|
Post by wordfish on Oct 13, 2022 22:55:06 GMT
Why should these people do that? Because deep down where you can't be honest with yourself, it's because you want to know? Should they do it to satisfy people's curiosity? Or should people be able to express themselves in the way they desire, to the extent they desire, and perhaps did not go to the School Of Oversharing? There are lots of people here who know me, who knew me, and who remember me. There are lots of people here who really did not care for me, who likely do not currently care for me (though I am here so rarely it seems a trifle self-absorbed to characterize it that way), and many more who more or less have no clue I exist, which suits me great. But what even some of the people who did not care for me will say is that it's quite likely I do remember. It is my complete prerogative, and that of anyone else who has alluded to what this person really is, to express exactly as much information as I would like and no more. I would love to explain how this person came to 2Peas, what she did, and what happened on the old board. But this person so damaged another human being that there is no way I will tell that story. It literally is not mine to tell. This person you are defending is no victim. You've been manipulated and deluded. I'm responding after I said I wouldn't because you chose to quote me. I'm saying you should stop with the coy shit and just tell us why we have been so deluded by this master manipulator. Or are we just supposed to take your word for it? "There's information you don't have that proves she is awful but I won't share it and you're just drama mongering if you tell me to back my accusations up." I honestly don't remember any interaction with you prior to this really awful one, but you really do seem like at least as much of an asshole as you want us to believe Bergdorf is. Well, what I know about you is that you can't keep your promises for more than a few moments, but I can work with it and already sort of knew you were not done interacting with me. I don't think this interaction is awful at all. I look at it as the beginning of the "Truth Will Reveal Itself" phase. It's happened here many times in the past. It's actually very predictable and not even particularly noteworthy. You don't have to believe a word I said. It doesn't really matter to me, owing to the fact that I don't know you. But others? They don't have to believe or disbelieve me because they ALSO remember--or they mostly forgot but are starting to remember, probably in a similar way to my experience. But let's not make this about you. Or me. We are immaterial to the matter at hand. Those of you who see a victim in this person and attack those who point out obvious, glaring lies, exaggerations and objectively bad behavior? You are not defending a victim. If you ever came to realize that, I wonder if that would change the role you have played here. I'm pretty good at spotting patterns and cycles, but I could never really figure that one out. It doesn't actually matter, but I do think it's an interesting question.
|
|
|
Post by LiLi on Oct 13, 2022 22:58:25 GMT
these people should just come out with The Terrible Thing that Berfdorf Did or shut the fuck up about it, imo. "It's not my story to tell", but I'll just dredge up oblique accusations, anyway. 🙄 Why should these people do that? Because deep down where you can't be honest with yourself, it's because you want to know? Should they do it to satisfy people's curiosity? Or should people be able to express themselves in the way they desire, to the extent they desire, and perhaps did not go to the School Of Oversharing? There are lots of people here who know me, who knew me, and who remember me. There are lots of people here who really did not care for me, who likely do not currently care for me (though I am here so rarely it seems a trifle self-absorbed to characterize it that way), and many more who more or less have no clue I exist, which suits me great. But what even some of the people who did not care for me will say is that it's quite likely I do remember. It is my complete prerogative, and that of anyone else who has alluded to what this person really is, to express exactly as much information as I would like and no more. I would love to explain how this person came to 2Peas, what she did, and what happened on the old board. But this person so damaged another human being that there is no way I will tell that story. It literally is not mine to tell. This person you are defending is no victim. You've been manipulated and deluded. People want to know because some have reached out and helped her. Even sending items and money. I've always felt bad for her struggles. If they aren't true I would expect someone actually say so if they have proof. Otherwise it sounds like bs.
|
|
|
Post by ~summer~ on Oct 13, 2022 23:03:58 GMT
I’ve been a pea since around 2002 and don’t remember any drama but my curiosity is now completely peaked.
