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Post by delila on Oct 12, 2022 23:34:06 GMT
Been here since the beginning and have not seen a locked thread but of course that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been done.
I was going to help her and ask her the name of the dealership because it likely is one my family owns or I very possibly know the owner and could of helped her.
Either way I hope she gets her car going and stays away from social media blasting a dealership for a vehicle that is over 5 years old. No dealership owes anyone anything on a vehicle that is 5+ years old but most of us do care about retention. We prefer that our customers come back to us for maintenance and to purchase more vehicles. A good dealership will take care of a customer but won’t put up with bullshit and people blasting them on social media.
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pantsonfire
Pearl Clutcher
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 4,820
Jun 19, 2022 16:48:04 GMT
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Post by pantsonfire on Oct 12, 2022 23:39:09 GMT
I was wondering why that thread was locked. I have never seen one locked here before - other than the ones of info that admin locked initially for no chatter.
I have really tried to give Berg grace through her entire situation - with her vision, Gary, and being alone. But it seems that more and more her posts are incoherent, factless, accusatory, or I feel helpless.
We all come from different lives. We all experienced different things.
It seems like she was coddled and never given a chance to spread her wings or be taught or learn how to do things on her own.
We as peas can only help her so much but lately even a simple question turns her into rage.
I feel bad she has had to experience so much in her life. But she needs to adult. She needs to stop making everything a big production and figure it out.
She needs to believe in herself and know she is capable of doing things without Gary and make smart decisions. And not rant and complain and get mad when people don't agree or try and help but it isn't enough help to her.
I hope she learns to stand on her 2 own feet and gain self confidence
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Post by wordfish on Oct 12, 2022 23:55:15 GMT
I pop in and out, probably have seen less than 1% of this woman's total posts on this board. My question is: What is with the constant interviews? There seems to be a lot of talk about interviews. But also occasionally having a job.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Oct 12, 2022 23:58:01 GMT
Long story short, my 2007 car is sitting outside with a dead battery, yes really dead. So I wait for help, when it is convenient for a friend to come. Ah well, such is life
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,488
Member is Online
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Oct 13, 2022 0:04:21 GMT
I pop in and out, probably have seen less than 1% of this woman's total posts on this board. My question is: What is with the constant interviews? There seems to be a lot of talk about interviews. But also occasionally having a job. She is a nanny and jobs are hard to find for her. She’s worked for some crazies too so lots of interviews and making sure the family is the right one for her.
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Post by wordfish on Oct 13, 2022 0:04:56 GMT
Long story short, my 2007 car is sitting outside with a dead battery, yes really dead. So I wait for help, when it is convenient for a friend to come. Ah well, such is life Well, you are my friend here and elsewhere, and I would come help you if I were closer. And if I knew what to do. I mostly only know what to do theoretically.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Oct 13, 2022 0:09:27 GMT
I'm puzzled by the locking of the thread. I don't know that I've ever seen that done to shut a controversial thread down. And I'm not sure that was a controversial thread -- it was just apparently stressful to its OP.
All very weird.
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Post by wordfish on Oct 13, 2022 0:09:33 GMT
I pop in and out, probably have seen less than 1% of this woman's total posts on this board. My question is: What is with the constant interviews? There seems to be a lot of talk about interviews. But also occasionally having a job. She is a nanny and jobs are hard to find for her. She’s worked for some crazies too so lots of interviews and making sure the family is the right one for her. Ah ok. So she gets nanny jobs, loses them, and then has to interview for more. And her employer pool is limited to people who will agree not to report her income to the government because she does not want to have to give up the disability checks the government sends her. But despite all this, the loss of these positions that she seems to have churned through (or perhaps that is just my perception? It's not been a full year since her husband died, so it can't be that many) is always the fault of the employer. I'm also baffled by why she publicly talks about this knowing that people on the board seem to be aware of her full name. Is that not a risky proposition? For what gain? That seems illogical to me.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Oct 13, 2022 0:16:06 GMT
Long story short, my 2007 car is sitting outside with a dead battery, yes really dead. So I wait for help, when it is convenient for a friend to come. Ah well, such is life Well, you are my friend here and elsewhere, and I would come help you if I were closer. And if I knew what to do. I mostly only know what to do theoretically. Please no problem .. I have no where to go.. I know for sure it needs a new battery. I save money by having groceries delivered. But I am old and decrepit, all is good!!
