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Post by Zee on Oct 30, 2020 1:40:20 GMT
I highly prefer to know where I stand with people here. If you don't like me, I'm ok with that, and I can choose whether to engage or move on. Lately, much more so than my earlier years here, I prefer to just move on because I need good energy, not bad. But I really don't like the peas that will not confront but instead make passive aggressive comments about my posts.
I'd prefer not to waste my time thinking out helpful posts or chiming in on play-along threads if you're going to like every comment but mine, or bitch about what I said in another thread. Petty Betties.
Most people here are grand though and there are some I'm actually quite fond of, whether we've argued or not. The peas I dislike are fairly few and as I said I'm trying to be better.
Or as Melania said, Be best!
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,146 
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Post by rickmer on Oct 30, 2020 2:41:26 GMT
i have been here since the old board (different names, matleavepea back then, merrick and now rickmer), i have caught myself when reading over my responses before i hit "reply" and thought "is that *really* the best way i could say that?". and adjusting it. and that is ME. that is how i choose to respond and present myself.
i like the "feisty" threads. the peas are smart and analytical, kind and supportive, helpful and yes, sometimes, bitchy and direct. but i do realize it is a message board. i also realize i can only control what i throw out there and not how others choose to respond. and i come back to the whole "treat people the way you wanna be treated" perspective - for ME.
that is a WHOLE lotta quotes... just saying, it is what it is and it works for me. when it doesn't, i guess i will step away.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Oct 30, 2020 3:16:27 GMT
I don't feel like it does that to me.
I read the topics I like.
I scroll past the topics I don't want to read about, or participate on.
I've learned many things on here, most especially about some great products to use.
Everyone has their own opinion, about any given topic. We all have the choice to not engage with someone that has an opposing viewpoint about whatever topic.
Throughout life, we pick and choose which "battles to fight" and which to "let go, ignore, think to ourselves or say out loud we'll just have to agree to disagree".
When people have opposing viewpoints on whatever the topic, each party will stand their ground and never give in, because they strongly believe they are right, that kind of battle is never ending. Nothing is likely to change the other person's mind. I don't engage, it's not worth the effort. I simply think to myself "to each, their own" and "we'll agree, to disagree" and go own my own merry way.
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Post by longtimenopea on Oct 30, 2020 3:24:19 GMT
I stepped out from the boards for a little while (ok, several years, so long that I don’t recall what my old pea handle was!) because sometimes it didn’t bring out the best in me. There were some peas I always wanted to argue with and some negative feelings about myself based on some of the things people say. I came back because I missed the thought provoking stuff that goes on. I would like to think I grew while I was gone. The world needs kindness and good intent more than ever and I’m hoping to do that better in my life online and offline.
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Post by elaine on Oct 30, 2020 3:37:54 GMT
I stepped out from the boards for a little while (ok, several years, so long that I don’t recall what my old pea handle was!) because sometimes it didn’t bring out the best in me. There were some peas I always wanted to argue with and some negative feelings about myself based on some of the things people say. I came back because I missed the thought provoking stuff that goes on. I would like to think I grew while I was gone. The world needs kindness and good intent more than ever and I’m hoping to do that better in my life online and offline. Welcome back! I hope that you find what you are hoping to here. |
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Deleted
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Nov 24, 2024 9:21:29 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 30, 2020 4:18:48 GMT
There is no question the folks on this board can be supportive, they can be informative, they can be helpful, & they can be funny.
And this is reflected in the majority of the threads on this board.
But why can’t that be the case for all the threads regardless of the topic?
We are adults, we should be able to engage with others without resorting to name calling, hurtful labeling, & pettiness if they don’t agree with how we see the world. Or say or do what we want them to.