|
|
|
Post by wordfish on Oct 13, 2022 23:06:15 GMT
Why should these people do that? Because deep down where you can't be honest with yourself, it's because you want to know? Should they do it to satisfy people's curiosity? Or should people be able to express themselves in the way they desire, to the extent they desire, and perhaps did not go to the School Of Oversharing? There are lots of people here who know me, who knew me, and who remember me. There are lots of people here who really did not care for me, who likely do not currently care for me (though I am here so rarely it seems a trifle self-absorbed to characterize it that way), and many more who more or less have no clue I exist, which suits me great. But what even some of the people who did not care for me will say is that it's quite likely I do remember. It is my complete prerogative, and that of anyone else who has alluded to what this person really is, to express exactly as much information as I would like and no more. I would love to explain how this person came to 2Peas, what she did, and what happened on the old board. But this person so damaged another human being that there is no way I will tell that story. It literally is not mine to tell. This person you are defending is no victim. You've been manipulated and deluded. People want to know because some have reached out and helped her. Even sending items and money. I've always felt bad for her struggles. If they aren't true I would expect someone actually say so if they have proof. Otherwise it sounds like bs. I'm afraid I can't help you with what people have chosen to express of their knowledge and experience of this person. It's perfectly reasonable to call BS and unless someone else wants to share their experience, that's where it will stay because as I have said, not my story to tell. For what it's worth, which is probably very little as it is really true I am not often here and have read, as I said, probably less than 1% of what this person has posted here, this person probably did experience some of what she relayed. I'm sure she is a widow, and that she has a daughter with challenges. If you sent money and things because you are a good person and felt bad for her struggles, you should never feel regret for that. But as I have said several times already: This person is no victim. She just isn't.
|
|
pinklady
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,563
Nov 14, 2016 23:47:03 GMT
|
Post by pinklady on Oct 13, 2022 23:17:04 GMT
|
|
|
Post by merry27 on Oct 13, 2022 23:19:53 GMT
Why should these people do that? Because deep down where you can't be honest with yourself, it's because you want to know? Should they do it to satisfy people's curiosity? Or should people be able to express themselves in the way they desire, to the extent they desire, and perhaps did not go to the School Of Oversharing? There are lots of people here who know me, who knew me, and who remember me. There are lots of people here who really did not care for me, who likely do not currently care for me (though I am here so rarely it seems a trifle self-absorbed to characterize it that way), and many more who more or less have no clue I exist, which suits me great. But what even some of the people who did not care for me will say is that it's quite likely I do remember. It is my complete prerogative, and that of anyone else who has alluded to what this person really is, to express exactly as much information as I would like and no more. I would love to explain how this person came to 2Peas, what she did, and what happened on the old board. But this person so damaged another human being that there is no way I will tell that story. It literally is not mine to tell. This person you are defending is no victim. You've been manipulated and deluded. People want to know because some have reached out and helped her. Even sending items and money. I've always felt bad for her struggles. If they aren't true I would expect someone actually say so if they have proof. Otherwise it sounds like bs. This!!
|
|
|
Post by Laurie on Oct 13, 2022 23:38:41 GMT
I’ve been a pea since around 2002 and don’t remember any drama but my curiosity is now completely peaked. I have been a pea since 2003 and I do remember there was something big that went down with her but can’t remember the details. The specifics have escaped me but that is how it is for me with almost all of the “big” drama threads. I am curious about you wordfish. I think I know who you are but not sure. Have you told us what your name was at the pod?
|
|
|
Post by wordfish on Oct 13, 2022 23:43:45 GMT
Hey, Laurie.
It's me (Seanna). Lovely to see you. I definitely remember you. Hope you are well.
|
|
|
Post by Laurie on Oct 13, 2022 23:46:24 GMT
Hey, Laurie. It's me (Seanna). Lovely to see you. I definitely remember you. Hope you are well. I thought it was you!! Glad to “see” you again!
|
|
|
Post by Laurie on Oct 14, 2022 0:05:47 GMT
As far as the topic of the thread I agree with others that the admin doesn’t have to explain herself but I admit I am curious about the rationale behind it. That thread wasn’t even close to a pile on or beating a dead horse. Odd that it was locked but others have taken so much worse on here. One that comes to mind is the deplorable way sassy was treated and nothing was done to help her. Just weird of all the threads this was the one to be locked (outside of announcements).
|
|
|
Post by SockMonkey on Oct 14, 2022 0:10:22 GMT
If this board is nothing else, it's consistent. Drama and spreadsheet keepers; NSBR traditions.
