My grandson is gay and suicidal.

There you are…. I had wished well for grandson earlier knowing how hurtful you have been in the past. Hoping that your perspective had shifted. We all have the chance to know better and do better.

Rights can’t be stripped away when they had been denied in the first place. Find a local or online support group to help yourself understand. FFS.

Well, since you asked:

For the full list of Trump’s attacks on LGBTQ people, visit HRC.org/Trump.

Opposition to the Equality Act: Despite support from almost every segment of the U.S. population and a majority of Republicans, President Trump opposed the Equality Act. In May, the House passed the Equality Act, voting to guarantee critical non-discrimination protections for LGBTQ people among other crucial rights.

Appointed anti-LGBTQ judges: Trump has appointed anti-LGBTQ judges with alarming anti-LGBTQ records to appointments at every level of the judicial system, including anti-equality Supreme Court Justices Gorsuch and Kavanaugh and federal nominees Kacsmaryk, Mateer, Bounds, Vitter. Menashi and others.

Joked about Pence’s desire to hang LGBTQ people: In 2017, Trump joked about Vice President Pence’s anti-gay agenda saying “Don’t ask that guy—he wants to hang them all!”

In the Workplace

Supported employment discrimination against LGBTQ people: The Trump administration submitted amicus briefs to the U.S. Supreme Court supporting discrimination against LGBTQ people.

Banned transgender service members from the military: Against the expert advice of military leadership, medical authorities, budget analysts, 70% of Americans and the armed forces of allied countries, Trump and Pence banned transgender people from serving in the military.

Rolled back Obama-era non-discrimination protections: Trump’s Department of Justice upended previous DOJ interpretations of the Civil Rights Act that protect transgender and non-binary workers from employment discrimination and ceased enforcing non-discrimination protections as well as taking a hostile stance to LGBTQ workers in court.

Issued rule to license discrimination: Trump’s Department of Labor issued a regulation designed to allow federal contractors to claim a religious exemption to fire LGBTQ workers because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

Kicked people living with HIV out of the military because of their status: The Department of Defense instituted a “Deploy or Get Out” policy, which would remove military personnel living with HIV from service solely because of their status.

Created a hostile work environment for LGBTQ federal employees: According to Politico: “[The Trump administration] fostered a climate where six staffers who are LGBT described removing their wedding rings before coming to work in the morning, taking down photos of their partners and families or ultimately finding new jobs further away from certain political appointees. They did not want to be identified; two said they feared being reassigned for being gay.”

In Health Care

Undermine Section 1557 Rule: HHS published a proposed major change to the administrative rule interpreting Section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act (ACA) to remove explicit protections for LGBTQ people in healthcare programs and activities by excluding LGBTQ people from protections from discrimination based on sex stereotyping and gender identity.

Advocated for the elimination of the entire Affordable Care Act: The Justice Department issued a legal filing arguing that the entirety of the Affordable Care Act should be overturned. This move would jeopardize health care for over 130 million people with preexisting conditions like HIV and eliminate non-discrimination protections for LGBTQ people.

Created a Religious Discrimination Division: HHS created a new office whose sole purpose would be to defend physicians and other medical professionals who decide to refuse care, including to LGBTQ patients.

Proposed cutting over $1.35 billion from PEPFAR budget: In his proposed FY 2019 budget, Trump cut $1.35 billion from, or 29% of PEPFAR’s budget. PEPFAR is the U.S. government program that fights AIDS abroad.

In Schools

Guidance for Schools on Transgender Students: The Departments of Education and Justice eliminated Obama-era guidance clarifying that schools must treat transgender students consistent with their gender identity. This encourages schools officials to permit harassment of transgender students, deny access to facilities consistent with gender identity, and refuse to use correct names and pronouns -- all inflicting untold emotional harm.

Rejected Complaints From Transgender Students: The Department of Education refused to respond to civil complaints filed by transgender students, including those who were barred from using bathrooms that correspond with their gender identity. This increases the burden for transgender students to combat these harmful policies.