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Post by pixiechick on Oct 30, 2020 7:17:15 GMT
There is no question the folks on this board can be supportive, they can be informative, they can be helpful, & they can be funny. And this is reflected in the majority of the threads on this board. But why can’t that be the case for all the threads regardless of the topic? We are adults, we should be able to engage with others without resorting to name calling, hurtful labeling, & pettiness if they don’t agree with how we see the world. Or say or do what we want them to. Yes! And good question, Freddie. I've taken steps not to follow that path and worked really hard to not fall back into it despite how I'm spoken to here. It's a problem that affects a lot of Peas enjoyment of the board, no matter which way it comes from. These are quotes from a single thread in the last couple of days. I really appreciate the Peas that took the time to share your opinions on this subject: OOH ok..I did just see a couple on that thread about violence after the election. Pretty sure that's what pushed her out. I was just saying in another thread that the Peas are trying really, really hard to run people off these days. I think peas are being a lot more personal in their attacks. JUST COULDN’T ACCEPT HER OPINIONS AND THE NAME CALLING & CURSING NEVER STOPPED FROM THE PITCHFORK PEAS. My own experience here is that there are a few very self righteous peas who make any comment they don’t agree with a call to arms. It’s disheartening. I haven’t blocked anyone. But I read less and less here because everything is a battle. And it’s the same battle every time, with the same comments from the same peas all agreeing with each other. A large group of peas have to spread their hate and ugliness into every corner of the board. Sadly they have changed the tone of the board. If you don’t think like them or agree with them you might be next. I do think that some of the comments towards peas have gotten very personal and mean. I am not happy that Leowife left... Calling names isn't helpful. I know that sometimes I "like" a post that is harsh (either in my brain or actually hit the like button) because my knee jerk reaction is to agree with it. But I am trying to be more aware of that. I think we should all pay more attention to what we say and respond in a way that we would in person, not just online. Yep - I love discussion, but everything here has become a fight and if you don't agree with someone then you must be an idiot. I think there are just a few peas who resort to the very specific, personal and nasty name calling. ...their delivery sucks, so I just put then on ignore. Couple that with the 2 or 3 that are just assholes in general... Granted they do post a damn lot, Now it's harder and harder to avoid the annoying peas. It's not just that the political discussions are heated - it's that the vast majority of threads are either completely inactive or devolve into the same ugliness. ETA and if people think that the only nastiness is people calling out racism, you're fooling yourselves. That is not what's going on here. If all we’re left with are the rabid thread hogs and no diversity of thought or position, I guess the prolific peas get what they want and a bubble they can all agree in. That’s not why I’m here. YMMV But she is allowed to have her opinion as well.That is what annoys me about this board. People are mocked and called names and cussed at if they dare to have a different opinion. We should be able to disagree and have a conversation without tearing each other down. I'm kind of sick of this continuous reaction when people point out that there are some bitches on here - and in general the board is not as entertaining - 'oh no the conservative peas are snowflakes calling us mean" coupled with "it was way worse back in the day." I saw somebody yesterday (wasn't paying attention to who it was, but I know others agreed with them) that said they didn't care if there were any conservatives on this board or something to that effect. I wish more people could be on the outside looking in and see how awful they are treating each other and be willing to listen and learn from each other. Some people just can't stand to have their views challenged. They are the ones who resort to name calling and intimidation. It's really shameful because there is A LOT to learn from opposing points of view. Simply pointing out when someone posts something blatantly false is met with derision and profanity. Someone frustrated with SIP orders is vilified. There was a multi page echo chamber rant on how fiscal conservatism really means you're a selfish bastard. Stop pretending that anytime someone disagrees with you they're an evil trump supporter and perhaps we could actually have dialogue on this board again. I don't have a problem with pushing back on something. But if it is clear that people are set on not moving on their position (which they have that right), wouldn't it be better to just let it go and move on?? Instead the threads go to hatefulness and personal attacks with a lot of F words thrown in for good measure. What does that accomplish? Dialogue is shut down at that point. I suspect the only way this will stop is if it becomes so unacceptable to do so based on overwhelming negative feedback to it. If everyone calls it out whenever we see it and pile on it, even if it comes from "your group", then people might think twice about doing it and just depend on better speech/ideas/facts in response to something you don't agree with, rather than personal attacks. |
