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Post by Darcy Collins on Oct 29, 2020 0:54:39 GMT
I honestly don't think it's any worse than it used to be. I think some people take the board very seriously and take all interactions personally. Some people see it as a place to blow off steam, and sort of leave it all on the field, so to speak. No judgement - it's just a personality difference. I've learned over the years that if there is a thread that's occupying my mind in a negative way after I click away from it, I need to disengage from that thread. It is no one else's fault if I make a bad choice and keep coming back to a thread that makes me angry. No one forces anyone to participate in a particular thread. Take the good, leave the bad, move along. No one lives rent free in your head without your permission. Now on this I agree with you 110% I used to get very frustrated with a few posters who just would not acknowledge facts when presented with them - not opinions - not grey area with multiple interpretations - this is an actual statistic and they would argue for pages and pages about anything and everything. I finally realized that they would NEVER acknowledge that they were wrong and what in the world was I doing arguing with someone who couldn't acknowledge basic facts. I've gotten much better at who I choose to engage with and absolutely knowing when I'm letting someone live in my head rent free. |
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Post by Merge on Oct 29, 2020 1:04:53 GMT
I honestly don't think it's any worse than it used to be. I think some people take the board very seriously and take all interactions personally. Some people see it as a place to blow off steam, and sort of leave it all on the field, so to speak. No judgement - it's just a personality difference. I've learned over the years that if there is a thread that's occupying my mind in a negative way after I click away from it, I need to disengage from that thread. It is no one else's fault if I make a bad choice and keep coming back to a thread that makes me angry. No one forces anyone to participate in a particular thread. Take the good, leave the bad, move along. No one lives rent free in your head without your permission. Now on this I agree with you 110% I used to get very frustrated with a few posters who just would not acknowledge facts when presented with them - not opinions - not grey area with multiple interpretations - this is an actual statistic and they would argue for pages and pages about anything and everything. I finally realized that they would NEVER acknowledge that they were wrong and what in the world was I doing arguing with someone who couldn't acknowledge basic facts. I've gotten much better at who I choose to engage with and absolutely knowing when I'm letting someone live in my head rent free. Yes. And I think we'd both agree that "much better" is not perfect. Sometimes we get sucked in despite our best intentions.  |
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Post by Darcy Collins on Oct 29, 2020 1:06:01 GMT
Now on this I agree with you 110% I used to get very frustrated with a few posters who just would not acknowledge facts when presented with them - not opinions - not grey area with multiple interpretations - this is an actual statistic and they would argue for pages and pages about anything and everything. I finally realized that they would NEVER acknowledge that they were wrong and what in the world was I doing arguing with someone who couldn't acknowledge basic facts. I've gotten much better at who I choose to engage with and absolutely knowing when I'm letting someone live in my head rent free. Yes. And I think we'd both agree that "much better" is not perfect. Sometimes we get sucked in despite our best intentions. Oh yes - so wish I could disagree lol |
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Post by cecilia on Oct 29, 2020 1:17:52 GMT
I have gotten testy with a couple peas. I think it was because of what all has been going on in my live and I felt like the other pea was telling me that my best wasn't good enough. That bugs me with my aunts too so it isn't just peas who make me feel like that.
I have been trying to stay away as much as I can tbh. I am pretty tired, physically and emotionally. Supposed to be having a fun weekend next week so hopefully I will come back recharged.
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Deleted
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Nov 24, 2024 9:43:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 29, 2020 1:35:26 GMT
I am on here exactly as I am in real life. I've never been a keyboard warrior and I speak to people as if I were in person with them.
With that said, yes I confess I've been extra bitchy lately. I'm just SO DONE with so many things. And yes it spills over from real life. Because I am being authentic here. I'm tired of the passive aggressiveness, the nastiness and the people who post things only to be inflammatory. I usually just ignore it but today I am just SO DONE with these types of people.
So I apologize if I was out of order attacking a certain individual today. But I am SO DONE with that type of malicious posting. So done.
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Post by myboysnme on Oct 29, 2020 1:42:23 GMT
I see much more positivity and support most any day than I do negativity or anything like that. I do see much less tolerance for people who have felt comfortable expressing racist and discriminatory views and failure to consider empathy for those affected by social issues.
I still miss Mrs T, Lauren, and I don't know who all has left who regularly took adverse views. Their presence helps us keep a finger on the pulse of what attitudes are still pervasive or flourishing.
We have many peas who do not live in the USA and their views really help all of us consider life outside of our own street.
Yes, quarantine and the Trump era have flipped some of our worlds upside-down. We do want to lash out against those we perceive wish us harm.
