eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Nov 11, 2014 0:30:04 GMT
My child picked out the cutest little owl charmed necklace at a craft fair. She determined that it was beyond perfect as this teacher has owls over apples. Her little face lit up with the glow of "it is better to give..." It was such a sweet gesture and the pure childlike enthusiasm was refreshing... So I plopped down the $15.
It it is not fancy and probably a rip off as it was at a rather expensive fair. This teacher has lacked tact and does not give off the warm and fuzzy vibe. I'm worried that she will somehow make my kiddo feel bad about the necklace. And I really don't think it is a great gift and I'm sure she would rather have the Michaels gift card she has hinted at in nearly every interaction with parents. I'm not at this point giving her both. As we have done every year, the kid will write a nice note as well.
However... This teacher is just not pleasant. Efficient, perhaps to the point of anal. Very, very direct to the point of blunt. She's just cold. And because of that I can see her hurting my special snowflake's feelings over a stupid present that was picked out so sweetly.
I've thought about "losing" it until the end of school year and give it then. Then I could justify the gift card as well. Lie to my kid so her feelings are spared kind of thing.
WWYD? As far as her job, I think she does it so this isn't something I'm taking to the principal. Kid is going to have to get used to all kinds of adults, I just don't want her gift giving spirit crushed. Does that make sense? This is 2nd grade if it matters.
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Post by nightnurse on Nov 11, 2014 0:34:49 GMT
I'd let her give the gift. She's excited about it, and I can't imagine any teacher of elementary school kids hasn't learned how to accept all types of gifts.
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Post by lesleyanne on Nov 11, 2014 0:43:25 GMT
Can you give it during parent-teacher interviews?
And just a thought -- I think sometimes parental interactions with teachers are different than how they are with our kids. I've had a few teachers that I've walked away from thinking, WTH just happened??? but I know that my kid adored and looked up to them so something must have been different with the teacher-kid interactions.
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Post by freecharlie on Nov 11, 2014 0:52:22 GMT
Igh, the way you describe her makes me question what I am about to say, but I would never let a child know b I didn't like something. In fact, there has never been a gift from a child I didn't like. There were some I didn't use, but never something that didn't mean something to me.
If she lacks tact though, I would be concerned. Shit like that can scar a kid.
Maybe she would be one of those who opens gifts at home and writes thank you notes.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856 
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Nov 11, 2014 0:53:21 GMT
I can't imagine a adult making a child feel bad over a gift. I would just give it to her with you there. Or maybe talk your daughter into giving it to someone else that you think will like it. Then just her the Michaels card she is wanting lol then again I'd have a hard time getting a gift for someone who keeps dropping hints on what to get them.
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Nov 11, 2014 1:22:38 GMT
DD picked out a plant for first day of school. It was her idea so again I bought it, tied the bow and first day of school she carried it in. She handed it to her and she said through gritted teeth,"Oh look a plant on day one. Put it over there." She did write a thank you card. Kid didn't notice, I did. So yes, this is probably my fear over my kid's.
At conferences we mentioned something personal our daughter struggles with. It's just a trait she has that we are trying to break but it has a biological component we can't control. That didn't go well.... It is just hard to explain. She is like Sheldon on Big Bang without the extremism. Just cold, blunt, and clinical.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Nov 11, 2014 1:26:00 GMT
I'd let her give the gift. She's excited about it, and I can't imagine any teacher of elementary school kids hasn't learned how to accept all types of gifts.  I think you're overthinking this. |
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:22:12 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2014 1:32:25 GMT
Can you give it during parent-teacher interviews? And just a thought -- I think sometimes parental interactions with teachers are different than how they are with our kids. I've had a few teachers that I've walked away from thinking, WTH just happened??? but I know that my kid adored and looked up to them so something must have been different with the teacher-kid interactions. This. My oldest had a first grade teacher who came across as "my way or the highway" to parents. Our room mom found her difficult to work with because she had extremely specific requests. My daughter loved her so much to the point that she sought her out every birthday in the years following to bring a cupcake to her classroom (back when they were allowed to take cupcakes to school). I truly hope that this teacher receives this gift in a thankful way, whatever she might be thinking inside. |
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kelly8875
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Location: Lost in my supplies...
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Post by kelly8875 on Nov 11, 2014 1:37:30 GMT
Let her give her teacher the gift she picked out. This teacher is going to get all sorts of gifts, most of which hopefully will not be Michaels gift cards... I'm sure the excitement on her little face as she gives her gift will show, and it will give your DD the joy she is hoping for in the GIVING part of gifts.
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,107
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Nov 11, 2014 1:58:34 GMT
Have your daughter write a note telling the story of how she got it. The excitement, everything. Include it would th the gift.
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Post by Merge on Nov 11, 2014 2:25:37 GMT
Let her give the gift. Include the note explaining how she picked it out.
Lots of us who teach young children aren't as "good" with adults. She may be very different with the kids, as others have pointed out.
