How you spend your time?

My free time is very limited. I’m a SAHM to an almost toddler who demands a lot of attention. When he’s down for a nap, I rest. Or watch tv, or scroll tiktok, or scroll Reddit discussion threads of tv shows I enjoy. Or sometimes I finally have the motivation to read a book. I spend time scrolling and reading here too.

I’m sure to a lot of people it is time wasted, but I’m working more hours now as a mom than I ever did working full time. The daily needs of my family add up to a lot of hours and I wouldn’t be able to afford me if I were a full time nanny 😉.

I know this time is temporary and I’ll have more free time in the future for all of the projects and dreams I have, but for now I’m content to do a whole lot of nothing with my limited free time.

Outside of work, family activities and regular household stuff, when I have personal/alone free time—

I sleep.
I read.
I shop.
I hike.
I spend time with my dog.
I cook.
I craft.
I garden.

My empty nest came about a little later.. we had adult children and grands living with us until about 4 yrs ago... now it's just dh n myself...

We work 4 days on n 4 days off.... we work 12 hr shifts... 6a-6p...so when we get off in the evenings after 12 hrs in a factory... i just wanna eat shower n sleep... dh runs after work... for me ummm no thank you...

But on my 4 days off... i usually spend my 1st day off unpluggged from my phone... i try... some weeks are more successful then others... but that 1st day off i clean house and do laundry... its not ever super horrible... but after 4 days of working, it always needs something... especially the kitchen... lol


When the kitchen and bathroom are clean and our laundry is done... then i feel like i can do whatever i want... so for the next 3 days off, i catch up on everything i have recorded to watch (reality tv junkie!!!)... ill spend some time catching up on YouTube channels im subbed too... while im watching crapola... i am doing my hobbies... diamond painting, scrapbooking, cross stitch... i feel no guilt about any of this... i just finished a 48 hr work week and my house is clean... so watching tv n crafting makes me happy!!!!

On our last day off, i prep our lunches and dinner for the next 4 work days... mainly cuz im not gonna wanna cook when i get off.... so i have to make it easy or ill just get us drive thru... we live rural so we dont have door dash...

During my 4 days off i do walk for at least an hour... either around the fields by our house or on a treadmill if its too cold!!! I also do a resistance band youtube workout.... mainly because when im at work.. i don't do any exercise... but i am on my feet for a lot of that 12 hrs!!!

I have a lot of free time right now as I'm transitioning from so much revolving around my mother's care, then her estate and some issues around my husband's health to now where I am not in much of a caregiver role. I've been doing more self-care and spending a great deal of time in my studio.

I often feel I should be doing something else. I have some ideas about volunteer work but by the point I had time, Omicron was here so I figured I would wait until spring. It also gives me more time to be sure what I want to commit to. One idea I had right after Mother passed has already become unappealing to me.

I was raised in an environment where the business and work dominated so I feel like I should be either working or volunteering. A part time job is also a possibility; however. Still weighing my options.

In the meantime, I craft a lot and watch a lot of Hulu. I'm loving what I'm creating in the studio these days. Streaming is my biggest downtime activity. I often take little breaks to do Wordle or Nerdle and then I come to this site or catch up on the news and a little break can become a 45 minute break. I feel best about myself when I have a goal to work toward.

We are empty nesters, so I have way more free time than I ever had. I spend my time scrapbooking, doing household chores, laundry, read, and I volunteer at two organizations. All most all of the 'household' stuff is my responsibility and DH takes care of the outside stuff. I still take on some interior design work, though definitely not enough to consider a full time job (or even a part time job, really). In the past I was my moms primary caretaker before she passed. I also used to own my own home decor store.

Do I feel pulled to change how I spend my time? Yes. All the time. When people find out I don't work they always make comments about how I am wasting my talent, my degree, etc. I hate when people ask what I do now that my boys are adults. There's always a comment about how it must be nice. And it is nice....but I also know that we have sacrificed through the years so we didn't have debt and to be able to not be tied to a job.

Do I judge others? Nope. I try not to. I think everyone is usually doing the best they can and sometimes their situation doesn't look like mine and that's ok.

I am also an empty nester. I don't work outside the home. I spend my days picking up around the house (I have an every other week cleaner), doing laundry, grocery shopping and other errands, and preparing dinner 3-4 times a week. We like leftovers and we probably eat out/get take out 1-2x a week.

