personally wouldn't share moments like that, but I don't judge her for doing that. She would get questions, if she kept quiet, it is not like people wouldn't notice. She probably gets strenght from prayers and thoughts, and she really needs them now. I think I have seen that mom's posts. What seemed odd to me was that at least one of the photos seemed posed. It was a photo of her, clearly grieving. My heart breaks for her and her family, but I felt odd seeing a photo that she clearly posed for. I realize she was sharing her pain, but it seemed strange too me. Probably because I'm older (59) and I've spent much more of my adult life not sharing on social media than I have sharing. It feels foreign to me to share my deepest pain with strangers. All that being said, we all grieve in our own ways, we deal with pain in our own ways. She is flooded with wonderful responses to her posts and that may lift her up and help her deal. So I will keep my judgy-ness to myself and just feel horrible for her for what she is going through.
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Post by scrappintoee on Jan 3, 2020 21:33:20 GMT
stupid woman crying on Instagram about the fact that photos of her “least cute” child didn’t garner as many likes as his cuter siblings. OMG! CRYING? I feel VERY sorry for her children !!! I would NEVER, EVER CRY over that, BUT......I did realize something about myself that I didn't like, so I took a lonnnng break from Facebook (I'm rarely ever on Instagram, but IF I did this same thing there, I'd also take a long break / stop posting there, too!) What I realized was that I was getting disappointed / angry when I'd post something that *I* thought was cute or funny, but got very few likes/ loves. I'd tell DH "omg, no one even bothered to click "like"/ "love" this adorable pik of our cute niece---yet----so and so's niece piks got 35 likes and loves.....how can that be?" I knew my comparisons were unhealthy, stupid, and a waste of time, soooo, that's when my break started! Then, to make it worse, I'd be looking at friends or other family member's piks, and see that theirs got LOTS of likes/ loves. Nope, I had to stop posting if I was taking it THAT seriously. It was VERY good that I stopped----very freeing! Personally I feel like many influencers present forth a "staged" life, one cannot be sure that is who they really are, or who they are presenting themselves to be in order to generate an income. I always struggle with that. For me, facebook has been for happy/ light topics. If I post alllll the things that I'm GRATEFUL for (I don't mean material things)---but piks of our precious doggies, my cute hubby, our adorable nieces and nephews), I wonder if it seems braggy or that I'm trying to "prove" to people that I do truly think my hubbs is the cutest, etc. But then it comes down to----WHY do I even care what anyone thinks? I LOVE seeing my friends and family's happy piks! One time I posted a pik of allll the Christmas goodies I'd made----because it's FUN and I love to see everyone else's too!) and a "friend" of mine commented that I was a show-off. Gee....thanks! But---again----I shouldn't care what ONE cynical person said. Ugh......so that's ANOTHER reason I took a lonnnng break from Facebook. A few times, I HAVE posted very heartfelt, SAD things, such as grieving my baby brother, the death of our foster doggies, etc. and I like getting the support, but I also know some people are very uncomfy with grief and/or wonder why I'm posting publicly.
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Post by scrappintoee on Jan 3, 2020 21:40:58 GMT
I forgot to say that I was THRILLED and HAPPY when I read a SURPRIZINGLY honest post on facebook last year. My friend's daughter always posts about their 3 adorable children, her thriving business, howwww much she adores her DH, their gorgeous house, awesome vacations, etc.
She has also mentioned MANY times that she is proud to be supporting her family of five with her personal business (which she did completely on her own----kudos to her! I'm thrilled for her!!!!) And that they wanted her to be the sole breadwinner in order for her DH to leave a 9-5 job he hated so he could persue a lifelong, (non-paying) dream. Again----I'm very happy for them, I don't consider it bragging-- I think it's great!)