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Post by momof3pits on Nov 11, 2014 2:27:24 GMT
Have her give her the gift and make sure to be there with her to play up just how much thought went into it. A very played up, "she immediately thought of you and was so excited to make you smile!!!!"
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ellen
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,128
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Post by ellen on Nov 11, 2014 2:31:47 GMT
Have your daughter just give it as she'd give a gift to any other teacher. I'm guessing the teacher will react just fine. Not everyone is warm and fuzzy, but that doesn't mean that they aren't kind.
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Post by Skellinton on Nov 11, 2014 2:34:34 GMT
I also think you are over thinking it, and even if you aren't most kids aren't as perceptive as we like to think they are. There was a teacher in my building who was just down right unpleasant and I never ever witnessed any warmth when she dealt with kids or overheard a pleasant interaction, yet her students loved her. Seriously, I overheard one parent say (after finding out their child was assigned this cold teacher), "well, at least we have Murgatroyd coming in a few years, maybe they will get Ms. KindTeacner."
Let your daughter give the present she chose, I am sure it will be fine!
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Post by hop2 on Nov 11, 2014 2:35:53 GMT
I would let your daughter give the gift she has picked out. I can't imagine a teacher not appearing thankful weather or not she really is. I mean who could look an adorable child radiating with gift giving joy and not be thankful for that alone!
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Post by Erica on Nov 11, 2014 2:40:48 GMT
She has already shown her unpleasantness. While I can understand your daughter's excitement, I wouldn't send in the gift. Not even a Michael's giftcard.
I do know all teachers are not that. My answer is in response to THIS teacher only.
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Nov 11, 2014 2:54:17 GMT
I would let your daughter give the gift she has picked out. I can't imagine a teacher not appearing thankful weather or not she really is. I mean who could look an adorable child radiating with gift giving joy and not be thankful for that alone! I should edit my post to include my other info. But she has looked at an adorable child radiating with gift giving joy and dismissed her. So yes, that interaction has clouded my imagination. On a pea level of how much sleep I'm going lose over this it is a one. The adult in me says you get what you get and you don't how a fit. A gift is a gift. And I am under no obligation to give a gift. As a mom, who got to witness the child like glee that comes with the perfect gift, I am anxious that teacher will erase that glee with her behavior. As with most things, either way it will create a learning moment. My my mom has been an educator for 40 years this year. She used to get so many little gifts and you'd think she was given the Hope diamond. This teacher seems bothered to interact on that level. KWIM? |
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Post by mom2samlibby on Nov 11, 2014 3:00:59 GMT
I would let your daughter give the gift she has picked out. I can't imagine a teacher not appearing thankful weather or not she really is. I mean who could look an adorable child radiating with gift giving joy and not be thankful for that alone! I should edit my post to include my other info. But she has looked at an adorable child radiating with gift giving joy and dismissed her. So yes, that interaction has clouded my imagination. On a pea level of how much sleep I'm going lose over this it is a one. The adult in me says you get what you get and you don't how a fit. A gift is a gift. And I am under no obligation to give a gift. As a mom, who got to witness the child like glee that comes with the perfect gift, I am anxious that teacher will erase that glee with her behavior. As with most things, either way it will create a learning moment. My my mom has been an educator for 40 years this year. She used to get so many little gifts and you'd think she was given the Hope diamond. This teacher seems bothered to interact on that level. KWIM? How is she with the kids when adults aren't present? My dd had a teacher that I thought was like that also. Very cold vibe, however the kids loved her. She was great with the kids. I'd give the gift. Your Daughter picked it for her and you've already bought it. |
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Nov 11, 2014 3:06:10 GMT
I would let your daughter give the gift she has picked out. I can't imagine a teacher not appearing thankful weather or not she really is. I mean who could look an adorable child radiating with gift giving joy and not be thankful for that alone! I should edit my post to include my other info. But she has looked at an adorable child radiating with gift giving joy and dismissed her. So yes, that interaction has clouded my imagination. Although.... a plant is a living thing that has to be regularly tended to. A necklace, not so much. |
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Post by julieinmd on Nov 11, 2014 3:29:06 GMT
This poor teacher. She sounds like she can do her job well but she doesn't know what is really important. One of my favorite gifts ever is a big apple necklace that says [HASH]1 teacher on it. My students were so excited. They were playing in the neighborhood one day and came across it at a yard sale. Apparently they all decided to buy it for me and ran home and found whatever change they could because it cost "a whole dollar"! I wear that necklace proudly! Kids are so awesome! I'd let your daughter give the gift to her teacher and use this as an opportunity to teach her that people react to things in different ways. It maybe doesn't mean they love the gift any less, but they just don't show it in the same way that others might.
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SabrinaP
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Busy Teacher Pea
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Post by SabrinaP on Nov 11, 2014 3:36:46 GMT
You're borrowing trouble. Let your poor DD give her teacher the gift. If something happens after that address it then.