I had to find an outlet for the political/Covid craziness, so I started taking writing classes on Zoom--personal essay. So I spend quite a few hours a week deciding what I want to write about, composing in my head before putting anything on paper and then starting a piece longhand before finally typing it up on the computer for presenting to the class.

I walk my dog every day, I take two yoga classes a week, I have a personal trainer at the gym once a week, and I'm adding a couple of more days of cardio and weight/strength training to my regimen. My dog ruptured her ACL, and because she will be 13 next week, I have opted to use a brace rather than surgery. This is going to require extensive rehab so that will keep me pretty busy for the next few weeks.

I socialize infrequently with friends-maybe every other week.

I am not a high energy person--I need a lot of time just for futzing around, staring off into space, and dillydallying.

My goal this year is to introduce more fun into my life because I didn't have much fun during the Trump years. My goal is to read more and watch more tv/movies.

I'm not at all judgmental about how people spend their time, but I have been judgmental about the way I do. I associated relaxation/down time with the time earlier in my life when I was super depressed and spent a lot of time sitting around watching tv. I realized how burned out those years with the former guy made me, and I recognize that stepping back is healthy for me.

I am not productive at all in my free time and I am FINE with that!    

I work a very high stress job, live alone and have mental illness ... my free time is mine to do what I want ... that is usually a lot of time in front of the TV and computer ... I have no guilt about that because I need the downtime ...

I spend time with my adult dd's, my mum, a girlfriend and a "friend" as well!    

(I'm responding before reading any other posts, but will go back and read after.)

First, how I define free time: truly discretionary time, not just time when I'm not working. I don't consider running errands, housework, and the like to be "free time."

Second, how to I spend my free time: a mix of with family, friends and alone. A lot of that time is spent outside - hiking, walking, birding, exploring our area, etc. Some other things that come to mind: Getting coffee, going to drinks, doing fitness things with friends. Hanging out with DH and/or DS - just chatting, going out to eat, or whatever sounds fun at the time. Working out. Canoeing. Going to the beach. Playing ping pong. Reading. Writing. Learning and practicing some new technical/professional skills I'm developing. Sometimes, absolutely nothing. Just napping or listening to music. 

I don't have any current desire to change how I spend my free time. I'm satisfied with it. Some of the things I do with my time are productive, but I don't feel compelled to be productive with my free time. I've no desire to have a side hustle. I just want to enjoy what I'm doing with my time. I don't remember my mom doing anything fun with free time. She worked all the time. I work a lot too, but it's important to me to have outside interests and to be active. As far as life circumstances, for sure they influence how my free time is spent. DS is almost 14 now and has decided he's done with sports. He's been in various sports about 9 months a year since he was in first grade, so between covid first cutting the amount of sports time, to now him being done with them completely... that's definitely given me more time to do other things, and that's been nice. 

How much free time do I have? It varies. I am an early riser, up at 5 each day, and I use the first couple hours of my day to workout, read, write, or spend time on my new skills. It's my quiet time that's 100% for me and whatever I want to do with it. Weekday evenings don't tend to have much free time... maybe we'll watch a movie as a family, play ping pong, or whatever but that's when we try to get all the house chores and errands done, so our weekends are free. Generally speaking, weekends are all free time. Sometimes I do need to work some because I've got big projects or tight deadlines looming. But that's the exception, not the rule. 

I couldn't care less how other people spend their time, and I bristle if anyone judges how I use mine. We don't have to value the same things, but if the person doing it likes what they're doing, that's what matters. I work in tech, so sometimes it seems like everyone is steeped in hustle culture and is obsessed with monetizing their hobbies and spending non-work time on some kind of side hustle. No thanks. I work hard already. I don't want all my time to be productive. 

When I was teaching, raising kids, and trying to have a little bit of a life, I managed my time very well. I worked until around 4:30-5:00, got home and did about 20-30 minutes of cleaning, organizing, or laundry 5 days a week (left more time for goofing off on the weekend). I cooked dinner, and then graded papers until around 8:30 and did stuff with my kids. Then I had about 90 minutes to just veg out before I crashed. On weekends I ran my kids to sports, did adult obligation things, and ran errands.

The I retired and completely vegged out 7 months and went back to work part-time. I worked from home for five years and other than cooking 3 times a week and keeping up with my part of the chores, I spent my time doing my hobbies, hanging out with my family and pets. I currently work part-time again and still do what I want when I want. I am productive some days and some days I am not. Both of my parents died pretty young, so I know that working myself hard every day is not for me now that my kids have moved out. I don't think there is a guarantee that I'll have my time to do what I want later, so I choose to do it now. It also helps that I do not have aging parents or grandchildren that need me so my time is really my time.