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Post by gar on Oct 30, 2020 8:34:29 GMT
See, this attitude is what I don't understand. Yes, some threads have fights going on. So why do you read those? I just scanned down the first page of the board and here are threads that I think are not likely to be "ugly": -- putting up xmas trees -- hurricanes -- what do Dutch people living here miss? -- trick or treating -- games -- Animal Crossing --weekly reading -- what's for dinner -- xmas gift ideas -- International Quilt Festival -- face cream -- decluttering and organizing -- October crafting -- TV shows -- elderly pets  -- happy birthdays -- scams -- medical questions -- financial questions -- antiques -- Library Lady's interesting information Read (and participate) in any of those and you won't see too much "ugly". Not even between the Real Tree people and the Fake Tree people.  Did you miss the rumble on the Christmas Card Swap sign up thread that spilled over to a second thread of bitching? A Christmas Card Swap sign up thread. How benign is that? But yet. It all depends on who's involved doesn't it. |
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Post by peasapie on Oct 30, 2020 8:43:37 GMT
I have gotten testy with a couple peas. I think it was because of what all has been going on in my live and I felt like the other pea was telling me that my best wasn't good enough. That bugs me with my aunts too so it isn't just peas who make me feel like that. I have been trying to stay away as much as I can tbh. I am pretty tired, physically and emotionally. Supposed to be having a fun weekend next week so hopefully I will come back recharged. I hope you have a great, rejuvenating weekend. I find your posts so honest and sincere. |
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Post by monklady123 on Oct 30, 2020 9:43:57 GMT
See, this attitude is what I don't understand. Yes, some threads have fights going on. So why do you read those? I just scanned down the first page of the board and here are threads that I think are not likely to be "ugly": -- putting up xmas trees -- hurricanes -- what do Dutch people living here miss? -- trick or treating -- games -- Animal Crossing --weekly reading -- what's for dinner -- xmas gift ideas -- International Quilt Festival -- face cream -- decluttering and organizing -- October crafting -- TV shows -- elderly pets -- happy birthdays -- scams -- medical questions -- financial questions -- antiques -- Library Lady's interesting information Read (and participate) in any of those and you won't see too much "ugly". Not even between the Real Tree people and the Fake Tree people. Did you miss the rumble on the Christmas Card Swap sign up thread that spilled over to a second thread of bitching? A Christmas Card Swap sign up thread. How benign is that? But yet. Well...did you see "Christmas Card Swaps" on my list?  That one was bound to go downhill. |
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Deleted
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Nov 24, 2024 9:21:29 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 30, 2020 14:22:01 GMT
Did you miss the rumble on the Christmas Card Swap sign up thread that spilled over to a second thread of bitching? A Christmas Card Swap sign up thread. How benign is that? But yet. It all depends on who's involved doesn't it. I’m taking a wild guess here that you’re slamming someone that you think was responsible for starting the rumble. But here’s the thing, it takes two to rumble. And we are all responsible for the choices we make. If one does not like what another says, one has two choices on how they can respond. Which can say more about them then the person they are responding to. To be a bit clearer, one can either respond like an adult or a spoiled brat. Everything in life is about choices and how we chose to respond. IMO |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 30, 2020 14:24:10 GMT
Did you miss the rumble on the Christmas Card Swap sign up thread that spilled over to a second thread of bitching? A Christmas Card Swap sign up thread. How benign is that? But yet. Well...did you see "Christmas Card Swaps" on my list?  That one was bound to go downhill. Why was it bound to go downhill. It hadn’t the previous 5 years. So why this year? |
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Post by gar on Oct 30, 2020 14:55:06 GMT
It all depends on who's involved doesn't it. I’m taking a wild guess here that you’re slamming someone that you think was responsible for starting the rumble. But here’s the thing, it takes two to rumble. And we are all responsible for the choices we make. If one does not like what another says, one has two choices on how they can respond. Which can say more about them then the person they are responding to. To be a bit clearer, one can either respond like an adult or a spoiled brat. Everything in life is about choices and how we chose to respond. IMO I can see why you might think that but no, actually I was talking about threads in general that start off innocuously enough but somehow get derailed...and often that depends on who is taking part. I’m generalising but I’d say some folk are known for their strident, forthright styles while others are recognised as always keen to work hard to be super cautious and not offend. |
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Oct 30, 2020 15:45:23 GMT
Why was it bound to go downhill. It hadn’t the previous 5 years. oh, come on, now... there have been controversies about the card swap for at least the last few years. People counting how many cards got sent / received, people complaining / accusing others of joining and never intending to actually send cards but only to receive them, the discussions about the 'real vs. pea name' requirements, etc. There is always something that turns out a tad controversial about that swap. |