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Oct 13, 2022 0:29:43 GMT
I think Bergdorf is grieving and generally overwhelmed. I think she is the sole emotional amd economic support for an adult daughter who appears not to be able to work but is also not disabled enough to receive assistance.
The posts in the initial thread didn't seem like a pile-on, but the the posts in this thread do.
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Post by wordfish on Oct 13, 2022 0:32:25 GMT
She posted asking how to delete her account so it seems she has reached the end of her personal road here anyway, or at least is contemplating it.
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Post by peanutterbutter on Oct 13, 2022 1:43:43 GMT
I may or may not always agree with that board member and her posts, but just to throw this out there she has had extensive trauma in her life, and trauma has a very real impact on how people think and perceive things.
It's very easy for all of us to sit and say something about the actions of another person(and we often do on this board lol!),but we are not living their life and they are not living mine. It's very black and white from the outside not so much from the inside.
Also, the "safety nets" that social welfare programs provide are not great safety nets and really do not promote people being able to feel secure financially on a day-to-day basis. It takes very little "extra" money to tip someone over from having insurance and food and a roof to not having those things because the safety nets are abruptly removed.
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,934
Member is Online
Jun 27, 2014 19:06:19 GMT
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Post by samantha25 on Oct 13, 2022 3:14:13 GMT
I have a hard time following the conversation with all of the explanation points and distracts from the message.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Oct 13, 2022 3:31:41 GMT
None of us knows, during any thread pile on, if there are extenuating circumstances for the person on the receiving end. I think the question we are all asking is, “Why now?” We’ve had eight years of some brutal threads and peas deciding to leave. What is making that particularly mild thread the exception? No threads were locked to keep other peas from leaving. I think admin has been pretty clear that we are unmoderated. I’d like to know if that is changing.
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Post by twinks on Oct 13, 2022 4:21:19 GMT
I, personally, have taken offense to some of her posts about how she is the only person alone and/or is poor. The post where she jumped all over people and claimed we all had support and money threw me over the edge. I realize that those are my feelings and my problems to deal with.
I tried to point out that there are many on this board who are alone and managing on their own. There are many of us who are alone and are struggling to keep food on the table and a roof over our head. I took the bus to work for many years because I couldn’t afford to replace or fix my 14 year old car. I know there are some here who have disabled adult children. Myself included. Personally I am disabled and live with pain everyday because of the actions of another person. I have experienced trauma. So her situation isn’t necessarily unique. I think it all comes down to one’s decisions. I am not saying that she should do things like I have or am doing, but the victim mentality doesn’t work for me.
The locked thread is interesting. Same MO. I am bothered that the thread got locked.
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Post by Skellinton on Oct 13, 2022 4:29:38 GMT
None of us knows, during any thread pile on, if there are extenuating circumstances for the person on the receiving end. I think the question we are all asking is, “Why now?” We’ve had eight years of some brutal threads and peas deciding to leave. What is making that particularly mild thread the exception? No threads were locked to keep other peas from leaving. I think admin has been pretty clear that we are unmoderated. I’d like to know if that is changing. This is exactly the way I feel. There have been plenty of threads that were absolutely unjustified pile ones and peas left. This was not a pile on, so why was it locked when others were not. I honestly think that the curiosity about that is justified. I also realize the admin doesn't owe us any explanation and we aren't likely to get one. To me that is perfectly fine, but I do think it is natural for people to wonder and want to discuss this unprecedented event. We are peas after all.
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Post by compeateropeator on Oct 13, 2022 5:37:00 GMT
None of us knows, during any thread pile on, if there are extenuating circumstances for the person on the receiving end. I think the question we are all asking is, “Why now?” We’ve had eight years of some brutal threads and peas deciding to leave. What is making that particularly mild thread the exception? No threads were locked to keep other peas from leaving. I think admin has been pretty clear that we are unmoderated. I’d like to know if that is changing. This is exactly the way I feel. There have been plenty of threads that were absolutely unjustified pile ones and peas left. This was not a pile on, so why was it locked when others were not. I honestly think that the curiosity about that is justified. I also realize the admin doesn't owe us any explanation and we aren't likely to get one. To me that is perfectly fine, but I do think it is natural for people to wonder and want to discuss this unprecedented event. We are peas after all. I do not think that the locked thread was really harsh on the op. I am wondering if previous threads that had much harsher comments were not locked because those that started them did not ask for them to be but instead just left? It really does not matter to me one way or the other…but I will say that I prefer/appreciate the hands off/less moderation from the admin for the most part. Unless safety or extenuating circumstances (names/personal information given) I think people can leave if they are no longer enjoying their time here.
