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Post by allison1954 on Oct 13, 2022 14:50:58 GMT
Of any Florida peas are reading this thread, are there any groups for grieving widows that are free? Or any counseling services that contract with those who have disability insurance through state/government? I'm trying to think of any resources we can pass on to BB. I am fully aware of what is available here in my state but have no idea about Florida. Does the county or state have like a 411 you can text to get help finding xyz? I thinking speaking with someone who understands these situations can be good for her to empower her and give her resources for help and assistance. I hope FL has programs like that. She has been given this info, at least by me, on more than one occasion. She always has reasons why they aren't good enough.
I sent her multiples sources, also Food Banks were suggested by me but she claimed they were ALL too dirty and gave her DH illnesses. Believe me, that can not be the case. They are Health Dept regulated. And ALL of them?
There are state and county, also probably city ,resources. Also churches have grief groups typically.You can look up in Meetup or FB, all kinds of choices. I'd bet the VA and veterans groups also. have groups or specific referrals. Hospitals also have groups.
I gave info MORE THAN once and she rebuffed them all. Same as she does with other people's suggestions.
I truly think she wants to be saved, not work on checking out these resources.
Before anyone says I don't get it, I do.
My DH drowned in Mexico and I was taken into police custody in a jail cell until they found the body next day and did all the forensic work to determine it was not foul play. No family with passports to help.Then I had to arrange getting a body out of Mexico and home. I understand distress and intense grieving.
But pulling the poor widow card was just one step too many. Many women on here are widows and don't expect the world to treat them as special flowers.Many have debilitating illness and no one to help. Everyone has a story
Being a widow is one thing, expecting others to treat you special or extra because of it , esp a business, is another.
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Post by mom on Oct 13, 2022 15:19:35 GMT
I've been thinking about the post from yesterday as well as this post. Some have suggested that kindness and grace should be extended. And yes, to some extent I agree. But specifically thinking of yesterdays post (the locked one), kindness and grace were extended initially. Without going to reread the thread, I know that I personally called my DH at work to ask him about her car problems because I recognized her cars 'symptoms' from a car that DH had worked on before. And yes, I also told her that perhaps her idea of blasting them on social media wasn't a good idea -- mainly because she needed them more than they needed her. The reality is, there will always be another customer at the Nissan dealership but the OP is on a (very well known) budget, and it was in her best financial interest to be nice.
Sure, there are the usual people who make rude remarks to the OP, but like everyone else here is told, she can block them and CHOOSE not to engage. But she didn't. She came to 2Peas and posted her plans to either get free towing and free repairs on a 5ish (I think) old car or smear their FB with negative press. Anyone who have been at 2Peas for more than one day knows that we aren't going to encourage or look the other way when someone is misbehaving. I can only speak for myself, but I only. chimed in because I knew that making the business angry wasn't going to help her get cheap and affordable repairs. My DH is a mechanic and rebuilds cars on his off time and you better believe he will squeeze every dime out of a customer who is a pain in his ass.
I completely understand being single and frustrated that your car isn't working and there is no money for repairs. But I would not be a good friend if I didn't tell her that her expectations were out of line.I think most Peas want the OP to be be successful. We share in her joys, cry with her and most of us have sent money and cards to her to help her through the dark times. But at some point, if we continue to look the other way, then we are enabling her.
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Post by compeateropeator on Oct 13, 2022 15:28:21 GMT
allison1954 I am so sorry for all that you have endured and the loss of your husband. I think that it is very honorable that you have tried to help with information and recommendations, I am sure someone has benefited from that information.
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Post by twinks on Oct 13, 2022 15:43:45 GMT
I know I said that I was walking away. However mom and allison have expressed exactly what I have been thinking and feeling. I know that I personally have offered resources and help. I personally suggested HEAT, getting her DD re-evaluated, food banks, ways to obtain affordable housing, etc. but I was given many reasons why they wouldn’t work.
Accepting help and also declining help is hard to do gracefully. Help comes in various ways and isn’t always what one would want or prefer.
Grief isn’t easy. Adulting isn’t easy.
