|
Post by ntsf on May 7, 2021 15:59:38 GMT
we never celebrated this when I was growing up. mother's day was the last day of ski season.. so we would all be up skiing, usually in the sun.
I expect nothing from my kids and I don't really mind. my husband gets more mad about kids doing nothing. my kids appreciate me.. so I don't need an artificial day.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 5:16:11 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on May 7, 2021 16:00:30 GMT
Only expectation is that I don’t have to cook. DH knows that we order out that day.
|
|
|
Post by malibou on May 7, 2021 16:05:16 GMT
My ds20 does well. He is a lovey kid, so I always gets extra hugs from him and a small gift and card and he and Dh pick up dinner.
This year I will be seeing my mom on Mother's Day for the first time since I was 17, so 40 years. I always send flowers and a card. All 5 of us will be there and she will be so excited to have a picture of the five of us. I bought us matching pyjamas. 😊
Oh, and every Mother's Day I wear the bedazzled matchbook necklace with a picture of ds inside that he made in kindergarten. It's my favorite!d
|
|
|
Post by leannec on May 7, 2021 16:08:25 GMT
Normally I expect nothing because that's exactly what I got We used to seem to only focus on the grandmothers ... it ticked me off ... now I just let it go ... This year we are having a combination of my birthday (which was on April 25th) and Mother's Day dinner with my mum and two dd's ... if I get a card I'll be happy
|
|
|
Post by katlady on May 7, 2021 16:14:25 GMT
Only a text or call from the offsprings. If they actually come over, that is a bonus. For our moms, we usually take them out on the Saturday before for lunch, but we all don’t want to sit inside a restaurant yet. We’ll have lunch at our house instead.
|
|
|
Post by sawwhet on May 7, 2021 16:16:14 GMT
I have zero expectations. However, my daughter stopped by today with tulips and Portuguese Tarts I had forgotten about Mother's Day. My husband asked what I'd like for Mother's Day dinner and told me to take time this weekend to do whatever I want. Okay, I'll do that!
|
|
|
Post by tentoes on May 7, 2021 16:27:15 GMT
A florist just delivered a beautiful bouquet for me from one of my daughters! What a nice surprise! She's also coming for a visit next week with one of her girls. She'll be staying for 3-4 days. It will be the first time I've seen her since last September!! I'm so excited.
|
|
iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,370
Location: Michigan
Jul 13, 2014 12:40:31 GMT
|
Post by iluvpink on May 7, 2021 17:30:44 GMT
What I would love is a day either alone at home or at least everyone leaving me alone to do whatever I want. Read, bake, play online, no chores, cooking etc. Not asking me a ton of questions or making a lot of noise/mess.
Realistically that doesn't usually happen but sometimes. We are celebrating with family tomorrow and I hope to mostly have my day of peace on Sunday.
We used to do the whole go out to eat on Mother's Day Sunday with my family and it was always stressful as my mom's favorite celebratory restaurant is an hour away so get ready, hope dd didn't somehow find a mud puddle to fall in (I swear she was like Pigpen in Charlie Brown), drive, walk around the tourist town, wait forever sometimes even with a reservation, drive home and get ready for the week). We learned, but not until my dd and nephew were older, to celebrate on Saturday, even just ordering pizza at one of our houses and then relax on Sunday. Dh and dd sometimes are still needy/super talkative, but it's an improvement
ETA I don't really care about presents. I do appreciate a card. Flowers are nice too but some years I get them, some years I don't. I enjoy them when I do, but am not upset if I don't either.
|
|
The Great Carpezio
Pearl Clutcher
Something profound goes here.
Posts: 2,983
Jun 25, 2014 21:50:33 GMT
|
Post by The Great Carpezio on May 7, 2021 17:36:04 GMT
I would like to not have to plan anything. We always get together with my mom (and dad before he passed) and my brother, SIL and niece. A few times we did something with my MIL too (before we had kids).
