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Post by lisacharlotte on Apr 19, 2021 4:16:03 GMT
My 74 year old uncle lives with us. He is the only one unvaccinated. He doesn’t leave the house except to smoke in the backyard. He is of sound mind and has made his decision to not get vaccinated. It was made available to him. The rest of the household is vaccinated and I'm the only one working outside the home. I don’t plan on kicking him out.
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tracylynn
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Post by tracylynn on Apr 19, 2021 4:33:49 GMT
My 74 year old uncle lives with us. He is the only one unvaccinated. He doesn’t leave the house except to smoke in the backyard. He is of sound mind and has made his decision to not get vaccinated. It was made available to him. The rest of the household is vaccinated and I'm the only one working outside the home. I don’t plan on kicking him out. I think this is different. He doesn't leave the house you said. My guess is a young adult doesn't live by those same standards.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Apr 19, 2021 4:39:16 GMT
While that is true, I have a kid who is truly phobic. But her fear of Covid outweighed her fear of needles, thankfully. This is my kid too, and even she has said she will get the vaccination once she can! She is so afraid of getting Covid. I got my first Pfizer shot last Thursday and OMG, it was such a nothingburger. I swear I barely even felt it. My arm was a little bit sore later on that afternoon and the next day but I think my last flu shot hurt more. I was so relieved to be able to honestly tell my kid that it wasn’t bad. I hope the second one is the same.
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Post by calgaryscrapper on Apr 19, 2021 5:15:53 GMT
Does he have good health care? So, his plan is to not receive the vaccine. What is his plan if he gets Covid? Where to stay, how to care for himself etc
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 19, 2021 11:13:24 GMT
I think this is the time to explain to your adult offspring doing things for the greater good. It's not only for the greater good of your household, but for the greater good of the world. If we don't get to herd immunity, eventually a variant will appear that is vaccine resistant and we'll be right back where we started.
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johnnysmom
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Post by johnnysmom on Apr 19, 2021 11:14:12 GMT
My Dh isn’t going to get vaccinated. I plan to let him continue to live here. I understand his concerns- I wasn’t sure I was going to do it either, or at least I thought I might wait longer, but I changed my mind. Same. Well actually dh might bc mil is riding him to do it 😆. Ds19 says he won’t but grandma is working in him too. I don’t understand the hard line some peas draw but perhaps they are of higher risk than we are.
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Post by cakediva on Apr 19, 2021 11:23:54 GMT
Just a little story to share on the needle phobia part.
My pharmacist (also a friend through business networking groups) has a needle phobia. So much so, that while the other pharmacists on her staff will give flu shots, she can't even be in the same room.
But she believes so strongly in the Covid vaccine, that she went and took the course to be certified to give needles, and has been practicing on oranges as instructed. She was certified to give needles a couple weeks ago. And she announced it on her pharmacy page -that she didn't scream or pass out. LOL
But that's how strongly she believes this is the way out.
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peabay
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Post by peabay on Apr 19, 2021 11:27:00 GMT
Employers can require their employees to get the shot, so I can certainly require people living in my house to do it. He’s an adult. Living with his parents isn’t a right, it’s a privilege. And, in my house, at least, privileges come with responsibilities. They have to help around the house, they have to be respectful, and they can’t exhibit behavior that is harmful to others in the house. Just like I wouldn’t let them smoke in my home, because of the potential health risks to the rest of us. myshelly , you seem ignorant on how this vaccine works. . This. 100%. I made my son’s appointment and gave him the info. I didn’t ask if he wanted to. Literally, zero discussion. Same - but I knew my kids were willing. If they don’t want to get it, they don’t have to live in my house.
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peabay
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Post by peabay on Apr 19, 2021 11:29:35 GMT
My Dh isn’t going to get vaccinated. I plan to let him continue to live here. I understand his concerns- I wasn’t sure I was going to do it either, or at least I thought I might wait longer, but I changed my mind. Same. Well actually dh might bc mil is riding him to do it 😆. Ds19 says he won’t but grandma is working in him too. I don’t understand the hard line some peas draw but perhaps they are of higher risk than we are. I draw a hard line on a potentially fatal disease that I have seen change my happy, healthy 18 year old into a depressive, borderline suicidal, brain fogged mess. Everyone is at risk. Covid doesn’t just affect the old, sick or overweight.
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Post by Katie on Apr 19, 2021 11:32:36 GMT
My husband is refusing to get vaccinated. Not kicking him out, but I sure do think less of him, and if he gets Covid I will be quick to say ‘told ya so’ — and I will have zero sympathy for him.