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ellen
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,128
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Post by ellen on Nov 11, 2014 3:39:25 GMT
The first day of school is chaotic. I have 25 kids plus their parents coming at me. Is it possible that her demeanor that day was just a bit frazzled. She wrote your daughter a thank you note, but you want her to gush over it. I totally think you are overthinking this. If you don't want your daughter to give her a gift, then don't. You can be the one who ruins the gift giving for your daughter.
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sweetpeasmom
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Post by sweetpeasmom on Nov 11, 2014 3:47:46 GMT
Is it possible that your child see something in this teacher that you don't? It just sounds like to me that if your child lit up as much as you say when she saw the gift, she might see past the bluntness and really enjoy the teacher.
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anniebygaslight
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I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
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Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Nov 11, 2014 5:13:16 GMT
Why are you giving a gift to a teacher you clearly dislike, and who, from the sound of it, has not had the warmest relationship with you child? Just curious.
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Post by PEArfect on Nov 11, 2014 5:30:39 GMT
I would help your daughter write a note about how excited she was when she found the 'perfect gift.' Then have the teacher open it. She would have to be heartless not to at least smile and pretend that she liked it. It sounds like a very thoughtful gift to me. It's not about the money spent, or the gift itself. It's the sentiment that counts. My youngest daughter learned about poetry in K. She loved it so much she started her own poetry journal at home. Her teacher had a poetry reading night in the classroom and made it a Paris theme. The kids wore berets and cited their poems into a microphone. It was adorable. Anyway, when it came time to choose a gift for her teacher my daughter wanted to give her an acrostic poem using her teacher's name. Every letter was about something that she had learned in class, liked to do in class, or something she liked about her teacher. My daughter got into my scrapbooking supplies and really 'bedazzled' her poem. Her teacher loved it, and she shared it with the class. It hung up in her room for the rest of the year. I did get her a gift at the end of the year too.  |
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:22:12 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2014 5:33:02 GMT
My child picked out the cutest little owl charmed necklace at a craft fair. She determined that it was beyond perfect as this teacher has owls over apples. Her little face lit up with the glow of "it is better to give..." It was such a sweet gesture and the pure childlike enthusiasm was refreshing... So I plopped down the $15. It it is not fancy and probably a rip off as it was at a rather expensive fair. This teacher has lacked tact and does not give off the warm and fuzzy vibe. I'm worried that she will somehow make my kiddo feel bad about the necklace. And I really don't think it is a great gift and I'm sure she would rather have the Michaels gift card she has hinted at in nearly every interaction with parents. I'm not at this point giving her both. As we have done every year, the kid will write a nice note as well. However... This teacher is just not pleasant. Efficient, perhaps to the point of anal. Very, very direct to the point of blunt. She's just cold. And because of that I can see her hurting my special snowflake's feelings over a stupid present that was picked out so sweetly. I've thought about "losing" it until the end of school year and give it then. Then I could justify the gift card as well. Lie to my kid so her feelings are spared kind of thing. WWYD? As far as her job, I think she does it so this isn't something I'm taking to the principal. Kid is going to have to get used to all kinds of adults, I just don't want her gift giving spirit crushed. Does that make sense? This is 2nd grade if it matters. I have had zero problems with my kids teachers throughout the years except for one. She sounds just like your dd's teacher. I'd let your daughter give her the necklace and a note indicating why it was given and hope for the best.  |
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Nov 11, 2014 12:41:17 GMT
Why are you giving a gift to a teacher you clearly dislike, and who, from the sound of it, has not had the warmest relationship with you child? Just curious. It is customary in our house to give gifts to teachers. We appreciate what they do. We fully know that their job is not one that I would succeed with so we like to recognize them. It is also the holidays and my children enjoy the gift giving aspect of the holidays. I personally don't care if she likes the gift or not, I care that her reaction/ behavior will impact me kid. As stated previously, it creates a teaching moment. The big whiner in me doesn't want to have to deal with it during an already stressful time. Thank you for discussing this with me. Please, for the love of all peas holy, do not try to blow this out of proportion. I'm really not taking it as seriously as many of you assume but I do very much appreciate your feedback. I blame this on "the peas" though.... 14 years of teacher gift threads have gotten to me!!   |
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Post by krazykatlady on Nov 11, 2014 12:52:17 GMT
Maybe it can just be a life learning experience for your daughter. If the teacher responds negatively you talk to her about life and how some people don't always react like we think they should. Help her focus on the act of giving without expectation of receiving something in return. We read about it every day on this board and know she's going to have to learn how to deal with this type of rejection eventually. And then hug her and tell how differently you would have received this gift if you were the recipient.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Nov 11, 2014 13:10:34 GMT
This tickled me. You've got a good head on your shoulders... but you really are building this up too much in your own head. Let your daughter give her the gift in whatever way is customary in the classroom (which may mean you are not present and that's okay). I'm betting it will all go fine.
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grinningcat
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Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Nov 11, 2014 13:16:20 GMT
Just let her give the gift. She probably has a different relationship with the teacher than you do.
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I think you're overthinking this.