I am a person who will say in person what I say online. The difference is online I interact with people I might never encounter in real life.
Two peas refugees is still a place I like to hang out. I don't have anyone blocked, I love drama from time to time, and I have no problem scrolling by which is how I seem to miss when stuff goes down.
I do think there was unnecessary drama over the card swappers thing that could have been resolved nicely, especially when the purpose was to wish well to others and it went horribly awry.
I think it's good when some people step away from the board. I may not miss them like I do Compwalla, for example, but the board goes on with plenty of feel good threads.
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Post by MichyM on Oct 29, 2020 4:18:36 GMT
See, this attitude is what I don't understand. Yes, some threads have fights going on. So why do you read those? I just scanned down the first page of the board and here are threads that I think are not likely to be "ugly": -- putting up xmas trees -- hurricanes -- what do Dutch people living here miss? -- trick or treating -- games -- Animal Crossing --weekly reading -- what's for dinner -- xmas gift ideas -- International Quilt Festival -- face cream -- decluttering and organizing -- October crafting -- TV shows -- elderly pets  -- happy birthdays -- scams -- medical questions -- financial questions -- antiques -- Library Lady's interesting information Read (and participate) in any of those and you won't see too much "ugly". Not even between the Real Tree people and the Fake Tree people.  We don’t put up a Christmas tree I live in Washington state so I have no hurricane experience to share I’m not Dutch I don’t play the games or have a switch - though I have chatted with them a few times We are not doing trick or treating because our town or county has advised against it. So it seems like a downer to those that are if I went in and said that. I have too many other hobbies and only finish a book every 2-3 weeks. I was in the weekly dinner thread but then wasn’t cooking so I was boring I could look at the quilts I don’t use face creams or declutter I post my scrapbooking and cards on the other side I haven’t watched This is us yet so I don’t want spoilers and I don’t watch the reality shows I stopped posting on the birthday thread when I stopped coming to the board daily My only advice for scams is be careful and it has probably already been said I don’t open medical threads, I never know if there will be a picture I don’t collect antiques Probably the reason I stopped checking in and participating daily is because of all the bitching and fighting. Yes we get it Trumps sucks, yes he does and do we really need 100’s of threads saying that. Anyone that doesn’t bitch and moan and groan about him is assumed to support him or be a Trumper. No I did not vote for him and I don’t support him and it really isn’t my fault he was elected. Or masks and covid. We all know we need to wear our masks, do we really need thread after thread complaining about others not wearing theirs. All the complaining is exhausting and some of us enjoyed the board as our happy place. If I wanted to listen to all this complaining and name calling I could move closer to my family! I miss seeing you around here, I’ve always felt that you were a valuable part of this community and I love hearing about your love for dogs. I’m going to say this is the nicest way possible....If you (not just you, but all of us here) don’t care for the subjects being discussed, then start a discussion on a topic that does interest you. If you want this to be your happy place, then help make it so. I just went into your history very briefly, so my apologies if this is not 100% accurate. You’ve started six threads this year, the most recent in May. While I only glanced at your last 10 posts, it appears that each one was either about the card swap, the card swap host, or how awful we all are. After 20 years here I can say with near certainty that each one of us gets out of this place what we put into it. It’s not all “the other guy.” Sometimes we are actually a part of what we have a problem with. |
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Post by MichyM on Oct 29, 2020 4:22:38 GMT
Oh and also. I know it’s hard. It’s all hard. Being nice is hard. We are all experiencing really really tough times right now. <———- not trying to be a Pollyanna.
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Post by padresfan619 on Oct 29, 2020 4:22:40 GMT
I’ve seen Peas buy school supplies for teachers, rally around Peas who are having hard times, sharing traditions their families share during holidays and many more positive things. It is easy to want to just focus on the ugly, it’s fun to gossip and talk about drama but there’s plenty of good here that keeps me coming back each day.
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lizacreates
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,862 
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Post by lizacreates on Oct 29, 2020 4:30:32 GMT
Just speaking for myself, I love the bickering and sniping here. Especially when it’s political. The train wrecks, the clusterf*cks, the self-righteousness, the condescension, the bitchiness, the takedowns, the bar brawls, the hypocrisies, the mudslinging, the hairflips, etc. Sometimes I don’t bother watching TV at night because the drama is better here.
