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Post by jeremysgirl on Sept 30, 2021 16:07:17 GMT
I am so, so sorry. But I think you did the right thing. And this is coming from someone who had to say the same thing to a kid once. (Things did get better. A lot better.) Hugs to you. That is so encouraging to hear. |
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teddyw
Drama Llama
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Post by teddyw on Sept 30, 2021 16:11:04 GMT
I’m sorry it came to this but hopefully it’s her rock bottom. You’ve just had so much.
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Post by floridagirl on Sept 30, 2021 16:32:51 GMT
Sorry it happened, but good for you for sticking up for yourself...as a mom I know how hard that is to do.
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Post by Laurie on Sept 30, 2021 16:48:48 GMT
I missed your original post and didn't want to read without commenting. I want you to know that I so enjoy your presence on this board and the always thoughtful replies that you give to all of us when we post. You bring so much value to this board and for that I am thankful for you. I wish I had some great advice or the perfect words for you but I don't. Just know that this board is a better place because of your contribution to it. I appreciate you and I am sorry that you are having a hard time right now and this ugly world and all of its problems are wearing you down. I hope things start turning for you and that you start finding some peace.
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Post by scrapmaven on Sept 30, 2021 18:06:31 GMT
It doesn't surprise me at all that this triggered you. It will get easier for you. Have you talked to your therapist? This would be a good time to touch base w/her and have a good session. You take charge of your health and your dd must learn to take charge of hers, despite any issues that she has. Please call your therapist. Let her help you process all of this.
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,563
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Post by RosieKat on Sept 30, 2021 18:36:14 GMT
Just because it's the right decision does not (unfortunately) mean it's easy. I am beyond glad that Jeremy and E both support you. C is not a little girl any more, she is an adult, and needs to be responsible for herself, just like you have learned to be responsible for yourself. That doesn't mean you aren't there for her, it's truly that right now, showing her love means making the tough choice not to enable her.
I'm glad you are trying to be kind to yourself. We love you and value you and support you!
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Post by koontz on Sept 30, 2021 19:25:09 GMT
I am so sorry to read your update, I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you but I also can’t help thinking this may be good for your relationship with your DD in the long run. I hope so. I always love reading your posts because you are kind and real (and a pretty amazing crocheter too  Hugs! |
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,300
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Post by Mystie on Oct 1, 2021 2:52:21 GMT
I'm glad you're setting boundaries but so sorry you're having to do so. I hope very much that things will become more peaceful in your life and that people will learn to appreciate you as much as all us Peas do!
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Post by callmenutz on Oct 1, 2021 4:47:18 GMT
My sister and BIL were where you are now with their daughter who is bipolar. She doesn’t believe in taking medication. She was hospitalized several times and would take the meds and then go off as soon as she started feeling better. Every hospitalization was longer then the previous one.
After one terrible altercation where she beat up her Dad and they had to call the police they told her that she had to leave. My sister was able to get her on disability and Medicaid. Disability takes a while to be approved but then when it finally was she got back pay to the first hospitalization I think it was. That enabled her to eventually get an apartment and live on her own. There were a few more hospitalizations during that time.
Long story short, she has finally come to the realization that she needs to be on medication for the rest of her life. She now has a job as a waitress and is enrolled in college full time.
I know how hard it was for my sister and BIL to make her leave but I also believe if they hadn’t that she wouldn’t be where she is today. It forced her to grow up and take responsibility.
This all was taking a great toll on their marriage and their health. Any day now they are putting their house on the market and moving to their retirement lake home. Please take care of yourself and your husband and marriage. If you don’t take care of yourself and put yourself first, you won’t be good to anyone. You deserve it! Hang in there!
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Post by lesserknownpea on Oct 1, 2021 7:03:11 GMT
My so glad you can unburden yourself here. You are universally loved and admired, and can count on the Peas having your back.
My oldest DD also was a source of great sadness and stress when she hit adulthood. I had to get to the place where I knew I would be okay no matter what happened with her, even the worst, it might sound calloused, but I came to the realization that making myself ill would not help her one bit. Happily, things are tons better. It’s been very rocky, but we are both okay with where we are at.
Continue to seek the help you need. It’s not selfish to do what you need to stop hating your life.
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Marina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,526
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Post by Marina on Oct 1, 2021 7:03:34 GMT
jeremysgirl I just saw this post tonight and I’m so sorry for all the pain you are experiencing. Setting boundaries with your children is so tough but right. You and your home are not her punching bag. I’m glad you can come here and vent. Know we care about you. Someone once told me to pick one thing today to work on, once that’s done pick another. Otherwise it can be so overwhelming. Hugs and prayers!
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Post by jeremysgirl on Oct 1, 2021 10:19:20 GMT
callmenutz thank you for sharing an encouraging story. I'm hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.
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Post by dewryce on Oct 1, 2021 11:07:29 GMT
Oh honey I am so sorry things have gotten to this point. I’m really glad your eldest stood up with you, but hate that you had to make that tough decision. I agree with everyone that says it was the right decision, as much as I’m sure it hurt to make it. You first have to take care of you before anyone else, just like with the oxygen masks on a plane. Also, I don’t think you’d be doing her any favors by allowing her to act like that without consequences. She can’t act like that in the community and she needs to learn that, needs to learn that she needs help, even if she has to be put in a position where she is forced to get it.  |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Oct 3, 2021 12:03:07 GMT
Update #2:
On Friday afternoon I got a call from the vets office. DD had been there yelling and screaming that her dog was dying and that I had poisoned him. They examined the dog and could find nothing wrong with him. Then she began yelling and screaming that they were poisoning the dog with his seizure medicine. They escorted her out and called me. I explained to them that she is mentally ill and if she came back to call the police.