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Post by mollycoddle on Oct 13, 2022 5:39:28 GMT
I think Bergdorf is grieving and generally overwhelmed. I think she is the sole emotional amd economic support for an adult daughter who appears not to be able to work but is also not disabled enough to receive assistance. The posts in the initial thread didn't seem like a pile-on, but the the posts in this thread do. Amen. The word catty comes to mind. Some of you would be very upset if you were openly discussed in this manner.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Oct 13, 2022 7:15:35 GMT
I, personally, have taken offense to some of her posts about how she is the only person alone and/or is poor. The post where she jumped all over people and claimed we all had support and money threw me over the edge. I realize that those are my feelings and my problems to deal with. I tried to point out that there are many on this board who are alone and managing on their own. There are many of us who are alone and are struggling to keep food on the table and a roof over our head. I took the bus to work for many years because I couldn’t afford to replace or fix my 14 year old car. I know there are some here who have disabled adult children. Myself included. Personally I am disabled and live with pain everyday because of the actions of another person. I have experienced trauma. So her situation isn’t necessarily unique. I think it all comes down to one’s decisions. I am not saying that she should do things like I have or am doing, but the victim mentality doesn’t work for me. The locked thread is interesting. Same MO. I am bothered that the thread got locked. I'm sorry for your struggles. Suffering isn't a contest, though. When my mom died, I was a mess. Grief rocked me to my core. I can only imagine the grief our friend feels for her husband. And, while I don't mean to speak for @bergdorfblonde, I think she's frightened, lonely and suffering. I've never known her to be cruel. I was shown a great deal of grace and care in the days and months after my mom died. I am extending that grace to our grieving friend. YMMV.
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Post by gar on Oct 13, 2022 7:42:46 GMT
None of us knows, during any thread pile on, if there are extenuating circumstances for the person on the receiving end. I think the question we are all asking is, “Why now?” We’ve had eight years of some brutal threads and peas deciding to leave. What is making that particularly mild thread the exception? No threads were locked to keep other peas from leaving. I think admin has been pretty clear that we are unmoderated. I’d like to know if that is changing. This is where I am too.
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Post by mollycoddle on Oct 13, 2022 10:38:43 GMT
I, personally, have taken offense to some of her posts about how she is the only person alone and/or is poor. The post where she jumped all over people and claimed we all had support and money threw me over the edge. I realize that those are my feelings and my problems to deal with. I tried to point out that there are many on this board who are alone and managing on their own. There are many of us who are alone and are struggling to keep food on the table and a roof over our head. I took the bus to work for many years because I couldn’t afford to replace or fix my 14 year old car. I know there are some here who have disabled adult children. Myself included. Personally I am disabled and live with pain everyday because of the actions of another person. I have experienced trauma. So her situation isn’t necessarily unique. I think it all comes down to one’s decisions. I am not saying that she should do things like I have or am doing, but the victim mentality doesn’t work for me. The locked thread is interesting. Same MO. I am bothered that the thread got locked. I'm sorry for your struggles. Suffering isn't a contest, though. When my mom died, I was a mess. Grief rocked me to my core. I can only imagine the grief our friend feels for her husband. And, while I don't mean to speak for @bergdorfblonde, I think she's frightened, lonely and suffering. I've never known her to be cruel. I was shown a great deal of grace and care in the days and months after my mom died. I am extending that grace to our grieving friend. YMMV. I should just follow you on this thread and “like” all of your posts. Very well said.
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Post by Really Red on Oct 13, 2022 11:33:08 GMT
I, personally, have taken offense to some of her posts about how she is the only person alone and/or is poor. The post where she jumped all over people and claimed we all had support and money threw me over the edge. I realize that those are my feelings and my problems to deal with. I tried to point out that there are many on this board who are alone and managing on their own. There are many of us who are alone and are struggling to keep food on the table and a roof over our head. I took the bus to work for many years because I couldn’t afford to replace or fix my 14 year old car. I know there are some here who have disabled adult children. Myself included. Personally I am disabled and live with pain everyday because of the actions of another person. I have experienced trauma. So her situation isn’t necessarily unique. I think it all comes down to one’s decisions. I am not saying that she should do things like I have or am doing, but the victim mentality doesn’t work for me. The locked thread is interesting. Same MO. I am bothered that the thread got locked. I'm sorry for your struggles. Suffering isn't a contest, though. When my mom died, I was a mess. Grief rocked me to my core. I can only imagine the grief our friend feels for her husband. And, while I don't mean to speak for @bergdorfblonde , I think she's frightened, lonely and suffering. I've never known her to be cruel. I was shown a great deal of grace and care in the days and months after my mom died. I am extending that grace to our grieving friend. YMMV. This is perfect inkedup. It does not hurt to show grace. It does not hurt to ignore someone if all you have to say is something mean. There are plenty ways to disagree kindly. We never know everything that is going on in someone's life and if you're so fortunate that you can't understand why something seemingly unimportant may be the last straw to someone, then you should feel grateful you do not.
