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Post by 50offscrapper on Dec 29, 2019 7:24:49 GMT
Not all influencers 'put it all out there'. Some are just photographed wearing the clothes/jewellery/soaking up the sun in this or that resort...whatever...it's not necessarily 100% reveal all aspects of your life. That I totally get! Somehow I found a middle aged lady living in Paris. She does fashion posts. I find her absolutely intriguing! Half of the stuff I wouldn't or couldn't pull off. I love how she exudes confidence. What’s her name?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 21:23:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2019 8:45:12 GMT
Ok so if the OP is about Baby Crew, I don’t see in the moms posts that’s she is seeking funds or using her baby for monetary gain. I see a terrified mom asking for prayers to the audience she knows she has in her followers. Up above I said it was about a different influencer. I didn't know about baby C until later today. Someone did point out though that her photos were edited via lightbox and whatnot. Who does that?! After seeing her 3 photos and stories she gives off a bad vibe to me too. Her baby died yet you're still choosing to judge her because it isn't what you'd do or want. That gives me a bad vibe about you I'm afraid to say.
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Post by jassy on Dec 29, 2019 14:17:23 GMT
I think we are on the precipice of this whole "influencer" thing being blown apart. Many of the early bloggers (who now focus on IG) have kids who are coming to age. I am here for all the tell-all books coming our way.
Making a living by monetizing your family's existence is so bizarre to me. The laws need to catch up - for child actors you have the Coogan Act which puts limitations on hours worked and makes sure child actors are fairly compensated. In the IG business, everything is in the the "stage mom's" hands and nothing is regulated. Some of these kids are unknowingly working to make a lot of money for their families and there are no laws to make sure their parents put away money for them.
The issue of privacy is a big one. And safety too. There are people I used to follow where I swear to God casually following I knew so much about their children - their nicknames, their hobbies/interests, their city, where they went to school, the layout of their freaking house. That is so scary. And then the influencers who have their kids talk to their online "friends" (ie strangers) in their stories.
Many influencers don't seem all that concerned about protecting their children.
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Post by sawwhet on Dec 29, 2019 14:41:22 GMT
I find the whole "influencer" thing bizarre anyway. I don't follow anyone like that on instagram. Anytime I see the over processed bright "white" photos with all white furniture in the background, I pass.
As for this lady, I just checked out her instagram. It's absolutely heart wrenching and it wouldn't be my choice to have my dying child on instagram. For her, instagram is such a big part of her life so it's probably natural.
I can't help but think about the dialogue that's going on. Today, there is a picture of this mother on the floor in total distress as her baby dies. Think about it, "honey, can you take my photo as I sit here in total despair"? Okay, it looks good, can you run it through a filter and post to instagram? Thanks. I'll write a paragraph about how our baby is dying.
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Post by mncmom on Dec 29, 2019 14:46:27 GMT
There is a gofundme page for Crew. It was at $95,000 this morning.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Dec 29, 2019 15:00:59 GMT
Ok so if the OP is about Baby Crew, I don’t see in the moms posts that’s she is seeking funds or using her baby for monetary gain. I see a terrified mom asking for prayers to the audience she knows she has in her followers. She did in her stories (not the regular feed) yesterday...they expire after so many hours so maybe that’s why you didn’t see it.
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Post by refugeepea on Dec 29, 2019 15:36:00 GMT
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Post by rst on Dec 29, 2019 16:04:30 GMT
I think about it from the perspective of the medical professionals trying to care for a child with critical illness, who have to work around a parent photographing the event. Trying to give instructions or information, but not being sure the parent is listening as they snap pics, edit them, post, check the likes, etc. The hospital where my son spent so much time was trying to figure out a policy for camera use that was respectful of not only the staff, but also room-mates (who have a right to not show up in the background of someone's instagram posts). In the many months we spent in the hospital, I did take photos of my son, but never during a crisis. He needed me present and engaged with him in those moments. I get it that it may be different for a family who didn't live medical crises as a lifestyle, and who wanted to document this one-off experience, but honestly, that type were the worst room mates ever.