But how do you spend your free time?

*Depends on how I am feeling or what I did that day. Some days it is just vegging out on the internet (though I am working hard to decrease that time). Other times it's outside a lot. Scrapbooking/crafting. Photography. Hanging out with the dogs. Hanging out with the family, kids, or dh. Researching stuff.

Do you engage in activities you think are a waste of time?

*I have no idea. If I am enjoying how I spend me time, what does it matter?

What does that term mean to you?

*Waste of time? Doing something that isn't productive when you should be because you are on work hours. Work hours = time you carved out for tasks or actual on the clock time.

Do you feel pulled to change how you spend your time? Are you content with it?

*Yes and no. Yes because I was getting irritated with how much I was spending on the internet. It wasn't bringing me joy and happiness. No because it is my time and I can do as I see fit. Yes I am content, especially now that I spend less time on the internet.

Were you raised in a particular environment that impacts how you spend your time?

*I was allowed to do what I wanted in my free time growing up. My parents did their thing.

Do your current life circumstances dictate how you spend your free time?

*Sometimes, yes. Being a mom to 2 medically complex, disabled teens, some days I need to zone out and relax my mind, get away, take a breather.


How much of it do you actually have outside of work, sleep, and family activities?

*Depends on the day.

I'm a 30-something millennial with no kids so I think my circumstances are a bit different than a lot of peas. However none of my free time is productive... that's why it's called free time imo. If I wanted it to be productive I'd call it chores.

I work from home but outside of that I have many days with zero productivity going on. Is it depression? Is it laziness? ¿Por qué no los dos? Around here we call that having a day lol. As long as I have dinner figured out before my boyfriend gets home from work I call it a win.

Judging someone else for what they choose to do that makes them happy is fruitless. I'm sure there's people who think me spending 6 hours watching Cold Case episodes on Saturday is dumb but hey! I love it 🙃

I’m totally hijacking this because the hammered dulcimer is a pretty rare instrument, and I think that another pea, stefdesign, plays it, too. If you guys don’t already know you share that interest, you should! 

I’m also stealing the clever formatting AussieMeg used.

Do you engage in activities you think are a waste of time?
I probably spend more time online than I need to, if I’m being honest. But I wouldn’t say it’s a “waste” of time, because my downtime is super important to me. I have other hobbies I’d like to spend more time on, but they aren’t as easy to fit in in small blocks as online surfing, so that becomes my default.

What does that term mean to you?
Something that doesn’t have a benefit on my life, whether tangible or intangible.

Do you feel pulled to change how you spend your time?
If I do, it’s generally because society has conditioned me to feel like I’m “less than” if I don’t do something. As I get older, I’m getting better at ignoring societal norms… like, I can realize that I’m not a bad mom because I don’t do my kids’ laundry, even though most of the people I know consider that an integral part of being a mom, and derive some satisfaction from taking care of that aspect of their kids’ needs.

Do your current life circumstances dictate how you spend your free time?
Yes. The number of hours/days per week I work fluctuate, depending on what season it is, and the staffing the restaurant has at any given time. Right now I’m only working 3 days a week, while a month ago I was working 5. Because I have more free time right now, I’ve been able to start a new quilt, for example.

How much of it do you actually have outside of work, sleep, and family activities?
Quite a bit. I’m working 20-25 hours right now. As my kids are getting older, they really contribute a lot to the running of the household, and my husband is also very involved.

Are you judgmental of the way others spend their time even in cases where it doesn't directly impact you?
Nope.

Honestly, I spent my time where practically every moment of every day was spent running. My twenties and thirties are basically a blur to me; I was sleep deprived, exhausted, and frantically trying to accomplish some weird level of perfect wife and expert mother, while still trying to always look attractive, successful, and creative, and that it was all effortless. Because that’s what I was supposed to do.

So now, it’s more about a balanced life. And sometimes that balance means I lie in bed until 2 in the afternoon, reading, and then paint my nails, and then take a nap, and eat popcorn for dinner, and never even get out of my yoga clothes. And sometimes that balance means I get up early to take my mom to the city and spend the whole day shopping for countertop slabs THREE DIFFERENT TIMES BECAUSE SHE CAN’T MAKE UP HER MIND. And sometimes that balance means I spend all day deep cleaning and organizing my pantry. And I’m good with that.