peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,891
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on May 7, 2021 23:23:50 GMT
when my girls were little I loved Mother's Day - my dh would take them to his mom's. And leave me alone at home. Overnight. It was delightful. His mom was happy - she got to spend time with him and the girls; I was happy because I was blissfully alone.
Now? We're going mattress shopping (haha - I'm actually very excited about this) and I'd like to zoom and play Jackbox TV with my older girls that evening. My expectations are that I won't have to cook or do laundry or work. That's it.
Not expecting much else.
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Post by bigbundt on May 8, 2021 0:02:16 GMT
I just want to sleep in. Probably social media has skewed expectations a bit since people only post their highlights. Like would I have posted about the Mothers Day when my husband gave me a token card from my kid when he dropped her in the bed bright and early with a stinky diaper? And then took off to spend the day with his mom? And then I went grocery shopping with my two year old who had a tantrum on the floor of the entrance? And then she kicked me the entire time? No, I would have posted and gushed about the card and people would fill in the blanks that the rest of my day was amazing. I also find that a lot of husbands these days are pretty horrible acknowledging the day or choosing their mom over their wives. Like my husband in the beginning wouldn't do anything because I wasn't HIS mom. Mothers Day was about HIS mom (and she wasn't giving up the day now that I was also a mom). Since our child was a baby obviously she wasn't doing anything so it was hard to be barely acknowledged while watching him go all out for MIL. Within a few years he eventually flip flopped to the day being about me (he spends the Saturday before with his mom) and toned down celebrating his mom but he was a straight up bonehead the first two years. Even though I wanted so little, it still hurt very, very much at the child rearing stage when kids suck the life out of you. So even if their expectations seem a little whacked to you, a little compassion for the new moms wouldn't be horrible. That is a good point about social media giving the impression that every mother should be having a blissful day of being treated like a queen and how that could skew people's expectations of how things should be in their own home. And then the subsequent letdown if the day isn't as perfect as you think it should be. I'm not sure why you think I have no compassion for younger moms. I think that having more realistic expectations would lead to them feeling more fulfilled with their mother's day, and having less resentment about it. I see that as wanting people to be happy, not a lack of compassion.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on May 8, 2021 0:04:06 GMT
I want to be acknowledged by my 2 sons in some way that let's me know they are thinking of me. That's my expectation with my four boys... just acknowledge the day for me. My ex was good about corralling the boys for gifts, cards, and often breakfast-in-bed for me when they were young. My husband now still coordinates with my youngest who lives with us even though he's nineteen. For the three who are married, I just want to hear from them. A card, call, or even a text is fine. Actually this year, I've already received a wi-fi photo frame from my son and his wife who had the baby this year. They gave one to her mom, me, and my mama (baby's great grandma) so they can upload new photos straight to the frames for us all to see. I also got a sweet card from another son and his wife. Can't really complain, I suppose. The holiday is already off to a great start!
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Post by danalz on May 8, 2021 0:53:02 GMT
Zero expectations. DH and DS are not the type to give sappy cards and I really don't like them. If I want something, I just buy it for myself. I don't wait for them to buy it for me out of the joint bank account When DS was little, my gift was that DH would take him to my in law's farm for the weekend and I would get to stay home alone and relax. It was the best gift I could have ever gotten. No cooking, no cleaning and I got control of the remote from Friday night until Sunday afternoon. DH has ordered takeout from our favorite BBQ joint and I told him I would like a cheesecake from the grocery store for Sunday night. Nothing fancy and I'm ok with that.
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craftymom101
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,776
Jul 31, 2014 5:23:25 GMT
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Post by craftymom101 on May 8, 2021 1:40:09 GMT
Absolutely zero expectations.
I will be lucky if my boys (ages 12 and 15) remember Motherās Day on Sunday.
My SO is on shift from 8am Sunday - 8am Monday.
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Post by hop2 on May 8, 2021 1:46:50 GMT
Iām just hoping my kids call me. Iām good with that. Anything else is gravy. DS has finals Monday so I may or may not hear from him. But if I donāt Iāll understand itās a rough week.
Although Iām pretty sure DD is coming home tomorrow so no call necessary.
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Post by refugeepea on May 8, 2021 2:25:13 GMT
Zero. I care more about my mom on Mother's Day.
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Post by jillonthehill on May 8, 2021 2:36:59 GMT
I just want some sort of acknowledgement from my family that what I do for them is appreciated. It can be a gift, a hug, or waking up to a clean house.
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Post by quinlove on May 8, 2021 2:53:17 GMT
My son lives out of state. This week he texted me - what do I want/need for Mothers Day. I instantly texted back that my dishwasher is broken. New one is arriving Monday. š My 2 dd and 5 gc live near me. Iām sure they will come over on Sunday. ā¤ļø
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Post by 950nancy on May 8, 2021 3:23:06 GMT
We went out to dinner with my oldest and his girlfriend tonight. I had told him earlier he was off the hook for MD since we'd be gone on Sunday. He told me that they would be over for dinner on Saturday. I don't know what the means, but we'll see.
