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Post by chances on Dec 30, 2021 13:44:47 GMT
On the thread about Prince William allegedly cheating there was mention of women always being drawn to men with status and money (no matter how they look or act).
I have read and heard sooooo many men bitch and complain about how women won’t give a short guy a chance and only want to date men with money. I know these are separate issues but I hear them paired together so much. Many of the most angry comments are from incels on the internet but I have definitely heard slightly milder versions in person.
I dated a super attractive guy who was 5’5 and he would occasionally complain about how short men never get attention. I look at him like the fool he is bc I am *literally* on a date with him. What am I ? Chopped liver?😂
Height and money (and status) do not make a man more attractive to me. My straight women friends almost all feel the way (with some exceptions for guys who are much shorter than them). All of them have their own money and don’t care about his. They routinely date men with significantly less money. Yet, these guys whine too!
Anyway, the previous comments made me wonder if some women believe this as well. Does money make a man more or less attractive? Does height? For me, it doesn’t mean anything either way.
Thanks for weighing in! Dealbreaker just means there is a height or income that you would refuse to date.
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Post by Linda on Dec 30, 2021 13:59:13 GMT
none of the above
personality and character are what make a man attractive to me. DH is shorter than I am (5'7") fwiw - and we started out downright poor (solidly middle class now)
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Post by jenb72 on Dec 30, 2021 14:00:02 GMT
For the right guy, I'm willing to overlook a guy being shorter than me, but I would prefer a taller guy. I also don't care if he's wealthy, although I would at least like him to be responsible with money, even if he doesn't have a lot of it. (XH was horrible with it. So there's some history there.)
Jen
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Post by chances on Dec 30, 2021 14:02:04 GMT
none of the above personality and character are what make a man attractive to me. DH is shorter than I am (5'7") fwiw - and we started out downright poor (solidly middle class now) Damn it! None of the above would have been a good choice. Why don’t they let you edit polls?🙂 |
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Post by justkat on Dec 30, 2021 14:03:17 GMT
I prefer tall men (I'm not sure why but I always have done so). In fact,my husband is the shortest man I've ever dated and he's right at 6'. lol My late husband was 6'8! I'm only 5'3 1/2 so my deal-breaker would be anyone shorter than me.
As for money? My deal-breaker would be unemployed/living off me. As long as he's gainfully employed,his actual income doesn't matter as much to me. However I do think when a couple has similar incomes it's easier as it cuts down on any issues either person may have regarding finances/money in general.
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Post by librarylady on Dec 30, 2021 14:07:28 GMT
It depends on the woman and her value system.
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Post by Merge on Dec 30, 2021 14:10:02 GMT
I’m attracted to tall, smart, and goofy. I like a guy who makes me laugh. DH intended to be a history teacher or professor when I met him so there was no expectation of money and we were flat ass broke for a long time.
He decided to get his MBA and take his life in a different direction, which is great for us financially, but I wouldn’t say it makes him more attractive. He’s still tall, smart, and goofy, and he still makes me laugh.
I think some men just haven’t gotten over the fact that they’re not guaranteed a woman by default because now women don’t require a man for financial security and protection. Women have dealt with this since the beginning of time. Men have always been allowed to say what they like and don’t like in a woman and choose the one that suits them best, with no shortage of options because women had zero options except to be a wife and mother, but women often had to settle for what they could find or were left as a “spinster.”
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 20, 2024 23:03:14 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2021 14:10:20 GMT
I’m 6’2. I was never attracted to a man much shorter than me, but DH is the only man I ever dated who was actually taller than me. Height being a “deal breaker” was as much about my own perceptions of femininity and not wanting to feel like a giant around my mate, than it was about the man himself.
Money was never attractive to me.
ETA: this is only answering the question asked. I did not choose my husband because of his height. I was only answering if it affected my physical attraction to him.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Dec 30, 2021 14:14:00 GMT
There are days that I wish I had been more concerned with money-making potential before I got married lol. But, alas, you never know what could happen in that scenario as well.
