inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Jul 25, 2022 20:18:24 GMT
My heart goes out to you. I can't imagine what the last decade has been like for you and your daughter. The accident photos are horrific.
The Two Peas community is one of the kindest groups I've encountered in any space. I hope this place continues to be a source of comfort for you as you continue to heal.
Sending all the hugs to you and your daughter.
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Post by calgaryscrapper on Jul 25, 2022 20:19:11 GMT
{{{hugs}}}
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Post by bearmom on Jul 25, 2022 20:19:21 GMT
No wise words of wisdom, just thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
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Gennifer
Drama Llama
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Posts: 5,041
Jun 26, 2014 8:22:26 GMT
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Post by Gennifer on Jul 25, 2022 20:29:34 GMT
Wow…
I’m so sorry you have to acknowledge this anniversary. It was, and continues to be, a shitty, life-changing moment in time.
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Post by catck on Jul 25, 2022 20:34:08 GMT
Hugs to you and I hope you find some comfort knowing the Peas are there for you if you need us.
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Post by mellyw on Jul 25, 2022 20:54:53 GMT
Those photos are rough for me to see who wasn’t involved, I can’t imagine how you felt when seeing them. Big, gentle hugs to you
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casii
Drama Llama
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Posts: 5,477
Jun 29, 2014 14:40:44 GMT
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Post by casii on Jul 25, 2022 20:58:02 GMT
Hugs to you. These anniversaries can be brutal. I hope you feel surrounded by love and support.
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Jul 25, 2022 21:24:20 GMT
I just want to add some more love and support to this thread. (((Hugs))))
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Post by flanz on Jul 25, 2022 21:40:27 GMT
Sending you lots of love and hugs. I remember reading about your accident when it happened... I'm so very sorry. I wish I had a magic wand...
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mimima
Drama Llama
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Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Posts: 5,039
Jun 25, 2014 19:25:50 GMT
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Post by mimima on Jul 25, 2022 23:39:47 GMT
I cannot believe that it has been 10 years. May his Memory be Eternal and thank you for sharing yourjourney with us, you are strong and I am honored to "know" you. Hugs
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Post by bc2ca on Jul 26, 2022 0:23:26 GMT
I am so sorry. So sorry for everything you have lost, including the relationship with your DD. I do hope that she has someone you trust to give her financial guidance as the trust transitions.
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ddly
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,962
Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
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Post by ddly on Jul 26, 2022 0:25:23 GMT
I remember when this happened. Those pictures are horrifying, I’m so sorry.
Hugs to you. I’ll be thinking of you.
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rubrinker
New Member
Posts: 5
Dec 21, 2019 23:09:00 GMT
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Post by rubrinker on Jul 26, 2022 2:22:00 GMT
Hard to believe sometimes but it has been 28 years since my Dad was killed in an automobile accident. I saw his car and while I do not have pictures, it is still engraved in my mind. When someone we love dearly is suddenly gone, it is so hard to adjust to. I still miss him everyday after this long. Grief is profound. You get better at making it through each day but you always miss that person and to have horrific memories of it just intensifies the grief. So sorry you are going through this.