The SURPRISE post I mentioned above was when she wrote about how she wanted to be honest. She mentioned the cute kids, the house, the vacations, etc. BUT, she said behind allll my happy photos, DH and I went through a painful separation, which has resolved, and they're fine now. She said a bit more, but that was the jist. I gave her huge props for being honest, that I knew it wasn't easy for her to admit it, and that I wish MORE people would do that, instead of "life is perrrrfect" posts.
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Post by mom on Jun 17, 2020 21:08:58 GMT
Thought I'd share that Brittani (the influencer in this discussion who's child passed away supposedly from unsafe sleeping at Christmas) is now pregnant with baby boy #5. She is about 18 weeks from what I tell. She announced int awhile back that she was pregnant again and today announced its another boy.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Jun 17, 2020 21:20:20 GMT
I don’t think it is just influencers. Some people want to share every little bit of their lives and thrive on the attention they get—whether they post is positive or negative. I have some FB friends that never post but then when their kid is sick or has a broken bone, they are there posting pics of the sick/hurt kid. I have other friends that contstsntlu post things that seem attention seeking—about their own health, groping about neighbors, pics of themselves with captions like “I’m at my heaviest but I feel more confident in my body, blah blah blah (but in person she is constantly complaining about her weight) and looking for compliments or sympathy.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Jun 17, 2020 21:58:00 GMT
I forgot to say that I was THRILLED and HAPPY when I read a SURPRIZINGLY honest post on facebook last year. My friend's daughter always posts about their 3 adorable children, her thriving business, howwww much she adores her DH, their gorgeous house, awesome vacations, etc. She has also mentioned MANY times that she is proud to be supporting her family of five with her personal business (which she did completely on her own----kudos to her! I'm thrilled for her!!!!) And that they wanted her to be the sole breadwinner in order for her DH to leave a 9-5 job he hated so he could persue a lifelong, (non-paying) dream. Again----I'm very happy for them, I don't consider it bragging-- I think it's great!) The SURPRISE post I mentioned above was when she wrote about how she wanted to be honest. She mentioned the cute kids, the house, the vacations, etc. BUT, she said behind allll my happy photos, DH and I went through a painful separation, which has resolved, and they're fine now. She said a bit more, but that was the jist. I gave her huge props for being honest, that I knew it wasn't easy for her to admit it, and that I wish MORE people would do that, instead of "life is perrrrfect" posts. Usually when people post about how their “personal business” supports the family or allows them to do/buy things it is because they want you to join their mlm.
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scrappinmama
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,021
Member is Online
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Jun 17, 2020 23:37:18 GMT
I think for me it comes down to intention. And intention is oftentimes very hard to judge. If I share my story to help you, my intention is good. If I share my story because I need emotional support, my intention is understandable. If I share my story for money, that's where it crosses the line for me. And I say this completely as someone who has toyed with the idea of a mental health podcast. Why? Because I feel like people could benefit from that. I could benefit from something like that. And I see a need in the market. But I could never afford to invest the kind of time and effort I would need to in order to deliver a quality product without monetizing it. And for me, that is holding me back. I agree with this. People often share stories to build awareness. You never know who will read it and some day be in your shoes. Or maybe they are currently struggling and might find what someone in a similar circumstance as helpful to them. On the other hand if you are asking people to swipe up and buy from your links while you are posting about losing a loved one for example, I find that troubling and in poor taste. Obviously I'm late to this party and only responding after several months.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,891
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jun 17, 2020 23:43:14 GMT
My daughter is friendly with a teenage influencer. She has thousands of followers and carries a heavy weight because of it. She is judged by how she looks, but she and her mother put her out there based on how she looks. She counts her followers constantly and has tied her self-worth to who commented what, how many follow her etc... She's a hot mess and it's a disaster, in my opinion. Worst decision they ever made for this lovely girl.