Friday night she sent me some ugly messages about how me and my family are all part of a cult. That's angels were telling her that we were all going to hell.
Yesterday morning I called the police nonemergency line and talked to a very unfriendly female police officer requesting a well check from them. The officer would not even listen to my story. She cut me off and was very rude. If that's not an advertisement for how we need more social workers and medical personnel to work cooperatively with police I don't know what is.
Her boyfriend called me late last night. The police did come by to check on her but she wasn't there. Well apparently she didn't drink all day and she had a seizure. He called 911 and they came to check her out. Her vitals were good and she refused to go into the hospital. But late evening she had completely unraveled and she accused the boyfriend of being a demon and involved in the same cult as the rest of the family. She told him he was trying to poison her with the seasonings he put in her dinner food. He immediately called the police.
When the police got there she told the police all if this. And they asked her how to spell her last name and she couldn't. They asked her her birthday and she didn't know what it is was. They took her into the hospital. She went willingly. The boyfriend told her he was going to call me and she didn't protest.
He called me around midnight last night and I rushed up to the hospital ER but they wouldn't let me see her. She was incapable of communicating whether she wanted me there or not. So I came home and went to bed. I am grateful that she had a meltdown and is finally in the hospital. I am hoping that they keep her on a psychiatric hold. I am sure (having been through this before myself) they will drug test her and give her a CT scan to make sure she doesn't have something going on with her brain. Anyway, I just wanted to say right now I'm relieved that she is there and will finally get a proper evaluation and hopefully some kind of treatment.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Oct 3, 2021 12:13:24 GMT
jeremysgirl Wish I could give you hugs. So sorry you, your DD, and the whole family are suffering so. Someday I hope she is thankful for you, of course, but all others who are looking out for her. Please take care of you and let Jeremy take care of you too!!
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tamra
Junior Member
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Post by tamra on Oct 3, 2021 12:17:26 GMT
I’m so sorry your family is going though all of this. I pray she is able to get the help she needs. Take care of yourself.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Oct 3, 2021 12:18:28 GMT
jeremysgirl Wish I could give you hugs. So sorry you, your DD, and the whole family are suffering so. Someday I hope she is thankful for you, of course, but all others who are looking out for her. Please take care of you and let Jeremy take care of you too!! The good news is that she is finally somewhere where she can get some help. And maybe they will even force her into it. I think that the only way we were ever going to get her the help she needs. |
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Post by mikklynn on Oct 3, 2021 12:38:15 GMT
Oh, dear friend, I am so sorry. Thank goodness she is in the hospital.
I hope they keep her and get her the help she needs.
Please, please be gentle with yourself right now.
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Post by Basket1lady on Oct 3, 2021 12:47:10 GMT
I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this, but pray that it will be the turning point that your DD needs to get help. What an incredibly stressful time for you and your family.
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Post by cakediva on Oct 3, 2021 12:54:29 GMT
Oh jeremysgirl I'm so sorry. ((((HUGS)))) to you. I can't even relate to how you must feel, but just want to send squishy hugs and good thoughts. |
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Post by gramasue on Oct 3, 2021 12:57:11 GMT
jeremysgirl Wish I could give you hugs. So sorry you, your DD, and the whole family are suffering so. Someday I hope she is thankful for you, of course, but all others who are looking out for her. Please take care of you and let Jeremy take care of you too!! You're right. This is what's important right now. Sending prayers that the professionals will give her the help she needs. Sending hugs to you and hoping that you can finally relax a tiny bit and take care of yourself. |
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PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,840
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on Oct 3, 2021 13:15:07 GMT
I'm so sorry you and yours are going through all this but glad she is in custody of professionals and hope she gets the help she needs. ((hugs))
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Post by JoP on Oct 3, 2021 13:21:22 GMT
Sending you positive thoughts and ((((hugs)))) keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. I’m glad she’s getting some help from the professionals 🥰😘
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Post by destined2bmom on Oct 3, 2021 13:26:57 GMT
Huge hugs and prayers for you jeremysgirl. I am so sorry that you are going through all of this; but I am so happy that your DD is where she needs to be right now. Please let me know if there is anything that I can do for you. |
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Post by lostwithout2peas on Oct 3, 2021 13:31:59 GMT
Sending you hugs once again. Praying for a good outcome. I felt the most peace when my loved one was taken inpatient. I had hoped it was the end of the awfulness and her beginning of taking care of herself. Of course since then it hasn't been perfect, but it's never been as bad as it was and she can now accept she has mental illness and that we aren't the enemy. I hope this is the case for you.
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Post by gillyp on Oct 3, 2021 13:36:32 GMT
I really hope this is a turning point and she will get the help she so clearly needs. It saddens me greatly that this happens in many instances. I hope the medics give her the time and attention she needs and that she understands this will help.
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purplebee
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,801
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Post by purplebee on Oct 3, 2021 13:45:14 GMT
Thankfully she is safe and hopefully getting the treatment she needs. Hugs….
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Post by annaintx on Oct 3, 2021 13:49:49 GMT
I have always, always admired you, how willing you are to share your mental health struggles, how open you are with your life and your beliefs etc.
I am so deeply sorry that you are going through this, but it sounds like at least now, she will get some help she desperately needs.
YOU are an AWESOME MOM AND PERSON. So many hugs and much love to you.
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Post by emelle64 on Oct 3, 2021 13:52:03 GMT
I am so so sorry you were going through this. I have no words advice I just wanted you to know that you’ve been heard. It takes a very strong person to do what you did drawing that line in the sand. My heart goes out to you.
Emelle
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Post by CarolinaGirl71 on Oct 3, 2021 14:26:23 GMT
Hugs and comfort to you. Hopeful she will get proper evaluation and treatment!
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Hugs!