I've come to think of privacy and anonymity as a high value, and I think carefully about how and when I am willing to spend or give away some of that valuable resource. Once it is gone, it's gone, and it's not a renewable resource. I can choose to spend some of it if I feel like I get something of value in return (validation, friendship, connections, information) but it's always a transaction, and I need to think of it as a transaction.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Dec 29, 2019 21:05:35 GMT
Ok so if the OP is about Baby Crew, I don’t see in the moms posts that’s she is seeking funds or using her baby for monetary gain. I see a terrified mom asking for prayers to the audience she knows she has in her followers. Up above I said it was about a different influencer. I didn't know about baby C until later today. Someone did point out though that her photos were edited via lightbox and whatnot. Who does that?! After seeing her 3 photos and stories she gives off a bad vibe to me too. Quite a lot of influencers have companies edit their photos. I’d stop judging. It’s their life, and it really doesn’t hurt anyone does it? The age of the influencer (she’s in her 20’s) tells me that she likely grew up on social media, so this may be normal for her. Just because you wouldn’t do it the way she is, does not make it wrong.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Dec 29, 2019 21:12:59 GMT
There is a gofundme page for Crew. It was at $95,000 this morning. I saw that today too—the family didn’t start it. But that’s great that her followers helped out.
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Post by mom on Dec 29, 2019 21:18:41 GMT
I've said this a million times, it seems like. But grieving mothers get a huge pass from me. I think its easy to sit and pass judgements on someone not walking the same path as you. But of all the stupid shit I see on Instagram and the 'net everyday, this doesn't even register on my WTF meter. When your child dies, many will tell you their biggest worry is that no one will remember their baby. I have the same fears. So you do what you can so you can to remember. Because one day will come and you will question yourself if your baby actually was ever here...or was she a dream. The smells you swear you will never forget do get forgotten. And there will be days when you can't remember what her skin felt like. And then you will see a photo and instantly recall it all. There will be a day when she mentions having a son...and people will wonder where he is and what happened. So no. She gets absolutely no judgements from me. And I agree with lainey . It says a hell of a lot more about you for judging her. And the $95,000 in the GFM? Who f*ing cares? Between the funeral, the lost work and paychecks, and medical bills, I doubt anyone is going to be living the high life anytime soon. And they would give it all back if it meant they keep their child. No one is making anyone give....people are giving because they care. And that is never a bad thing.
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Post by Skellinton on Dec 29, 2019 22:35:29 GMT
I've said this a million times, it seems like. But grieving mothers get a huge pass from me. I think its easy to sit and pass judgements on someone not walking the same path as you. But of all the stupid shit I see on Instagram and the 'net everyday, this doesn't even register on my WTF meter. When your child dies, many will tell you their biggest worry is that no one will remember their baby. I have the same fears. So you do what you can so you can to remember. Because one day will come and you will question yourself if your baby actually was ever here...or was she a dream. The smells you swear you will never forget do get forgotten. And there will be days when you can't remember what her skin felt like. And then you will see a photo and instantly recall it all. There will be a day when she mentions having a son...and people will wonder where he is and what happened. So no. She gets absolutely no judgements from me. And I agree with lainey . It says a hell of a lot more about you for judging her. And the $95,000 in the GFM? Who f*ing cares? Between the funeral, the lost work and paychecks, and medical bills, I doubt anyone is going to be living the high life anytime soon. And they would give it all back if it meant they keep their child. No one is making anyone give....people are giving because they care. And that is never a bad thing. I just want you to know that I can’t even imagine what losing a child feels like, and I completely agree that no one should be judging or pretending to know what they would do if they lost a child.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,812
Jun 26, 2014 1:20:09 GMT
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Post by Just T on Dec 29, 2019 23:08:13 GMT