I always have had to plan it. Last year was kinda nice because of the pandemic, we really couldn't do anything. Inside dining was closed and everyone was quarantined. We had gone nowhere except DH for work and he had just received a negative covid test. So, we went for a drive with my mom and picked up burgers. It wasn't "special" in any standard way, but it was still special because we had taken being together for granted and I DID NOT HAVE TO PLAN ANYTHING!!!!!!
This year is still weird. I am OK with that as long as I don't have to plan anything or complete care tasks.
|
|
|
Post by sean&marysmommy on May 7, 2021 17:36:14 GMT
Honestly, none. We're working on a huge declutter of the whole house. I told my husband and kids to get me nothing, but that I'd appreciate a Starbucks run on Sunday. That's enough of a treat for me. I know they love me and value me; they say and do things to show me every day.
But we are giving cards and gift cards to my mom and MIL.
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on May 7, 2021 17:37:28 GMT
My boys are grown men. Both of their SOs have called me asking what I wanted. I told them I wanted daughters. I think my boys should be asking and not their girlfriends/fiances. BUT... I told one that a pretty pot is always appreciated and the other one is going to Florida with me next week, so spending a week with them is more than enough. Both ladies have moms who also want to see them, so I do not put pressure on them for time. I do get to see them (one more than the other), but I know they have busy lives.
My husband and I will probably head up to a mountain town and go gambling for a couple of hours and have lunch there.
|
|
|
Post by maryland on May 7, 2021 17:47:04 GMT
I guess I do expect rain and cold weather on Mother's Day. It always seems to be messy out on Mother's Day where I live (southwest PA) and beautiful and sunny on Father's Day. Last year it snowed on Mother's Day. So I expect crap weather! No putting winter clothes away until June.
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on May 7, 2021 17:49:21 GMT
I would like to not have to plan anything. We always get together with my mom (and dad before he passed) and my brother, SIL and niece. A few times we did something with my MIL too (before we had kids). I always have had to plan it. Last year was kinda nice because of the pandemic, we really couldn't do anything. Inside dining was closed and everyone was quarantined. We had gone nowhere except DH for work and he had just received a negative covid test. So, we went for a drive with my mom and picked up burgers. It wasn't "special" in any standard way, but it was still special because we had taken being together for granted and I DID NOT HAVE TO PLAN ANYTHING!!!!!! This year is still weird. I am OK with that as long as I don't have to plan anything or complete care tasks.Since my kids were very small, this is what I asked for every year. I'd also add on that I wanted time alone. My husband worked days/evenings and Saturdays for years, so time off from kids was very rare other than when I was working (with other people's kids). My husband thought it was horrible to want to be alone on MD. Ha. Last night we watched a few late nigh comedians and they all had people talking about the only thing moms really wanted for MD was time alone. After a good 20+ years he is finally getting it.
|
|
|
Post by kraft4fun on May 7, 2021 17:49:28 GMT
I will get a text from each of my daughters (32 yo is pregnant with her first, 30 yo has my two older grands and 29 yo has the younger grand and all live 5+ hours away) at some point during the day, and a mass text will probably go out to my MIL that will include everyone because people don't know how to send direct. Other than that... I will be working and crafting and watching tv.
However on Friday we will be leaving for a weeks vacation with MIL and go visit friends, and hopefully my daughter and 2 of my grandkids. I say hopefully because she is in the Coast Guard and lives in Elizabeth City, NC where the protests are less than a mile from her apartment. The kids are 11 miles away with their dad and we just want to make sure it is safe before we make that final part of our plan. Worst part is she has limitations on how far she can go from base to visit anyone so she can't meet us in Myrtle Beach with the kids.
|
|
|
Post by scrapmaven on May 7, 2021 17:51:05 GMT
My kids won't be home, so I have zero expectations. Gifts are nice, but I'd rather spend the day w/my entire family at home w/me.
|
|
casii
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,517
Jun 29, 2014 14:40:44 GMT
|
Post by casii on May 7, 2021 17:51:29 GMT
Since my mom's birthday is so close to Mother's Day and she passed away, I kind of feel like an orphaned little black rain cloud for Mother's Day. DH and I aren't buying each other anything for holidays because we're committed to doing some house renovations.