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Deleted
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Sept 20, 2024 23:03:14 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2021 14:16:48 GMT
None of the above!
I always was attracted more to men roughly my size. My husband is 4 inches taller than me. If he was 8+ inches taller I don't think I would have asked him out. I did date someone about 2 inches shorter than me...and that was fine...he had an attractive personality: was funny and friendly. But I would not totally rule someone out on height.
Rich people are not attractive to me if they came by their riches through exploitation of others or workaholic habits. If they have passion and enthusiasm for what they do that is attractive. If they were lazy and expecting me to do all the work that is a turn off. I'm a hard worker and so is my DH and we need that to get by in this world.
But I would say "straight women" is a huge category and there is not going to be any consistency in responses. I think women and what they care about in a partner and what they end up doing is a giant huge topic that is largely unexplored and motivations are misunderstood. There is a long way to go in psychology and sociology...much more to study. Need to go much deeper. Interesting topic.
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Post by hop2 on Dec 30, 2021 14:17:52 GMT
I have deal breakers but none are about height or salary.
I won’t date a lazy person but I don’t care if they make a lot or not. I mean, I’m not ( wasn’t ) into perpetually jobless/taskless/hobby less partners with excuse after excuse. Even if they were rich people but still completely without any desire to do anything, I find that boring no matter if they are rich or poor. People who ‘work’ ( physically or mentally ) at something -anything - paid, underpaid or un paid are vastly more interesting than people who do not pursue any tasks or accomplishments or jobs or hobbies or anything.
I could care less how tall a guy is.
I won’t date a smoker blech, instant deal breaker.
Oh, and after my divorce I have higher standards but those standards have little to do with wealth or appearance and everything to do with how they treat me and other people. I’d rather be by myself than ever be disrespected or controlled ever again
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Post by gar on Dec 30, 2021 14:20:21 GMT
I like to feel ‘protected’ by my man so a guy who was shorter than me just wouldn’t appeal to me on a subliminal level, however he looked.
I can’t imagine being hugely attracted to a wealthy but unattractive man.
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smartypants71
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,804 
Location: Houston, TX
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Post by smartypants71 on Dec 30, 2021 14:29:55 GMT
Height makes no difference to me as long as they have confidence. My ex was equal to my height (5'7 - 8ish") but he hated when I wore heels (and told me so). Very unattractive quality.
My SO is a couple inches taller than me, but when I wear heels, I am taller than him. Not only does he not mind it, he loves it!
As far as money goes - sure! that's a great perk, but I think it's more important to me to have someone that is like-minded in their work ethic regardless of the paycheck.
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kelly8875
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Location: Lost in my supplies...
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Post by kelly8875 on Dec 30, 2021 14:30:19 GMT
I voted that height is more attractive. But I would not ignore someone not 'tall'.
DBF is about 5'11", so a few inches taller than me. XDH was my exact height. But I don't really care honestly. I'm 5'8".
There are changes in life that put people into some not ideal conditions, but those aren't deal breakers for me. Illnesses, injuries, mental health, can all change a person. IF you go into something expecting money making and accomplishments for the whole relationship you could be very disappointed later. I hope that couples learn to adapt with each other as time goes on.
What I had with XDH looked great on the outside, but didn't work. What I have with DBF doesn't, and it works. I know people talk about our relationship behind my back, but the longer we're together, they've stopped. Its' been 6-1/2 years together, and we have been through the illnesses, injuries, mental health, deaths, and everything in between. No giving up. So who cares if he's taller than me, or if I earn more money. We don't care.