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305
Aug 13, 2016 13:47:39 GMT
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Post by kibblesandbits on Oct 13, 2022 18:16:28 GMT
Asking for a thread to be locked wouldn't be a choice I would make since soon enough threads falloff to the next page and everybody moves on to the next topic. But if BB feels the need to delete her account, perhaps stepping away from this forum for a bit would be a good thing to do. There are a couple peas who’ve been following her all over the board for a while, responding to her posts, that go out of their way to be assholes to her. It’s not that simple for a thread to fall off the front page when one, peas CANNOT ignore anything and two, hypocrites follow a pea all over the board for entertainment. You don't get to complain about this - you do an awful lot of your own following around and hassling. Just because you have a boner for this particular poster. . . so STFU For some of us, we didn't start out hassling, as stated in SEVERAL other posts, we started out helping. Years of helping. Now, we're just . . . done. Done with the lies and exaggerations. Done with the woe is me, my life is the worst, no one understands, my situation is the most unique, I have the most difficult life . . . on and on and on. And there isn't one suggestion that is taken seriously or to heart. It's batted away as either not good enough or already tried and it was "TERRIBLE, terrible, I tell you." Now it's "poor lonely widow, just trying to make her way in the world". The only thing good enough is if Peas send her money. Or cat food. That thread was not mean, nor rude, or assholeish in any way. What it WAS was frank and direct. There is nothing wrong with frank and direct. You'd think we could expect a level of emotional maturity here, but as time goes on I am starting to think that it will be impossible, from Bergdorf, or really the majority of posters. There's a lot of us just trying to get by. Several widows, many cancer patients, at least two of us have spouses with degenerative diseases and we are watching them die before our eyes. My home in FL was recently destroyed during Hurricane Ian. There is no end to the challenges here, and to have her dismiss our challenges as not nearly as critical as hers is offensive, to say the least.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Oct 13, 2022 19:21:11 GMT
There are a couple peas who’ve been following her all over the board for a while, responding to her posts, that go out of their way to be assholes to her. It’s not that simple for a thread to fall off the front page when one, peas CANNOT ignore anything and two, hypocrites follow a pea all over the board for entertainment. You don't get to complain about this - you do an awful lot of your own following around and hassling. Just because you have a boner for this particular poster. . . so STFU For some of us, we didn't start out hassling, as stated in SEVERAL other posts, we started out helping. Years of helping. Now, we're just . . . done. Done with the lies and exaggerations. Done with the woe is me, my life is the worst, no one understands, my situation is the most unique, I have the most difficult life . . . on and on and on. And there isn't one suggestion that is taken seriously or to heart. It's batted away as either not good enough or already tried and it was "TERRIBLE, terrible, I tell you." Now it's "poor lonely widow, just trying to make her way in the world". The only thing good enough is if Peas send her money. Or cat food. That thread was not mean, nor rude, or assholeish in any way. What it WAS was frank and direct. There is nothing wrong with frank and direct. You'd think we could expect a level of emotional maturity here, but as time goes on I am starting to think that it will be impossible, from Bergdorf, or really the majority of posters. There's a lot of us just trying to get by. Several widows, many cancer patients, at least two of us have spouses with degenerative diseases and we are watching them die before our eyes. My home in FL was recently destroyed during Hurricane Ian. There is no end to the challenges here, and to have her dismiss our challenges as not nearly as critical as hers is offensive, to say the least. My heart goes out to everyone struggling. I could add a few things to the list of ways I am suffering, as well. But how does Bergdorf's situation make your own situation worse? How does it harm you? If you continually offer advice that isn't taken, stop offering it. Ignore her since you clearly don't like or believe her. This just all seems really ugly and petty. There isn't a finite amount of compassion in the world. Attacking a recently widowed woman - yes, that matters to me - because you have your own shit to complain about and you're tired of hers - is unkind and unnecessary.
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Post by wordfish on Oct 13, 2022 21:19:18 GMT
OK, so either a lot of you were not around for the 2Peas crap that happened with this person years ago, or you've forgotten. I don't remember a lot of it, but I remember enough.
This person is not what and who some of you think she is. Does that matter? Maybe not. Probably not. But there is a long history here.