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janeinbama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,183
Location: Alabama
Jan 29, 2015 16:24:49 GMT
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Post by janeinbama on Jul 26, 2022 2:32:47 GMT
I too remember when the accident happened and have followed you since. I am so sad that you not only lost your DH, but the closeness you had with your children. I am sorry for all you have been through these last 10 years, however, you have not given up and kept moving forward to the best of your ability. ((Hugs))
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scrappinspidey2
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,511
Location: In the Parlor with the Fly
Mar 18, 2015 19:19:37 GMT
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Post by scrappinspidey2 on Jul 26, 2022 2:45:48 GMT
Good evening everyone, Thank you so much for all your kind words today. Last night I think was the breakdown I was anticipating. Today is much better and I anticipate tomorrow coming and going without too much fuss. I have plans for it to be a slow easy day. I am currently working over at work so that I have some padding for tomorrow in case I need to step out for a breath of ocean. Luckily my job is flexible that way for now. Possible a third showing of Maverick is in the cards as I dearly love that movie and it speaks to me in many ways. No spoilers for those who haven't seen it. Someone upthread mentioned monitoring and censoring my facebook to protect my MIL. I admit my back got up about that for a while. Im tired of always catering to everyone else in this process except me. Initially it was the kids then it is her and I do defer to her in this because the loss of a child is more substantial than the loss of a husband in my book and that poor woman lost both in one year. But sometimes I just want to have my part in it too. It isn't like she can't hide my posts for the month of July or ignore my posts all month, but I get it. I did not think of that option and didn't think it necessary but I will have to rethink my point of view on that moving forward. Initially when all this was new and fresh and all the legal stuff was going around, my son was not speaking to me. Mistakes were made on all sides. We have since done the work together and we have a great relationship now and I adore my DIL. We talk daily and we see each other a few times a year ( I live 6 hours a way) So that has been a great improvement. My daughter just has not handled any of this well despite all attempts to provider her with what is needed. I made mistakes I admit. I was a shell of a person who was and is expected to have been perfect and to have done everything right. not just by her but other family as well. I was held to a standard that I have come to learn was impossible to live up to, but yet there are consequences for this. My daughter has chosen her path and until she changes her mind and is willing to do the work to figure it out, I have to abide by her boundaries. When the trust is released it is hers to use or save at her own discretion. Her use of the money is not my worry. One of the reasons I have not gone down the suicidal path is that I know what happens if I die before she gets the money and I refuse to let that happen. I have talked on and off about my fears etc with others and at this time there is no cause for alarm. Maybe in 18 months there might be, I don't know. I think for the most part I don't have as many bad days like last night. Every now and then something will trigger my PTSD but the overwhelming sadness doesn't hit nearly as hard or often as it did back in the day. I will always have bad days, just the severity of them vary depending. Two dates for sure are the hardest and that is the date of the accident and our anniversary. They are approximately 8 weeks apart so its an interesting timeframe. I still struggle to figure out my place in this world without him. He was my best friend. We married super young and were parents before we married. We fought hard, loved hard and I feel we lived a good life for the most part. We had ups and downs like everyone else. We survived the loss of both our fathers - his was harder than mine but still. We had two kids, jobs that were insanely crazy and opposite each other but we still figured it out. Yeah we had silly fights and arguments but we never gave up. We always figured out a way to make things work and we had to be very independent of family early on as we moved away when our son was 3 so that he could get a job in another state. If anything I regret we didn't take more time off together but you don't realize these things at that age. Someone asked for a memory and it is so hard to pick one. He was a prankster at work so there were a lot of fun stories there. He would invite me to dinner with his squad if they weren't busy so I would be there late at night with bunch uniformed officers. He loved to hunt, camp, and fish, however I beat him at fishing once so was banned ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg) He could build just about anything. If I had an organizational issue or wanted to rearrange something, he could sit down and draw it out, then build whatever I needed. It is a superpower I will ever have. He was 100% supportive of my nursing school adventure. When the time came he transferred to a detective position so he could take over more stuff at home. He encouraged me to stick with it when some things went wrong. He had flaws, such as he loved mustangs and Im a dodge girl, but I think he would be super proud of my Challenger and I swear he is laughing somewhere every time I race someone on the road. He was super stubborn and when you did get him mad, look out. He was always one to be slow at getting angry but when he did....yikes. But that is where the making up came in ![:)](//storage.proboards.com/5645536/images/MNrJDkDuSwqIMVw33MdD.jpg) He is missed on so many levels. Its hard to believe its been 10 years. I don't dream of him often. I can count on one hand how many times that has happened. I don't really believe that he is "alive" somewhere watching over me. I joke about it but I don't really believe it. Anyway I have to get back to work in order for my plan for tomorrow to work out. I really do love you guys a whole bunch and I am grateful to have you in my world.
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 2,852
Jun 26, 2014 17:25:06 GMT
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Post by TXMary on Jul 26, 2022 3:51:55 GMT
I remember the accident very well. I think of you every time we pull our RV. Wow…10 years. I am so sorry for all the pain you’ve been through and now with your daughter. Sending you hugs.