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Post by elaine on Dec 30, 2021 14:32:17 GMT
I think some men just haven’t gotten over the fact that they’re not guaranteed a woman by default because now women don’t require a man for financial security and protection. Women have dealt with this since the beginning of time. Men have always been allowed to say what they like and don’t like in a woman and choose the one that suits them best, with no shortage of options because women had zero options except to be a wife and mother, but women often had to settle for what they could find or were left as a “spinster.” I agree with this. ^^^ I’m tall (5’8”) and height has never been an issue with me. My husband is 5’10” on a good day. I’m taller than he is if I wear any sort of heels. Money isn’t important as long as he is employed somehow. My first husband quit his job after we got married and also refused to take care of the house while I was busting my ass as a new professor, under a dean who complained if my car wasn’t still in the parking lot at 10 pm several nights per week. And I’d come home to a house full of dirty dishes and Taco Bell wrappers on the floor while my Dh was playing Sim City on the computer. That marriage only lasted a year. Intelligence and a sense of humor are the deal breakers for me. |
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Post by supersoda on Dec 30, 2021 14:34:51 GMT
My DH is 5’8”—taller than me unless I’m in heels (he calls me artificially tall!). It doesn’t bother me in the least. Height has never been a factor for me.
Money is more nuanced. I grew up working class and was turned off by guys who had everything handed to them and were living off Daddy’s money (I got married very young—while still in college—so I’m thinking waaay back to my dating days.) I guess I would say work ethic, financial responsibility, and a career are more important than income.
Besides, the best advice I ever got was from my great-grandmother, who was a flapper in the 20’s: “Never depend on a man for money.”
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Post by SockMonkey on Dec 30, 2021 14:40:53 GMT
I don't care so much about height, but being broke/unemployed is a deal breaker for me. Now, hard times are one thing, and I get it. My dad was in the trades and there would be layoffs. However, he never mismanaged money and always did side jobs/hustled and took care of us.
I dated someone who was a financial disaster when I was young, and I vowed to never ever marry someone like that.
I married someone who is incredibly financially savvy. He didn't make more money than me when we got married, but he hustled and worked hard, earned promotions, and now he makes more than me. The more than me isn't important; the ability to contribute/financial literacy is.
Now, would I marry rich just for the money? No. HELL NO.
But I would not attach myself to someone who couldn't hold their own.
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Dalai Mama
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La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Dec 30, 2021 14:44:12 GMT
My oldest made an off-hand comment about height recently which lead to a long an interesting conversation between me and my two sons. I had no idea that it was such a barrier for men in terms of dating. For context, both of my boys are 6’1” and the tallest of their friend groups and that apparently gives them a certain status that neither of them ever experienced in high school. 🤣🤣🤣
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Post by Zee on Dec 30, 2021 15:00:00 GMT
I'm pretty short (5' 2.5") so it's never been an issue for me to find a taller man. DH is about 5'9". My sister is 5'0" and her DH is about 5'6".
My son is pretty short at 5'6" and it is harder for him to find girls who are willing to date him. The girls he has dated were about my height. He's only 23 now but I suspect his lack of ambition in the career department is going to be another downfall one day if he doesn't get it together.
He probably just needs to be a mountain man. Preferably in Mexico or in the Andes, where local women tend to be shorter.
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Post by Merge on Dec 30, 2021 15:03:15 GMT
My DH is 5’8”—taller than me unless I’m in heels (he calls me artificially tall!). It doesn’t bother me in the least. Height has never been a factor for me. Money is more nuanced. I grew up working class and was turned off by guys who had everything handed to them and were living off Daddy’s money (I got married very young—while still in college—so I’m thinking waaay back to my dating days.) I guess I would say work ethic, financial responsibility, and a career are more important than income. Besides, the best advice I ever got was from my great-grandmother, who was a flapper in the 20’s: “Never depend on a man for money.” Curious what great grandma did in the 20s to earn her own money. |
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,788
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Post by Kerri W on Dec 30, 2021 15:04:02 GMT
Based on my own experience, I dated the most attractive guy in the room and he was lazy in every sense of the word. He was fun as heck but he didn't *work* for anything. He just expected people to like him, to give him a job, to hand over what he deemed he needed. He did have a great personality but truly the world was different for him because he was pretty. That's not attractive to me.
Looks are not my #1 criteria. I prefer personality and a good work ethic. I've also worked really hard to be where I am and I don't ever want to go back. So I guess to some extent money matters to me in that I'm not getting back on the struggle bus. Like several others have said...hard times are one thing but I expect you to hustle (the same as I would) to figure that out and get back on track.