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Post by elaine on Oct 30, 2020 15:53:48 GMT
There is no question the folks on this board can be supportive, they can be informative, they can be helpful, & they can be funny. And this is reflected in the majority of the threads on this board. But why can’t that be the case for all the threads regardless of the topic? We are adults, we should be able to engage with others without resorting to name calling, hurtful labeling, & pettiness if they don’t agree with how we see the world. Or say or do what we want them to. Is this a rhetorical question? If it is, I will save my long response. My short answer is because of human nature. Show me one family that doesn’t have contentious arguments. Just one. Some families have many fewer arguments, but there is almost always aunt so-and-so or uncle blah-d-blah that gets on everyone’s last nerve. Mom who spews a long list of complaints about SIL Sharon in the kitchen after the family leaves. Etc. You fill in your own family examples. We sometimes fight the loudest with the people we care the most about. And families are much much smaller than the group we have here. And here we don’t have the luxury of talking about someone behind their back, or if that does happen off-board, people are rightfully upset by it (see Garden Girls drama of years ago). I have to admit to be somewhat pissy about this whole thread. It feels like a huge handslap about something that will never change, no matter how hard you keep hitting people over the head with your disappointment and frustration that we all are human here. |
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gramma
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,114
Location: Sacramento, Ca
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Post by gramma on Oct 30, 2020 15:54:54 GMT
I was around in the "old days" - the board was so brutal (in my opinion) that I rarely posted. The few times I did (remember the Harry Potter controversy?) I got slammed. So I left. I came across the 2 Peas Refugees board and jumped back in.
I have seen unprecedented support for one another here. I have seen Peas share the great news in their lives. I have seen differing views expressed - without spite and hatefulness. I've seen humor. But when a post turns into one Pea calling another awful, hateful, vile names it's just too much. I can't believe that the same people who post about the birth of a child or grandchild use that sort of language. What purpose does it serve to call someone stupid, unenlightened, racist and more??
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Post by gar on Oct 30, 2020 15:57:27 GMT
My short answer is because of human nature. And I'd say it was unrealistic too to be honest, life just isn't like that. |
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Post by elaine on Oct 30, 2020 16:03:42 GMT
My short answer is because of human nature. And I'd say it was unrealistic too to be honest, life just isn't like that. Yes, it is unrealistic because of human nature. No long term relationship has absolutely no friction. And we have thousands (tens or hundreds of thousands) of relationships here on this board if you take each pea’s relationship with each other pea. Some people will voice their frustrations- not everyone follows the “if you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all” motto. Nor should they be expected to, simply because some people have issues with conflict. eta: and to reiterate my earlier post. This place has been overwhelmingly supportive of me in times when I desperately needed it. The women here have come through time and time again. AND I have been the target of my share of nastiness too, so it isn’t as though I haven’t experienced that side of the coin also. That ugliness is unimportant TO ME, because it is what it is and is what happens on messageboards, especially when I balance the small amount of conflict with how much positive I see here on a daily basis. It is up to us to choose what we focus on, because there will ALWAYS be conflict here along with the beautiful support and witty humor of the women in our pea family. |
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,861
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Post by scrapngranny on Oct 30, 2020 16:09:45 GMT
I’m not completely sure what fighting and bickering you are referring to.
Compared to other election years, this year’s rhetoric is not much different. Political conversations are clearly labeled and easily avoided. We are all dealing with a pandemic, something never faced before on 2 Peas. I’ve seen more vents than fighting on these threads. These are not lollipop and rainbows threads, but they do reflect life as we know it right now.
The Christmas card thread is the only thread I’ve noticed that went sideways. I don’t participate in the card swap, so paid little attention to want was going on. When I noticed it was turning ugly, I skimmed a few of the pages. I could sort of understand each side a little bit, but couldn’t figure out why it turned personal.
One the whole I don’t think this board is anywhere near the hostility of the old board, and that’s a good thing. If there is nothing that interests you currently on the board, start some topics you do find interesting. From reading the list of current threads someone posted cover a wide range of topics.
This board is what we make it.
