Collin Kartchner passed away...

I think Barack Obama summed it up well when he said yesterday about Trump,

"And with Joe and Kamala at the helm, you're not going to have to think about the crazy things they said every day. And that's worth a lot. You're not going to have to argue about them every day. It just won't be so exhausting.""

and that's how I feel. I'm exhausted, and my exhaustion extends to influencers and their obsession with the need to project a perfect life. I am so sick and tired of social media/media, spreading disinformation, of pitting people against each other, especially when so many people are suffering, and need help.

Good for her for being able to raise funds - she's going to need them
Would I like to see everyone that needs money - receive the kinds of money she is getting - absolutely - but we all know that doesn't happen - and its totally human nature to be more than a little pissed off about the unfairness of that. But still, I don't want to be in her shoes.

Edited to add:

My ex brother in law died in his sleep 10 days ago. The family suspects either a heart attack or brain aneurysm. We won't know until the autopsy which is delayed due to COVID. He was in his early 50s, leaves behind  3 boys - I don't know if he has life insurance. He was an ex- and he never gave a cent of child support to my sister. So I somehow doubt it...and no they don't have a go fund me . Our family will step in as they have always done, to help give my sister the emotional and financial support & she and her boys will need. I'm not actually sure why  I am adding this....other than to say, bad things happen and they happen to all sorts of people whether they were deserving or not. 

This exactly. Thank you! I knew there would be someone coming to call us all out for the views expressed here, but almost everyone I see posting has both/and feelings about this. My first thoughts were about how much the family must be reeling, but also the unpleasant sides of his character I've learned about here. And how hard it will be for them but also how many people lose everything without anyone rallying to support them. It's just sad all around.  

I was fine with your personal investment in his death until you posted this.  The fact that you think you can shame a bunch of people on a message board for not taking action and giving to their money grab is too much.  Get the fuck out with this.

@northrigg Very sorry for your sister and nephews. It must've been such a shock.    I hope the autopsy isn't delayed too long so the boys can move on with the healing process. It's hard not to know. 

The thing hat galls me the most about the gfm is that it started out a 100,000, when they realized they were close to that they upped it to 200,000.  Now that they passed that they upped it again, this time to 300,000.  When will it end?  

A discussion? A newbie speaking her mind? The impudence! Ha ha.

My responses to others in this thread have largely been to challenge the assumptions that people are basing their comments on ...

• Liz is rich and doesn't truly need the GoFundMe $. You don't know that.
• Collin was a douche from birth until his untimely death. Was he?
  
• The couple were irresponsible morons for not having insurance. It's entirely possible, but we don't know for sure why they didn't have it.

My overall point is, when you see tragedy - this one or any other - either you're moved to action or you're not. I think it's funny I'm being accused of shaming. You feeling shame? I can't make you feel one way or the other, sister. How you feel about what I wrote is your own choice. If you feel shame ... maybe listen to your conscience? I know I'm asking for it with that comment, but I just couldn't help myself.

Look. Donate, don't donate -- doesn't affect me one way or the other. I felt bad for Liz and her kids, gave her the benefit of the doubt and sent some money. Toot toot! Looks like GoFundMe took 3% of it + a service fee anyway, so that's rad. 

Differences aside, I think we're all in agreement that what's befallen the family is tragic, sad, and horrible. Sucks.

Dang. Now THAT was a super gangster reply. My (sheriff) hat goes off to you. 
 
Don't mind me, ma'am. I'll just be over here enjoying my chocolate medal on top of my high horse ... or maybe a cheeseburger sounds better.

Yell all you want, I still think it's nice to show some GD compassion to someone when they're down.

And that's exactly what we all did but since we didn't donate, you've felt the need to point the finger at us and blame us for a lack of "GD compassion". 

Moi aussi, sleepingbooty 

I will not be taking action to help DL. This does not mean that I don't have empathy for her situation. At some point we as a society need to stop idolizing these people who create these online "influencer" personas. Using social media as your source of income requires you to operate as though you are self employed and have a plan. They made choices and I'm sure she has people in her actual inner circle that will support her. I'm a random stranger on the internet. Asking people for money on GFM is one thing. Continuing to up the amount is disgusting.

Yeah. that.

It'd be nice if people could spare some change for the moms of 4 who lost a husband and get nothing instead of heaping it all on a well-to-do white woman.



They were LITERALLY ON A BEACH VACATION when this happened. So, yeah, I don't "know" but I can build a fairly good hypothesis.

I wasn't really going to dig into this drama because this is really a touchy, sad subject but really with these assumptions?

1. Yes, we do know that Liz was upper middle class. No, I don't know exactly how much she makes and I know that social media is often spun to make things look better than it is, but the reality was that her family takes multiple luxurious vacations per year, they have an extremely nice house that is very well decorated, her and her entire family are always very well dressed, they are always going out for ice cream & other activities and treats. I don't think anyone has said she's ridiculously rich or that she won't take a financial hit from this, but they are not in poverty and so many people are.
2. I don't think many people have commented on Collin's behavior on this thread (I certainly didn't) but I think those that did pointed to specific instances and mostly acknowledged that it seemed like he was becoming a better person. Everyone has acknowledged that he seemed to be a great husband and father and no one here thinks that this was anything less than a tragedy.
3. They said they didn't have life insurance on the GoFundMe so if they did have it and lied about it to get donations that is even worse. But you are the first one to insinuate that maybe that is the case... besides that, yes, it is irresponsible of them to not have insurance.

While I don't necessarily blame them for not being better prepared because this was so unexpected and I feel horrible for their family, it is frustrating when so many others don't have the luxury of not preparing for difficult times just because they don't have 100k instagram followers... and I think that is all anyone is saying. No one is saying that they don't think they could use the money or that it will be a blessing to them, but most people either need to make sure to be prepared or they will not have someone to bail them out. There are so many people that die unexpectedly, especially in the current pandemic, and unless you're Jeff Bezos no one has the funds to contribute to all of them... Liz is going to fare much better than so many others that have suffered or will suffer unexpected losses.

ETA: Sorry it didn't quote quite right, hopefully I fixed it.

You have a lot of nerve to judge me on not donating to a go fund me for well off people. I feel for her and her children, it is a tough, devastating loss. It is very tragic and I have a great deal of empathy for what they are going to go thru. But empathy doesn’t equal handing them my money. Especially for a go fund me that clearly illustrates A flippant attitude towards money. I’m pretty sure I need that $10 more than they do.

I’m sure they spent more on their current vacation ( during a pandemic! ) than I make in a month. I spend my income on what *I* want to spend it on. I save and put aside money for emergencies because that what you do when your able to. I donate money all the time - to places where people actually need it. You have no right to judge me for not donating $10 to people who make way more than I do. I have my own issues to deal with and my own financial hardships and know enough people with tragedies that could use help. Pardon me if I don’t give $10 to the go fund me of someone who already clearly has more than I do. I only know that because they publicize that all over the internet.

Your the one being judgmental and rude for castigating us for not ‘being moved’ to Donate. Insinuating that empathy has a dollar amount attached to it.

And your damn right ‘hamburger’ I haven’t had steak in my budget since March so hamburger will have to do & probably for 2 meals. But that’s ok I know how to use it and can make a tasty dinner with chopped meat any day of the week.

But you can take your judgment and shove it.