|
|
Post by librarylady on Nov 26, 2021 13:17:09 GMT
Nephew's wife brings raw vegetable pre meal snacking tray--a huge one--every Thanksgiving.
Problem is that she arrives when we sit down to eat.
IMO, if that is your contribution, arrive early or bring over the day before, but not at a time when it won't be eaten. She lives close enough to do so.
|
|
|
|
Post by gramasue on Nov 26, 2021 13:22:12 GMT
If none of it gets eaten, does she take it back home? If she leaves it, it would be handy to have all those veggies to make turkey soup!
Don't blame you for your vent, though. That's frustrating.
|
|
|
|
Post by leannec on Nov 26, 2021 13:26:17 GMT
When we were having big dinners scheduled with ex's family his one brother was always late ... so annoying ... eventually we started telling him the start time was actually at least an hour earlier than it actually was so that he would show up on time!  Maybe you could do the same thing! She shows up an hour early with her veggie tray!  |
|
|
|
Post by paulao on Nov 26, 2021 13:28:18 GMT
There are people who simply cannot be on time. Fortunately her contribution isn’t a main part of the meal. Leave it in the kitchen while having dinner. Or tell her she doesn’t need to bring anything.
|
|
lindas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,306 
|
Post by lindas on Nov 26, 2021 13:30:11 GMT
Next year ask her to bring a pie instead, problem solved.
|
|
|
|
Post by gar on Nov 26, 2021 13:37:09 GMT
Talk to her! Ask if she could pop it round earlier so that there's more time to enjoy it...tell her dinner is half an hour earlier than it really is or ask her to do something different (in a nice way).
|
|
artbabe
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,406
|
Post by artbabe on Nov 26, 2021 15:19:16 GMT
We always do a buffet line for Thanksgiving and Christmas and the tray is part of the line. We do have it sitting out before but I think the majority of it is eaten during dinner or afterwards.
I always make the relish tray (that is what grandma always called it). It is probably the most expensive thing to bring (I like lots of variety) but I don't cook much and cutting vegetables is less stressful for me than trying to cook something. I like being artistic (see my peaname) so I like to go all fancy with the presentation and garnishes.
The leftovers that work (celery, carrots, peppers, etc.) go into stir fry the next day.. There are never any left over olives or pickles.
I can see how you would want it out earlier because that does seem to be the point of it but in my family that would be a non-issue.
|
|
|
|
Post by shamrock on Nov 26, 2021 15:32:18 GMT
When we were having big dinners scheduled with ex's family his one brother was always late ... so annoying ... eventually we started telling him the start time was actually at least an hour earlier than it actually was so that he would show up on time! Maybe you could do the same thing! She shows up an hour early with her veggie tray! For years my dad would tell his sister, my aunt, that gatherings started an hour earlier than they actually did. She’d still be late, but like 10-15 minutes instead of over an hour. |
|
|
|
Post by myshelly on Nov 26, 2021 15:49:34 GMT
Nephew's wife brings raw vegetable pre meal snacking tray--a huge one--every Thanksgiving. Problem is that she arrives when we sit down to eat. IMO, if that is your contribution, arrive early or bring over the day before, but not at a time when it won't be eaten. She lives close enough to do so. When people are discussing the meal are they saying something like Thanksgiving is at 1:00 and she’s arriving at 1:00? Or are they saying Come over at 12:00 And then y’all eat at 1:00? Just tell her what time you want her to be there. I would never, ever just randomly come early if I was told to be there at a certain time as I think that’s rude. |
|
|
|
Post by melanell on Nov 26, 2021 15:50:08 GMT
Depending on what time you eat your main meal that day, can it be a post-meal snacking tray later?
We always eat around 3pm, so at about 7ish, something like that would work for us, personally.
Otherwise, I do wonder why one would continue to even want to bring something they see doesn't get eaten??
|
|
|
|
Post by ~summer~ on Nov 26, 2021 15:52:21 GMT
I’m curious if anyone eats a raw vegetable tray.