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Deleted
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Nov 24, 2024 9:21:29 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 30, 2020 17:08:24 GMT
Just speaking for myself, I love the bickering and sniping here. Especially when it’s political. The train wrecks, the clusterf*cks, the self-righteousness, the condescension, the bitchiness, the takedowns, the bar brawls, the hypocrisies, the mudslinging, the hairflips, etc. Sometimes I don’t bother watching TV at night because the drama is better here. That said, it’s equally attractive because of the caring – when a pea is suffering, or someone she loved had passed, or she’s getting divorced, or she’s ill, or she simply just can’t manage to get up in the morning anymore…whatever…Peadom comes to the rescue. And the rest? When a pea can’t figure out something? When a pea wants validation and a boost? When a frustrated pea just wants to vent? When a pea needs prayers? Peadom. There’s nothing too banal or too complex that Peadom won’t and can’t handle. The worst in us? Yeah, probably. The best in us? Most definitely. Because we’re just humans. I agree with this, 100%! Well-said!!!!!!! You happen to be one of the most informative, caring, sweet Peas on here.......
I love this place for the support, information and (mostly) women supporting women. When it gets nasty, I step aside for a while...
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Deleted
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Nov 24, 2024 9:21:29 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2020 15:46:06 GMT
The reason I started this thread had to do with how I saw the treatment of leowife.
IMO that whole thing and how it went down was not this board’s finest hour. At one point while talking to a friend I asked her how come women can’t interact with each other without turning into first class bitches? She knows I spend most of my time on political threads and thought I talking about a political thread and thought I joking when I said it was happening on the Christmas Card swap thread.
The reason I dragged this thread back from the dead is on another thread I was taken to task for essentially using the term “you are not paying attention”. I was told that it was rude in one post and in another post comments I made on this thread were used I guess it was this person’s way of saying I was not practicing what I had preached on this thread. Ok fair enough, everyone is entitled to their opinion.
Below is something I posted on another thread. Some folks may agree, some may think it’s a bunch of garbage. 🤷🏻♀️
To those who has a problem with the term “you’re not paying attention” I say look at items 1, 2, 10, & 11.
And if I ever reach the level of pettiness and nastiness that was displayed toward leowife starting with Christmas Card swap thread and ending with the thread started for peas to say goodbye, please feel free to quote me from this thread. Because it will remind me I’m slipping into being someone I don’t want to be.
This sounds kind of preachy doesn’t it. It’s not meant to be. I just think we can all do better. Are we always going to succeed? No, because we are human but that is no reason not to keep trying. John Kennedy said in one of his speeches “civility is not a sign of weakness.” I would also add being civil costs us nothing but could go a long way in getting our points across.
What I have observed and learned posting on this board.
1. Almost everything is subjective. There are very few truths that everyone can agree on.
2. A lot of stuff gets lost in the translation when posting on a general board like this. The reason is because you can’t see or hear the person posting. And I find personally it does make a difference.
3. This board is a microcosm of the world outside this board. We are able to interact with folks we would normally wouldn’t in our little world off this board. Which can be both a good thing and a not so good thing.
4. Opinions. Our opinions belong to each of as individuals. A lot of things go into the opinions we form. Some are silly like why would any restaurant think it’s a good idea to put apple slices in my turkey sandwich? Or more serious opinions. I think a lot us are protective of certain opinions we form. And that when we share them and they aren’t well received by others we become defensive. Because I also think way down deep we want everyone to agree with our opinions.
5. Opinions pushed as facts. It’s either or, they can’t be the same. Facts certainly go into forming one’s opinion, but I think other things also go into forming opinions as well. When facts are just that, facts.
6. Assumptions. Someone a long long time ago told me that people who make assumptions without facts often end up looking foolish. IMO this person was right because on more then one occasion over the years I have made assumptions without knowing all the facts and it did not end well.
7. Labeling. This I have a slight problem with. Too many times people will label someone something when in fact they aren’t what they are being labeled. There was a brief discussion on this thread that if someone made racist remarks should they be called on it. Certainly call them out on that remark or remarks , but unless you’re positive they are a full fledge racist like BunkerBoy don’t call the person a racist. Taking into consideration items 1 & 2 or the fact they may not have thought through what they were posting, a simple call out may be what is needed to point out the comment was inappropriate.
8. Which brings me to the hand slapping brigade. I understand why it should be done. But once the first person does it, does a whole army of hand slappers need to follow with their own version of hand slapping for this individual? Wouldn’t one hand slapper post with a lot of likes be better then “beating up” the intended target?