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Post by huskermom98 on May 8, 2021 3:27:16 GMT
I don't have any big expectations on Mother's Day, I just don't want to cook or plan anything. The last 4 mother's days have not be fun and relaxing because I was delivering flowers for my neighbor--two of the years I was still delivering ON mother's day, the other two I was just exhausted from 3 days of deliveries. So it will be nice to not have to worry about anything like that. Most years we do go out to eat, but usually not until the evening when it's less crazy. This year I decided that I want brunch from the same place we got a to-go brunch last year, but we'll dine in this year. We have a reservation, but I'm not sure if they are only doing reservations or if we might have to wait because everyone will be trying to eat out.
I don't expect gifts, usually we end up getting something we call a gift for ourselves for Mother's Day, Father's Day and DH's birthday in July. I do however expect chocolate because DH usually gets some from a local shop--I did forget to hint to him about chocolate covered strawberries from another store (something I usually got from my flower lady neighbor because she would get some for customers.) The only gift I want from my boys this year is to not get annoyed when I take pictures next week during an annual scrapbooking project where I document a week in my life--I don't "smile and say cheese" or try to do something embarrassing, I just want to take a picture of what they are doing if it also happens to be part of my life.
We live 3-5 hours from our parents so that's never been an issue. I do have to share the day with my oldest son every few years because his birthday falls during the possible Mother's Day dates.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,804
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on May 8, 2021 3:35:37 GMT
My DH is getting his 2nd Pfizer tomorrow so Motherās Day will probably be just like any other weekend day. Iāll work on whatever I want, kids will play together, Iāll stop fights, dh will make dinner if he doesnāt feel bad.
My parents are visiting my sister in TX so weāll see them next weekend.
MIL is coming Wednesday for late lunch (Iāll be at work) with DH and kids. Iām ok with that! Lol
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on May 8, 2021 8:09:05 GMT
To be off from work (work-work, not household stuff).
I'm grown, and can make my own happy mother's day. I don't want my kids to feel stressed and pressure.
Any card or acknowledgment of the day is a bonus.
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Post by gar on May 8, 2021 8:18:00 GMT
Mother's Day in the UK is in March but experience tells me it'll always be a nice day and I'll feel very appreciated.
But it was the first without my Mum this year so I was a little melancholy anyway.
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peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,390
Aug 16, 2014 23:15:53 GMT
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Post by peaname on May 8, 2021 9:13:45 GMT
I do have expectations! I expect my kids to acknowledge the day. For my oldest at college a text or phone call. For my youngest who loves any type of celebration I have already suggested coffee in bed. My husband has asked what I want several times and I usually give him an underhand pitch gift idea.
What I will never want is for any of my childrenās partners to be burdened in any way by me on Motherās Day. I will never be pissed if my kids make an effort. And I donāt expect my DH to do anything but take care of his own mom. The day will always be bittersweet for me because my mom is gone. I donāt need to add to it by either claiming I expect nothing and being hurt or being pissy because enough wasnāt done. Itās a day to remember your mother not pamper your wife or mother in law!
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peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,390
Aug 16, 2014 23:15:53 GMT
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Post by peaname on May 8, 2021 9:17:54 GMT
I'm away from my family working on the migrant children crisis, and my mom passed away in November so this year my mind is elsewhere, it will just be another 12-hour work day. Thank you for doing this work.
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305
Aug 13, 2016 13:47:39 GMT
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Post by kibblesandbits on May 8, 2021 10:27:01 GMT
I'm doing what I do most every year - hosting my mom for a buffet lunch at my home. I make a selection of salads (pasta, chopped, and greens), a warm side of some kind (usually cheesy potatoes) and grilled chicken. Angel Food Cake for dessert. Usually my brother and his wife comes, and my boys will usually show up as well to see me and their granny. I'm not much for these official "holidays". When my sons randomly text me? Mother's Day. When one of them makes me a playlist on Spotify? Mother's Day. Calls me for advice or to share a success? Mother's Day. I get dozens of Mother's Days.
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Post by mikklynn on May 8, 2021 12:40:43 GMT
I would appreciate a thoughtful text but know that won't happen. I really don't need anything big. Just some kind words. Mother's Day has always been about my MIL. One year I asked DH if I could stay home and correct papers because I had so much to do. That would have been an amazing gift that year because I was so stressed out. His response? "Mother's Day has absolutely nothing to do with you!" š”š³ He has since realized that was not a wise thing to say. š Yes, why do such intelligent men sometimes say such stupid things? When I was literally a week away from giving birth on the Motherās Day that fell right before my kid was born, my DH had the nerve to say to me, ā Youāre not a mother YET.ā Excuse the hell out of me, but after carrying around that baby for 39 weeks I sure as hell FELT like one! Dick move, dude. NOT cool. š¤¬ I was a week OVERDUE with our first when DH said the same thing. He's lucky to be alive. Same with your DH, fuji ! I've given up on DH or DS. DD will bring me a lovely gift or a meal. I bought myself an aquamarine pendant last month. I've always wanted one, so I bought my own gift.