That would frustrate me as well, next year I’d ask ahead of time if she can drop it early when you are setting up.
|
|
|
|
Post by quinlove on Nov 26, 2021 16:18:39 GMT
Are they fresh enough to freeze ? I also like using them in a soup.
|
|
|
|
Post by papercrafteradvocate on Nov 26, 2021 16:50:57 GMT
Nephew's wife brings raw vegetable pre meal snacking tray--a huge one--every Thanksgiving. Problem is that she arrives when we sit down to eat. IMO, if that is your contribution, arrive early or bring over the day before, but not at a time when it won't be eaten. She lives close enough to do so. We have a fam member who always brings appetizers…that have to be baked…. Yep. She brings them unbaked and needs the oven. On thanksgiving… |
|
|
|
Post by Crack-a-lackin on Nov 26, 2021 17:25:40 GMT
Since she does it every year she clearly doesn’t know that you expect it early. She probably goes home every year wondering why nobody eats the vegetables.
|
|
|
|
Post by iamkristinl16 on Nov 26, 2021 18:42:45 GMT
When we get together with extended family, they usually say people can come at xxx time but we will eat at yyy time. People bring veggie trays or cheese and crackers to snack on before hand, but the veggies stay out for the meal as well. I assume she is arriving closer to yyy time and by that time the snacking is over. I guess if i was hosting I might say something lighthearted to let her know that it would be nice to have the veggies earlier so you don’t feel like you have to provide something else for snacking.
|
|
|
|
Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Nov 26, 2021 19:23:26 GMT
I’m curious if anyone eats a raw vegetable tray.That would frustrate me as well, next year I’d ask ahead of time if she can drop it early when you are setting up. In my family, the answer apparently is "everything but the cauliflower."  |
|
|
|
Post by epeanymous on Nov 26, 2021 19:38:02 GMT
I’m curious if anyone eats a raw vegetable tray. That would frustrate me as well, next year I’d ask ahead of time if she can drop it early when you are setting up. I love a veggie tray! One of my least favorite aspects of hosting Thanksgiving is having to guess when people will show up. I tell them, “the meal is being served at X time,” and then people will show up 30 minutes after X, when we’ve been waiting around, and say, “oh, we’re not going to eat right when I get here, are we?” I’ve disinvited the ones who cannot seem to get it together no matter what I do, like the ones who decide to leave at the time that gets them to the house but do other things on the way over and say that it’s not a relaxing holiday if they need a schedule. That is fine! For them! But it’s no fun for me to host people who have that as the holiday priority. The ones who are willing to be reasonable, I give them the early fake time and by the time they show, the timing is usually ok. |
|
|
|
Post by littlemama on Nov 26, 2021 20:17:09 GMT
I’m curious if anyone eats a raw vegetable tray. That would frustrate me as well, next year I’d ask ahead of time if she can drop it early when you are setting up. I love a veggie tray! One of my least favorite aspects of hosting Thanksgiving is having to guess when people will show up. I tell them, “the meal is being served at X time,” and then people will show up 30 minutes after X, when we’ve been waiting around, and say, “oh, we’re not going to eat right when I get here, are we?” I’ve disinvited the ones who cannot seem to get it together no matter what I do, like the ones who decide to leave at the time that gets them to the house but do other things on the way over and say that it’s not a relaxing holiday if they need a schedule. That is fine! For them! But it’s no fun for me to host people who have that as the holiday priority. The ones who are willing to be reasonable, I give them the early fake time and by the time they show, the timing is usually ok. I corrected MILs habit of needing to arrive well after everyone else. I stated the time for dinner and when it was that time, we sat down to dinner. When she showed up, she ate. 🤷🏼♀️ I refuse to make guests who are on time wait for someone who chooses not to be. She arrives on time now. |
|
|
|
Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Nov 27, 2021 1:56:27 GMT
I too, wonder if there is confusion, between arrival time and eating time.
In My Family, we are told "dinner is at 2:00pm (or whatever time it is scheduled for)". This means arrive any time well before 2:00pm for visitation time, the majority arrive between 10:00am and 1:00pm depending how long one wants to hang out. Those who are working may not get there until closer to 2:00pm.
The two households that alternate hosting, are everyone's welcome-any time type households.
I base my arrival time, on that days abililty to tolerate certain Family members, as well as depending on who is going to be in attendance, meaning if the kids (<< young adults) are going to be home from College, out of state, up North, etc.. then I go extra early to see them. In general, I arrive about 45-60minutes prior to dinner, for visitation time.
If I am invited somewhere that is not the usual Family or Friends(all of whom, I know their arrival likes, dislikes, preferences, etc...), then I arrive no earlier than 10 minutes prior to the appointed time.
If I were hosting, I would not like early arrivals (no earlier than 10-15 minutes of the designated time).
I think I am about the only one, in my Family and friends, that dislikes the "drop in, stop by....any time".