I've said this a million times, it seems like. But grieving mothers get a huge pass from me. I think its easy to sit and pass judgements on someone not walking the same path as you. But of all the stupid shit I see on Instagram and the 'net everyday, this doesn't even register on my WTF meter. When your child dies, many will tell you their biggest worry is that no one will remember their baby. I have the same fears. So you do what you can so you can to remember. Because one day will come and you will question yourself if your baby actually was ever here...or was she a dream. The smells you swear you will never forget do get forgotten. And there will be days when you can't remember what her skin felt like. And then you will see a photo and instantly recall it all. There will be a day when she mentions having a son...and people will wonder where he is and what happened. So no. She gets absolutely no judgements from me. And I agree with lainey . It says a hell of a lot more about you for judging her. And the $95,000 in the GFM? Who f*ing cares? Between the funeral, the lost work and paychecks, and medical bills, I doubt anyone is going to be living the high life anytime soon. And they would give it all back if it meant they keep their child. No one is making anyone give....people are giving because they care. And that is never a bad thing. I've been reading this thread all day, and I have wanted to respond, but had a hard time. I agree with every thing mom wrote here. Unless you have lost a baby, you have no right to judge what a grieving parent does or does not do. Just because YOU would not want such photos doesn't mean someone who does is wrong or is not grieving the proper way. You may not want to remember YOUR baby that way but someone else, may want every remembrance they can possibly have. Neither is right or wrong. I work for an organization that supports parents and families who experience the death of a baby any time during pregnancy or as a newborn, and I have seen it all. I have seen parents who deliver a baby who is born still who do not want any photos at all because that is not how they want to remember their baby. Others have oodles of photos. I know someone who had a baby born with a genetic disorder who lived for an hour, and they have close to 600 photos taken in the time their baby was alive. I know people who had babies who spent their entire lives in the NICU before dying, and they have photos of all sorts of things that anyone who has not been through it do not understand.
I know people who have made their careers out of taking photos of babies who have died or are dying. One photographer I know takes more "photojournalism" type photos--photos that are very similar to the ones Crew's mom is posting. Families who have such photos treasure them.
Who is it hurting for his mom to take photos and document this horrific time? If doing so is bringing her some sort of comfort, or will bring her comfort in the coming weeks and months, who are we to judge her?
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,233
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on Dec 30, 2019 3:05:09 GMT
I have been a NICU RN for over 25 years. I have seen parents grieve in many, many different ways. Some will quietly cry. Some will fall onto the floor and scream. Some take hundreds of photos, while others take none. Some want to hold their baby while he takes his last breath. Others want to say goodbye and leave so they don't have to witness his last breath. Every single person has different needs when mourning their child and nobody has the right to judge them for it.
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*Marjorie*
Full Member
Posts: 360
Location: Hawaii
Jun 26, 2014 16:43:45 GMT
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Post by *Marjorie* on Dec 30, 2019 6:00:38 GMT
" She did in her stories (not the regular feed) yesterday...they expire after so many hours so maybe that’s why you didn’t see it. "
I'm a follower of Britani. I've followed her story from the beginning and she has never asked for money. The Go Fund Me was setup by her ex-husband. Other funds were setup because her followers wanted to help in any way they could.
I just don't understand how people can have no empathy. There's always a few that will question. Some anti vac people were on there saying that this was due to vacs. Others were saying that she was milking this for the money and as soon as it started petering out they would pull the plug.
I just hope that those people will never have to deal with what she is dealing with. Or maybe karma should come and bite them in the ass.
Tomorrow, at noon Texas time, little Crew will go into the operating room. His organs will hopefully save 3 or 4 babies. Tonight they are soaking up every moment with him by bathing him, holding him and loving him. She is asking for prayers knowing that it will be the hardest day of their lives.
Please keep this family in your prayers.