9. Knowing when to walk away from a discussion. This is tough because I think a lot of us have a bit of Mrs. Tyler in us in that we want to get in the last word. Or that if we try one more time we can get that person to agree with us. You know because it’s your opinion and you want everyone to agree with it. But there comes a point when it’s pointless and you just got to walk away.
10. How we treat each other’s opinion. I like it when people offer their opinions on things. I may not agree with it but I still like reading it because it may cause me to ponder something I hadn’t thought about before. I have also come to the sad realization that not everyone is going to agree with mine and for the most part I’m ok with it. When I want to respond to someone’s somewhat negative response to my opinion or respond to someone’s opinion I disagree with, I really try and do it in a straightforward way with no emotion. But keeping in mind items 1& 2 it ain’t always that easy. But you keep trying.
11. Which brings me to the tone of a thread or a post. Items 1&2 play a huge part in one’s perception of “tone”. There is always someone who will have a problem with the tone you set. In other words you can’t please everyone and could go crazy trying so all you can do is the best that you can.
12. Threads “you” don’t like and the jello mold brigade. This is where “someone” decides they don’t like a particular thread and “invites” other members of the jello mold brigade to post recipes by posting a recipe therefore signaling its time to derail this thread. This I don’t get. If one doesn’t like a thread just ignore it. It will die. Sooner without all the posting of recipes. Just don’t get it. But whatever floats your boat.
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Post by malibou on Nov 7, 2020 16:42:19 GMT
I swore up and down I wasn't going to read this thread because I was sure it would make me sad. However, I'm a very long time pea, and really do know that resistance is futile. 😁
I'm glad I read it. Yeah, things get ugly sometimes, and every time it makes my heart hurt. I'm not political to speak of, so I scroll on past the marked threads. Sometimes I feel like there isn't much else on here, and then I remember it's the same IRL and I move along reading about the lives of people that I don't actually know IRL. And I'm thrilled I get to do so. Whether or not the feeling is mutual, there are loads and loads, probably even butt loads of peas, past and present, that I would like to meet.
You peaple make me happy, informed, giggly, enabled, smarter, you get the picture.
Thank you, each and every one of you, for enriching my life by being you.
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Post by pixiechick on Nov 8, 2020 0:32:29 GMT
The reason I started this thread had to do with how I saw the treatment of leowife. IMO that whole thing and how it went down was not this board’s finest hour. At one point while talking to a friend I asked her how come women can’t interact with each other without turning into first class bitches? She knows I spend most of my time on political threads and thought I talking about a political thread and thought I joking when I said it was happening on the Christmas Card swap thread. The reason I dragged this thread back from the dead is on another thread I was taken to task for essentially using the term “you are not paying attention”. I was told that it was rude in one post and in another post comments I made on this thread were used I guess it was this person’s way of saying I was not practicing what I had preached on this thread. Ok fair enough, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Below is something I posted on another thread. Some folks may agree, some may think it’s a bunch of garbage. 🤷🏻♀️ To those who has a problem with the term “you’re not paying attention” I say look at items 1, 2, 10, & 11. And if I ever reach the level of pettiness and nastiness that was displayed toward leowife starting with Christmas Card swap thread and ending with the thread started for peas to say goodbye, please feel free to quote me from this thread. Because it will remind me I’m slipping into being someone I don’t want to be. This sounds kind of preachy doesn’t it. It’s not meant to be. I just think we can all do better. Are we always going to succeed? No, because we are human but that is no reason not to keep trying. John Kennedy said in one of his speeches “civility is not a sign of weakness.” I would also add being civil costs us nothing but could go a long way in getting our points across. What I have observed and learned posting on this board.
1. Almost everything is subjective. There are very few truths that everyone can agree on.
2. A lot of stuff gets lost in the translation when posting on a general board like this. The reason is because you can’t see or hear the person posting. And I find personally it does make a difference.
3. This board is a microcosm of the world outside this board. We are able to interact with folks we would normally wouldn’t in our little world off this board. Which can be both a good thing and a not so good thing.
4. Opinions. Our opinions belong to each of as individuals. A lot of things go into the opinions we form. Some are silly like why would any restaurant think it’s a good idea to put apple slices in my turkey sandwich? Or more serious opinions. I think a lot us are protective of certain opinions we form. And that when we share them and they aren’t well received by others we become defensive. Because I also think way down deep we want everyone to agree with our opinions.