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Post by ajsweetpea on May 8, 2021 14:41:38 GMT
I just expect an acknowledgment of the day from my husband and the kids. Personally I love holidays and try to make them special for everyone in my family, so when itās Mother Day, I do like to have the day made special for me. But itās not like I expect to go on a lavish trip, a shopping spree, or anything like that. My husband makes me breakfast, gets me a gift and my kids make my cards. I am good with that!
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peaname
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,390
Aug 16, 2014 23:15:53 GMT
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Post by peaname on May 8, 2021 14:51:12 GMT
I have always said that itās a real gift that Motherās Day is before Fatherās Day so no man can complain that he was not treated as well as his wife for their special day. They set the bar. Youāre not MY father!!
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Post by librarylady on May 8, 2021 15:00:46 GMT
Very low expectations, very low.
I anticipate a card and a phone call.
I was surprised yesterday with a gift from my son. It arrived early (amazon).
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Post by lavawalker on May 8, 2021 18:35:58 GMT
Facetime with dd who lives 2 hours away, celebrate in person in 2weeks when we visit there. Sent MIL a card and small gift. She lives 11 hours away, so weāll Facetme with her also.
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Post by MichyM on May 8, 2021 19:07:02 GMT
Alright yāall. Iām heading out to see a friend for lunch (OMG, hurray for the amazing vaccines) but my adult son (lives on the opposite coast) told me that i need to be home by 4 for a delivery. Itās being made by his dad, my ex. That in and of itself is odd. It couldnāt be done earlier in the day because I was told that the business doesnāt open until mid-afternoon. Canāt be left in the secure interior hallway outside my condo door (I could buzz ex in remotely - must be home). And apparently it couldnāt be done tomorrow. What IS it? Who wants to chime in with their ideas? Typically MD is a card (maybe) and a call or FaceTime. My first thought goes to some sort of food item. But...my son has been known to totally think outside the box. I am stuck on that and am completely stumped on other ideas! Iāll check back in from my phone to see your guesses and will update later if thereās any interest
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,366
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on May 8, 2021 19:11:47 GMT
Alright yāall. Iām heading out to see a friend for lunch (OMG, hurray for the amazing vaccines) but my adult son (lives on the opposite coast) told me that i need to be home by 4 for a delivery. Itās being made by his dad, my ex. That in and of itself is odd. It couldnāt be done earlier in the day because I was told that the business doesnāt open until mid-afternoon. Canāt be left in the secure interior hallway outside my condo door (I could buzz ex in remotely - must be home). And apparently it couldnāt be done tomorrow. What IS it? Who wants to chime in with their ideas? Typically MD is a card (maybe) and a call or FaceTime. My first thought goes to some sort of food item. But...my son has been known to totally think outside the box. I am stuck on that and am completely stumped on other ideas! Iāll check back in from my phone to see your guesses and will update later if thereās any interest Iām interested! My guess it is some sort of dinner delivery. Keep us posted!
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luckyjune
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,687
Location: In the rainy, rainy WA
Jul 22, 2017 4:59:41 GMT
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Post by luckyjune on May 8, 2021 19:37:49 GMT
I don't have expectations because I don't need them? Does that make sense? My kids are grown. Maybe when they were smaller and I was in the middle of the whirlwind that was raising young kids, I'd want a day to myself or some plants for the garden? DH brought me flowers this morning. I'll see at least two of three kids tomorrow. We'll go visit my mom and take a pot of flowers to her. That's about it and I'm good with that!
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Post by littlemama on May 8, 2021 19:56:25 GMT
My expectations are a card. Amd that we eat some food. Im pretty easy going.
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Post by Zee on May 8, 2021 19:58:34 GMT
My kids will do nothing but that's ok, they're far away.
I don't want DH to do anything because I'm not his mom and our kids are grown. But maybe I'll have him help me make some things for the dollhouse.
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Post by Skellinton on May 8, 2021 20:07:00 GMT
Alright yāall. Iām heading out to see a friend for lunch (OMG, hurray for the amazing vaccines) but my adult son (lives on the opposite coast) told me that i need to be home by 4 for a delivery. Itās being made by his dad, my ex. That in and of itself is odd. It couldnāt be done earlier in the day because I was told that the business doesnāt open until mid-afternoon. Canāt be left in the secure interior hallway outside my condo door (I could buzz ex in remotely - must be home). And apparently it couldnāt be done tomorrow. What IS it? Who wants to chime in with their ideas? Typically MD is a card (maybe) and a call or FaceTime. My first thought goes to some sort of food item. But...my son has been known to totally think outside the box. I am stuck on that and am completely stumped on other ideas! Iāll check back in from my phone to see your guesses and will update later if thereās any interest Ice cream. You will have to update!
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Post by wholarmor on May 8, 2021 21:07:03 GMT
My husband works Sunday evenings, so I just tell him to get me breakfast from McDonald's and give it to me in bed, lol. I ordered myself a bathtub shelf to hold my stuff on so I can have a nice spa experience in the tub. I asked my daughter for some of her art work, my older son I asked him to play his ukelele and sing for me, and my youngest will probably make me a Minecraft greeting. That's all cool with me.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,804
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on May 8, 2021 21:11:28 GMT
MichyM I'm going with edible arrangement! I hope it's something fun! Make sure you update us!
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