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MaryMary
Pearl Clutcher
Lazy
Posts: 2,975
Jun 25, 2014 21:56:13 GMT
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Post by MaryMary on Dec 30, 2019 6:45:01 GMT
I don’t know this woman, didn’t know anything about the situation until this thread. But, I promise you she would rather have her child back than the money that has been raised.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 21:23:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2019 6:53:36 GMT
Can someone with medical background explain why she needed to donate blood for his organ donations because he was 100% BF?
Crew is going to be a hero for donating organs so other babies have a chance at life outside the hospital.
I really do wish though that she would put her phone down and just be with her baby. She doesn't need to be responding to anti vax comments or comments about not listening to doctors and to give his brain time to heal.
It is okay to step away.
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Post by bc2ca on Dec 30, 2019 7:43:22 GMT
When your child dies, many will tell you their biggest worry is that no one will remember their baby. A friend lost a baby to SIDS and this was her biggest heartbreak long before social media was a thing. How would people she met going forward know that she'd have 3 babies, not 2? I have no judgement for a family in the moment trying to navigate this kind of heartbreak.
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Post by mom on Dec 30, 2019 8:02:43 GMT
When your child dies, many will tell you their biggest worry is that no one will remember their baby. A friend lost a baby to SIDS and this was her biggest heartbreak long before social media was a thing. How would people she met going forward know that she'd have 3 babies, not 2? I have no judgement for a family in the moment trying to navigate this kind of heartbreak. Its hard - one of the harder parts IMHO. Its a constant struggle of 'do I mention her or is it just easier to not say anything'. I struggled with this for a very long time. Ive eventually come to realize that *I* will always know she was here. DH knows. And her brothers know. And thats all that matters. But I still come across people who have known us for years but still dont realize we had a baby girl. It is what it is but I constantly remind myself those who need to know, know. And they will always remember.
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Gravity
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,233
Jun 27, 2014 0:29:55 GMT
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Post by Gravity on Dec 30, 2019 12:34:06 GMT
Can someone with medical background explain why she needed to donate blood for his organ donations because he was 100% BF? Crew is going to be a hero for donating organs so other babies have a chance at life outside the hospital. I really do wish though that she would put her phone down and just be with her baby. She doesn't need to be responding to anti vax comments or comments about not listening to doctors and to give his brain time to heal. It is okay to step away. Maybe she does need to respond to anti vaccine comments or comments about not listening to doctors and to give his brain time to heal. She has mentioned the anger she feels about this situation. Responding to these judgmental jerks may be the outlet she needs to cope at the moment. I don’t understand why you feel the need to judge her for it. Does it make you feel superior?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 21:23:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2019 16:23:58 GMT
When your child dies, many will tell you their biggest worry is that no one will remember their baby. A friend lost a baby to SIDS and this was her biggest heartbreak long before social media was a thing. How would people she met going forward know that she'd have 3 babies, not 2? I have no judgement for a family in the moment trying to navigate this kind of heartbreak. I try my hardest to bring up, when I feel it is appropriate, a friends daughter who died of SIDS. But that is the hard part...knowing if it is okay or not to bring her up. She does a very good job of bringing up her baby girl when people ask how many kids or say oh you just have one child. Another friends baby will still born. She also brings up 4 kids when people ask and she jokes about her make up being used or clothes borrowed if she was alive. They both like to dream happy could have dreams for their kids.
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gina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,305
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:16 GMT
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Post by gina on Dec 30, 2019 17:34:57 GMT
This thread leaves a pretty bad taste in my mouth. How absolutely vile to judge someone whose baby just DIED. Gross.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 21:23:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2019 18:11:35 GMT
I really do wish though that she would put her phone down and just be with her baby. She doesn't need to be responding to anti vax comments or comments about not listening to doctors and to give his brain time to heal. When someone dies there's a massive sense of not knowing what to do with yourself, after my mum passed I went home and cleaned the bathroom and did some washing. I literally did not know what else to do. The first few hours and days are unlike anything else we will ever experience and we all do what we can to get through them. Give her a little grace as she gets through this however she can. Take a deep breath and think how your continued judgement is making you look.