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Post by busy on Dec 30, 2021 15:13:12 GMT
I've never dated a man under 6'. It's not some arbitrary dealbreaker - if I were dating, I wouldn't rule out someone on height alone - but based on my history, I tend to be attracted to taller men.
When I was dating, I didn't think too much about money, but I was in my early 20s. I was generally dating other college students or recent grads, and no one was rolling in it. Someone with family money who wasn't earning on their own wouldn't have been appealing to me. But. now, if I were dating, money would be a dealbreaker. I've worked hard and have been successful in my career. I'm in a financially secure place, and I have a child. I would not consider anyone else who didn't at least match me financially. There's just too much risk there IMO.
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maryannscraps
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Post by maryannscraps on Dec 30, 2021 15:53:40 GMT
Height didn’t really register to me as a requirement. Personality and being at a similar level of intelligence (emotionally and academically) is important to me. Having money isn’t a requirement, but having similar financial sense in setting goals, saving, and spending habits would be critical. I would absolutely hate arguing over money.
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breetheflea
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Post by breetheflea on Dec 30, 2021 16:05:04 GMT
I'm 5'4 so every guy I've ever been interested in was taller than me... Maybe someone closer to my height (DH is 6') would listen to my complaints about not putting heavy things on top of the fridge! Otherwise height wasn't something I thought much about...
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Post by Restless Spirit on Dec 30, 2021 16:09:16 GMT
I married taller. But then, I’m only 5’1”, so there’s that. DH is 5’10”. Our DD is 5’3”. Her hubby is 6’4” or 5”. My grandson takes after his dad’s side of the family (they are all tall). He will be 15 in March and is currently about 6’1” and still growing.
For me, it is all about character and integrity. Money and looks can not make up for the lack of either these traits.
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Post by ~summer~ on Dec 30, 2021 16:15:02 GMT
Well yes I’m attracted to tall, geeky guys - which usually goes along with some sort of engineering or computer science degree lol. I would say in general someone I would be interested does need to be “tall-ish” and gainfully employed with something that interests them - or at least have good hobbies. At this point in my life I don’t need someone else’s money.
But historically everyone I dated had at least college degrees and was involved in law or finance or engineering- I could see though if I was single again I could go for a totally different type of guy though! Lol
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purplebee
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Post by purplebee on Dec 30, 2021 16:17:55 GMT
Coming up on 50 years married to Dh. He is around 6’, I am 5’4. I have always been a bigger girl, happy when I can wear a size 12 jean, usually 14-16. I have always been self-conscious about my looks and weight. Dh is not overweight, but has a bigger frame. I feel better about how we look as a couple b/c of his height. (Yeah, totally shallow, I know…). Neither of us had any money when we married, and have worked hard to maintain a comfortable but nowhere near wealthy lifestyle. Dh is also very outgoing and a talker. I was pretty quiet and almost introverted when we met, so his personality was a big plus for me.
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Post by disneypal on Dec 30, 2021 16:18:19 GMT
Height doesn't matter to me one way or another (I am 5'1"). Money doesn't matter to me either but ambition does. If they work hard and strive for work goals, that is good with me.
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muggins
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by muggins on Dec 30, 2021 16:18:56 GMT
Height isn’t important to me as DH and I are both 5’6”.
He said he had a hard time in high school with girls wanting to mother him rather than date him.
I wouldn’t have married someone with limited career prospects.
However, similar values and beliefs are more important to me than height and money in terms of building a lasting relationship.
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Post by Sparki on Dec 30, 2021 16:31:57 GMT
I like a taller man, and my first husband was 6'3". I'm 5'4" and my husband now (first passed away) is the same height as me. Obviously not a deal breaker! He's very handsome and charming though. He would never have trouble finding a date. I would find unemployed or lazy to be deal breakers for me. In fact, I dated a guy who had money, but was lazy, and it was definitely a nonstarter.
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