If this person is truly receiving disability benefits, and I've no reason to think she is not, she really should consider deleting some of her posts. A lot of people here who know she is deliberately skirting the SS disability rules and are displeased with her also know her real name. That's just not smart thinking to expose that. I don't personally give a damn, but it is fraud, and it's obvious there are more than a few people here who are quite annoyed with all of the tall tales, exaggerations, and outlandish scenarios.
Again, I don't care about the disability thing. But it's a mistake to think everyone who reads this stuff feels the same way.
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Post by Scrapper100 on Oct 13, 2022 21:19:49 GMT
You don't get to complain about this - you do an awful lot of your own following around and hassling. Just because you have a boner for this particular poster. . . so STFU For some of us, we didn't start out hassling, as stated in SEVERAL other posts, we started out helping. Years of helping. Now, we're just . . . done. Done with the lies and exaggerations. Done with the woe is me, my life is the worst, no one understands, my situation is the most unique, I have the most difficult life . . . on and on and on. And there isn't one suggestion that is taken seriously or to heart. It's batted away as either not good enough or already tried and it was "TERRIBLE, terrible, I tell you." Now it's "poor lonely widow, just trying to make her way in the world". The only thing good enough is if Peas send her money. Or cat food. That thread was not mean, nor rude, or assholeish in any way. What it WAS was frank and direct. There is nothing wrong with frank and direct. You'd think we could expect a level of emotional maturity here, but as time goes on I am starting to think that it will be impossible, from Bergdorf, or really the majority of posters. There's a lot of us just trying to get by. Several widows, many cancer patients, at least two of us have spouses with degenerative diseases and we are watching them die before our eyes. My home in FL was recently destroyed during Hurricane Ian. There is no end to the challenges here, and to have her dismiss our challenges as not nearly as critical as hers is offensive, to say the least. My heart goes out to everyone struggling. I could add a few things to the list of ways I am suffering, as well. But how does Bergdorf's situation make your own situation worse? How does it harm you? If you continually offer advice that isn't taken, stop offering it. Ignore her since you clearly don't like or believe her. This just all seems really ugly and petty. There isn't a finite amount of compassion in the world. Attacking a widow - yes, that matters to me - because you have your own shit to complain about and you're tired of hers - is unkind and unnecessary. Everyone handles grief and trauma differently. I’m sorry for all those that have lost a spouse and or have health issues. I guess I would rather give someone the benefit of doubt. Asking for help is hard and sometimes you have to be in the right place to accept and do certain things. We all have different experiences and history that effects how we deal with things. This thread just seems like such a pile on when someone is down it surprised me. I hope all can move on no matter what your feelings are. I hope BB stays here and vents when she needs to we all need to do that sometimes. This place can be such a great place to come for help and support.
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Post by Clair on Oct 13, 2022 21:29:11 GMT
You don't get to complain about this - you do an awful lot of your own following around and hassling. Just because you have a boner for this particular poster. . . so STFU For some of us, we didn't start out hassling, as stated in SEVERAL other posts, we started out helping. Years of helping. Now, we're just . . . done. Done with the lies and exaggerations. Done with the woe is me, my life is the worst, no one understands, my situation is the most unique, I have the most difficult life . . . on and on and on. And there isn't one suggestion that is taken seriously or to heart. It's batted away as either not good enough or already tried and it was "TERRIBLE, terrible, I tell you." Now it's "poor lonely widow, just trying to make her way in the world". The only thing good enough is if Peas send her money. Or cat food. That thread was not mean, nor rude, or assholeish in any way. What it WAS was frank and direct. There is nothing wrong with frank and direct. You'd think we could expect a level of emotional maturity here, but as time goes on I am starting to think that it will be impossible, from Bergdorf, or really the majority of posters. There's a lot of us just trying to get by. Several widows, many cancer patients, at least two of us have spouses with degenerative diseases and we are watching them die before our eyes. My home in FL was recently destroyed during Hurricane Ian. There is no end to the challenges here, and to have her dismiss our challenges as not nearly as critical as hers is offensive, to say the least. My heart goes out to everyone struggling. I could add a few things to the list of ways I am suffering, as well. But how does Bergdorf's situation make your own situation worse? How does it harm you? If you continually offer advice that isn't taken, stop offering it. Ignore her since you clearly don't like or believe her. This just all seems really ugly and petty. There isn't a finite amount of compassion in the world. Attacking a widow - yes, that matters to me - because you have your own shit to complain about and you're tired of hers - is unkind and unnecessary. Did you read the thread? There may have been an off comment or two but no one was ‘attacking a widow’. Advice was offered. Bergdorf was angry and denied writing what she wrote when people quoted her. She said she was going to ‘plaster’ the car dealers social media and when it was suggest she not do that she denied saying it and attacked the other poster. I was told I was attacking a widow and cruel because I said he posts were reading as demanding and entitled and that maybe she reread them. There was a big disconnect between what she was posting and what she later said she posted. Unfortunately, she was her own worst enemy on that thread.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Oct 13, 2022 21:49:18 GMT