5. Opinions pushed as facts. It’s either or, they can’t be the same. Facts certainly go into forming one’s opinion, but I think other things also go into forming opinions as well. When facts are just that, facts.
6. Assumptions. Someone a long long time ago told me that people who make assumptions without facts often end up looking foolish. IMO this person was right because on more then one occasion over the years I have made assumptions without knowing all the facts and it did not end well.
7. Labeling. This I have a slight problem with. Too many times people will label someone something when in fact they aren’t what they are being labeled. There was a brief discussion on this thread that if someone made racist remarks should they be called on it. Certainly call them out on that remark or remarks , but unless you’re positive they are a full fledge racist like BunkerBoy don’t call the person a racist. Taking into consideration items 1 & 2 or the fact they may not have thought through what they were posting, a simple call out may be what is needed to point out the comment was inappropriate.
8. Which brings me to the hand slapping brigade. I understand why it should be done. But once the first person does it, does a whole army of hand slappers need to follow with their own version of hand slapping for this individual? Wouldn’t one hand slapper post with a lot of likes be better then “beating up” the intended target?
9. Knowing when to walk away from a discussion. This is tough because I think a lot of us have a bit of Mrs. Tyler in us in that we want to get in the last word. Or that if we try one more time we can get that person to agree with us. You know because it’s your opinion and you want everyone to agree with it. But there comes a point when it’s pointless and you just got to walk away.
10. How we treat each other’s opinion. I like it when people offer their opinions on things. I may not agree with it but I still like reading it because it may cause me to ponder something I hadn’t thought about before. I have also come to the sad realization that not everyone is going to agree with mine and for the most part I’m ok with it. When I want to respond to someone’s somewhat negative response to my opinion or respond to someone’s opinion I disagree with, I really try and do it in a straightforward way with no emotion. But keeping in mind items 1& 2 it ain’t always that easy. But you keep trying.
11. Which brings me to the tone of a thread or a post. Items 1&2 play a huge part in one’s perception of “tone”. There is always someone who will have a problem with the tone you set. In other words you can’t please everyone and could go crazy trying so all you can do is the best that you can.
12. Threads “you” don’t like and the jello mold brigade. This is where “someone” decides they don’t like a particular thread and “invites” other members of the jello mold brigade to post recipes by posting a recipe therefore signaling its time to derail this thread. This I don’t get. If one doesn’t like a thread just ignore it. It will die. Sooner without all the posting of recipes. Just don’t get it. But whatever floats your boat.
I agree with everything you said here!!! Just one thing with the last sentence. I don't think "whatever floats your boat" is a good reason to be rude and the "jello mold brigade" is flat out rude. (for the record I don't think you do either, but someone else might think it's a good reason) They decide to flood a thread with rudeness and then wonder why someone would post what she wanted to say and then not bother to respond anymore. One particular poster comes to mind. It's like the "jello mold brigade" has no self awareness of how they contribute to the "problem" they complain about. But beyond that, I agree with everything else you said. |
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Post by peano on Nov 8, 2020 2:15:39 GMT
It really seems you are having trouble letting go of the Christmas card swap thread @freddie. I’m going to leave my rejoicing for just a moment to reply, but will not address it again. I (and everyone else) have moved on. Maybe you should too. At this point, your continued harping on this just feels weird and off. We have two separate card swaps, both with a healthy number of participants, that suit the participants based upon their level of comfort with the rules. A lot of holiday cheer is going to be spread and nobody has to feel unsafe. It seems like a win-win to me.