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Post by lisae on Apr 19, 2021 11:38:19 GMT
While I agree with 'your body, your choice' we will never get rid of this virus if too many people refuse to be vaccinated. Their choice is impacting the rest of us. Variants will keep developing and sooner or later one of those will not be covered by the vaccines the rest of us got. I would keep encouraging him to be vaccinated particularly if you can point out peers who have been vaccinated. My stepdaughter's stepson is 19 and just got his 2nd shot.
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QueenoftheSloths
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on Apr 19, 2021 11:46:47 GMT
It would be a requirement for any young adult living in my home. They have no right to put me at increased risk now that a vaccine is available. But they and you were a risk already. Unless no one left the house for work/school/life, then everyone was already a risk factor. She said increased risk. Isn't the goal to reduce your risk factors as much as you can? I have to work outside the home, so I am at risk. That doesn't make me say, well I am already at risk leaving the house so I might as well also go spend time with someone I know is unvaccinated. Instead it makes me try to reduce my risk in other ways that I can control.
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Post by mollycoddle on Apr 19, 2021 11:53:46 GMT
I would not allow anyone to live or visit here who hasn’t gotten vaccinated. This is about herd immunity. If we don’t reach it, a new variant could cause us to shut down again. So yes, I do draw a hard, bright line, because society needs to contain this virus.
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Post by trixiecat on Apr 19, 2021 12:01:29 GMT
A lot of good comments here. He is 21, has adhd and anxiety and has been putting us at risk since last summer. He goes to parties, hangs with different kids, etc. If I had to guess he probably has already had it and was asymptomatic. We make him wear a mask in the house. His friend yesterday told him to get the vaccine and he still said no. I have told him he can not visit his grandparents (they live 8 hours away) until he gets vaccinated.
I believe if anything he needs to get the vaccine so he doesn't spread Covid to another person outside the house as well. I will keep working on him.
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johnnysmom
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Post by johnnysmom on Apr 19, 2021 12:22:49 GMT
Same. Well actually dh might bc mil is riding him to do it 😆. Ds19 says he won’t but grandma is working in him too. I don’t understand the hard line some peas draw but perhaps they are of higher risk than we are. I draw a hard line on a potentially fatal disease that I have seen change my happy, healthy 18 year old into a depressive, borderline suicidal, brain fogged mess. Everyone is at risk. Covid doesn’t just affect the old, sick or overweight. I completely understand that but if she didn’t get vaccinated would you kick her out? I’m so sorry she’s suffering so much from it hopefully she starts to feel better soon!
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Post by SockMonkey on Apr 19, 2021 12:23:57 GMT
I would not allow anyone to live or visit here who hasn’t gotten vaccinated. This is about herd immunity. If we don’t reach it, a new variant could cause us to shut down again. So yes, I do draw a hard, bright line, because society needs to contain this virus. Exactly. We need over 80% to be vaccinated, and when 25% say they don't wanna, we're not going to get there. People need to stop being selfish, suck it up, and do what's best for the greater good. I mean honestly, I'm so done with people. Yelling about opening schools and businesses and then refusing to do the thing that would make that happen the most quickly and safely makes NO SENSE. I don't want to do this for another year!
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Post by gar on Apr 19, 2021 12:26:58 GMT
Even fully vaccinated we are not 100% protected and someone living in your home whilst presumably going out and about during their daily life still presents a risk to the other people living there.
Yes there is still some risk in going out of the house but living together is much more risky being in the same environment such a lot, than being near someone briefly in a checkout queue.
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peabay
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Post by peabay on Apr 19, 2021 12:36:53 GMT
I draw a hard line on a potentially fatal disease that I have seen change my happy, healthy 18 year old into a depressive, borderline suicidal, brain fogged mess. Everyone is at risk. Covid doesn’t just affect the old, sick or overweight. I completely understand that but if she didn’t get vaccinated would you kick her out? I’m so sorry she’s suffering so much from it hopefully she starts to feel better soon! She'd be getting vaccinated. It wouldn't be optional. I'd make the appointment and drive her there. Just like there's other rules in my house (no smoking, no drug taking etc...) getting vaccinated would be one of them. If she refused? Yeah, I guess she'd have to find another place to live. Just like if she insisted on smoking or doing drugs in my house. To me, all are equally as destructive. Either that or she'd be living in isolation in our house. It would get pretty lonely not getting to be in the same room with other people but I would not share her air. Seeing what she's gone through? I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It's incredibly debilitating.