I'll be cooking brunch for DD who is coming with her twins. Her MIL is going through chemo for lung cancer and isn't feeling up to plans this weekend. We're supposed to take her plant shopping midweek when hopefully she's feeling better.
|
|
|
Post by bc2ca on May 7, 2021 18:08:00 GMT
When the kids were younger, time to myself was the best thing DH could arrange for me. As they get older, I want a little bit of their time to do something like go for a hike, walk the beach, etc. I make dinner most nights, so expect DH & the kids to plan & make dinner on Mother's Day. This year (and most), I've asked for seafood. To make it easier, I send them a video of Alton Brown searing scallops.
|
|
|
Post by peasapie on May 7, 2021 18:09:08 GMT
None. My mom is gone and my daughter is a mom herself - I expect no one to pay homage to me for a made up holiday.
I will add that my son invited me to his house on Saturday for dinner, which was nice but not expected.
|
|
|
Post by supersoda on May 7, 2021 18:24:26 GMT
I'm away from my family working on the migrant children crisis, and my mom passed away in November so this year my mind is elsewhere, it will just be another 12-hour work day. I'm sorry for the recent loss of your mom. Mother's Day can certainly be bittersweet when we don't have our moms anymore. Hopefully the work will distract from the in-your-faceness of it all. You're a rock star for what you do! I can't imagine how emotionally tolling it is, on top of the long days.
|
|
Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,703
Location: Kansas City -ish
Jun 27, 2014 2:38:58 GMT
|
Post by Anita on May 7, 2021 18:38:23 GMT
This is the first year in a while we are going to celebrate, although it will be tonight instead of Sunday because of oldest DD's work schedule. My girls (both grown) are meeting us for dinner tonight. It's going to be really fun because the oldest wanted to eat at Hamburger Mary's. It looks like a great deal of fun. I've had a particularly rough week between nonstop work and some surgery, so I could use some fun, and I am just happy both kids want to spend time with me. That's all the Mother's Day gift I need.
|
|
|
Post by jlynnbarth on May 7, 2021 18:38:38 GMT
I have zero expectations, as these types of "holidays" just aren't that important to me, but I know I will receive a hanging flower basket from my dh and my son will get me one too. Dh has gotten me these since the kids were little. He used to get me 2 for the hangers we had on our porch at our old house. Now that we have moved, he gets me one for the smaller front porch we have. DS took over buying me a 2nd one (for a hanger we have on the back of the house) 4 years ago. They are beautiful and I don't have to take care of them. I just get to enjoy them. (I have a black thumb and dh has the green thumb ) I know that my DD will post a very nice Mother's day post for me on facebook. It's not "expected", but I know she will post something very nice. She also brought me a cute basket that she hand painted flowers on when she was here last month for my FIL's memorial service. She knew she wouldn't be able to come home (she lives out of state) so she gave it to me ahead of time. It was totally unexpected and I love it. This will be my 2nd year without my Mom and DH's Mom passed many years ago, so we don't have phone calls to make or gifts to send to them (both were out of state from us). It's very odd. I will listen to the last voicemail I have from my Mom though and send her "mother's day wishes" in my thoughts.
|
|
|
Post by smalltowngirlie on May 7, 2021 18:45:01 GMT
I expect I will be cooking for my DH's dad and brother along with our family. His mom passed last June and his brother was just served with divorce papers, so I am the only female in the group now. Honestly, I don't even know if they will realize it is Mother's Day. I am totally Ok with this, I am the one that suggested the day and did not even realize it was Mother's Day.