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Post by scrappintoee on Jun 17, 2020 23:46:27 GMT
Usually when people post about how their “personal business” supports the family or allows them to do/buy things it is because they want you to join their mlm. Nope--- I HATE MLM posts, and I can see why you'd think that. But in her case, her business is photography that she runs by herself---absolutely no MLM. She also is NOT an "influencer" in any way--I wouldn't read her posts if she were. She was just sharing a personal hardship, and I think she was just trying to encourage people that they can also get through hard times. ------------------------------------------------------ OP---sorry for the hijack! All this mommy vlogging is out of hand! The children have NO CHOICE!
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Jun 18, 2020 0:01:34 GMT
I think sometimes sharing bad stuff, for example medical stuff can be a good thing for others to share.
But if it’s obvious pimping out the sick kid, then nope.
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peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,390
Aug 16, 2014 23:15:53 GMT
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Post by peaname on Jun 18, 2020 1:16:47 GMT
Clearly I’m not the intended audience but I always feel sad for people who choose this life. I can’t imagine feeling like my every move is judged and feeling the pressure to produce content. The moms are the worst though they are going to wake up one day and realize they missed their kids’ childhood by inviting the public in.
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pinklady
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,922
Nov 14, 2016 23:47:03 GMT
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Post by pinklady on Jun 18, 2020 1:26:07 GMT
My daughter is friendly with a teenage influencer. She has thousands of followers and carries a heavy weight because of it. She is judged by how she looks, but she and her mother put her out there based on how she looks. She counts her followers constantly and has tied her self-worth to who commented what, how many follow her etc... She's a hot mess and it's a disaster, in my opinion. Worst decision they ever made for this lovely girl. I’m curious, what are your daughters thoughts about the girl and her influencing? Has your daughter tried to become an influencer. I can see it being very enticing for a young girl. How do you handle it as a mom? I can’t imagine trying to raise kids in the times of social media. More power to you!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 21:21:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2020 3:46:12 GMT
Whatever stories people use to justify sharing, NONE of those stories justify sharing our kids' lives online - unless it's truly just to a small circle of family/friends in locked down IGs or FBs. Yesterday's NYT oped: Should Any Parents Be Instagramming Their Kids?"The Stauffers started to post about their quest to adopt a child from China — or in YouTube-speak, their “emotional adoption” journey — in 2016. They brought home the 2½-year-old boy they named Huxley in October of 2017 and began posting videos about life with their new toddler and the challenges of parenting a child with autism and a sensory processing disorder. The emotional journey was also a lucrative one: From 2017 to 2018, the audience for Myka Stauffer’s channel doubled, and she was able to turn those numbers into deals with brands like Dreft and Glossier, fancy vacations, luxury cars and a new four-bedroom, 5,700-square-foot home. But by early 2020, viewers noticed that Huxley had disappeared from family videos. Late last month, Myka and James posted a video in which they tearfully explained that they were ill equipped to handle Huxley’s challenges. There were vague allusions to the safety of their other kids and the confession that they’d found Huxley a new home, with a new family. Cue the outrage. The scandal has prompted debates about international adoptions, about whether a second home can ever be in an adopted child’s best interest, about racism and white saviorism — all valid and important. But the piece that has stuck with me is the question of whether anyone’s children — influencer’s or not — belong on a parent’s social media feed at all.... We are undeniably living in a sad and frightened time. Now, more than ever, children on social media are a bright spot, offering respite, comic relief, connection with far-off friends and sheltering-in-place relatives, even hope for the future. But it’s true that so many of us have gotten used to posting and consuming and sharing those images constantly, endlessly and thoughtlessly. Maybe, at the very least, we should be giving it a little more thought." www.nytimes.com/2020/06/16/opinion/myka-stauffer-children-social-media.html
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 21:21:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 18, 2020 4:06:24 GMT
I wonder if the SIP orders will be the downfall of "influencers?"
Many are starting to be called out for the way they treat their kids, the mom's narcissistic behaviors, their views on the LGBTQ+ community, their stance on BLM and thoughts on POC, and how they force the camera in their kids faces.