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SweetieBsMom
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Apr 19, 2021 12:40:01 GMT
While that is true, I have a kid who is truly phobic. But her fear of Covid outweighed her fear of needles, thankfully. This is my kid too, and even she has said she will get the vaccination once she can! She is so afraid of getting Covid. I got my first Pfizer shot last Thursday and OMG, it was such a nothingburger. I swear I barely even felt it. My arm was a little bit sore later on that afternoon and the next day but I think my last flu shot hurt more. I was so relieved to be able to honestly tell my kid that it wasn’t bad. I hope the second one is the same. This. I thought the flu shot hurt more as well. I took DS for his first shot and he was watching me fill out paperwork and when I finished he turned to the nurse and said "I'm ready" and she told him "I already gave it to you". He made the comment the flu shot hurt more. DS hates shots but wants to help put COVID behind us. As someone said, we'll never achieve herd immunity if people continue to refuse to be vaccinated. My biggest fear is that enough people refuse to be vaccinated, the virus develops a variant that the vaccines don't protect us from and then we're back to square one with lockdowns, overwhelmed medical systems, deaths and scrambling for another vaccine that will protect against the new variant. Though I'm in NO RUSH to go back to the office (I wish they'd let me continue to work remotely) I'm ready to be able to see friends/family, go browse in Michaels or Target. I'm renovating and have done 95% of it on-line. Had my new fridge delivered and was like "huh". Had zero clue, other than pictures on the internet, what it looked like. Thank goodness I like it. I'm hoping I'm just as lucky with my stove, microwave and dishwasher. I wish I could have gone out and browsed vs. buying things on line but I wasn't comfortable doing that.
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Post by Really Red on Apr 19, 2021 12:48:01 GMT
Like others, I cannot even imagine it's a choice. This is my home. I pay for it and there are a minimum of rules to follow. Respect is actually the only one I ever use. If an ADULT does not have respect for another adult because of their choices, then their choices preclude them from living with me.
ETA: Mental illness is a reason I might be able to live with, but ADHD and anxiety are not sufficient. I might also be able to live with it if the person practiced extreme caution, but that does not seem to be the case here.
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casii
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Post by casii on Apr 19, 2021 12:48:14 GMT
I took my incredibly needle phobic DH to his vaccine appointment. He has a vasovagal response when getting shots, seeing blood or doing bloodwork, so he will usually pass out.
If we don't get to majority vaccination numbers, we will continue to experience an endless pandemic. We will already be living with the long term ramifications of Covid for a generation and that's WITH projected herd immunity. If we have citizens unwilling to help themselves, while in the process, helping the greater good, we're rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.
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momto4kiddos
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Post by momto4kiddos on Apr 19, 2021 13:15:54 GMT
A lot of good comments here. He is 21, has adhd and anxiety and has been putting us at risk since last summer. He goes to parties, hangs with different kids, etc. If I had to guess he probably has already had it and was asymptomatic. We make him wear a mask in the house. His friend yesterday told him to get the vaccine and he still said no. I have told him he can not visit his grandparents (they live 8 hours away) until he gets vaccinated. I believe if anything he needs to get the vaccine so he doesn't spread Covid to another person outside the house as well. I will keep working on him. Given this information, i'd probably lean more in the direction of get the vaccine or find another place to live. We recently had covid in our house due to our 21 yo. Of course we have no idea where she got it...work, friend or out... Her siblings also live at home and it was a major ordeal. One mainly worked from home and was being tested due to his job. He immediately moved out for 2 weeks to avoid getting it since he was testing negative. His first words were "when were grandparents last over" (another story but they drop in occasionally and had been by, thankfully well out of range of her being positive.) Other sibling and dd work at the same place and by their rules the sibling needed to quarantine longer so was out of work for 20 days! dh had been working and had worked with someone who is immune compromised the week she came down with it. Thankfully the entire house continued to test negative other than me. Thankfully my symptoms were mild. Because of what turmoil it caused in our house and how many can be affected if you get it, i'd definitely be requiring it in my house. Thankfully everyone was planning on getting it here so there was no issue.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2021 13:17:33 GMT
My Dh isn’t going to get vaccinated. I plan to let him continue to live here. I understand his concerns- I wasn’t sure I was going to do it either, or at least I thought I might wait longer, but I changed my mind. Also different, because he, presumably, contributes monetarily to the household. So as long as one pays money they can live there but an adult, let's say, going to school with a part time job can't live at home?! Wha???