I am the >> call first, preferably a days notice, but definitely at least a couple hours notice, type of person. I do not like unannounced, last minute, drop in or stop by visitors.
|
|
smcast
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,509
Location: MN
|
Post by smcast on Nov 27, 2021 2:13:36 GMT
We would set it out for people to munch on all afternoon.
|
|
caangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,734
Location: So Cal
|
Post by caangel on Nov 27, 2021 6:57:16 GMT
I’m curious if anyone eats a raw vegetable tray. That would frustrate me as well, next year I’d ask ahead of time if she can drop it early when you are setting up. I love a veggie tray! One of my least favorite aspects of hosting Thanksgiving is having to guess when people will show up. I tell them, “the meal is being served at X time,” and then people will show up 30 minutes after X, when we’ve been waiting around, and say, “oh, we’re not going to eat right when I get here, are we?” I’ve disinvited the ones who cannot seem to get it together no matter what I do, like the ones who decide to leave at the time that gets them to the house but do other things on the way over and say that it’s not a relaxing holiday if they need a schedule. That is fine! For them! But it’s no fun for me to host people who have that as the holiday priority. The ones who are willing to be reasonable, I give them the early fake time and by the time they show, the timing is usually ok. Why don't you just tell people when to show up vs when dinner is? As a guest I'd hate having to guess at how early before dinner is appropriate. If someone tells me a time I assume they want me at that time and not before or after unless they say so. In our family we always say what time to come over (2pm) and what time dinner is (4pm) in case people can't be there earlier due to work. If the same person/people are always late, and the tell them an earlier time trick doesn't work, then yeah I'd start with out them. |
|
|
|
Post by monklady123 on Nov 27, 2021 11:46:01 GMT
I love a veggie tray! One of my least favorite aspects of hosting Thanksgiving is having to guess when people will show up. I tell them, “the meal is being served at X time,” and then people will show up 30 minutes after X, when we’ve been waiting around, and say, “oh, we’re not going to eat right when I get here, are we?” I’ve disinvited the ones who cannot seem to get it together no matter what I do, like the ones who decide to leave at the time that gets them to the house but do other things on the way over and say that it’s not a relaxing holiday if they need a schedule. That is fine! For them! But it’s no fun for me to host people who have that as the holiday priority. The ones who are willing to be reasonable, I give them the early fake time and by the time they show, the timing is usually ok. I corrected MILs habit of needing to arrive well after everyone else. I stated the time for dinner and when it was that time, we sat down to dinner. When she showed up, she ate. 🤷🏼♀️ I refuse to make guests who are on time wait for someone who chooses not to be. She arrives on time now. This is one of my pet peeves for anything, not just dinners.  I actually stopped attending my local Moms Demand Action group because every. single. time. the group leader would say "we're going to wait a few more minutes for everyone to arrive because you know how the parking is...." Meanwhile the rest of us who somehow managed to find parking (small-ish parking lot but free street parking in every direction but you might need to walk a block or two back to the church, and everyone knew this so why not build this into your timing?  ) were just sitting there twiddling our thumbs. Nope. No incentive to arrive on time if you know the organizer is going to wait for late-comers. So I stopped going. And yes I told them why. |
|
keithurbanlovinpea
Pearl Clutcher
Flowing with the go...
Posts: 4,305
|
Post by keithurbanlovinpea on Nov 27, 2021 13:05:27 GMT
This is definitely not something I would allow my brain to be annoyed by. She showed up and she brought something. "Thank you for coming, it's great to see you. We just started eating so feel free to join us once you are settled."
|
|
teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,159
|
Post by teddyw on Nov 27, 2021 14:15:54 GMT
I’d tell her dinner is an hour earlier. You do run the risk of another family member telling her the time you told them though.
I just make sure to make or buy anything I really want for the dinner. If there’s an extra dish oh well.
|
|
sweetpeasmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,707
|
Post by sweetpeasmom on Nov 27, 2021 14:28:30 GMT
I’m curious if anyone eats a raw vegetable tray. That would frustrate me as well, next year I’d ask ahead of time if she can drop it early when you are setting up. Our family and friend group does like a raw veggie tray. Although for big meals like Thanksgiving, we typically don't have an appetizer. Maybe Christmas if we are eating late, like 7pm.
There are people who simply cannot be on time. Fortunately her contribution isn’t a main part of the meal. Leave it in the kitchen while having dinner. Or tell her she doesn’t need to bring anything. One year for Easter, I hosted (have for many years) but mil was bringing the ham. The main part of the meal. I set the time for lunch around like 12:30 or 1pm (can't remember). She didn't show up for an hour later. With the main part of the meal. Never again did I have anyone bringing something that was considered a main dish. Last year for Thanksgiving, my sister was supposed to bring the green beans (she makes them really good). She showed up as we were all finishing. Then she proceeded to eat her plate and then make a plate to go with a HUGE portion of the mac and cheese. My kids were pissed!