OK, so either a lot of you were not around for the 2Peas crap that happened with this person years ago, or you've forgotten. I don't remember a lot of it, but I remember enough. This person is not what and who some of you think she is. Does that matter? Maybe not. Probably not. But there is a long history here. If this person is truly receiving disability benefits, and I've no reason to think she is not, she really should consider deleting some of her posts. A lot of people here who know she is deliberately skirting the SS disability rules and are displeased with her also know her real name. That's just not smart thinking to expose that. I don't personally give a damn, but it is fraud, and it's obvious there are more than a few people here who are quite annoyed with all of the tall tales, exaggerations, and outlandish scenarios. Again, I don't care about the disability thing. But it's a mistake to think everyone who reads this stuff feels the same way. Well, then. Just double down on being an asshole because it apparently makes you feel better to do so. The oblique threats about contacting disability are fucking gross. "I'd never do it, but someone might." Bullshit. You're EXACTLY the kind of person who would do that. Why else even bring that up? You really aren't coming across any better than the person you're kicking.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Oct 13, 2022 21:51:21 GMT
My heart goes out to everyone struggling. I could add a few things to the list of ways I am suffering, as well. But how does Bergdorf's situation make your own situation worse? How does it harm you? If you continually offer advice that isn't taken, stop offering it. Ignore her since you clearly don't like or believe her. This just all seems really ugly and petty. There isn't a finite amount of compassion in the world. Attacking a widow - yes, that matters to me - because you have your own shit to complain about and you're tired of hers - is unkind and unnecessary. Did you read the thread? There may have been an off comment or two but no one was ‘attacking a widow’. Advice was offered. Bergdorf was angry and denied writing what she wrote when peopled quoted her. She said she was going to ‘plaster’ the car dealers social media and when it was suggest she not do that she denied saying it and attacked the other poster. I was told I was attacking a widow and cruel because I said he posts were reading as demanding and entitled and that maybe she reread them. There was a big disconnect between what she was posting and what she later said she posted. Unfortunately, she was her own worst enemy on that thread. What makes you think I didn't read the thread? I didn't call you out specifically, so no need to tell me you weren't attacking a widow if the shoe doesn't fit. It's great you're able to find justification for your comments toward Bergdorf. But I don't need you to try to convince me she's a terrible person, thanks. Not sure why you all have such a hard on for her, but I hope you're getting something out of this.
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Post by wordfish on Oct 13, 2022 21:53:36 GMT
OK, so either a lot of you were not around for the 2Peas crap that happened with this person years ago, or you've forgotten. I don't remember a lot of it, but I remember enough. This person is not what and who some of you think she is. Does that matter? Maybe not. Probably not. But there is a long history here. If this person is truly receiving disability benefits, and I've no reason to think she is not, she really should consider deleting some of her posts. A lot of people here who know she is deliberately skirting the SS disability rules and are displeased with her also know her real name. That's just not smart thinking to expose that. I don't personally give a damn, but it is fraud, and it's obvious there are more than a few people here who are quite annoyed with all of the tall tales, exaggerations, and outlandish scenarios. Again, I don't care about the disability thing. But it's a mistake to think everyone who reads this stuff feels the same way. Well, then. Just double down on being an asshole because it apparently makes you feel better to do so. The oblique threats about contacting disability are fucking gross. You really aren't coming across any better than the person you're kicking. I am not remotely threatening anything of the sort. If I wanted to do it, I would just do it. I do not. What I don't understand because I find it so illogical is why she would expose herself in this way. It's such a risk. Did you think you were going to intimidate me by calling me an asshole? Is that your goal? Okay, I accept it: I am an asshole. One big gigantic asshole. You could drive a truck right up into it, so big an asshole am I. What I am not? Intimidated. Another thing I am not? Wrong.