Suggested it is acceptable for schools to discriminate against LGBTQ students while accepting tax-payer funds: Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos has refused to rule out federal funding for schools that discriminate against LGBTQ students and has declined to state she would otherwise intervene should discrimination occur.

Sexual Assault: DeVos rescinded Title IX rules related to schools’ obligations to address sexual harassment, including sexual violence. By eliminating the Obama-era rules, DeVos increased the standard of proof from “preponderance of the evidence” to “clear and convincing evidence” making it more difficult for survivors of sexual assault to obtain justice. LGBTQ people are disproportionately affected by sexual assault and harassment, and the stigma that many LGBTQ people face can make it more difficult for survivors to report.

Eliminated language protecting LGBTQ children participating in the 4-H program: The Trump-Pence Administration ordered 4-H programs to remove a policy specifically welcoming LGBTQ children in the 4-H program, which led to the firing of an official who protested.

Used Title IX to discriminate against trans students: the Department of Education claimed that school policies allowing trans youth to participate in sports consistent with their gender identity violated federal law and threatened to withhold funds.

In Housing

Allowed emergency shelters to deny access to transgender and gender nonconforming people: Despite the fact that LGBTQ people are significantly more likely to experience homelessness in their lives, HUD Secretary Ben Carson has proposed a rule to permit emergency shelters to deny access or otherwise discriminate against transgender and gender nonconforming peoplewho are homeless. HUD also canceled a scheduled survey on LGBTQ homelessness.

Placed transgender incarcerated persons in the wrong prison: The Federal Bureau of Prisons (BOP) rolled back an Obama-era policy that housed transgender prisoners consistent with their gender identity. With transgender people experiencing sexual assault at higher rates than average, this decision only puts them at further risk of assault.

In Families

Allowed foster care programs to discriminate while accepting tax-payer funds: Trump-Pence White House has proposed a federal regulation that would strip away nondiscrimination requirements and permit all Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) grant recipients, notably adoption and foster care agencies, to discriminate against LGBTQ people, and in many circumstances religious minorities and women, and still receive federal funding.

Refused visas to partners of diplomats: The State Department began refusing visas for same-sex partners of some diplomats and U.N. workers if they are not married.

Changed rules to deny surrogate born children citizenship: The Trump Administration has interpreted immigration rules specifically so the child of a same-sex couple born abroad via surrogate would be considered "born out of wedlock" and making it more difficult to obtain U.S. citizenship.

In Representation

Erased transgender people: Trump’s HHS proposed a new definition that would narrowly define sex as either male or female, unchangeable, and determined by birth. According to the New York Times: “The new definition would essentially eradicate federal recognition of the estimated 1.4 million [transgender] Americans.” In addition, agency staff, including those at the Centers for Disease Control, have been instructed to stop using the word transgender in official reports.

Eliminated information on LGBTQ rights, mentions, and representation on government websites: Within hours of Trump’s swearing-in, pages on LGBTQ rights and recognition were removed from government websites, including the White House.

Blocked questions regarding sexual orientation from consideration for the census: Trump and Pence have sought to block questions on sexual orientation from the census in order to erase LGBTQ people from official counts. This would, in turn, prevent the collection of crucial data that could help improve government programs and resources for LGBTQ people.

Refused to recognize LGBTQ people in National AIDS day Address: Despite being the community most affected by the epidemic, Vice President Pence has consistently refused to acknowledge LGBTQ people in his addresses on National AIDS day.

I am very sorry to hear that Rainbow and I am very glad he's reached out for help. I suspect it is everything coming together. Kids who are abandoned by their parents blame themselves. Even though the parents bailed on him when he was young, he could well think that because he's 'different' he deserved it; that on some level he's being punished for being gay. Please, please, please give him the message that this is not true... he has done nothing wrong, and none of what's happened with his parents is his fault.

Editted to add: 

Rainbow - ENOUGH.

Your focus needs to be on this young man. Just STOP with the Trump stuff. If you & your daughter really want to help this young man, you are going to HAVE to get some help for yourself & you're going to have to examine how your beliefs have given him the message that he can't be who he is. That's your JOB as one of the adults in this kid's life. 