|
|
|
Post by wordfish on Oct 14, 2022 0:21:56 GMT
Yer damn right, Sock.
|
|
|
Post by Laurie on Oct 14, 2022 0:24:57 GMT
I confess that I used the way back machine to see if I could find what had happened. Anyway…that was a blast from the past. Good times and seeing the names of some of the peas that I hadn’t thought about in awhile. Brought a smile to my face.
|
|
pinklady
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,563
Nov 14, 2016 23:47:03 GMT
|
Post by pinklady on Oct 14, 2022 0:31:03 GMT
And you found nothing?
|
|
Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,772
Location: Kentucky
Jun 25, 2014 20:31:44 GMT
|
Post by Kerri W on Oct 14, 2022 0:41:21 GMT
I don’t post often but I’ve been around for a long, long time. Whatever Seanna is alluding to does not ring a single bell for me. Obviously it was a big deal if lawyers were involved and the other party is still traumatized by it. Truly-my heart goes out to that person. A message board on the internet should not lead to that. 🙁
Did BB go by a different name there?
|
|
|
Post by wordfish on Oct 14, 2022 0:44:08 GMT
She did have an alter name there but she has always maintained the BB persona to the best of my knowledge.
|
|
|
Post by Laurie on Oct 14, 2022 0:48:46 GMT
You only see a few days of posts per snapshot and you can’t use the search function. After about 30 minutes my attention was gone and I was spending more time reading old threads. Plus, my pizza was delivered. 😂
|
|
|
Post by Skellinton on Oct 14, 2022 0:49:31 GMT
I confess that I used the way back machine to see if I could find what had happened. Anyway…that was a blast from the past. Good times and seeing the names of some of the peas that I hadn’t thought about in awhile. Brought a smile to my face. How do you use the way back machine? I want to see if my memory is correct about something else on there.
|
|
|
Post by Laurie on Oct 14, 2022 0:53:17 GMT
I confess that I used the way back machine to see if I could find what had happened. Anyway…that was a blast from the past. Good times and seeing the names of some of the peas that I hadn’t thought about in awhile. Brought a smile to my face. How do you use the way back machine? I want to see if my memory is correct about something else on there. Try this link
|
|
|
Post by delila on Oct 14, 2022 1:39:57 GMT
Seems almost like old times when the peas were just waiting for a good old fashioned hair flip a la Nurse Kitty.
|
|
|
Post by merry27 on Oct 14, 2022 1:46:29 GMT
I remember BB as being nothing but nice and kind back in the day. I have a crazy good memory and don’t remember any drama surrounding her unless she also posted under an alias. The only drama I remember from back then when the police were involved was someone calling in a welfare check on a Pea, someone contacting a Pea’s boss to let them know how much they were peaing while at work and a Pea who faked her own death but was really a scrapbook store owner posing as a younger woman (Sydney?).
|
|
|
Post by chlerbie on Oct 14, 2022 2:33:31 GMT
I have a vague memory of something happening. I think it might have had to do with "the blog", but my memory is fuzzy on what it was.
Adding more...
But I also think BB has been a member here for many years and whatever it was, seems that most of us put it behind us, since I generally have a good memory and have been thinking about it and can't recall any details. I have no doubt, no matter what else, that life is really hard for her right now and grief has no time schedule.
|
|
|
Post by cindyupnorth on Oct 14, 2022 2:54:47 GMT
Yea, I’ve been here like forever. I don’t remember anything that bad happening or very very bad?! WTH? Like someone else said, if it was so bad it would have been brought up before. And people wouldn’t have been sending her money and stuff. If you can’t back up what you are saying, you really shouldn’t be spreading gossip.
|
|
|
Post by merry27 on Oct 14, 2022 2:57:29 GMT
Yea, I’ve been here like forever. I don’t remember anything that bad happening or very very bad?! WTH? Like someone else said, if it was so bad it would have been brought up before. And people wouldn’t have been sending her money and stuff. If you can’t back up what you are saying, you really shouldn’t be spreading gossip. I think this is exactly what is happening. How sad.