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Post by pixiechick on Nov 8, 2020 20:44:02 GMT
It really seems you are having trouble letting go of the Christmas card swap thread @freddie . I’m going to leave my rejoicing for just a moment to reply, but will not address it again. I (and everyone else) have moved on. Maybe you should too. At this point, your continued harping on this just feels weird and off. We have two separate card swaps, both with a healthy number of participants, that suit the participants based upon their level of comfort with the rules. A lot of holiday cheer is going to be spread and nobody has to feel unsafe. It seems like a win-win to me. You, who carries things from thread to thread because you can't "let it go and move on" are telling someone else they need to "let it go and move on"? Okay. |
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Post by peano on Nov 8, 2020 20:54:17 GMT
It really seems you are having trouble letting go of the Christmas card swap thread @freddie . I’m going to leave my rejoicing for just a moment to reply, but will not address it again. I (and everyone else) have moved on. Maybe you should too. At this point, your continued harping on this just feels weird and off. We have two separate card swaps, both with a healthy number of participants, that suit the participants based upon their level of comfort with the rules. A lot of holiday cheer is going to be spread and nobody has to feel unsafe. It seems like a win-win to me. You, who carries things from thread to thread because you can't "let it go and move on" are telling someone else they need to "let it go and move on"? Okay. I’m really not understanding why you felt the need to insinuate yourself into an issue that @freddie still apparently has with the Christmas card swap controversy that I instigated. I had put it to bed weeks ago, both swaps are going smoothly, but I noticed SHE resurrected it yet again. It seems that now the election is over, you may be struggling with something to fill your time with, instead of trolling political posts. Are you enrolled in one of the card swaps? |
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Post by pixiechick on Nov 8, 2020 21:16:46 GMT
You, who carries things from thread to thread because you can't "let it go and move on" are telling someone else they need to "let it go and move on"? Okay. I’m really not understanding why you felt the need to insinuate yourself into an issue that @freddie still apparently has with the Christmas card swap controversy that I instigated. I had put it to bed weeks ago, both swaps are going smoothly, but I noticed SHE resurrected it yet again. It seems that now the election is over, you may be struggling with something to fill your time with, instead of trolling political posts. Are you enrolled in one of the card swaps? To quote your pal Elaine: "People can and will respond on threads with whatever information they feel is relevant to the discussion and the points they want to make. Internet Message Boards 101." To quote her again in response to your attempt at diminishing of my input about you diminishing someone's input: "It is a fascinating tactic to try to shut down discussion that I don’t think will be very effective." |
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Post by peano on Nov 8, 2020 21:19:45 GMT
I’m really not understanding why you felt the need to insinuate yourself into an issue that @freddie still apparently has with the Christmas card swap controversy that I instigated. I had put it to bed weeks ago, both swaps are going smoothly, but I noticed SHE resurrected it yet again. It seems that now the election is over, you may be struggling with something to fill your time with, instead of trolling political posts. Are you enrolled in one of the card swaps? To quote your pal Elaine: "People can and will respond on threads with whatever information they feel is relevant to the discussion and the points they want to make. Internet Message Boards 101." To quote her again in response to your attempt at diminishing of my input about you diminishing someone's input: "It is a fascinating tactic to try to shut down discussion that I don’t think will be very effective." But you don’t have a point. Go away Gia. You’re harshing my post-election mellow. |
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Post by pixiechick on Nov 8, 2020 21:23:56 GMT
To quote your pal Elaine: "People can and will respond on threads with whatever information they feel is relevant to the discussion and the points they want to make. Internet Message Boards 101." To quote her again in response to your attempt at diminishing of my input about you diminishing someone's input: "It is a fascinating tactic to try to shut down discussion that I don’t think will be very effective." But you don’t have a point. Go away Gia. You’re harshing my post-election mellow. You have made my point and I will not go away. |
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Nov 24, 2024 9:21:29 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 8, 2020 22:18:28 GMT
It really seems you are having trouble letting go of the Christmas card swap thread @freddie . I’m going to leave my rejoicing for just a moment to reply, but will not address it again. I (and everyone else) have moved on. Maybe you should too. At this point, your continued harping on this just feels weird and off. We have two separate card swaps, both with a healthy number of participants, that suit the participants based upon their level of comfort with the rules. A lot of holiday cheer is going to be spread and nobody has to feel unsafe. It seems like a win-win to me. It would appear that my post on why I dragged this thread back from the dead was not clear to you. The way I see it I have two options. I can either take another run of explaining why or I can 🤷🏻♀️. I chose 🤷🏻♀️. I like these emojis things, except I’m never sure if I’m using the correct ones. Continued harping. Interesting. That chain of events not only didn’t have to happen and it shouldn’t have happened and if you don’t understand that. 🤷🏻♀️ |
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That one was bound to go downhill.
That one was bound to go downhill.