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tanya2
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1604
Posts: 4,427
Jun 27, 2014 2:27:09 GMT
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Post by tanya2 on Jul 26, 2022 4:01:42 GMT
oh my goodness those pictures! I am so sorry for everything you've had to go through
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Post by scrappintoee on Jul 26, 2022 5:36:14 GMT
I am so, so sorry ! ![:'(](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/cry.png) I hope that posting here and getting cyber support helps you a bit! (( hugs ))
![](https://i.imgur.com/xYABR2A.jpg?1)
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Post by mcjunkin on Jul 26, 2022 12:41:03 GMT
Someone upthread mentioned monitoring and censoring my facebook to protect my MIL. I admit my back got up about that for a while. Im tired of always catering to everyone else in this process except me. Initially it was the kids then it is her and I do defer to her in this because the loss of a child is more substantial than the loss of a husband in my book and that poor woman lost both in one year. But sometimes I just want to have my part in it too. It isn't like she can't hide my posts for the month of July or ignore my posts all month, but I get it. I did not think of that option and didn't think it necessary but I will have to rethink my point of view on that moving forward. That was me. I am so sorry if that came across as a belief and a directive that it is your job to protect her! I did not mean it that way at all! I was thinking more along the the lines that if you knew she could not see and feel/respond to your post, it would give you (and others) more freedom to share thoughts and memories. Which you need. You deserve to be able to share and hear from those who knew you both. If her comments squash that, it may be best that she not be able to. For your benefit as much or more than hers. Yes, it is not fair to have to play the mental games, blocking, etc., but you need to be able to get support from others. The fact that you are so considerate to her feelings even after this many years and in such deep grief speaks volumes about your character. That you hold back even to the detriment of your own self speaks to how unselfish and giving a person you are. So sorry this is the hand you have been dealt.
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 26, 2022 12:56:14 GMT
You dont need a point to post your feelings and struggles here.
Gentle hugs, dear Pea friend.
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Post by scraplette on Jul 26, 2022 13:04:36 GMT
Wishing you well today, like so many others before it.
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Post by mom22grlz on Jul 26, 2022 13:09:45 GMT
I can’t believe it has been 10 years. I’ll never forget your story and the struggles it brought. I’m thinking of you and hoping you can find peace among the grief and anxiety. Hugs
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smcast
Drama Llama
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Posts: 5,369
Location: MN
Mar 18, 2016 14:06:38 GMT
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Post by smcast on Jul 26, 2022 13:22:01 GMT
I'm not good with putting words down but just know that we are here for you. Hugs and prayers. You have come a long way and keep putting one foot in front if the other.
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Post by holly on Jul 26, 2022 13:32:59 GMT
I remember you posting about the accident like it was yesterday, hard to believe it’s been 10 years. It resonated with me because we have a travel trailer also and that’s a scary accident to have happen. Also, our husbands have similar qualities, so it just kind of brought it a little close to home for me. I’m glad that you have stayed active on the board, hopefully it helps you along this tough journey through life. Many hugs to you.
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Post by Just Beth on Jul 26, 2022 17:34:00 GMT
I remember when this happened. Much love to you ❤️
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Post by papersilly on Jul 26, 2022 17:57:50 GMT
i remember when that happened to you. what a traumatic event. i'm glad you've found support and comfort since then.
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Post by floridagirl on Jul 26, 2022 17:59:46 GMT
sending hugs
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,798
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Jul 26, 2022 18:24:29 GMT
I am so sorry that you are struggling. Be easy on yourself. Grief comes in waves as you know.
The photos are shocking.
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Post by silverlining on Jul 26, 2022 21:35:39 GMT
I remember this tragic accident and later your move to an apartment near the beach in San Diego area. You've been through so much in the last 10 years, but I admire your resilience and your strength in making a big move to a new place on your own.
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Post by brynn on Jul 26, 2022 23:15:29 GMT
((Hug))
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