ETA dies or is dying because I think we're talking about two different things.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Dec 30, 2019 18:15:06 GMT
This thread leaves a pretty bad taste in my mouth. How absolutely vile to judge someone whose baby just DIED. Gross. the OP did say that her original post was not about this particular situation, but about some other influencer... baby Crew's death was brought up by someone else farther along in the thread.
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Post by papersilly on Dec 30, 2019 18:20:46 GMT
i often wonder what will happen to these people when their moment runs out. when they get old, get boring, run out of content. the public is very fickle and people crave something new all the time.
what happens when your cute kid grows up to be a sullen teen who doesn't want to pose for pics every second of the day so you have content? what happens when that kid isn't so instagram cute anymore?
i've heard of instagrammers for purchase puppies or kittens just for the photo ops. when they grow up, the animals are abandoned. there is something seriously wrong with that.
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Post by shevy on Dec 30, 2019 18:22:51 GMT
I made the mistake of judging someone's grief journey about 10 years ago. Publicly. And it took me about 2 years to realize that everyone grieves so differently. And grieving is a NATURAL process that we ALL need to go through at some point. I will never judge anyone's grief again.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on Dec 30, 2019 18:23:54 GMT
I really do wish though that she would put her phone down and just be with her baby. She doesn't need to be responding to anti vax comments or comments about not listening to doctors and to give his brain time to heal. When someone dies there's a massive sense of not knowing what to do with yourself, after my mum passed I went home and cleaned the bathroom and did some washing. I literally did not know what else to do. The first few hours and days are unlike anything else we will ever experience and we all do what we can to get through them. Give her a little grace as she gets through this however she can. Take a deep breath and think how your continued judgement is making you look. This, a thousand times this. When my mom passed, I immediately went straight to deciding to do with the house (which we owned), her belongings, as well as setting up the memorial service and all that entails. Mom's house was completely emptied, readied to put on the market and listed in 6 weeks. There were very few tears from me. I dealt with the grief in my own way, almost a year later. Everyone reacts to death and loss in their own personal way. It is not our place to judge. That the OP continues to come back and rebut the many peas who say this is definitely saying more about her than this poor mother. One question for the op: if you disagree with what this mother is doing, then why on earth are you still following her? Is it to be judgemental and make yourself feel better? If how she is handling her child's death bothers you that much, then just quit following her. You can't be bothered by what you don't know.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,812
Jun 26, 2014 1:20:09 GMT
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Post by Just T on Dec 30, 2019 18:24:07 GMT
This thread leaves a pretty bad taste in my mouth. How absolutely vile to judge someone whose baby just DIED. Gross. I agree. Disgusting. I really do wish though that she would put her phone down and just be with her baby. She doesn't need to be responding to anti vax comments or comments about not listening to doctors and to give his brain time to heal. It is okay to step away. Why are you so judgmental of her? Why do you "wish"/care so much? I truly do not get it, at all. Maybe there are times when she had to step out of the room because of something they were doing to her baby, and she comforted herself by reading IG, where she has gotten a great deal of support? And who the heck knows...maybe the picture of her sitting on the floor, obviously upset, was taken by someone who couldn't be in the room. You are making a lot of assumptions here. Again, just because YOU would do things differently, that doesn't mean what she is doing is wrong. Give her a break, she is grieving and having to do things and make decisions no parent should ever have to make.
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*Marjorie*
Full Member
Posts: 360
Location: Hawaii
Jun 26, 2014 16:43:45 GMT
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Post by *Marjorie* on Dec 30, 2019 19:39:13 GMT
Why did you change your profile picture? Is it because you don't want us to recognize you? How does it feel to be judged?
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Post by SockMonkey on Dec 30, 2019 19:50:03 GMT
I freely admit I'm judgemental, but I think influencers are gross. I don't follow any. It's capitalism at its most squicky; using your family as props to get free shit.
Keep it.
ETA: I know nothing about this situation with some influencer and her deceased child. That's a tragedy.
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