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Post by wordfish on Oct 13, 2022 21:57:11 GMT
Did you read the thread? There may have been an off comment or two but no one was ‘attacking a widow’. Advice was offered. Bergdorf was angry and denied writing what she wrote when peopled quoted her. She said she was going to ‘plaster’ the car dealers social media and when it was suggest she not do that she denied saying it and attacked the other poster. I was told I was attacking a widow and cruel because I said he posts were reading as demanding and entitled and that maybe she reread them. There was a big disconnect between what she was posting and what she later said she posted. Unfortunately, she was her own worst enemy on that thread. Why makes you think I didn't read the thread? I didn't call you out specifically, so no need to tell me you weren't attacking a widow if the shoe doesn't fit. It's great you're able to find justification for your comments toward Bergdorf. But I don't need you to try to convince me she's a terrible person, thanks. Not sure why you all have such a hard on for her, but I hope you're getting something out of this. You know what's so funny about your comment? I was thinking along similar lines: I hope she's getting something out of this. I had forgotten about all the stuff that happened with this person so long ago. But then I remembered.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Oct 13, 2022 22:04:07 GMT
Well, then. Just double down on being an asshole because it apparently makes you feel better to do so. The oblique threats about contacting disability are fucking gross. You really aren't coming across any better than the person you're kicking. I am not remotely threatening anything of the sort. If I wanted to do it, I would just do it. I do not. What I don't understand because I find it so illogical is why she would expose herself in this way. It's such a risk. Did you think you were going to intimidate me by calling me an asshole? Is that your goal? Okay, I accept it: I am an asshole. One big gigantic asshole. You could drive a truck right up into it, so big an asshole am I. What I am not? Intimidated. Another thing I am not? Wrong. FINALLY. Something we can agree on. I'm no more trying to intimidate you, than you are trying to intimidate Bergdorf. Just pointing out that you're being a jerk to a vulnerable person and it's apparently a hill you're willing to die on.
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Post by ~summer~ on Oct 13, 2022 22:05:57 GMT
I tried reading her OP about her car but I find it incredibly difficult to read with all the overuse of exclamation points, all caps and dramatic tone. I didn’t understand why she didn’t drive the car straight to the dealer once she had it started.
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Post by merry27 on Oct 13, 2022 22:08:26 GMT
OK, so either a lot of you were not around for the 2Peas crap that happened with this person years ago, or you've forgotten. I don't remember a lot of it, but I remember enough. This person is not what and who some of you think she is. Does that matter? Maybe not. Probably not. But there is a long history here. If this person is truly receiving disability benefits, and I've no reason to think she is not, she really should consider deleting some of her posts. A lot of people here who know she is deliberately skirting the SS disability rules and are displeased with her also know her real name. That's just not smart thinking to expose that. I don't personally give a damn, but it is fraud, and it's obvious there are more than a few people here who are quite annoyed with all of the tall tales, exaggerations, and outlandish scenarios. Again, I don't care about the disability thing. But it's a mistake to think everyone who reads this stuff feels the same way. I have been a member here since September 2003 and check in at least once a day. I don't remember anything happening with BB?
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Oct 13, 2022 22:09:15 GMT
Why makes you think I didn't read the thread? I didn't call you out specifically, so no need to tell me you weren't attacking a widow if the shoe doesn't fit. It's great you're able to find justification for your comments toward Bergdorf. But I don't need you to try to convince me she's a terrible person, thanks. Not sure why you all have such a hard on for her, but I hope you're getting something out of this. You know what's so funny about your comment? I was thinking along similar lines: I hope she's getting something out of this. I had forgotten about all the stuff that happened with this person so long ago. But then I remembered. I'm not personally getting anything out of this. Bergdorf and I don't have a back door deal where I support her here and she shares her millions in illicit disability payments with me. I just think she's a person who is in a great deal of physical and emotional pain, amd I don't know why anyone would find it necessary to continue to be hurtful. Clearly, though, your mileage varies. You're quite comfortable kicking someone while they're down. I'm sorry for your struggles and even sorrier they've made you unkind instead of compassionate.