That said, it’s equally attractive because of the caring – when a pea is suffering, or someone she loved had passed, or she’s getting divorced, or she’s ill, or she simply just can’t manage to get up in the morning anymore…whatever…Peadom comes to the rescue. And the rest? When a pea can’t figure out something? When a pea wants validation and a boost? When a frustrated pea just wants to vent? When a pea needs prayers? Peadom. There’s nothing too banal or too complex that Peadom won’t and can’t handle.
The worst in us? Yeah, probably. The best in us? Most definitely.
Because we’re just humans.
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rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,675
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
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Post by rodeomom on Oct 29, 2020 4:45:56 GMT
Just speaking for myself, I love the bickering and sniping here. Especially when it’s political. The train wrecks, the clusterf*cks, the self-righteousness, the condescension, the bitchiness, the takedowns, the bar brawls, the hypocrisies, the mudslinging, the hairflips, etc. Sometimes I don’t bother watching TV at night because the drama is better here. That said, it’s equally attractive because of the caring – when a pea is suffering, or someone she loved had passed, or she’s getting divorced, or she’s ill, or she simply just can’t manage to get up in the morning anymore…whatever…Peadom comes to the rescue. And the rest? When a pea can’t figure out something? When a pea wants validation and a boost? When a frustrated pea just wants to vent? When a pea needs prayers? Peadom. There’s nothing too banal or too complex that Peadom won’t and can’t handle. The worst in us? Yeah, probably. The best in us? Most definitely. Because we’re just humans. Yep! The good, the bad, the ugly. I love this place! |
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nogfz
Full Member
Posts: 219
Aug 3, 2019 21:32:31 GMT
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Post by nogfz on Oct 29, 2020 4:57:34 GMT
Yes! I rarely get on here anymore because it has gotten so ugly🙁 See, this attitude is what I don't understand. Yes, some threads have fights going on. So why do you read those? I just scanned down the first page of the board and here are threads that I think are not likely to be "ugly": -- putting up xmas trees -- hurricanes -- what do Dutch people living here miss? -- trick or treating -- games -- Animal Crossing --weekly reading -- what's for dinner -- xmas gift ideas -- International Quilt Festival -- face cream -- decluttering and organizing -- October crafting -- TV shows -- elderly pets  -- happy birthdays -- scams -- medical questions -- financial questions -- antiques -- Library Lady's interesting information Read (and participate) in any of those and you won't see too much "ugly". Not even between the Real Tree people and the Fake Tree people.  I hate this type of response with the heat of a million suns. It is condescendingly tone deaf, head in the sand and ass in the air. |
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Oct 29, 2020 5:04:11 GMT
I don't think it's all ugly here.
One of my favorite things about this place is seeing a 4 or 5 page thread when a pea needs support.
I think most of us set politics and past history aside when someone here is going through something difficult. Death, divorce, illness...without fail, this community responds with overwhelming kindness and compassion.
When my mom died, I was touched by the support. Many peas with whom I've disagreed offered nothing but kindness and humanity.
That, to me, is the real spirit of this place.
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Post by monklady123 on Oct 29, 2020 10:56:30 GMT
See, this attitude is what I don't understand. Yes, some threads have fights going on. So why do you read those? I just scanned down the first page of the board and here are threads that I think are not likely to be "ugly": -- putting up xmas trees -- hurricanes -- what do Dutch people living here miss? -- trick or treating -- games -- Animal Crossing --weekly reading -- what's for dinner -- xmas gift ideas -- International Quilt Festival -- face cream -- decluttering and organizing -- October crafting -- TV shows -- elderly pets -- happy birthdays -- scams -- medical questions -- financial questions -- antiques -- Library Lady's interesting information Read (and participate) in any of those and you won't see too much "ugly". Not even between the Real Tree people and the Fake Tree people. I hate this type of response with the heat of a million suns. It is condescendingly tone deaf, head in the sand and ass in the air.  |
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Deleted
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Nov 24, 2024 9:43:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 29, 2020 11:18:42 GMT
I like it here. I can't spend much time but I notice the positive much more than I do the negative. It means a lot to me to have this place. I feel the love that a lot have here. But there is a shadow side to everyone and some are processing through that as well. Maybe some day they will have more peace after hard times. I hope so.
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Post by karenlou on Oct 29, 2020 11:51:19 GMT
I think it is the nature of a huge board with LOTS of members....People are people...and I think the Pea who said that folks would say stuff on this board that they would NEVER say that stuff IRL is Right on point.