8 Passengers is just one family.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Jun 18, 2020 4:13:08 GMT
I agree that some people overshare on social media. I've seen friends post their kids grades (high schoolers), their favorite foods and food patterns, how clean or messy their rooms are, and a lot of other embarrassing things. My own kids are picky about what they allow me to share or not. They would be mortified if I posted about any of those things.
I enjoy seeing appropriate posts about the kids of my friends and family members. For a lot of them, that is the main interaction we have and I would know very little about them if it wasn't for Facebook. So I wouldn't say that people should never post about their kids, but they should be discerning about what they are sharing.
As for influencers...I have a friend who is trying to be an influencer. She turns every outing into a photo shoot (and I have no doubt that many of the outings are just to advertise for a local business or to create a post). She has a business (helping businesses with their social media growth) and sells two or three MLM products. For example, she has "tea parties" with her DD that include several types of scones, fancy hat and dress, etc. The other day she posted about a "spa party" with her 3 yo DD to sell a facemask for one of her MLM companies. They were both dressed in robes, scones, fruit and other snacks in the pic, curlers in their hair. I am really curious how these experiences go IRL. Do they actually have a sweet spa day, and her work to get the photo shoot also added the experience for her and her DD? Or does it just devolve into washing their face and going to bed? lol The DD already does the hands on hip, let out pose for her pics. Both of her kids are always perfectly dressed (so is the mom, she is naturally someone who will wear high heels at all times, so that probably isn't out of the norm for her. I just find it interesting that the kids still go along with her choosing the clothes the way she does). In some ways her posts are cute and in other ways they can be disturbing.
ETA that I do follow some influencers, particularly those in the beauty or fashion industry. I don't really follow mommy bloggers so I haven't seen people ripping them apart.
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Post by maryland on Jun 18, 2020 4:14:56 GMT
Clearly I’m not the intended audience but I always feel sad for people who choose this life. I can’t imagine feeling like my every move is judged and feeling the pressure to produce content. The moms are the worst though they are going to wake up one day and realize they missed their kids’ childhood by inviting the public in. That's why I love a cleaning channel called The Six Silvas. She is so nice and she doesn't do too many videos because her family comes first. She hasn't had a video since Christmas or around winter and she says she won't do more until her kids go to school in the fall. She does it because she enjoys it, not to get subscribers and sponsorers.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,891
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jun 18, 2020 11:07:43 GMT
My daughter is friendly with a teenage influencer. She has thousands of followers and carries a heavy weight because of it. She is judged by how she looks, but she and her mother put her out there based on how she looks. She counts her followers constantly and has tied her self-worth to who commented what, how many follow her etc... She's a hot mess and it's a disaster, in my opinion. Worst decision they ever made for this lovely girl. I’m curious, what are your daughters thoughts about the girl and her influencing? Has your daughter tried to become an influencer. I can see it being very enticing for a young girl. How do you handle it as a mom? I can’t imagine trying to raise kids in the times of social media. More power to you! My daughter feels badly for her - this girl is stunningly beautiful but is anxious and depressed. My daughter thinks it's incredible that this girl's IG feed is filled with other girls writing "I want to be like you, you're so beautiful" etc... and she's miserable. My daughter? An influencer? No. She's not interested at all.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,137
Jul 1, 2014 20:20:18 GMT
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Post by rickmer on Jun 18, 2020 12:30:19 GMT
i think it's gross using your kids like that... period. i feel for kids that are constantly primped and pimped out on their parents' (okay 90% of the time mom's) page hoping to get some sponsor or free laminate easy click flooring
people have every right to do what they want "but my daughter *loves* it!! it's "our time".... they aren't always gonna feel that way. my DD is 19 and horrified at her super cute little bob haircut when she was 3. that shouldn't have to be "out there" without her say. to say nothing of an ill child at their most vulnerable and fighting for their life. that is their own journey and i feel parents should respect their kids privacy.
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