You are in for a tough time. The work you're going to all have to do to help him is HARD, and it's not about you. It's about HIM. 

Suck it up, Buttercup. 

Rainbow - I understand that. What I'm saying - and I'll only say it one more time - is that he may unconsciously fear that he was abandoned BECAUSE he's gay. Most kids who are gay know they're different for a long time. So the subject may come up & you need to be prepared for it.

I am very sorry for your grandson. I hope he finds peace, love and support always.

I am so sorry.

I wish I could give and him a big hug.

I hesitated to respond to this post, as well. I feel so sad for your grandson, but also remember that you don't accept gay people. "no matter what" isn't acceptance. You love your grandson, despite... When I saw my name in some of the posts I jumped in. We did argue, because I used to get so fed up when you would come out w/anti-gay statements. Despite years on the board, you wouldn't stop and I finally had to block you. I unblocked for this, because your grandson is in crisis and he deserves unconditional love and happiness. If you really want to help your dgs then get help for yourself. Join a support group in support of the gay community and show your dgs that you stand by him. Your dgs needs hope and healing. Imagine how life changing it could be if you showed him that level of support? Let him know that being gay is natural and healthy and that you will stand by his side as he navigates the world. You have a real opportunity for growth, as well. I will think healing, happy thoughts for your grandson. He deserves a wonderful life w/a wonderful partner.

Do you still think being gay is a mental illness?

Oh, no you don’t. Your thread title is “My grandson is gay and suicidal”, not “My grandson feels worthless and is suicidal”, or My grandson feels abandoned and is suicidal.”

You connected the fact that he’s gay with the fact that he’s suicidal. Not anything else. Why would the fact that he’s gay matter at all if that isn’t what’s making him suicidal?

You’re a piece of work. You have a gay loved one in crisis and you will probably learn absolutely nothing. At least, that’s what you’re showing here. You dig in deeper.

Many here are being kind to you, but your attitude has literally killed people.  My kindness is reserved for LGBT and those who FULLY accept them. Not “in spite of” anything.

Of course we want people to learn something. I think of the quote by I think Maya Angelou, something like "When we know better, we do better." But has rainbow really changed and softened her heart? Did she post anything like, "I am so sorry for the attitudes I once had, and I feel terrible for the way I talked about LGBTQ people here over the years." NOPE. Not even close. Perhaps if she had done something even close to that, people would be more understanding. Several even asked her if she still thinks being gay is a mental illness, and she completely ignored them.

Then why did you even mention it in the title?

You were presented with a long list of ways in which the former administration rescinded or denied rights and you want only links to specific federal legislation (btw: state GOP-backed legislation abounds).

For somebody who has regularly chided people here for calling the US a “democracy” and not a “constitutional republic,” you don’t need to be reminded that there are three branches of government and that the executive branch (through federal cabinet-level agencies), the military, and the judiciary branch have a role in doling out civil rights. 

Instead, you blame the “shameful” media for creating a climate in which LGBTQ people feel depressed, marginalized and hopeless. 

You returned here after a long absence and your VERY FIRST words were “My grandson is gay.” It.took.first.billing. It was put in the same sentence with a heartbreaking mental health crisis. It reads like equal tragedies in your mind.

THEN you spent all your energy claiming that what you made so relevant through your word choice is instead irrelevant. NOW you’re spending your energy denying that your political party and ideology is devoted to denying your grandson rights and respect. 

I’m sure you love your grandson “no matter.” But if you’ve made room for that love because he’s not like Them - just like a friend of color or immigrant might be acceptable to you because she’s not like Them - he’s going to know it. Or knows it already.

Just like we as readers know what lies beneath the words you chose.

My first impulse was to respond w/both your points. 1. Executive doesn't legislate and 2. Links were in the post to find out more.

My second impulse was to remember who I was dealing with and just wish her grandson well. Nothing will change the beliefs of some. Not even tragedy in their own lives based on those beliefs.