That is why I choose not to get involved....ENOUGH drama IRL....I'll post in the dinner thread, Happy Birthday thread...and random questions that are asked that I have constructive input to add....I do look the weekly reading thread....However I have enough to deal with in my day to day life....Don't need any more from a MB
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Post by myboysnme on Oct 29, 2020 12:01:15 GMT
I hate this type of response with the heat of a million suns. It is condescendingly tone deaf, head in the sand and ass in the air. Now this is a very good point. I had thought the same thing about avoiding the hot topic posts and seeking the fluff, but here I learned something. I think now she is saying when it turns ugly it can make some people not want to be here. So in response normally I would think well come back on a different day and it will be something that might interest you. But you are right. It is failing to acknowledge the feelings of the person who hates the ugly. I think many people, including me, like to try to solve problems by offering advice. There is a need to help fix the issue. That's ok. That is what makes me come here with a problem myself. But on sympathy/loss threads, we have been able to just acknowledge without advice. Perhaps I can do more of that when someone says how they feel and I shake my head because I don't get it. Maybe just acknowledge the feeling. |
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Post by SockMonkey on Oct 29, 2020 12:12:25 GMT
See, this attitude is what I don't understand. Yes, some threads have fights going on. So why do you read those? I just scanned down the first page of the board and here are threads that I think are not likely to be "ugly": -- putting up xmas trees -- hurricanes -- what do Dutch people living here miss? -- trick or treating -- games -- Animal Crossing --weekly reading -- what's for dinner -- xmas gift ideas -- International Quilt Festival -- face cream -- decluttering and organizing -- October crafting -- TV shows -- elderly pets -- happy birthdays -- scams -- medical questions -- financial questions -- antiques -- Library Lady's interesting information Read (and participate) in any of those and you won't see too much "ugly". Not even between the Real Tree people and the Fake Tree people. I hate this type of response with the heat of a million suns. It is condescendingly tone deaf, head in the sand and ass in the air. Can I ask why you find this condescending? I read her post and thought, “yep!” Because usually those are threads around which there isn’t a lot of drama, so it was actually...true? And a good suggestion? And MichyM followed up with an additional post that was not condescending and offered her perspective with kindness. I am just trying to understand why the post is something you consider “head in the sand.” Sometimes it is about perception... |
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Post by hop2 on Oct 29, 2020 12:15:00 GMT
It's my experience you get out of the board what you put into it. It's kinda like a giant mirror. For the most part yes, I do find this to be true. |
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Post by elaine on Oct 29, 2020 12:21:33 GMT
I would not have made it through my cancer without this board.
I think that to me this can be a glass half-full vs half-empty kind of thing. An 8 oz glass that has 4 oz of water in it IS both half full and half empty at the same time. It depends on the focus of the viewer.
So, while this board may bring out the worst in some, at the same time it also brings out the best in some. And the support I have received here over the years is literally priceless. Not to mention the information, knowledge, product recommendations, recipes, the sense of well-being that comes from being able to support someone else, and many other things. ❤️
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Oct 29, 2020 12:24:57 GMT
Reminds me of the story of the man who was asking what kind of town he had moved to. The old timer asked him back about the town he had moved there from. He described it as awful, nothing fun to do, and full of backbiting mean people. The old timer nodded wisely and told him he'd find the new town to be much the same. Several days later, another newcomer ask the old timer the same question about what the town was like. The old timer responded back with the same query about where he'd come from. The newcomer said his former town was wonderful, full of opportunities, and filled with friendly kind people. The old timer nodded wisely and told him he'd find this town much the same way. I think MizIndependent gave the old timer's response when she said you might get out of this what you put into it. But, hey, if any of you bitter old hags want to come tell me I'm wrong...  |
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Post by Really Red on Oct 29, 2020 12:40:20 GMT
You all have good insights as to why things are bad right now. I think things will get better once the election has passed and COVID has gotten a bit better. I, too, feel like saying STFU to a lot of people. Mostly I can move on, but sometimes I do get riled up. I keep trying to post a fluffier post, but I keep getting pulled in to the others. I really am a pretty nice person IRL |
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Deleted
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Nov 24, 2024 9:43:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 29, 2020 13:25:13 GMT
In general I do find this board to be kinder than the old two peas. However for me, I do scroll past the political posts, but for some reason, just seeing all the red fills me with angst. My husband is a 24 hour a day news junky...all kinds...all sides, and I guess I just kinda wanted to get away from it on her (which is my problem, and no one elses).
I really do wish there was a separate part of the board for the posts, but truly understand why there is not.
I wish the world in general was a kinder place than it currently is.
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Post by mikklynn on Oct 29, 2020 13:33:00 GMT
I don't read most of the political posts. I exit threads that are getting ugly, for my own sake.
I hate to block people with different opinions, but I have blocked people that are just too much.