I am not one to have anyone make a big fuss over. As a family we do little things for each other throughout the year so "holidays" like this don't mean a whole lot to us.
|
|
|
Post by tc on May 7, 2021 18:54:18 GMT
I am one of those moms who learned to lower expectations. The year my son had just turned 3 I knew my husband didn't have a plan. I told him I had recently bought some stamp sets for myself and where I had left them in the house (super obvious place). I said, "I think it's important we teach DS about giving to others and what that feels like...that giving is better than receiving. So take those stamp sets. Wrap them. Have him draw a squiggley line on a piece of construction paper for a card, and have him "surprise me" with his gift to me." I thought I had made it SO EASY. I woke up on Mother's Day and there sat the stamps in the same location they had been sitting for about a week and a half. Not wrapped - not moved. I picked them up, put them in my craft space, and moved on. I'll admit though, I twinge a little every time I use those particular sets at the memory and the feeling of disappointment. The next year I asked my husband the night before to get up early so that I could sleep in. I got, "But I stay up later than you" as a response. So I gave up on that too because I didn't want to have a fight about it. I buy myself something nice now sometime between the middle of April and the middle of May and call it my Mother's Day gift. This year DS did bring home a decorated paper sack from school yesterday and he says my Mother's Day AWESOME GIFT is inside. God bless those elementary school teachers. I'll admit - I missed the thoughtfulness last year during remote learning.
My MIL's birthday is May 10 so it is either on Mother's Day or very near Mother's Day each year. In the BCV world (Before Covid Virus) we'd almost always spend 2.5 hours traveling to her place, "visiting", and 2.5 hours traveling home before we had to rush to prep for Monday morning. My own mother was resentful that we didn't spend the day with her and I was slightly resentful that I didn't get a choice in what I was doing for Mother's Day. I love my MIL, but I'll admit I'm not looking forward to next year when we'll probably return to business as usual.
For this year I'm bringing my own mother a steak dinner from her favorite place that she'll eat at home. She fell during a walk a few weeks back and broke her wrist, her cheek, and chipped a tooth. She's been in and out of the hospital since and isn't allowed to drive. She has been craving food from this restaurant for months. So I'll bring her that, cut her meat for her because she won't be able to, and visit with her for a bit while she eats. If I can get some time in my craft room on Sunday, that will just be a bonus.
ETA: And I just realized that I never mailed the Mother's Day cards I typically mail to some of my close friends this year. They're made. I just need to write a message inside and get them in the mail. I guess they'll be delinquent this year. This week just flew by for me.
|
|
|
Post by epeanymous on May 7, 2021 18:57:58 GMT
I am clear in both my expectations and in communicating them.
I expect that I will be provided with a nice lunch. Take me out, make it at home, either is fine.
I expect that the kids will give me a card.
I expect that no one is going to ask me to do stuff around the house.
I want some time in the afternoon where I can read a book or go to a garden store or otherwise take some time for myself.
I don’t expect my family to mind-read; I do expect that they can commit to, once a year, putting forth this relatively modest amount of effort.
|
|
|
Post by cadoodlebug on May 7, 2021 18:58:17 GMT
DH and DS always treat me well on Mother's Day. I hate to eat out on holidays so they take me out for dinner during the week. DH went out yesterday because his car was *running on fumes* ~ he was gone over an hour and a half so I suspect he was buying me something. He is also painting something that he is keeping under wraps. That's what I'm most looking forward to seeing. I feel badly for women whose expectations are diminished and are disappointed by their DH and/or kids. ETA: DH just handed me his credit card receipt for the gas ~ he obviously wasn't thinking because it says that he only bought half a tank of gas.
|
|
|
Post by iamkristinl16 on May 7, 2021 21:51:53 GMT
When the kids were younger, dh always told me to go shopping and take time for myself. Something about that didn’t sit well with me. I realized that as the kids got older, I wanted them to know that I love being a mom and that I want time With them (on Mother’s Day and every day). I don’t expect anything super fancy or to have a whole day of doing nothing, but I do want some acknowledgment of what I do. I love the projects the kids make in elementary school and will be sad when ds doesn’t do that anymore.