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Post by pelirroja on Oct 13, 2022 12:33:47 GMT
Asking for a thread to be locked wouldn't be a choice I would make since soon enough threads falloff to the next page and everybody moves on to the next topic. But if BB feels the need to delete her account, perhaps stepping away from this forum for a bit would be a good thing to do.
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Post by twinks on Oct 13, 2022 13:00:17 GMT
I know that suffering isn’t a contest. We aren’t suffering. We are grateful for what we have because we have what we need. My point is that the situation isn’t all that unique.
I realize that she is suffering and grieving. I know that everyone handles grief differently. I try to offer grace. It is hard when someone is taking their anger out on you.
Inked up, thank you for your perspective. I probably need to walk away. This is, once again, upsetting to me.
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Post by gar on Oct 13, 2022 13:04:35 GMT
I know that suffering isn’t a contest. My point is that the situation isn’t all that unique. I realize that she is suffering and grieving. I know that everyone handles grief differently. I try to offer grace. It is hard when someone is taking their anger out on you. Inked up, thank you for your perspective. I probably need to walk away. This is, once again, upsetting to me. I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time and I can see how all this would be difficult for you to read.
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pinklady
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,577
Nov 14, 2016 23:47:03 GMT
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Post by pinklady on Oct 13, 2022 13:44:45 GMT
Asking for a thread to be locked wouldn't be a choice I would make since soon enough threads falloff to the next page and everybody moves on to the next topic. But if BB feels the need to delete her account, perhaps stepping away from this forum for a bit would be a good thing to do. There are a couple peas who’ve been following her all over the board for a while, responding to her posts, that go out of their way to be assholes to her. It’s not that simple for a thread to fall off the front page when one, peas CANNOT ignore anything and two, hypocrites follow a pea all over the board for entertainment.
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edie3
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,498
Jun 26, 2014 1:03:18 GMT
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Post by edie3 on Oct 13, 2022 13:49:43 GMT
We do not know what other people are going through. Sometimes grace, kindness and a little understanding can go a long way.
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pantsonfire
Pearl Clutcher
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 4,820
Jun 19, 2022 16:48:04 GMT
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Post by pantsonfire on Oct 13, 2022 14:13:50 GMT
Of any Florida peas are reading this thread, are there any groups for grieving widows that are free? Or any counseling services that contract with those who have disability insurance through state/government?
I'm trying to think of any resources we can pass on to BB.
I am fully aware of what is available here in my state but have no idea about Florida.
Does the county or state have like a 411 you can text to get help finding xyz?
I thinking speaking with someone who understands these situations can be good for her to empower her and give her resources for help and assistance.
I hope FL has programs like that.
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Post by FuzzyMutt on Oct 13, 2022 14:34:44 GMT
pantsonfire Florida has a helpline (dial 211) for access to free, confidential services that connect you with local community-based organizations across the state that can help. It's very very well known, and well run. My Aunt had a very very very serious vision problem rapidly evolving while uninsured with no resources. She was able to connect with some organizations that put her in touch with fantastic care providers that quite literally gave her back her vision.
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pantsonfire
Pearl Clutcher
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 4,820
Jun 19, 2022 16:48:04 GMT
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Post by pantsonfire on Oct 13, 2022 14:42:21 GMT
pantsonfire Florida has a helpline (dial 211) for access to free, confidential services that connect you with local community-based organizations across the state that can help. It's very very well known, and well run. My Aunt had a very very very serious vision problem rapidly evolving while uninsured with no resources. She was able to connect with some organizations that put her in touch with fantastic care providers that quite literally gave her back her vision. Good to hear! I hope BB sees this and reaches out. I am sure peas here could help guide her with what to ask or say when she calls.
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