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Post by Lexica on Apr 19, 2021 13:17:47 GMT
Does he have good health care? So, his plan is to not receive the vaccine. What is his plan if he gets Covid? Where to stay, how to care for himself etc This. If he was living with me and got sick, it would be a big impact on me to do all that is required to take care of him. And my son can be a big baby when sick if he chooses to. And with the percentage of people that are having long-term mental health issues after having COVID it is just not worth the risk. It is like when he first started to drive and would “forget” to put his seatbelt on. I think it was a power and control thing with him. It finally stopped when I told him that he had better ask his girlfriend if she was willing to take care of him for the rest of her life if he got into an accident and was brain damaged, because I was finished changing his diapers. That really shocked him into thinking of the possible outcome for his actions.
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rickmer
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Post by rickmer on Apr 19, 2021 13:25:43 GMT
too bad his friends didn't decide they don't want him around if he is unvaccinated. that would probably change his mind if he is a fairly social guy.
i wouldn't be happy - not sure about kicking him out but would certainly have to consider telling him to make another living arrangements.
i was worried ex wouldn't get it. my kids go back and forth and my youngest is still too young to get it (when we finally actually get vaccines available). he is a conspiracy guy - going on about the 5G before and "big pharma"... sigh.
i was surprised - he did get his first dose. but his mom is on her third bout of cancer and think that is likely what pushed him to do it.
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paigepea
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Post by paigepea on Apr 19, 2021 13:26:57 GMT
If he’s an adult and living in my home I’d expect him to get vaccinated to protect the rest of the people in the house, not to mention everyone else in the community / world. Giving in to a fear of needles is enabling. In fact, it’s better for our kids if we teach them to face their fears in life.
Even if I’m fully vaccinated I can still catch Covid. I won’t die from it most likely but I don’t need an adult child bringing it into the house. If he wants to keep social distance and be cautious and only socialize outdoors for the rest of his days so be it but he won’t be acting normally and bringing Covid into my home after I just spent over a year of my life being extra cautious for my kids / parents / friends / etc.
I’m sure it feels like a difficult situation in your home. I hope it all works out.
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Apr 19, 2021 13:41:13 GMT
My husband is refusing to get vaccinated. Not kicking him out, but I sure do think less of him, and if he gets Covid I will be quick to say ‘told ya so’ — and I will have zero sympathy for him. Wow. Let's say your DH said "my wife got the vaccine and I sure do think less of her, and if she gets covid despite having the shot then I will say 'told ya so'- and I will have zero sympathy for her.". Your response just seems very cold towards your husband because he believes differently than you do.
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Post by Katie on Apr 19, 2021 13:47:11 GMT
My husband is refusing to get vaccinated. Not kicking him out, but I sure do think less of him, and if he gets Covid I will be quick to say ‘told ya so’ — and I will have zero sympathy for him. Wow. Let's say your DH said "my wife got the vaccine and I sure do think less of her, and if she gets covid despite having the shot then I will say 'told ya so'- and I will have zero sympathy for her.". Your response just seems very cold towards your husband because he believes differently than you do.
Well, it maybe cold but I think it’s cold and uncaring of him to put my health and safety at risk because he doesn’t want to get the vaccine. He has no reasons other than he simply does not want to. That thinking is childish and incomprehensible to me.
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peabay
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Post by peabay on Apr 19, 2021 13:47:19 GMT
My husband is refusing to get vaccinated. Not kicking him out, but I sure do think less of him, and if he gets Covid I will be quick to say ‘told ya so’ — and I will have zero sympathy for him. Wow. Let's say your DH said "my wife got the vaccine and I sure do think less of her, and if she gets covid despite having the shot then I will say 'told ya so'- and I will have zero sympathy for her.". Your response just seems very cold towards your husband because he believes differently than you do.
You want to see cold? My husband wouldn't be sleeping in my bed if he refused the vaccine. "Believes differently than you do" is "I don't like mushrooms on my pizza." It's not about a fatal disease that can be eradicated if we all just look out for one another.
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Dalai Mama
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Post by Dalai Mama on Apr 19, 2021 13:55:31 GMT
Also different, because he, presumably, contributes monetarily to the household. So as long as one pays money they can live there but an adult, let's say, going to school with a part time job can't live at home?! Wha??? It's really not that complicated. My DH's name is on the deed. I can't exactly kick him out if he doesn't get the vaccination, regardless of how much of a dumbass I would think he was, because he owns the house as much as I do. My husband doesn't live in this house contingently; my adult children do.
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