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Post by wordfish on Oct 13, 2022 22:10:11 GMT
OK, so either a lot of you were not around for the 2Peas crap that happened with this person years ago, or you've forgotten. I don't remember a lot of it, but I remember enough. This person is not what and who some of you think she is. Does that matter? Maybe not. Probably not. But there is a long history here. If this person is truly receiving disability benefits, and I've no reason to think she is not, she really should consider deleting some of her posts. A lot of people here who know she is deliberately skirting the SS disability rules and are displeased with her also know her real name. That's just not smart thinking to expose that. I don't personally give a damn, but it is fraud, and it's obvious there are more than a few people here who are quite annoyed with all of the tall tales, exaggerations, and outlandish scenarios. Again, I don't care about the disability thing. But it's a mistake to think everyone who reads this stuff feels the same way. I have been a member here since September 2003 and check in at least once a day. I don't remember anything happening with BB? I think it was in 2004, so it sounds like you were around.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Oct 13, 2022 22:12:58 GMT
I have been a member here since September 2003 and check in at least once a day. I don't remember anything happening with BB? I think it was in 2004, so it sounds like you were around. Wow. You're attacking her over shit that went down nearly 20 years ago. Girl, get some help. Be like Elsa and let. It. Go. You're really not coming off well at all.
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Post by wordfish on Oct 13, 2022 22:13:56 GMT
You know what's so funny about your comment? I was thinking along similar lines: I hope she's getting something out of this. I had forgotten about all the stuff that happened with this person so long ago. But then I remembered. I'm not personally getting anything out of this. Bregdorf and I don't have a back door deal where I support her here and she shares her millions in illicit disability payments with me. I just think she's a person who is in a great deal of physical and emotional pain, amd I don't know why anyone would find it necessary to continue to be hurtful. Clearly, though, your mileage varies. You're quite comfortable kicking someone while they're down. I'm sorry for your struggles and even sorrier they've made you unkind instead of compassionate. Aww, thanks. I do okay, but I appreciate the sincerity that shines right on through as you call me an asshole one minute and then are sorry for whatever imaginary struggles you've ascribed to me the next. It's a stunning and gymnastic display that not only oozes compassion and, again, utter sincerity, but, well--it makes me a little jealous. I don't have a flexible bone in my body and you can pivot like, well, like anyone's business. Like one of those fancy ballerina ladies.
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pinklady
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,563
Nov 14, 2016 23:47:03 GMT
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Post by pinklady on Oct 13, 2022 22:14:55 GMT
OK, so either a lot of you were not around for the 2Peas crap that happened with this person years ago, or you've forgotten. I don't remember a lot of it, but I remember enough. This person is not what and who some of you think she is. Does that matter? Maybe not. Probably not. But there is a long history here. If this person is truly receiving disability benefits, and I've no reason to think she is not, she really should consider deleting some of her posts. A lot of people here who know she is deliberately skirting the SS disability rules and are displeased with her also know her real name. That's just not smart thinking to expose that. I don't personally give a damn, but it is fraud, and it's obvious there are more than a few people here who are quite annoyed with all of the tall tales, exaggerations, and outlandish scenarios. Again, I don't care about the disability thing. But it's a mistake to think everyone who reads this stuff feels the same way. I have been a member here since September 2003 and check in at least once a day. I don't remember anything happening with BB? Same. There are quite a few peas who keep vague posting to some past issue but clearly don't have the balls to say anything. If something that bad happened, it would be dredged up repeatedly but it's not.
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Post by wordfish on Oct 13, 2022 22:18:12 GMT
I think it was in 2004, so it sounds like you were around. Wow. You're attacking her over shit that went down nearly 20 years ago. Girl, get some help. Be like Elsa and let. It. Go. You're really not coming off well at all. Because my goal is, as you keep repeating to people as though these words hold some magical qualities, to "come off well." I am, in fact, not attacking her over shit that went down nearly 20 years ago. I had a total of zero involvement in it and don't even remember it all that well. It was not about me. But I remember enough. A victim, this person is not. Not even a little. Those of you who are placing yourselves in the role of her defenders? You don't know what you are defending. I realize you think you do. You do not. This type of cycle has happened on Two Peas for decades. This is just the latest iteration. There are always people to play every role. What's mine? I don't really have one. I am here very little. I just remember.