Most of the time, I love it here. I love so many of you guys!
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Post by Restless Spirit on Oct 29, 2020 13:36:02 GMT
I’m getting tired of remaining mostly silent. I no longer tolerate those that enable, encourage and turn a blind eye to bad behaviors. My block list is getting longer and longer every day.
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,584
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Oct 29, 2020 13:53:13 GMT
It surprises me when I see people pop off at each other over clearly what is an old grudge relationship. The "no wonder you said that, because your history here proves that you are *insert bad adjective* ... "
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Post by hop2 on Oct 29, 2020 14:02:24 GMT
It surprises me when I see people pop off at each other over clearly what is an old grudge relationship. The "no wonder you said that, because your history here proves that you are *insert bad adjective* ... " I do not have the brainpower to remember things for too long. And I seem to remember my transgressions much longer than someone saying something to me. There’s a pea who recently pissed me off - I don’t look at anything that pea posts the same anymore. I’m not sure how long that’ll last Because I tend to forget things. It’s only stuck with me this long because I was shocked by it. I think she has me on ignore now anyway. I normally don’t remember who was rude by the next day. Lol it’s a well they had a bad day moment and that’s it. Total there's maybe 5-6 peas who I think can be overtly rude all the time. That’s who they are accept it or block them. 🤷♀️ There’s about a billionty peas who I think are more kind, gracious and accepting of me than I probably deserve. |
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pinklady
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,069
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Post by pinklady on Oct 29, 2020 14:29:04 GMT
See, this attitude is what I don't understand. Yes, some threads have fights going on. So why do you read those? I just scanned down the first page of the board and here are threads that I think are not likely to be "ugly": -- putting up xmas trees -- hurricanes -- what do Dutch people living here miss? -- trick or treating -- games -- Animal Crossing --weekly reading -- what's for dinner -- xmas gift ideas -- International Quilt Festival -- face cream -- decluttering and organizing -- October crafting -- TV shows -- elderly pets -- happy birthdays -- scams -- medical questions -- financial questions -- antiques -- Library Lady's interesting information Read (and participate) in any of those and you won't see too much "ugly". Not even between the Real Tree people and the Fake Tree people. I hate this type of response with the heat of a million suns. It is condescendingly tone deaf, head in the sand and ass in the air. Of course you do. |
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Post by Laurie on Oct 29, 2020 14:31:59 GMT
Just speaking for myself, I love the bickering and sniping here. Especially when it’s political. The train wrecks, the clusterf*cks, the self-righteousness, the condescension, the bitchiness, the takedowns, the bar brawls, the hypocrisies, the mudslinging, the hairflips, etc. Sometimes I don’t bother watching TV at night because the drama is better here. That said, it’s equally attractive because of the caring – when a pea is suffering, or someone she loved had passed, or she’s getting divorced, or she’s ill, or she simply just can’t manage to get up in the morning anymore…whatever…Peadom comes to the rescue. And the rest? When a pea can’t figure out something? When a pea wants validation and a boost? When a frustrated pea just wants to vent? When a pea needs prayers? Peadom. There’s nothing too banal or too complex that Peadom won’t and can’t handle. The worst in us? Yeah, probably. The best in us? Most definitely. Because we’re just humans. 100% this. This post made me reflect back about 2Peas through the years. I don't really remember the negative though when reminiscing. Things I thought about after this post: The TTC threads. Those peas got me through an incredibly dark time for me. I learned so much from them and they were there for me during my miscarriage. They understood exactly what I was going through because they were going through it too. Everyone irl was be thankful for the one you have. The losses of children, spouses, parents, or peas themselves. During these time we aren't red or blue we are peas united in comforting a fellow pea. Yesterday I posted more in one day than I probably have in 6 months. Things aren't well with my grandma in the hospital and this board was a nice distraction for me. Yeah this board can be ugly sometimes. But the camaraderie is a beautiful thing and what keeps me coming back. |
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Post by Merge on Oct 29, 2020 14:35:23 GMT
I hate this type of response with the heat of a million suns. It is condescendingly tone deaf, head in the sand and ass in the air. Can I ask why you find this condescending? I read her post and thought, “yep!” Because usually those are threads around which there isn’t a lot of drama, so it was actually...true? And a good suggestion? And MichyM followed up with an additional post that was not condescending and offered her perspective with kindness. I am just trying to understand why the post is something you consider “head in the sand.” Sometimes it is about perception... It’s worth noting, I think, that the folks complaining about meanness on the board are also those quickest to jump on a kindly meant post with an insult. |
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