We don’t live close to our moms, but if we did I don’t see why we couldn’t have some time to celebrate all of us together. I don’t expect my kids to forgo giving their own wives attention on Mother’s Day when they are older, but I also don’t think it Is ok for wives to expect the husbands to forget about their mothers as well. My mom and her siblings still spend some time with my grandma on Mother’s Day but I don’t think there is any animosity or feeling that they don’t also get acknowledged for their roles as mothers.
|
|
|
Post by mom2rjcr on May 7, 2021 21:58:40 GMT
None! I hate mother's day. My own mother always made it a terrible experience as a child. I tell my children that I know they love me everyday, and that is all I need. Also, mother's day usually happens really close or on my DS's birthday. I would rather celebrate that. This year his birthday is on Monday, but he has to work so we will celebrate on Sunday instead.
|
|
|
Post by Scrapper100 on May 7, 2021 22:40:14 GMT
I’m trying to come up with stuff to do. I never like to go out to eat on holiday weekends but think we will go to a local brewery around 4 tonight and everyone can grab food from surrounding food places. My husband had been wanting to do this, I want to go to the brewery and my son will get pizza. Hoping I can find a card game to take with us. I bought a few plants I hope can get transplanted and most of my pots need some potting soil added to them. My car needs cleaning inside and hope that will happen. I think I want to get takeout tomorrow but all of us will enjoy that. Maybe I will pull out the corn hold boards. I also want my husband to make breakfast on the black stone Sunday morning and I have a bottle of mango sparkling wine . No idea what will actually happen but putting some planing into this today trying to feel like I had a nice weekend. I’m sure not all of this will happen but if so all of us should have some fun. We have plans to get together with MIL in two weeks so that leaves us with this weekend free. If I left everything to hubby and son I would be really disappointed. I would get flowers and a card probably but that’s not what I want. I want to spend time with them, not all day but a little bit of time. We have been married almost 25 years and our son is 17. I have learned to speak up but normally when an occasion comes I can’t think of stuff snd then feel bummed. This time I have figured out a few things we will all enjoy but still leave us time alone. I figure a few things to feel like a splurge. I’m hoping to not do much and then relax and not cook or clean well I will probably help but still. I hope everyone has a nice day.
|
|
|
Post by Skellinton on May 7, 2021 22:59:23 GMT
My cats are awesome shoppers and terrible secret keepers, so I know to expect the new Winnie the Pooh Lego set.
Other then that I expect to be frustrated with he rest of my family as I try to coordinate take out orders for brunch . Many places here are closed or have permanently closed and we have picky people (myself included) so finding a place for everyone to eat from is a nuisance and I guarantee you thatSunday morning I still won’t have everyone’s order. I am the planner for my family as it wouldn’t get done otherwise.
If it wouldn’t upset my mom I would just let everyone else figure it out or just get my mom food, but she would be very upset.so I have to take care of it. The other people involved are my cousin and her former partner (who is 100% part of the family and aways will be ), her sister and my nephew (offspring of my cousin and her former partner) . The other girls lost their mother very young and and had to raise themselves pretty much, so it is a hard day for them. None of the other adults are organized or planners, so it has to be me.
When I get home I my husband and I will get take out and I will relax and work on my Lego set.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 7, 2024 5:16:12 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on May 7, 2021 23:19:25 GMT
I try to keep it simple.
I don’t want to cook, I want to do something together as a family, and I want peonies, and if the kids get up first, DH gets up with them.
My peonies arrived yesterday. We’re going peach picking tomorrow. We’ll take out something for a meal. I’m easy.
We’ll see my mom and hopefully his mom too. I try to make sure we spend mother’s days with them because I hope my boys will do that for me when they’re grown. I get to see my boys every day but my hubby doesn’t get to see his mom every day (we see my mom daily because she lives next door).
|
|