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Post by wordfish on Oct 13, 2022 22:20:09 GMT
I have been a member here since September 2003 and check in at least once a day. I don't remember anything happening with BB? Same. There are quite a few peas who keep vague posting to some past issue but clearly don't have the balls to say anything. If something that bad happened, it would be dredged up repeatedly but it's not. Oh it's bad. It's worse than you can probably imagine. But it's not my story to tell, the person involved is still traumatized although I doubt she is here any longer, and as this person will tell you herself, attorneys were involved. If it was my story to tell? I would tell it. It's not. But people here do remember. And it was very, very bad. Perhaps this person would like to tell it. I would find that interesting.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Oct 13, 2022 22:30:20 GMT
I'm not personally getting anything out of this. Bregdorf and I don't have a back door deal where I support her here and she shares her millions in illicit disability payments with me. I just think she's a person who is in a great deal of physical and emotional pain, amd I don't know why anyone would find it necessary to continue to be hurtful. Clearly, though, your mileage varies. You're quite comfortable kicking someone while they're down. I'm sorry for your struggles and even sorrier they've made you unkind instead of compassionate. Aww, thanks. I do okay, but I appreciate the sincerity that shines right on through as you call me an asshole one minute and then are sorry for whatever imaginary struggles you've ascribed to me the next. It's a stunning and gymnastic display that not only oozes compassion and, again, utter sincerity, but, well--it makes me a little jealous. I don't have a flexible bone in my body and you can pivot like, well, like anyone's business. Like one of those fancy ballerina ladies. I'm sorry for anyone who struggles. Even assholes. But what I was really trying to say is that I'm sorry your struggles have made you a cruel asshole. Lots of people are hurt in life and yet they don't attack others. Anyway, have fun holding on to that 20 year old message board anger. I'm done interacting with you. You're comfortable being a jerk to Bergdorf, I told you you're a jerk, and we agree on that fact.
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Post by wordfish on Oct 13, 2022 22:33:15 GMT
Aww, thanks. I do okay, but I appreciate the sincerity that shines right on through as you call me an asshole one minute and then are sorry for whatever imaginary struggles you've ascribed to me the next. It's a stunning and gymnastic display that not only oozes compassion and, again, utter sincerity, but, well--it makes me a little jealous. I don't have a flexible bone in my body and you can pivot like, well, like anyone's business. Like one of those fancy ballerina ladies. I'm sorry for anyone who struggles. Even assholes. But what I was really trying to say is that I'm sorry your struggles have made you a cruel asshole. Lots of people are hurt in life and yet they don't attack others. Anyway, have fun holding on to that 20 year old message board anger. I'm done interacting with you. You're comfortable being a jerk to Bergdorf, I told you you're a jerk, and we agree on that fact. Promise? Not that I'm keeping track but you've now called me an asshole, a cruel asshole, and a jerk. If you weren't done interacting with me, I'd hold out hope for the C-word. Can't I just have been born that way? Must it be due to struggles? That cheapens the name-calling for me.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Oct 13, 2022 22:33:24 GMT
I have been a member here since September 2003 and check in at least once a day. I don't remember anything happening with BB? Same. There are quite a few peas who keep vague posting to some past issue but clearly don't have the balls to say anything. If something that bad happened, it would be dredged up repeatedly but it's not. these people should just come out with The Terrible Thing that Bergdorf Did or shut the fuck up about it, imo. "It's not my story to tell", but I'll just dredge up oblique 20 year old accusations, anyway. 🙄
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Post by wordfish on Oct 13, 2022 22:41:15 GMT
Same. There are quite a few peas who keep vague posting to some past issue but clearly don't have the balls to say anything. If something that bad happened, it would be dredged up repeatedly but it's not. these people should just come out with The Terrible Thing that Berfdorf Did or shut the fuck up about it, imo. "It's not my story to tell", but I'll just dredge up oblique accusations, anyway. 🙄 Why should these people do that? Because deep down where you can't be honest with yourself, it's because you want to know? Should they do it to satisfy people's curiosity? Or should people be able to express themselves in the way they desire, to the extent they desire, and perhaps did not go to the School Of Oversharing? There are lots of people here who know me, who knew me, and who remember me. There are lots of people here who really did not care for me, who likely do not currently care for me (though I am here so rarely it seems a trifle self-absorbed to characterize it that way), and many more who more or less have no clue I exist, which suits me great. But what even some of the people who did not care for me will say is that it's quite likely I do remember. It is my complete prerogative, and that of anyone else who has alluded to what this person really is, to express exactly as much information as I would like and no more. I would love to explain how this person came to 2Peas, what she did, and what happened on the old board. But this person so damaged another human being that there is no way I will tell that story. It literally is not mine to tell. This person you are defending is no victim. You've been manipulated and deluded.