|
|
kiki
Junior Member
Posts: 58
Aug 3, 2014 19:34:58 GMT
|
Post by kiki on Oct 14, 2022 3:02:52 GMT
Seanna is correct. It was ugly!
|
|
|
Post by mollycoddle on Oct 14, 2022 9:32:02 GMT
Yea, I’ve been here like forever. I don’t remember anything that bad happening or very very bad?! WTH? Like someone else said, if it was so bad it would have been brought up before. And people wouldn’t have been sending her money and stuff. If you can’t back up what you are saying, you really shouldn’t be spreading gossip. I can’t remember that either. But that is really beside the point. If something happened, it was a long time ago. What has really bothered me about this thread was criticizing someone in the third person, as if they weren’t going to be reading this thread. At least in the other thread people were addressing BB directly. It’s a form of “othering,” and it’s not a good thing. ETA: This isn’t directed to you, Cindy, or really to anyone in particular. It’s just what I thought when I saw this thread. Also, the wayback machine is fun. I’ve played around with it a few times.
|
|
lesley
Drama Llama
My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
Posts: 7,184
Location: Scotland, Scotland, Scotland
Jul 6, 2014 21:50:44 GMT
|
Post by lesley on Oct 14, 2022 10:14:51 GMT
My opinion FWIW - the Peas have been overwhelmingly supportive of BB for quite some time. She has been given emotional, practical, and of course, financial support. The emotional and financial support have been well received, the practical rather less so. And people get tired when their (solicited) advice and ideas are constantly rejected. It’s frustrating. I understand that when you are dealing with stress and trauma, then minor issues like your car not starting can seem like a huge deal. But BB catastrophises and exaggerates everything. (Just how many exclamation marks does one sentence actually require?) And she doesn’t like it when people question her claims, or ask her to clarify one of her wild hyperboles.
It seems to me to parallel the idea of when you have always been privileged, equality feels like oppression. When you have always received sympathy and been indulged, then mild criticism probably feels like huge rejection. And maybe this is why BB has overreacted so strongly in her last thread.
|
|
|
Post by melanell on Oct 14, 2022 10:39:52 GMT
And this is why trying to close down a thread on NSBR is typically not a good idea. You're just asking for a new thread to start, and inevitably the new thread will not go down any better than the first. I'm not at all trying to be snarky here. I'm just saying that if anyone here is thinking that perhaps requesting a lock on a future thread might be a good idea, please note that this spin-off thread is both longer and less kind than the original thread, even without any involvement by the original poster of the original thread. I feel like we've seen this play out several times before, yet people still occasionally insist on trying to delete OPs, "close" threads, or now lock them. I'm just not sure it's the best bet to try these things when a thread isn't going your way.
|
|
rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,663
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
|
Post by rodeomom on Oct 14, 2022 13:46:34 GMT
I did not start this thread as a spin off of hers. This was not about the content of her thread. Hers just happened to be the one that was locked. I had never seen a thread locked before.
ETA: If I had known the thread would have turned into a bashing thread I would not have posted it. (I should have known). As someone who has lost people very close to me in the last few years, this makes me very sad. It costs you nothing to extend someone grace.
|
|
|
Post by hop2 on Oct 14, 2022 13:51:32 GMT
. But it's a mistake to think everyone who reads this stuff feels the same way. Well, yes, I agree. There was at some point at least 1 person willing to look up someone’s life & try to rat them out. After what might have happened to Mrs Tyler I did get somewhat cautious. It is difficult to remain vigilant at the caution because you all ‘feel’ like my support group. After getting me thru my divorce and helping me rebuild my self esteem this place feels like ‘home’ I now have pictures sitting on my phone waiting to be sent to a pea whilst I struggle with who I can and who I shouldn’t trust. What small detail am I forgetting. Is that the pea who I can trust? It’s a real struggle because my nature is to be trusting. Yet I know not everyone is trustworthy. I do think the pea in question shares more than is safe. And yes, adulting is hard! Sometimes it just is, even without major trauma. ( I think we have all suffered grief ) Perhaps that person who called the peas workplace is gone from here, perhaps not. Message boards have risks But I’m here and I’m thankful for the support I’ve received and I hope if I get too risky someone points it out to me privately because I’m just a naive trusting person at heart.
|
|