We tried the tell my mil an hour earlier trick. She caught on.
|
|
|
|
Post by melanell on Nov 27, 2021 17:19:12 GMT
Since she does it every year she clearly doesn’t know that you expect it early. She probably goes home every year wondering why nobody eats the vegetables. Well you know what they say about continuing to do the exact same thing over and over while hoping for different results.  |
|
|
|
Post by epeanymous on Nov 27, 2021 17:42:14 GMT
I love a veggie tray! One of my least favorite aspects of hosting Thanksgiving is having to guess when people will show up. I tell them, “the meal is being served at X time,” and then people will show up 30 minutes after X, when we’ve been waiting around, and say, “oh, we’re not going to eat right when I get here, are we?” I’ve disinvited the ones who cannot seem to get it together no matter what I do, like the ones who decide to leave at the time that gets them to the house but do other things on the way over and say that it’s not a relaxing holiday if they need a schedule. That is fine! For them! But it’s no fun for me to host people who have that as the holiday priority. The ones who are willing to be reasonable, I give them the early fake time and by the time they show, the timing is usually ok. Why don't you just tell people when to show up vs when dinner is? As a guest I'd hate having to guess at how early before dinner is appropriate. If someone tells me a time I assume they want me at that time and not before or after unless they say so. In our family we always say what time to come over (2pm) and what time dinner is (4pm) in case people can't be there earlier due to work. If the same person/people are always late, and the tell them an earlier time trick doesn't work, then yeah I'd start with out them. Oh, yeah. Reasonable humans get the “we’d love to have you at around 2:30–the plan is to eat the big dinner around 4:00, but we’ll have some wine and snacks beforehand.” Maybe I’ve just had some uniquely horrifying guests, but I’ve always had the “well I figured if the dinner wasn’t until 4 that whether I show up for social hour is up to me, so here I am, having hit the early Black Friday sales, at your house at 4:30.” Ugh. |
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Nov 28, 2021 12:21:45 GMT
I'm another that stopped waiting on a perpetually late family member. I didn't even offer to reheat the food.
I would just ask her to drop the veggie tray off in the morning or the day before.
|
|
vexedangel
Full Member
Posts: 401
Nov 4, 2018 20:14:04 GMT
|
Post by vexedangel on Nov 28, 2021 13:45:54 GMT
Nephew's wife brings raw vegetable pre meal snacking tray--a huge one--every Thanksgiving. Problem is that she arrives when we sit down to eat. IMO, if that is your contribution, arrive early or bring over the day before, but not at a time when it won't be eaten. She lives close enough to do so. We have a fam member who always brings appetizers…that have to be baked…. Yep. She brings them unbaked and needs the oven. On thanksgiving… My MIL brought a casserole. Cold, and wanted to warm it up. She brought it in an insulated carrier--it could have been hot!  BUT SHE PACKED IT WITH 4 ICE PACKS. Even my husband thought it was funny. |
|
vexedangel
Full Member
Posts: 401
Nov 4, 2018 20:14:04 GMT
|
Post by vexedangel on Nov 28, 2021 13:48:14 GMT
I’m curious if anyone eats a raw vegetable tray. That would frustrate me as well, next year I’d ask ahead of time if she can drop it early when you are setting up. I love a veggie tray! One of my least favorite aspects of hosting Thanksgiving is having to guess when people will show up. I tell them, “the meal is being served at X time,” and then people will show up 30 minutes after X, when we’ve been waiting around, and say, “oh, we’re not going to eat right when I get here, are we?” I’ve disinvited the ones who cannot seem to get it together no matter what I do, like the ones who decide to leave at the time that gets them to the house but do other things on the way over and say that it’s not a relaxing holiday if they need a schedule. That is fine! For them! But it’s no fun for me to host people who have that as the holiday priority. The ones who are willing to be reasonable, I give them the early fake time and by the time they show, the timing is usually ok. This year was my first year hosting Thanksgiving (I've hosted other things before, but since we lived far away, everyone was there the whole time, there was no "arrival" and "meal" time...). I told everyone we were eating at 1. They all showed up at 11. I had not told anyone they were welcome earlier--they just decided that. Good to know for next time! I hadn't quite finished the charcuterie board/relish tray. |
|
I actually stopped attending my local Moms Demand Action group because every. single. time. the group leader would say "we're going to wait a few more minutes for everyone to arrive because you know how the parking is...." Meanwhile the rest of us who somehow managed to find parking (small-ish parking lot but free street parking in every direction but you might need to walk a block or two back to the church, and everyone knew this so why not build this into your timing? 
) were just sitting there twiddling our thumbs. Nope. No incentive to arrive on time if you know the organizer is going to wait for late-comers. So I stopped going. And yes I told them why. 
BUT SHE PACKED IT WITH 4 ICE PACKS. Even my husband thought it was funny.