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amom23
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,338
Jun 27, 2014 12:39:18 GMT
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Post by amom23 on Oct 13, 2022 22:45:01 GMT
Same. There are quite a few peas who keep vague posting to some past issue but clearly don't have the balls to say anything. If something that bad happened, it would be dredged up repeatedly but it's not. these people should just come out with The Terrible Thing that Bergdorf Did or shut the fuck up about it, imo. "It's not my story to tell", but I'll just dredge up oblique 20 year old accusations, anyway. 🙄 I'm not sure why you feel the need to defend Bergdorf to the extent you are, but maybe it's time for you to back away. I don't think I really ever respond to Bergdorf, but I honestly see other peas offering her advice and her pushing their suggestions aside. I'm sure it's really frustrating to those peas who do try to offer her support. My feeling is don't put your shit on a public message board if you don't want the feedback.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Oct 13, 2022 22:48:31 GMT
these people should just come out with The Terrible Thing that Berfdorf Did or shut the fuck up about it, imo. "It's not my story to tell", but I'll just dredge up oblique accusations, anyway. 🙄 Why should these people do that? Because deep down where you can't be honest with yourself, it's because you want to know? Should they do it to satisfy people's curiosity? Or should people be able to express themselves in the way they desire, to the extent they desire, and perhaps did not go to the School Of Oversharing? There are lots of people here who know me, who knew me, and who remember me. There are lots of people here who really did not care for me, who likely do not currently care for me (though I am here so rarely it seems a trifle self-absorbed to characterize it that way), and many more who more or less have no clue I exist, which suits me great. But what even some of the people who did not care for me will say is that it's quite likely I do remember. It is my complete prerogative, and that of anyone else who has alluded to what this person really is, to express exactly as much information as I would like and no more. I would love to explain how this person came to 2Peas, what she did, and what happened on the old board. But this person so damaged another human being that there is no way I will tell that story. It literally is not mine to tell. This person you are defending is no victim. You've been manipulated and deluded. I'm responding after I said I wouldn't because you chose to quote me. I'm saying you should stop with the coy shit and just tell us why we have been so deluded by this master manipulator. Or are we just supposed to take your word for it? "There's information you don't have that proves she is awful but I won't share it and you're just drama mongering if you tell me to back my accusations up." I honestly don't remember any interaction with you prior to this really awful one, but you really do seem like at least as much of an asshole as you want us to believe Bergdorf is.
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inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
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Post by inkedup on Oct 13, 2022 22:50:39 GMT
these people should just come out with The Terrible Thing that Bergdorf Did or shut the fuck up about it, imo. "It's not my story to tell", but I'll just dredge up oblique 20 year old accusations, anyway. 🙄 I'm not sure why you feel the need to defend Bergdorf to the extent you are, but maybe it's time for you to back away. I don't think I really ever respond to Bergdorf, but I honestly see other peas offering her advice and her pushing their suggestions aside. I'm sure it's really frustrating to those peas who do try to offer her support. My feeling is don't put your shit on a public message board if you don't want the feedback. I'll post what I want, thanks. Feel free to block me if it bothers you I'm defending someone vulnerable who is being piled on. 😘
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